This experiment involved 68 children aged 12 to 18 years. They voluntarily agreed to participate and spend 8 hours alone. At the same time, the children were forbidden to use all kinds of means of communication: TV, computer, mobile phone and others. At the same time, they had full access to a number of other entertainments: they had to read, play musical instruments, write, do needlework, go for walks, play games, and the like.

The family psychologist was the leader of the experiment. Her goal was to prove her own working hypothesis. It consisted in the fact that modern children, although they devote too much time to entertainment, are completely unable to occupy themselves on their own, and also know nothing about their own inner world.

According to the rules of this experiment, the children had to come to the next one and carefully talk about how those 8 hours went. During the experiment, the children had to carefully record all their own actions, as well as sensations and their own thoughts. The children were told that in the event that someone experienced excessive excitement or severe tension, as well as unpleasant discomfort, the participants should immediately interrupt the test, note the time of its stop and describe the reason.

Many will ask: what's wrong with that? At first glance, research on loneliness may seem quite harmless. A specialist in psychology also misunderstood. She thought that this experiment was absolutely safe. The results of the experiment were so unexpected and shocking that no one could even imagine. Of all the schoolchildren - 68 - only three were able to complete the study: 2 boys and one girl.

Other participants ended the experiment for various reasons: 5 began to feel the most severe so-called "panic attacks". Three had suicidal thoughts. The 27 participants experienced symptoms such as hot flashes, sweating, hair-stirring sensations, nausea, acute abdominal pain, dizziness, and so on. Almost every participant experienced feelings of anxiety and fear.

The initial interest in the experiment, the anticipation of novelty disappeared from the participants after 1 - 2 hours. Of all the participants, only 10 began to experience some anxiety after 3 or more hours spent all alone.

The girl, who was able to bring the study to completion, sent the leader a diary in which she carefully described her own condition for all 8 hours. After reading the hair began to move at the psychologist. For ethical reasons, the diary was not subject to publication. However, it became known what the young people who participated in the experiment tried to do with themselves:

Many simply looked out the window or wandered aimlessly around the apartment;

Drawn or attempted to draw;

Engaged in physical exercises or exercised on simulators;

They filled out the diary, entering their own thoughts, or simply wrote letters on paper;

Cooking or eating food;

They did school assignments, taking into account that there were holidays for the experiment, the children, out of desperation, began to study;

Tried to put together puzzles;

Spending time with pets;

Took a shower;

1 boy played the flute, many played the guitar or piano;

One girl spent her time embroidering;

Another girl was praying;

The boy walked around the city on foot TWENTY km.;

Many wrote poetry;

Cleaned up the apartment

Many went out into the street, going to a cafe-bar or shopping centers. According to the rules of the experiment, it was impossible to contact anyone, but these participants probably decided that sellers did not count;

1 guy went to an amusement park and rode for 3 hours. The case ended with the fact that he began to vomit;

1 lad took to spend time at the zoo;

The girl went to the Museum of Political History;

The guy rode around the city on trolleybuses and buses for 5 hours;

Each participant at some point had a desire to fall asleep, but this was not successful for anyone. As they wrote, "bad" thoughts began to visit them. After the children interrupted the study, 20 immediately called friends using their mobile phone, 5 immediately went to visit friends, FOURTEEN of them used the Internet and visited social networks, 3 made a call to their parents.

The other participants immediately started playing games or watching TV. In addition, almost every teenager turned on the music. It is worth noting that immediately after the interruption of the psychological experience in all participants, all unpleasant symptoms disappeared.

After some time, 63 former participants agreed that the study was not only interesting, but also very useful, especially for self-knowledge. 6 accepted to carry out the experiment on their own, and reported that, although not the first time, they nevertheless completed it successfully.

When the participants analyzed their own state during the experiment, it turned out that 51 of them used such combinations of words as: “withdrawal syndrome”, “it turns out that I cannot live without ...”, “addiction”, “withdrawal” and the like. Absolutely everyone admitted that they were extremely surprised by these thoughts that visited them during the experiment, but they were unable to concentrate on them, as their general condition was worsened.

And here is what the children who successfully completed the study on loneliness did:

1 boy was engaged in the analysis and systematization of his collections. And after that he began to transplant indoor plants;

Another boy spent 8 hours building a model of a sailing ship, interrupted only by eating and walking the dog.

It should be noted that not one of them experienced any negative emotions, nor did they have any thoughts.

Agree, there is something to think about ...

Today I suggest you take a small test Tendency to loneliness. It will help you understand how sociable you are or, on the contrary, prone to solitude.

Loneliness Test

Instruction: Carefully read the twelve questions below and choose the answer that seems most appropriate to you by putting an icon in front of it. Try not to think for a long time, because this is not an exam! Probably, every person at least once in his life wanted to be alone with himself. But there are completely different categories of people. For some, loneliness is the best vacation, since it is at this time that you can analyze important events, delve into your own soul. In some cases, such people are very shy and constrained in society, especially among strangers.

There are also people who just need to always and everywhere be in the company. Representatives of this group feel like a fish in water at noisy parties or events, even if strangers are sucking around them. But they endure loneliness and their own society very hard. Boredom, frustration, and sometimes depression appear.

	Statements
	I'm unhappy doing so many things alone
	I have no one to talk to
	It's unbearable for me to be so alone
	I miss communication
	I feel like no one understands me
	I find myself waiting for people to call, text me
	There is no one I can turn to
	I'm not close to anyone anymore
	Those around me do not share my interests and ideas.
	I feel abandoned
	I am not able to relax and communicate with those around me.
	I feel completely alone
	My social relationships and connections are superficial
	I'm dying of longing for company
	No one really knows me well
	I feel isolated from others
	I'm unhappy being so rejected
	I find it hard to make friends
	I feel excluded and isolated by others
	People around me but not with me

Processing, the key to the loneliness test.

The number of each answer is counted.
The sum of answers "often" is multiplied by 3, "sometimes" - by 2, "rarely" - by 1 and "never" - by 0.
The results obtained are added up. The maximum possible indicator of loneliness is 60 points.

Interpretation

a high degree of loneliness is shown from 40 to 60 points,

from 20 to 40 points - the average level of loneliness,

from 0 to 20 points - low level of loneliness.

Feelings associated with loneliness

Factor analysis of the emotional states of a lonely person

despair	depression	unbearable boredom	self-abasement
Despair		impatience	Feeling unattractive
	depression		Worthlessness
Helplessness	emptiness	Desire for change	Feeling stupid
fearfulness	isolation	stiffness	Shyness
Loss of hope	Self pity	Irritability	insecurity
abandoned	Melancholy	Inability to control myself	Alienation
Vulnerability	Longing for a particular person

Factor analysis of the causes of loneliness

freedom from attachment	aloofness	privacy	forced isolation	change of place
Absence of a spouse	I feel like a "white crow"	"I come home to an empty house"	Attachment to home	Stay away from home
Absence of a partner	Misunderstanding from others	"Everyone will leave"	Bedridden	New job or study
Breaking up relationship with spouse with your loved one	Worthlessness		Lack of funds	Excessive travel or movement
	Lack of close friends			Frequent trips

Factor analysis of reactions to loneliness

sad passivity	active privacy	burning money	social contact
	study or work	I spend money	calling a friend
		Shopping	I'm going to visit someone
I sit and think	Listen to music
I do nothing	doing exercises
overeating
I take tranquilizers	Doing what I love
Watching TV	I go to the cinema
Drink or pass out	I read I play music

People have tried for centuries to avoid loneliness or get used to it. Dissenting - cursed loneliness, resigned - did not notice, wise - enjoyed. Loneliness existed, and therefore it is necessary.

The first psychological studies of loneliness focused on the personal self-perception of this state. Rogers viewed loneliness as an alienation of the individual from her true inner feelings. He believed that, striving for recognition and love, people often show themselves from the outside and therefore become alienated from themselves. Whitethorn echoed this view: “Some significant discrepancy between the self-perception of the “I” and the reaction to the “I” of others generates and exacerbates the feeling of loneliness; this process can become a vicious cycle of loneliness and alienation.”

Thus, Rogers and Whitethorn believe that loneliness is generated by the individual's perception of dissonance between the true self and how others see the self.

This idea has been tested by few studies. Eddy hypothesized that loneliness is associated with a mismatch between three aspects of self-perception: the self-perception of the individual (actual "I"), the ideal "I" of the individual, and the idea of ​​​​the individual as seen by others (reflected "I").

Often, low self-esteem is a set of attitudes and behaviors that interferes with the establishment or maintenance of satisfactory social relationships. People with low self-esteem interpret social relationships in a self-deprecating way. They are more likely to attribute communication failures to internal, self-blaming factors. People who don't value themselves highly expect others to see them as worthless too. Such people react more acutely to the call for communication and the refusal to communicate. In general, low self-esteem is often embodied in an interconnected set of self-deprecating consciousness and behavior that distorts social competence, putting people at risk of loneliness.

You can feel lonely and alone with yourself, in a crowd of people and even next to your loved one. The solution to the problem of loneliness lies in the fact that it is necessary to determine what kind of communication and with whom is lacking, what information and what impressions are lacking, and it is precisely this lack that needs to be filled.

How lonely are you?.. Loneliness test. D. Russell and M. Ferguson's method of subjective feeling of loneliness.

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