There are two types of thinking: ambivalent and black and white.

People with black and white thinking know exactly what is good and what is bad. They quickly make their choices and are prone to firm decisions that they do not think about again. Therefore, black and white thinking makes the world simpler.

Ambivalent (gray) thinking is the ability to see a situation from several sides at once. A person who knows how to think ambivalently can accept the opponent's position and look at the problem from his point of view. Despite what ambivalent thinking does to us, it is very useful. After all, only those who learn to move into the “gray zone” will become smarter and wiser.

Gray thinking can be learned. After all, each of us initially possessed the skill of ambivalent thinking when we were small.

Kids do it like this

They love to torment their parents with questions. The chain of “whys” can be endless.

- Why does the dog stick out its tongue and breathe?

- She's hot.

- Why? I'm hot, but I didn't stick my tongue out.

- Yes, but the dog has fur and doesn’t sweat.

- Why does the dog have fur?

- To keep her warm.

- Then why don’t I have wool?

- That's it, that's enough!

Parents will probably recognize this dialogue: similar conversations with children happen often. For a child, the world is not black and white, and he easily tries everything on himself. There is still so much unknown. There are no foundations, no unambiguous truths. The worldview has not yet been formed.

How the world becomes black and white

As we grow older, our views become harsher. Certain frameworks are imposed on us from the outside. For example, students are asked to take exams consisting of test questions. This forces us to think in black and white. The correct answer is always A, B, C or D, it cannot be otherwise.

The main symptom of such a worldview is thinking in certain categories:

• War is bad. War is good.
• Capitalism is bad. Capitalism is good.
• Higher education is necessary. Higher education is a waste of time.

As we grow up, we think in slogans. They replace our understanding of the problem, the thinking process itself. After all, in order to think, you need to strain. And when it is clear what is black and what is white, there is no need to think.

Is it bad to have strong beliefs?

No, not bad. But the real world is not black and white. It is very difficult to find a question to which you could give the only correct answer. Our life is a gray area.

This is very difficult to accept: in schools and universities we are taught to believe that there are right and wrong answers. And only when faced with reality do we begin to suspect that the world is not so simple.

Clear answers and slogans are no longer suitable. If you know history well, you will not be able to unequivocally say that war is bad. Most likely, now you will say: “War is bad, but at some stages of the development of the state it was necessary, so it can be considered a complex and ambiguous phenomenon.”

From this answer it becomes clear: you are not inclined to make hasty conclusions. Ambivalent thinking is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can spend ages choosing between kefir and fermented baked milk. On the other hand, you have the ability to see the world from multiple perspectives and judge more wisely.

How to learn ambivalent thinking

Learning to think ambivalently is quite difficult, especially if you are prone to radical judgments. But this will help you see the situation from all sides and not rush to conclusions. Therefore, it’s still worth learning gray thinking, and here’s how you can do it.

1. Stop judging the world harshly

2. Think about the event or phenomenon in perspective

Consider phenomena, events and concepts from the point of view of time. Determine their significance, taking into account both the good and the bad.

3. Accept that you are not always right.

Accept your opponent's point of view. Try to believe that he knows the truth and you don’t.

4. Teach yourself that truth is ambiguous.

Look at the problem from all sides. Accept a different opinion. Remember how, and try to take at least a step towards ambivalent thinking.

Greetings, dear readers. Everyone knows that a positive attitude and faith in yourself and your strengths are one of the important conditions on the path to achieving our goals. Let's see how to change your thinking, so that it helps, and does not hinder, getting what we strive for.

When embarking on the path of knowledge, or wanting to resolve a difficult life situation, we often turn to psychologists, esotericists, and clergy for help. And we discover one life law: only we are responsible for all events in our lives. Gradually the realization comes: you can change your life by changing the way you think.

Where to start, how to change your thinking? There are a lot of ways. First of all, you need to learn to be aware when experiencing an emotion.

Our feelings are most often reflexive. We are offended by some actions, others make us happy, and we are indifferent to others. When you feel a change in mood, try to determine what exactly you are experiencing: sadness, irritation, anxiety? Think about it, how does this feeling benefit you? Why exactly this? Is it possible to replace it with something else? For example, not to be offended, but to sympathize with the offender: how did he get it in life, since he takes it out on someone.

If you think about it, you can find something good in every situation. They say: “every cloud has a silver lining.” You just have to switch your attention and see the other side.

1. Fixation on the good

The method is as follows: when positive emotions arise, you need to artificially prolong them. That is, consciously re-experience pleasant moments. At least twenty seconds every day. Strengthen your small and especially big victories.

It’s even better to take a beautiful notebook and write down all your brightest and most joyful moments in life, which gave you particularly strong positive emotions - made you feel joy, happiness, moments of delight or jubilation. Open this notebook every day in the morning and at night before bed, and by re-reading it, you will revive all these experiences and pleasant moments again and again. In this way, you force your consciousness to focus more often on positive events and sensations, and therefore there will be more and more of them in your life.

1. Neutralization of negativity

Everyone understands that cleanliness can be achieved in two ways: cleaning more often and not littering. Negative thoughts clog our minds just like trash clogs our home. If you feel angry or sad, mentally imagine what this feeling is like: a poisonous fog or a rotten fish? And this is THIS you are going to keep in your soul? If your imagination is okay, try turning the image into something pleasant, for example, a sunbeam.

Another way to switch from negative thoughts to positive ones:

Take a piece of paper and a pen. At the top write:

“I thank life for...”

And list everything in your life that you can be grateful for in life or God right now. For example, health, well-being, your home, food on the table, for loved ones next to you, for sunlight and a bright clear sky above your head. Yes, all of these are seemingly familiar and ordinary things, but it is important to remember that they are worth being grateful for, because not everyone has this.

1. Soul cleansing

It is best to cleanse yourself of accumulated mental trash from a specialist: a priest or a psychologist. If this is not possible, keep a diary where you write down everything bad: your thoughts, events, actions for which you are ashamed. After this, destroy the records. You can take a piece of paper, write down everything that worries, upsets and burdens you, and then burn it. Let everything that was written on that piece of paper leave you with the fire. It is especially effective to do this early in the morning or before bed.

1. Inspiring Beacons

Changing alone is quite difficult. But everything will become easier, once you discover a person who has coped with adversity and is ready to share his experience. You can read inspiring biographies, and it would be better if they were training books, of which there are a lot. Here is just an incomplete list of authors who not only went through difficult life trials, but also showed the way to other people:

• Mirzakarim Norbekov,
• Louise Hay,
• Liz Burbo,
• Julia Cameron
• Maya Gogulan.

Training emotions is similar to doing physical exercise: the result will definitely be noticeable if you do it constantly.

Make these five points your daily ritual. Or at least three of them. And gradually you will begin to notice how bright thoughts become your habit.

When you complete these five steps, please share in the comments whether everything worked out for you and how you felt after completing it.

Or maybe you have your own effective methods that help you change your train of thought and switch to the positive? Share, it's interesting.

Did you like the article? Then be the first to know about the release of new articles.

Often the obstacles that prevent us from achieving a goal or becoming better are only in our heads. Consciousness determines how we behave in difficult situations, whether we cope with fear, achieve success or fail. Therefore it needs to be changed.

How to think positively

4. Be persistent and purposeful

If you give up, you will go back to square one and become a prisoner of a fixed mindset again. Think about what work has already been done.

How to get into an abundance mindset

People with a scarcity mindset think that there are not enough resources for everyone. Stephen Covey in his book “To Be, Not to Seem” makes an interesting analogy.

People with a scarcity mindset believe that there is only one pie in the world and that if someone takes a piece, they will get less. This attitude leads to a win/lose mindset: if you win, I lose, and I can't let that happen.

Stephen Covey, American business expert

People with an abundance mindset believe that there are many pies and no losers: everyone will win and get their piece (or more than one).

1. Think about what you have

Focus on this. Material or intangible things - it doesn't matter. You need to learn to think abundantly and be grateful for what you have.

2. Share

How to think proactively

Reactive thinkers are influenced by external factors. They do not play an active role in life, but simply go with the flow.

People with proactive thinking do not blame the situation or others if something goes wrong, but take responsibility for their lives. They know what they can change and what they can't, and they focus on the former.

1. Take action

Move from the passenger seat to the steering wheel and start taking control of your life. Instead of saying, “The weather is too bad to go for a run,” say, “It’s raining outside, but it’s dry at home. So I can make others.”

The point is to stop being a hostage to situations and act regardless of what is happening around you.

2. Get rid of reactive thinking phrases

Forget about:

• I can't because...
• If I could, I would.
• I had to…
• This is how the circumstances developed.

And try:

• I'll find an alternative.
• I can do it.
• This is my decision.
• I want this myself.

3. Take responsibility for your life.

Don't waste your time on trifles and don't get angry when things don't go according to plan. The bus didn't arrive on time? Leave early, take it with you so as not to waste time, get your license and save up for a car, but don’t become a victim of circumstances. Let them work for you.

Nobody promised that it would be easy and fast. But who, if not you, will help you become better and achieve success?\

If you tend to think negatively, you may feel like it's an innate quality that drives you throughout your life. It is this faulty behavior that drags many people down as they allow negative thoughts to ruin their mood.

In reality, negative thinking is a habit that can be challenged and changed through knowledge, strategies and behavior. Once we understand the root of our negativity and change the way we perceive the situation, we can develop a more positive outlook that will provide enormous benefits in our personal and professional lives.

6 Ways You Can Change Negative Thinking

So here are six simple and powerful ways to help you stop negative thinking and develop more positive behavioral habits.

Develop a proper sleep cycle for yourself

Negative thinking is a symptom of depression, and it is often made worse by lack of sleep or irregular sleep cycles. The connection between negativity, depression and sleep disturbances has been studied in many studies. For example, in 2005, American researchers found that patients with depression or anxiety tended to sleep less than six hours each night.

To negate your negativity, make sure you get plenty of rest. You should definitely develop a healthy and consistent sleep cycle for yourself. This will help you achieve eight hours of sleep every day, thereby creating a routine that helps you get up for work every morning.

Write down your negative thoughts

The problem with negative thoughts is that they are usually unformed and ambiguous in our minds. This means that they are difficult to identify or eliminate using verbal thinking. They can also hide the true source of our fear, so it is very important to process them and understand their meaning.

The best way to do this is to write down negative thoughts in a journal, translating them into words and giving them physical meaning. Start writing them down quickly and casually, focusing on expressing yourself rather than getting the sentence right. Once you have them down on paper, begin to identify their specific meaning or general themes.

This process can also help you develop the habit of expressing yourself in an open manner, which will make it easier to manage relationships and solve interpersonal problems.

Stop going to extremes

Life is far from black and white, and many people with a rational mindset take this into account in their daily thinking process. But the same cannot be said about those people who are prone to negativity. They tend to go to extremes and imagine the worst situation when faced with a problem.

Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to grasp the subtle nuances of life and take into account the positive aspects that can be seen in any situation.

With this in mind, you don't have to change your extremely negative thinking style to a completely positive one. Instead, consider the various positive and negative possibilities that exist in any life situation and create a list to guide your thought processes. This will allow your brain to instantly look for alternatives in the event of extreme negativity, without forcing you to suddenly change your way of thinking.

Act on facts, not assumptions

Negative thinking makes you unable to cope with any kind of uncertainty. Therefore, when you find yourself in a stressful or unfamiliar situation that has a potentially negative outcome, you begin to second-guess events and try to solve the problem without taking into account any relevant facts. This can be described as mind reading, which is likely to contribute to further negativity.

This problem can be easily solved by changing behavior. The first step is to gather the facts and details surrounding the situation and use them to make an informed decision. You should start with the scenario and list all the logical explanations in order of importance. Use pen and paper or verbal reflection. For example, if your friend did not respond to a message instantly, there could be many reasons for this. His battery might be low, he might have a meeting at work, or his phone might be on silent and the message simply wasn't read.

By listing these realistic explanations, you can avoid the temptation to identify negative outcomes and react impulsively. Over time, experience will also teach you that logical and reasonable explanations are always more likely than the worst-case scenarios that appear in your head.

Pay attention to the positive and embrace it

One of the main problems with negative thinking is that it is with you all the time, even when the situation has a positive outcome. This may minimize the positive outcome and the impact it has on you, or it may prevent you from seeing the positive in your life.

Let's assume that you received a salary increase, but it is slightly lower than some of your colleagues. Instead of focusing solely on that one negative thing, it's much better to think about what exactly you got. It is also important to recognize the fact that some employees received an increase even less than yours, or have nothing. This way of thinking brings perspective to any situation and allows facts to counteract negative thoughts.

The key here is perception, that you see negative events as temporary and specific rather than permanent and all-encompassing. Learn to balance your negative thoughts with contrasting positive ones. This will allow you to get into the habit of seeing things in perspective much more often.

Think through all the circumstances again and look for the positive

There are situations in which both positive and negative effects can be clearly identified. But there are others that can be instantly perceived as negative. This is the worst nightmare for those who tend to think negatively, as they are faced with a situation that feeds their pessimistic mindset and does not offer an immediate way out.

Let's say you're at the airport and your flight is delayed. This is a negative scenario, causing you to panic and consider the opportunities you might miss because of it.

You can solve this situation if you start actively looking for the positive. It is important to revisit the current situation and reframe the perceived problem as a potential opportunity. So, instead of focusing on what you might miss, why not list other things you can accomplish while waiting for your flight? You might, for example, finish important work or enjoy a sudden break. This will distract you from negative thoughts as you look for the positive and optimize your time.

Conclusion

Negative thinking has a negative impact on every aspect of our lives. With the help of these little secrets, you can finally move the needle and begin to see the world around you in a color other than gray and black.

How to change?.. How to turn negative thinking into positive?...

Of course, the speed and power of the action of a personal magic wand is always individual and depends on the willingness to abandon the stereotypes of a particular person. Let's at least try to start...

In fact, it would be easier to analyze specific cases, but the general ones can be identified.

Try to thoroughly analyze several examples from life: what is the reason for your frustration, dissatisfaction, etc.? This helps a lot!

Too many problems happen because someone else does not act in a way that a person believes to be correct. And it works especially great on family and friends: “How can they??” .. well, for example... “watch this football - they pump up their potential! And TV is absolutely zombie-like!”

I deliberately took a weak example with correct phrases, but not the correct general meaning: no matter what truth you know, you have no right to decide for others. And with your booing and indignation you can only worsen the situation:

1. you have emotions;
2. you affect others with your emotions;
3. others also begin to resonate in a negative mood

As a result: everyone’s immune membrane is not in the best condition, and much more potential will be removed than was possible before the disturbances.

In addition, if you broadcast the meaning with a raised tone, in a position of pressure, then the force of kicking will be directly proportional to the force of pushing the information.

So in all cases concerning decisions that are not yours, why go where you weren’t invited and, in addition, with a claim to the post of manager? A joke is the best way out if you are already participating in a conversation, otherwise you just don’t need to interfere.

By the way, about football:

Christ got bored with the bland life of paradise and decided to come down to earth in Ireland to watch football.

The stadium is full of people, a match between Catholics and Protestants - fans, chants blaring, chants blaring, chants screaming...

The Catholics score a goal - Christ rejoices and claps his hands.

The Protestants score - Christ rejoices and claps again.

Fans flock to Christ:

- Listen, let’s decide who you’re rooting for!

Christ:

- I don’t root for anyone - I just love beautiful football!

- Well, this is all clear: he is definitely an atheist!

Everyone has their own truth, and the Inviolability of Reason and Will is one of the basic laws of the Universe! And where is the meaning of indignation from this point of view?

Frankly, eniology has given me a lot - the very understanding that it is you who create your world significantly changes your mood. If everything essentially depends on you, then what else is needed?! Whatever situations occur, this is always invaluable information with which you can work: life constantly gives us many hints so that we understand the essence of the processes, and being angry and sad about this is not only pointless, but also stupid.

Any situation has its own reasons, and if at some point there is a negative impact, then you have been given an excellent chance to see what exactly is being affected and identify cause-and-effect relationships.

I think understanding what exactly makes a negative perception of what is happening can also greatly contribute to changing views. As I already wrote, in any negative there is a positive - the experience gained from the situation.

That is, in principle, such a situation can be “broken down” into negativity and experience: the more consciously you treat what is happening, the more expediently you move forward in understanding, gaining experience, the less opportunity you leave for negativity.

And vice versa: if you concentrate on the unpleasant aspects of the issue (and where there is thought, there comes energy), the more you cultivate, fertilize, groom and cherish these same troubles and negativity. And, by the way, waste your potential, your life and your capabilities on the embodiment of all sorts of nasty things for your loved one!

The phrases “like attracts like” and “the world around us is a reflection of ourselves” very accurately describe the energy-information exchange. This reminds me of the cartoon about Little Raccoon - where my mother gave very good advice about smiling! 🙂

In today's stressed-out society, there are often only two types of communication interactions: attack and defense. Why??

I still don’t understand why, when approaching another person, you immediately tune in to something bad? What you ask is answered!

Several times I came across the fact that people forgot their own good traits: you approach in a normal way, kindly and from the position of an equal, you fix your “eye” on his positive traits, and the person turns out to be even a little dumbfounded by this (it feels like he’s “ “feels” himself: “Am I really like that?”)

No, I don’t live with rose-colored glasses on my eyes - different things happen in life: sometimes troubles and difficulties in communication occur, but then there is a reason to ask yourself questions.

And is it really so important what others did? It’s much more important how I acted in that situation!

Sometimes there are mistakes... But this choice is precious because I made it myself! If I went too far in something, then straightening up it will crack me on the forehead, and this will be my experience! 🙂 The lump will go away, and you’ll see your brains will fall back into place.. 🙂

True, there must be a sense of proportion, necessity and sufficiency in everything, otherwise the thought sometimes flashes through my mind that any archaeological society would be very happy to take me on an excavation! 🙂

With a tendency to excessive self-examination, it is easy to bury yourself in yourself... As they say: “I went into myself - I won’t be back soon!”

In general, we must learn to perceive ourselves as anyone and at the same time look at the prospects for development with confidence and anticipation of joy!

In the topic “Hello, Mental Plane!” I wrote about an anecdote I told about shaving a client in a barber shop, after which it began to dawn on me the importance of trying to walk along the road, and not wallow in hysterics on the side of the road screaming: “I can’t do it-ah-ah!!”

And it won’t work out if you continue to be “hysterical” - because you yourself have approved this form of interaction with the world!

Psychological attitudes work well, and a person sees what he wants to see, sometimes even creating something that does not exist.

Yes, it's a matter of perception, but who is the master of this perception?

In any situation, the choice is always yours.
You either walk in the rain or just get wet in it.

By broadcasting the negative, a person imposes this matrix on the entire PS and only he himself can change the setting. Yes, the vulture is trying to create an environment of constant stress and aggression, imposing relationships of vampirism that are beneficial to her because she gets a huge profit from this. But a person decides for himself what to invest in and what to nourish within himself!

Once upon a time, an old Indian told his grandson one vital truth.

“There is a struggle inside every person, very similar to the struggle of two wolves. One wolf represents evil - envy, jealousy, regret, selfishness, ambition, lies... The other wolf represents good - peace, love, hope, courtesy, truth, kindness, loyalty...

The little Indian, touched to the depths of his soul by his grandfather’s words, thought for a few moments, and then asked:

- Which wolf wins in the end?

A barely noticeable smile touched the old Indian’s face and he replied:

“The wolf you feed always wins.”

And, of course, humor! Everyone has their own - sometimes sharper, sometimes awkward - it's about your attitude, not how brilliant your joke is! If someone likes it, they will support you, and if not, you’re not making anyone laugh, you’re just enjoying life!

And you don’t have to be afraid of being funny in someone’s eyes: as someone said (I don’t remember who) - “It’s better that they laugh at me than cry.”

Humor can be inappropriate, but not very often. Moreover, it is not synonymous with irresponsibility and frivolity, although... Easy thoughts sound very pleasant!)))

Smile at each other, faces!
All this will come back to you!

Varvara Elkhova