Many women strive to show that they are the main ones in the family, using the tactics of psychological pressure on their spouse. Reproaches and endless mockery with or without cause become a habit and are a way of self-expression. Life is boring for such women, and there is simply no one to quarrel with and let go of their negative emotions. Their pleasure is the humiliation of another person, the husband is always in the field of view.

Of course, living under the same roof with a person and not having any contact at all is hardly possible. Psychologists identify one key reason why a woman allows herself to be rude towards a man: if she has a higher social position and, therefore, earns many times more than her life partner. Instead of support, a man constantly receives criticism in his address, a wife cuts her lover every day and as a preventive measure.

What actions should be taken if the wife humiliates her husband?

A disappointing trend in the modern world - the majority of such couples. Many women are simply used to making all decisions for their chosen ones. It is much easier to command than to seek a compromise. A calm and balanced man is ready to follow any instructions of his woman, so long as she does not "saw" him. The lady feels like a commander, because if she does not give an order, it is unlikely that anything will be done at all. At least they see this situation in their own light and will not tolerate if a man does not adhere to the rules they have established.

A woman humiliates a man because she herself has many masculine qualities and therefore she suppresses her partner. On a subconscious level, it seems to her that humiliation will allow her to suppress the male in herself, but in the end everything turns out exactly the opposite. How to get out of this vicious circle? Only feelings and the very balance of the balance of the feminine and masculine in oneself will help in such a situation. Instead of taking and sorting out this imbalance that is present, a person begins to criticize and actively express his emotions in order to quickly get rid of the energy of the collision of two opposites inside.

How to save a relationship?

Is it possible to somehow come to an understanding and find a way out of this situation? Partners simply do not understand each other, they speak different languages, neglecting the desires of the second half. What kind of respect are we talking about? But it all starts with him! Over the years, a man spends more and more time at home, preferring to watch football on TV and buy beer. This infuriates a woman, and she arranges regular tantrums about this - and again everything is in a circle.

Enough to endure it: the man defends his point of view

It is not worth continuing to remain silent, it is necessary to gather your thoughts and act. You are unlikely to succeed in remaking a person, but you always need to talk about the problem. By revealing your vectors, you will gradually learn more facets of similarity and difference, and you can play well on this contrast. If the second half has a desire, you can go to an appointment with a psychologist who will help you sort out all your experiences and unravel this emotional tangle. You should make a good habit: just spend more time alone with each other, please with surprises and small gifts. Maybe your wife just lacks attention, and she is trying to piss off a harsh man who rarely speaks words of love and so often keeps all his emotions under control.

It's never too late to reconsider your own behavior, because none of us are perfect, and it's easier to complain to friends about your woman than to do something. It's easier to run away from the problem for years, but this snowball accumulates and very soon it will cover you headlong, like an avalanche. Watch your wife, she probably lacks hobbies, girlfriends, something new and bright in her life. Try to push her to this thought and see how a woman will change next to you, who until recently fought in hysterics, sprinkled you with curses and sent you on all four sides.

Remember one thing: nothing can be perfect, and relationships in a couple are always built differently. Someone is always cold and distant, others have endless passions, and there are those who have prescribed the conditions of their interaction in the marriage contract. Relationships in couples are different, but first of all, there should be respect and awareness that you are doing something wrong. It is never too late to find the right words and just apologize, remember this when you once again start a scandal, or vice versa, silently listen to your wife in the kitchen.

It is unpleasant for any man to listen to insults addressed to him from a person with whom he connected his life with family ties. It's humiliating. The partner wants to know the reasons for the aggressive behavior of the chosen one, how to behave in this situation and whether it is possible to save the marriage.

Causes

There are various reasons for the humiliation of the head of the family by the representative of the weaker sex.

• The reason may be high earnings or the status of his wife. She earns more and considers herself entitled to humiliate her husband, who is not the main breadwinner, to find fault with him. The man is losing control. It is difficult for him to compete with a lucky lady.
• Some women begin to compare their spouse with a more successful neighbor, acquaintance, friend's husband. The wife is annoyed that they have a decent income, which, as it seems to her, is higher than their material well-being.

Instead of providing support, a woman insults and humiliates her husband, reduces his authority in the eyes of children. The chosen one forgets that it is she who is called upon to inspire her betrothed to masculine deeds, to financial success.

• Sometimes aggressive behavior appears as a result of a misunderstanding of the personality psychology of the chosen one. The wife neglects his desires, gets angry with him, undeservedly offends the faithful, insults him in every possible way. There is no harmony and respect for each other in such relations.
• Some people take pleasure in humiliating another person, especially their own spouse.
• Sometimes women have no one to quarrel with. She chooses her husband as an object for a splash of her negative emotions.
• Sometimes a wife humiliates her husband in public, reprimands in the presence of strangers. In this case, it is necessary to talk with the chosen one face to face, explain to her that she can express any displeasure to him quietly, in a whisper, or present her claims later in private.
• Often a woman ceases to have enough compliments and attention from her beloved. On a subconscious level, she tries to draw attention to her person with screams and swearing. The spouse does not realize that it is impossible to return love with aggressive behavior. The gap that has arisen between a married couple is widening.
• If the parent family had a similar pattern of behavior. The mother always dominated, humiliating and insulting her husband. The daughter just copies the actions of the parent.

• A woman may have too many household responsibilities, and her husband does not want to help her. In this case, she has an inadequate reaction to the behavior of the chosen one. The reason is a banal overwork: too many worries fell on her shoulders. The inaction of the faithful causes negative emotions on the part of the wife.
• Sometimes a lady cannot cope with the load at work, and at home she breaks down on her own husband.
• Health problems, hormonal disruptions can also cause causeless mood swings in a woman.
• The wife may experience aggression due to the jealousy of the children to the betrothed. A domineering woman tries to suppress the personality of her husband and her children, who involuntarily begin to reach out to a soft and accommodating father. The mother begins to deliberately say unpleasant things about their adored parent in front of the children, to scold and humiliate him. The younger generation, instead of the expected contempt for a weak man, begins to show pity. The woman is even more jealous of the children.

What can offend him?

Some women throw all their negative emotions, which have nothing to do with their husband, onto him. Thus, the husband becomes the culprit of all her troubles. Often, a man begins to form a sense of guilt. Resentment builds up in his heart. The self-esteem of a man decreases, feelings for the missus gradually fade away. Endless control on the part of the chosen one, providing a scenario for further actions of a man greatly strains him. Regularly received female directives offend the partner.

An attempt by a spouse to change her chosen one does not lead to success. The wife constantly criticizes her husband, calls him names, thereby trying to adjust to her ideal. Gradually, male grievances accumulate. He is no longer able to tolerate the bad attitude of the chosen one. A painful blow inflicted on a man's pride is often an unreasonable refusal of the second half in intimacy. This resentment will not go away on its own. It needs to be worked out. An entry on a piece of paper about a decrease in the frequency of sex, a look at the situation from the outside will help you make the right decision.

A husband can hold a grudge against his wife if she ignores his efforts to raise children, help with the housework, and an excellent attitude towards her parents and relatives. The husband is trying his best, but the other half does not notice, takes his actions for granted. Appreciate your husband, do not forget to express gratitude to the faithful in time - the necessary actions. Different perceptions of the same things by partners widen the gap between spouses.

Accumulated grievances can cause aggression, contribute to the outbreak of quarrels over trifles. Unforgiven grievances can lead to the destruction of a marriage. You don't need to silence them. It's best to work through the problem together. The more grievances accumulate, the more difficult it is to deal with them.

What should a husband do?

Any humiliation and insults on the part of the wife should be stopped immediately. Repeat action is not allowed. After the first case, it is necessary to explain to the woman that negative attacks in his direction are not allowed. The husband will not tolerate them even in the name of love. It is best to immediately notify the woman that repeated humiliation and insults will end in parting. If the wife utters offensive words, humiliates, insults, one should not respond in kind. It is necessary to calm her down, try to find kind words, reconcile with her. In no case should you raise your voice, try to shout it down. It's good when both have a great sense of humor. It is best to translate insults into jokes.

Neglect in front of children is unacceptable, as respect for the father is reduced. The man should always be the head of the family. The spouse himself should never mock his betrothed and endure ridicule on her part. The exception is toxicosis during pregnancy and postpartum depression. The appearance of a baby in the family can affect the behavior of a woman. During this period, it is necessary to treat the young mother reverently, gently and with great care. An affectionate husband will not become an object for insults and humiliation.

No need to compare the obstinate wife with others. She is the same dear and close person, like a child, whom it is impossible to be offended by. At such moments, it is worth treating your soulmate as a small child. Male power will be preserved if it is possible to make the wife feel fragility. The chosen one should feel in reliable male hands.

How to save a marriage?

It is not easy to regain the trust and love of a wife. The imposition of their own conditions, rudeness, abuse, nit-picking have a destructive effect on marital relations. Feelings in such situations weaken. The desire of the wife to be the head of the family, to command her husband often leads to discord and a complete break in relations. It takes a lot of patience to save a marriage.

It is easy to love a tender, flexible soul mate. It is necessary to work hard to surround with care and attention a grumpy and hysterical betrothed. This is a kind of feat. The secret of family happiness lies in caring for each other. Choosing the right response to the wife's accusations is an important factor. In some situations, an apology is sufficient. The regular manifestation of tenderness, attention and love strengthens the marital bond. A woman wants to see a reliable man next to her. Feeling like behind a stone wall, she turns into a meek wife. A friendly discussion of pressing problems leads to family unity. Joint exits to various events, walks strengthen the relationship of the spouses. Visiting various exhibitions, cinemas, museums unite the family. You can captivate your wife with your hobby and make it common.

It is necessary to develop the habit of periodically presenting small gifts to each other, to please the chosen one with pleasant surprises. After all, a woman may simply lack the attention of a restrained husband. We must learn to bring joy to a loved one, to give a good mood.

Not only life unites family ties. The overall family budget will help to avoid reproaches related to the financial insolvency of a man. Withholding money is unacceptable. Reliance on a loved one is a sign of a close-knit family. A woman with a good income should be glad that she has the opportunity to help her loved ones and relatives. Kindness and selflessness contribute to the creation of a strong family.

The value system needs to be changed. The transition from the pursuit of material wealth to the spiritual plane leads to a rich life. It doesn't matter who is the main breadwinner in the family, if only the marital hearth was filled with warmth and love. It is important to make every effort to change the leader in a marital relationship. The wise head of the family is revered by the household, listen to his advice. When a wife tries to restrain her irritation and completely obey her husband, then unanimity is born in the family. The ability to hear each other eliminates all differences.

When entering into marriage, people usually believe that peace and tranquility will always reign in their family. The romantic touch of the courtship period dissipates over time, and discord may begin between the spouses. It can even go as far as insulting, humiliating a woman by a man.

Why does the husband humiliate

The wedding has recently died down, and the young spouses begin their life together. The woman hopes that this particular person next to her will be a support, protection, together with him she will raise well-mannered and smart children, she will be happy. But suddenly, after Mendelssohn's march, the closest person begins to change. He offends his partner, and humiliation can be both moral and physical. She is looking for reasons in herself, trying to become better, but her attempts may not give any positive result.

To figure out how to deal with the problem, you should determine why a man insults a woman in general. The reasons may be different:

• Warm feelings are gone. Love is not eternal. Without it, all the minor flaws of the partner seem to be serious, weighty problems.
• Treason. The man found himself a new object for idealization. The wife is no longer surrounded by that halo of correctness, as before, now the lover has taken the palm. In addition, this may manifest a desire to force a spouse to leave her humiliating husband voluntarily. In this way he will maintain his reputation as a decent man.

• Low male self-esteem. This is how self-affirmation can manifest itself. A husband who means little to others can “take it out” on his wife, who is weak and dependent.
• Loss of interest in a woman as a person. A woman stops taking care of herself: she walks in dirty clothes, does not care about her appearance, does not develop. Often this happens while the lady is on maternity leave. Only now an untidy person nearby will be unpleasant for anyone.
• mirror relationship. If a wife allows herself to humiliate her husband, then politeness will not be expected from him either.
• Humiliation has become a habit. Allowing herself to be humiliated once, a woman gives the offender carte blanche in relation to further similar actions.

Note! If we talk about constant psychological humiliation, insults, depreciation of values, then this is moral violence. It is called briefly by the word abuse. Often they try to designate violence and humiliation in general, including in the physical plane. But this is not true. Abuse - bullying and suppression of the individual is precisely moral, but it often goes along with physical violence.

Problem symptoms

Humiliation in the family is something that does not need to be hidden from your own attention. In this case, it is necessary to understand the details. Such an attitude is one-time or repeated on the part of the husband, whether he humiliates him morally consciously or is this an isolated case. Anyone can offend, but not every attempt to offend is violence. That is why it is important to determine how serious everything is:

1. Humility. If a wife tolerates her husband's antics and tries not to anger him once again, indulges his whims, then she subconsciously has already come to terms with the suppression of her personality.
2. Husband twists reality. He takes words out of context, changes phrases and their meanings in places, and generally keeps silent about unpleasant episodes, as if they did not exist. Everything is aimed at lowering the self-esteem of the victim.
3. Control. The abuser demands a full report: where, with whom, when and why is his companion. Over time, this can escalate into harassment.
4. The insult is presented as a joke. If a partner constantly jokes evilly, is rude, with the purpose of humor some personal qualities of the spouse, then this may be one of the symptoms of abuse.

1. Non-recognition of achievements, ideas and strengths. It's simple: the abuser considers them a force that requires control. Through humiliating remarks, ridicule, depreciation, it reduces this power, gaining complete control over a person.
2. Restrictions. Such a spouse will find a sore point: money, intimacy, communication with children. As punishment, the naughty victim will have their access to this restricted. So he gets an excellent tool of influence.
3. Lack of account with the opinion of the spouse. A husband can drastically change joint plans under any auspices. Over time, this can become the norm, a habit.

How to respond to humiliation

It all starts with the first steps, inveterate abuse - from the first insults. If a husband calls names and humiliates for the first time, according to the advice of a psychologist, nothing terrible has happened yet. You just need to respond correctly: a woman should calmly, clearly make it clear to a man that it is unacceptable to talk to her in such a tone. No matter why it happened, it shouldn't be like that. Neither spouse should humiliate the other, no matter what happens.

Important! Husband and wife are the closest people to each other. There should be no problems that they could not discuss and find a common solution. Perhaps one of them needs to change something in himself, maybe both. One point should alert: if the problem is clear, but the partner does not want to make efforts to solve it.

To the question “what to do if the husband constantly insults and humiliates,” the advice of a psychologist can offer two options for the development of events:

1. Wait until he gets better. Man is the creator of his life. If for some reason a woman wants to stay close to the abuser and wait for his enlightenment, that is her right. Only in this case it is important that she understands that this can take many years. Enlightenment does not come by itself, you have to work on it. Moreover, the work should be only joint.
2. Decide to break. If moral abuse is especially painful, its scale grows, it is not worth waiting for the correction of the abuser. In this case, the best solution would be to save your life.

Attention! In some cases, the separation can be made temporary. Spouses will rest from each other, calmly rethink the situation. This will help you take a sober look at the final decision.

If insulted in front of children

Ideal conditions in a family are when, with a child, mom and dad never quarrel, do not swear, problems are discussed by the world. It doesn't always work out that way.

If a man offends in front of children, and this is the first time, then you need to act in the same way as without them. Firmly and calmly define the boundaries of what is acceptable. In the case of frequent repetition of humiliation, realize that the inveterate abuser will no longer be corrected. He just doesn't want to do it.

How to avoid abuse

Moral violence, like many other things, can be prevented. In some cases, attempts will be unsuccessful, but they can still save some marriages:

1. Discuss the problem together and look for a solution. If there is a conflict, then there is a reason for it. She needs to be eliminated. Therefore, one should not be silent and endure - one must look for a solution that suits everyone.
2. Look closely at your future spouse. People don't change at the snap of their fingers. Someone who is prone to abuse later can be identified before marriage. You should take a closer look at the personal qualities of the chosen one.
3. Look after yourself. It happens that disrespect for oneself as a person results in a similar disrespect on the part of others. Not so much for the sake of her husband, for the sake of herself, a woman should monitor her appearance, speech and development.

How not to behave

In any family spat, there are a number of stop actions. If a woman is humiliated by her husband, dear man, in no case should she resort to the following actions:

• Wait for a miracle. People do not change instantly and by themselves. If you wait and endure, then only coupled with the hard work of changing a partner.
• Change a person without his consent. This will not give any result, the relationship will spoil even more. Only those who agree to change can change.
• Be silent or fawn. You should say that such behavior is unacceptable, express your anger and indignation. Do not curry favor with the offender.
• Insult. One should not be likened to a moral rapist, one should not stoop to his level.

When to leave an abuser

One of the options for dealing with abuse is to end the toxic relationship. It is not easy to make such a decision, but often it is the only right one. For example, when:

• The husband allows himself to humiliate his wife in public, with children;
• The man raises his hand to the woman;

• Abuser is an alcoholic;
• He can only humiliate in private, but this humiliation is too painful and traumatic.

It is impossible to make a clear list of advice on when to break up with the offender, and when not. It all depends on the personal characteristics of the partners. Perhaps the wife will need to consult a psychologist to make a decision.

Is the humiliating revenge worthy

A man after a breakup can insult a woman, why he does this is clear right away. So the ex-husband is still trying to keep her under control, to suppress the personality of the chosen one and subdue him. After receiving a divorce certificate, I want to take revenge on him, to repay him in the same coin. Psychologists advise to be puzzled: why condemn the abuser, immediately becoming like him?

Sinking down to the level of an offender is not something an adult should do. It would be better to let go of such a situation, leaving it in the past forever. In case of persecution by the ex-husband, it is imperative to contact law enforcement agencies.

The decision to stay and endure or leave will not be made for a woman by any consultant or doctor. She is responsible for her life, specialists can only direct, suggest a way to solve the problem. The most important advice that psychology can give is that you need to love yourself first of all, only then - your husband. So don't be afraid to ask for help. Abuse is a serious problem and should not be overlooked.

It happens that a woman is forced to endure moral violence only because she has no one and nowhere to go. There is a way out in this case:

• Phones of anonymous psychological help. They employ professionals who will not judge, but will help with advice.

• Services for victims of violence. Usually in this case we are talking about physical violence, but with severe abuse they will help here. Such services help women get a divorce and get on with their lives after it.
• Centers for mothers with children. Children are often the "leash" on which the wife is kept. The above-mentioned centers provide temporary shelter for mothers with children who find themselves in a hopeless situation. They help them find freedom and survive after receiving it.

Moral humiliation is definitely a negative phenomenon. Its result ranges from resentment and deterioration of relations to real hatred. Meanwhile, this is not the feeling that spouses need. A normal healthy family is built on trust, mutual respect and constructive dialogue, this ideal should be striven for.

Video

It would be just wonderful if marriage always remained a union of two loving people, supporting each other in everything, as it was originally intended. Alas, in reality, everything happens differently, and soon after the honeymoon, spouses often begin to demonstrate qualities that until then had not manifested themselves in any way. Unpleasant qualities. It is especially difficult when a husband, in whom you are already accustomed to seeing your reliable companion and protector from worldly storms, after some time began to insult and humiliate you. Why? From what? And most importantly, what to do with it now? Perhaps it is worth understanding the psychology of such a phenomenon.

Why do the closest people offend us?

Sometimes the difficult nature of the spouse does not appear immediately

At first glance, the situation is extremely simple: if someone offends me, then he does not appreciate me. If he doesn't appreciate it, then he doesn't deserve me. Why stick around and keep wasting precious years? Proudly tossed head, turned shoulders, slamming the door behind your back - goodbye, ungrateful lover; hello, maiden name and active search for new relationships.

Do not hurry. Try to understand the reasons for the changes in the behavior of the spouse. Maybe it's not as bad as it looks?

No reason to despair

There is no doubt that when a loved one offends, it hurts doubly. But it is for him, dear and beloved, that it is easier to forgive an insult. Especially if the husband has any, but the reason for the breakdown.

alarm bells

It is a completely different matter when insults are not caused by fatigue, stress or pressure from the wife, but by selfish reasons.

Oh those exes...

Few people know how to put an end to a love affair easily and beautifully. To do this, you need to be truly a virtuoso of relationships! But sometimes even a romance left far in the past does not prevent the ex-boyfriend from periodically appearing on the horizon and showering you with a new portion of abuse. Why does he do it? What for?

1. Probably, your “ex” cannot arrange his personal life in any way and, instead of spending time with a new girl, spends his energy on compiling another list of claims against you.
2. You almost connected your life with a pathologically vindictive person who does not know how to let go of resentment from himself. Rejoice! In fact, everything is for the best: you took your legs away from him in time.
3. If we are not talking about a simple boyfriend, but about a husband with whom you are connected by children, the situation is more complicated. Here, new misunderstandings, differences in views on upbringing, disputes about alimony are superimposed on a pile of past grievances ... And the most unpleasant thing is that you cannot erase your ex-spouse from life as a bored admirer, cutting off all contacts and changing phone numbers. We'll have to solve the problem in more subtle ways.

As Carlson used to say, calmness, only calmness ... There is always a way out

How to return peace to the family: the psychology of building relationships

What can be done under the circumstances? Much. But what you definitely shouldn’t do is to be silent, endure and humbly let down his wife’s antics. Believe me, even the most decent man, in conditions of permissiveness, sooner or later will not resist the temptation to make an urn out of you, into which he will merge the negative accumulated during the day. Why not? You don't mind, so it's all right.

To prevent this situation, stop rudeness in the bud. After the first insulting remark, say that you will not allow talking to yourself in such a tone, and stop the argument. If the spouse does not stop, go to another room, explaining that you can continue the debate only after he calms down. Do not let yourself be drawn into a showdown, do not respond with an insult to an insult, and if possible try not to react at all to your spouse's remarks. Your task is not to win the competition "who will shout over whom", but to translate the conversation into a peaceful direction.

When the husband calms down, try to call him to a frank conversation. Explain that you are very offended by his words and ask him to formulate his claims in a calm tone. What exactly does not suit the spouse? What does he see as the root of the problem? How to fix the situation? You may be surprised to learn that some things that seemed completely harmless to you are categorically not liked by your loved one. It’s just that until now he, gritting his teeth, endured, because he did not want to melt you. If the husband "splits", you can congratulate yourself on the victory. Now you at least know what the problem is and have every chance of finding a solution that suits both of you.

Sometimes a man himself admits that he flared up from scratch, but the next time he again loses control of himself and brings down a stream of abuse on his wife. In this case, you need to delicately bring the spouse to the idea of ​​a family psychologist. The specialist will tell you the techniques by which your "thunderer" will learn to control himself, and will help to find hidden contradictions between you.

If the spouse gets off with a short “leave me alone” and “everything is in order”, things are worse. But not hopeless. Try to independently analyze the situation and understand what your words or actions cause outbursts of irritation in your husband. Often the answer lies on the surface, you just need to be able to see it.

It is very difficult to overcome the wall that separated the two.

In parallel with trying to reach out to the faithful, work on yourself. Eternal nitpicking has a detrimental effect on the self-esteem of any person, but women suffer doubly from them. Take care of your appearance, celebrate any, even the smallest victories, rejoice in achievements. Don't let your spouse tell you that you're nothing and that you don't deserve better treatment.

If your efforts are more and more like throwing peas at the wall, and the man continues to bend his line of behavior, move on to heavy artillery. Announce that you need to think carefully about the current situation, and leave - to your parents, a friend, to a hotel. Do not forget to clearly state: you still love your husband and dream of saving your family, but you will not live under the pressure of constant ridicule and moral kicks. For a man who really values ​​his soul mate, such a temporary separation will serve as a cold shower - he will understand that he risks losing you forever and will finally make the required effort on himself. True, only those women who are really ready to put an end to an exhausting relationship should dare to take a decisive step. It can easily happen that a spouse who has taken a sip of freedom will let you go on all four sides and hit the spree. But, on the other hand, do you really need a person whom your absence does not upset in the slightest?

If neither requests, nor heart-to-heart talks, nor a temporary “escape” from home have had any effect, seriously think about a real breakup. Well, or reconcile with the role of the eternal doormat under the feet of your spouse and proudly carry your cross further. The choice is yours.

To break or mend a marriage that has cracked at the seams, everyone decides for himself. How to deal with them?

1. If we are talking about a retired gentleman, delete him from your life. Do not answer calls, do not read letters, do not contact. Let yourself run amok, but somewhere far away from you. In some cases, you can change your phone number or go on a long trip - at the same time you will unwind and get the opportunity to start a new relationship.
2. When you meet in a public place, behave calmly and coldly. No matter what the rejected suitor says, no matter how the rejected boyfriend accuses you, be calm as a rock. Ultimately, it will not be you who will be in an unpleasant position, but he - spitting and writing circles around a woman who does not pay the slightest attention to him. For especially unrestrained subjects, there is always the police, where you can write a statement about harassment and threats. Don't forget about it.
3. If the stalker is an ex-husband with whom you still have unresolved legal issues - for example, you share property - only deal with a lawyer. It is better to pay extra to a professional than to destroy the nervous system in endless skirmishes with a boor.

The presence of a third party will protect you from the attacks of the former

Blacklisting the father of your children will not work. But you can try to minimize contact with him. Talk strictly to the point: children, their needs, plans for the holidays. It doesn't hurt to bring a voice recorder to the meeting, defiantly turn it on and put it in your purse: for those who like to give free rein to the language, this often has a sobering effect. By the way, although the article “Insult of honor and dignity” has migrated from the criminal code to the administrative one, no one has canceled it yet, so you are quite capable of delivering serious trouble to a rude person. In addition to the dictaphone recording, it would be nice to attach to the application a recording of a telephone conversation, a printout of SMS messages and testimonies of witnesses. You can even try to deprive an angry dad who bombards you with insults in the presence of children, although we will warn you right away: the former will have to throw out something completely out of the ordinary more than once in order for such a statement to be given a go.

Having unleashed a war with an ex-husband, do not drag children into it - first of all, this will hurt them. Do not allow yourself swear words against their father, do not demand to end the relationship. Just try to explain the situation as delicately as possible and discuss the questions that the guys may have. If you have a good relationship with your children, they will soon figure out for themselves who is right.

Whatever happens between parents, children should not suffer

Swearing "with weights"

It is not easy to live with a person who is not restrained in language, but it is a thousand times more difficult to coexist with someone who at the same time abuses alcohol, demonstrates disdain for his wife with all his behavior, or, which is good, raises his hand to her. It is pointless to expect such a man to change by himself. You will have to act even more decisively and boldly, while there is still an opportunity to correct the situation - it will only get worse, your spouse will beat you constantly, and the fact that she once only called you offensive nicknames will be perceived as flowers.

And don't try to soothe yourself with thoughts in the spirit of "this is the alcohol in it says, I know what it really is." Alcohol doesn't change a person's personality, it just takes the brakes off. If today a husband pours selective abuse on you, being drunk, in a year or two he will do it in a sober state. So do not wait for a miracle that will happen by itself, take fate into your own hands. Demand respect for yourself, try to find understanding with your spouse, and if you see a blank wall in front of you, leave. You don't have 10 lives to just give one of them to a person who doesn't have basic respect for you.

Video: How to behave when a husband screams

Every relationship has its own story. How yours will end, no one can predict. Maybe you and your husband will safely pass the difficult period and meet the golden wedding together. Maybe your spouse will never come to their senses, and you will have to make one of the most difficult, but necessary decisions in your life. In any case, everything that happens next is up to you. How do you do?