There are many versions about first impressions. Is it important, can it be changed? This is discussed in the article.

• The way we evaluate people, our subjective opinion about them, depends on what we ourselves are like. As a rule, we see in people the character traits that we have in ourselves. At the same time, these are usually some negative qualities: envy, anger, laziness, pretense. That is, if a person has, for example, a lot of anger, then he will also consider other people to be evil, cruel, aggressive
• If a person often deceives other people, or dreams of deceiving, then it will seem to him that all the people around him want to “cheat” him in turn. If a person is honest with himself and those around him, then it will not even occur to him that he could be fooled somewhere. This is not a matter of naivety. Very often, such people are not good-natured at all and do not live with rose-colored glasses, but they cannot foresee cases when they are taken advantage of or deceived
• This is because we interpret a person's behavior in relation to our own behavior. In other words, our subconscious (or unconscious) always asks itself: “What would I do?” And we expect from other people the same actions that we could do ourselves.

What criteria are used to evaluate a person first?

People evaluate each other according to the following parameters:

• appearance
• level of education, diplomas, certificates
• mental abilities
• financial condition
• social behavior and social circle
• character (strengths/weaknesses)

This is a short list. It shows the main factors in how a person evaluates a person. Of course, it is now customary to say that appearance is not the most important thing, but it has been scientifically proven that the first impression on a person is made by the appearance of the interlocutor.

Some people first of all pay attention to some individual features. It could be hair, nose shape, shoes, lipstick color, even the shape of eyebrows plays a role. Other people perceive the whole image at once.

• First, in order to understand whether they like a person or not, just a second glance at what is paramount for them (hair, nails, shoes, jacket) is enough. After this, it usually becomes clear to them how further communication will take place, and whether it will happen at all.
• It is much easier for people who can perceive the entire image. For example, a person may have an imperfect nose shape, but have clean, ironed clothes from the latest collection of a fashion designer. Most likely, such a person will make an extremely positive impression.
• There is a small percentage of people who do not have a definite impression until they interact with a person in person. They don’t care what a person looks like, what color his hair is, what he wears. For him, his intellectual abilities or character are important. But for people of this type it is enough to talk with a person for 5 minutes to understand who is in front of him
• A person tends to judge other people based on the opinions of others. Someone said something to someone, and here comes a new opinion. Therefore, it turns out that without knowing a person, we already hate or adore him
• Many people judge a person by their voice. In their opinion, a person’s voice contains his entire life path and character.

Are people judged by their appearance?

• As mentioned above, some people tend to evaluate other people solely by their appearance, without delving into their problems and intellectual capabilities.
• Unfortunately for such people, a person's image can change greatly throughout the day. For example, in the morning a woman walks around the house disheveled, with a mug of coffee and an elongated T-shirt. If a neighbor sees her at this moment, he will consider this woman a slob and will be disgusted with her
• But after an hour, the woman gets herself in order, puts on beautiful shoes, an office suit consisting of a fitted jacket and pencil skirt, puts her hair in a neat hairstyle, and puts on strict makeup. The same neighbor, seeing such a woman, will think that she is a real bitch with a snake-like disposition, cold and calculating
• In the evening, a woman returns from work, puts on a luxurious short dress, loosens her curls, puts on bright makeup and goes to the club. This time the neighbor will think that his neighbor is too vulgar and superficial
• And if, instead of going to a club, a woman goes on a date and puts on a more closed dress, puts her hair in a less voluminous hairstyle, and puts on less bright makeup, then the neighbor will say that she flaunts her wealth to the whole world or is looking for a rich companion, that she is usually sloppy and calculating bitch, and now she's dressed up for the occasion

From this example it is very easy to conclude that a person is judged by his appearance very, very often. However, this hardly has anything to do with the truth.

First impression of a person

• There is an opinion that the first impression of a person is the most correct. But is it so
• From the examples given earlier in the article, it is clear that people do not always judge each other objectively. Therefore, there is no point in being upset if, in the first minute of meeting a person, he didn’t like you.
• A certain part of people can easily change their impression within a few hours, or even days, of meeting

Appearance and first impression

• Don't miss the opportunity to make a good first impression with your appearance. It is clear that each person has his own tastes and preferences. It's basically impossible to please everyone
• Nevertheless, in order to form a good opinion about yourself when you first meet, it is enough to “join” the team if the acquaintance occurs with a group of people at once. It is useful to know what these people are interested in to show them that you are interested in their activities. Your appearance should also correspond to the general style
• If you meet a person 1 on 1, you should not put pressure on him and show your “I”. Yes, even your appearance can scream, “Look at me! I’m in charge here!” There's nothing better than naturalness

A man's first impression

Making a positive first impression on a man is quite easy, despite public opinion.

First of all, men pay attention to:

1. figure, especially in the “back view”
2. manner of communication
3. posture
4. hair
5. nails. Very long or dirty nails turn men off
6. clothes

To make a good impression on a man, you don’t have to jump around him for hours. It is enough to be direct and natural in communicating with him. Don't be vulgar or too rude. For men, it is useful to forgive help in some situations, even if you don’t really need it. But you shouldn’t ask them to calculate the cost of products for you, for example. You'll make yourself look stupid.

Many men do not like very bright colors in clothes and makeup. This causes corresponding associations for them. But the vast majority of men like grooming and femininity.

Changing a man's first impression of himself is very difficult. Unlike women, men are more logical and consistent. But they cannot think as flexibly as a woman. Therefore, it is very difficult for them to change their first impression.

How to create a positive first impression?

There are certain rules that will help you leave a good impression of yourself after almost every acquaintance:

In fact, you can change your impression of yourself. But this will already be the second, third or fourth impression. But the first impression leaves a mark on all further communication. Especially in its early stages.

Of course, people tend to change, but when hiring, the employer will judge you at a given moment in time, he doesn’t care much about what you will be like in 5 or 10 years. He chooses an employee now, which means he judges you in the present tense. Therefore, it is always important to look good, because there is no second chance to make a first impression.

First impression mistakes

It's worth remembering that what we see depends on how we look. It’s worth looking at a person a little differently, and from an arrogant, arrogant type, he turns into a sweet, smiling young man, always ready to help.

Due to a lack of life experience or knowledge, a person very often judges incorrectly. The article previously gave an example with a neighbor and a girl. Such a neighbor is precisely an example of a narrow-minded and petty person. Of course, you shouldn’t rely on the opinions of such people. If you recognize yourself in your neighbor’s face, immediately change your views on the world. First of all, evaluate your mistakes.

First impressions are deceiving

The first impression is deceiving for people who are accustomed to not changing their opinion about people. Those who have a flexible mind are able to evaluate a person correctly and see him for who he really is.

You can dress however you like. Dye your hair any color. The person will not change because of this. He won't become dumber or smarter. But the opinion about him with each of his transformations will change in the diametrically opposite direction.

Video: How to make the right first impression

What questions will you find answers to in this article?

• Why listen to the news and read magazines before a meeting?
• and don’t alienate your interlocutor
• Rules for Effective Communication
• How Spotlight and Active Listening Techniques Can Help You Make a Lasting Impression

To succeed, you need to be able to negotiate with other people; this requires not only to pronounce words smoothly, but also to turn communication into pleasure. I have observed many times how people did not follow basic rules in conversation and lost valuable contacts because of this (see also How not to alienate your interlocutor). Studying situations, I formulated rules for effective communication that will help you find out how to make a good impression, and your interlocutors will feel comfortable in your company.

: 7 rules for effective communication

Rule 1.Think over the talking points

If you are about to meet a person for the first time, find out as much as possible about him (age, financial situation, interests). Use pages on social networks that are very informative. If they are not there, then there will be important links about professional activities. Any information will help to start an informal conversation.

Let me give you an example from practice. We were preparing a serious meeting between the two leaders. One of the interlocutors learned that in his youth he was fond of the sea. We used this in small things: we put the prepared documents in a folder with a marine theme, and placed anchors. Thus, important files did not go unnoticed: the person paid attention to them, simply subconsciously reaching for a pleasant thing.

Rule 2. Position yourself correctly relative to your interlocutor

Keep your distance. In our culture, it is not customary to be too close to your partner when talking. Determine a comfortable distance. Research recommends 60 cm (arm's length). In the rules of etiquette, this distance is defined as personal space. If you are too close, the person will feel discomfort and, not understanding what is going on, will decide that he does not like you. It is better for a woman and a man to sit away from each other: a small distance can be perceived as flirting.

Position your chair at an angle to the other person's chair. You should not sit directly opposite a person, otherwise subconscious mechanisms may work that trigger manifestations of aggression. Move a few centimeters to the side, and the reasons for unpleasant emotions will disappear. I was approached by a man who had a serious conversation with his boss about dismissal. I advised him to change his usual position relative to each other: move the chair to the side so as not to sit opposite the boss, change his position a little. The conversation passed peacefully - the dismissal did not take place.

Sit with your back to the wall to maintain confidence. To make your partner feel comfortable, also invite him to sit with his back to the wall. If your plans are to unsettle your interlocutor, try to ensure that his back is to the door.

Rule 3.Start a conversation with abstract topics


One of my clients found himself in a difficult situation during negotiations in Lithuania: from the first minutes he started talking about business, and the conversation soon ended - the partner refused to communicate. It turned out that in this country it is customary to talk about abstract topics before a business conversation. I often noticed this in Russia: if one of the interlocutors immediately moves on to business issues, his partners become tense, and this inevitably turns them against him.

Discuss neutral topics before getting to the point. For example, if you know that your counterpart has a dog, ask about him; if you know that his child is going to university, ask a careful question on this topic.

Rule 4.To make a lasting impression, btalk more about your interlocutor than about yourself


Most people tend to talk mostly about themselves: how well things are going for them, about their family. But the secret of successful communication is to talk more about the interlocutor. Show interest - ask open-ended questions that do not require one-word answers, for example: “How do you spend most of your free time?” The results will not be long in coming: people will be more willing to talk about themselves, and you will be considered an interesting and attentive interlocutor.

You can use the “spotlight” technique proposed by Leila Launders, an American expert in the field of communication psychology. When talking with a person, imagine that a large spotlight is shining from above: when you speak, the rays are directed at you. The longer the spotlight shines in the opposite direction from you, the more interesting you will be to your interlocutor. Leila Launders gives the following example: “Several years ago, my friend and I went to a party where the “cream of society” gathered. Everyone we spoke to turned out to be a bright and extraordinary person. When, in between conversations with other people, we shared our impressions, I asked my friend: “Diana, which of all these people present at the evening did you enjoy talking to the most?” Without hesitation, she replied, “Oh, of course, with Dan Smith!” “Who is he and what does he do?” – I asked. “Well, I don’t know for sure...” the friend answered. "Where is he from?" “I don’t know,” Diana replied. - “Well, what are his interests in life?” - “You see, we didn’t talk about his hobbies.” “Diana,” I asked. “What were you talking about?” - “It seems to me that we mostly talked about me” 1.

1 Leila Launders. How to talk to anyone, about anything. M.: Good book, 200 2. – Note. editors.

Rule 5.Practice active listening skills


In addition to the spotlight technique, using the active listening approach is a simple technique that helps the other person reveal more information. It involves actively expressing your own experiences. I will list some techniques.

Nod in agreement. This is how you express approval and invite your interlocutor to continue.

Use complementary words: “I understand”, “really”, “very interesting”, “good”, etc. The person needs to realize that you are not just listening to him, but are on the same wavelength with him.

Ask clarifying questions, for example: “What did you do in this situation? How did it all end? In this way, you help your partner open up and encourage you to continue the conversation.

From experience, I can say that if one of the interlocutors is good at active listening skills, the other does not even notice how quickly time flies.

• Planning your time: step-by-step instructions from a time management guru

Rule 6.Give compliments

Many people make the same mistakes: they make banal compliments or say them very quickly, as if casually. This devalues ​​the compliment and it loses the necessary energy. Find something in your interlocutor that you can note and tell him about it. A man really appreciates it when he is told that he has a strong handshake. If we are talking about a business partner - a woman, then a high assessment of her business qualities is accepted with much more gratitude than compliments regarding her external merits.

It is important to remember that when complimenting you should leave personal topics out of the equation. Better evaluate the furnishings of the office, the design of business cards, note the competence of the partner’s employees - everything that you paid attention to. Let me give you an example from practice. I attended a meeting between two leaders - a man and a woman I knew. They tried to agree on holding a joint event. The woman had a heavy build and on the eve of the meeting had a manicure, which, in her opinion, very poorly emphasized the thickness of her arms. The director of the company where we came, on the contrary, noted how beautiful the manicure looked. When the meeting ended, my friend talked for a long time about how unpleasant it was for her to hear about the color of her nails. She regarded the compliment as low flattery, which completely turned her against this man. The deal did not go through.

How to make a lasting impression and get rid of controversy

1. Find two or three helpers. These should be people who know you well and whose judgment you trust. Offer them a ready-made list of negative qualities (harsh, arrogant, stubborn, petty...) and ask them to mark those that, in their opinion, are inherent in you. Be patient: this can be unpleasant.
2. Never argue with your helpers or try to turn their words against them. But you can clarify: “And often I behave... (harsh, stubborn, petty, etc.)?”
3. With your answers in hand, start tracking your relationships with other people over the course of a few weeks. Identify and record in your behavior the irritating signs that your friends have pointed out.
4. If you learn to notice shortcomings, you can get rid of them by developing more constructive patterns of behavior (for example, reduce your assertiveness in negotiations if it is perceived by people as harshness, and replace it with active listening).
5. After two to three months, you will find that it has become much easier for you to establish contact with people.

Prepared from the book “I Hear Right Through You” by Mark Goulston


Every person knows how important it is to be able to make a first impression. This is especially true in relation to the professional environment, because based on the opinion that has formed about a person, the tone of the meeting is set, the course of the interview, or potential business relationships are born. That is why business people need to have complete confidence that the impression of them always remains positive.

So, you probably already know how to give a presentation and have already been exposed to a million ways of doing things. Now you need to have a clear idea of ​​how to impress people. Our publication today will help you with this.

Keep your back straight

If you keep your back slouched while sitting in a chair, business partners may recognize signs of laziness, weakness, or unselfishness in you. Remember that it is necessary to sit during negotiations with a perfectly straight back. This also applies to the standing position. Always watch your shoulders and chin. Even if the person you are dating does not attach importance to non-verbal signals, your posture will already form the desired opinion in your partner. On a subconscious level, others perceive a person with a straight back and slightly raised head as a strong person.

Eye contact

We all know that people who try their best to avoid eye contact are nervous or insecure. However, even introverted people can easily establish eye contact with a partner. After all, for this it is not at all necessary to stare at your interlocutor with a manic expression in your eyes. There is no need for diligence here; 3-5 seconds of a calm, confident and open look is enough.

Smile

Yes, indeed, a smile can be contagious. Have you noticed how strangers, in response to your radiant smile, never remain gloomy. That is why we advise you to take care of the condition of your teeth and use this irresistible technique at every opportunity. Smiling shows the partner on the other side of the negotiation that you are friendly and that you like him. Know that even after the meeting is over, your pleasant facial expression will remind others that you are a good person. Use this technique also when making acquaintances in an informal setting. A smile is what will help the person you are talking to feel maximum comfort and warmth.

Don't overdo it with interjections

Even if the person who communicates with you does not initially focus on the nuances of your speech, you should still not often use interjections in phrases. Constant “hmm...” and “uh...” on a subconscious level contribute to the formation of a negative impression of you. People will think that you are narrow-minded, insufficiently experienced, not interesting, or do not know how to negotiate. If you can't control this habit, try speaking at a slower pace. This way you can formulate each word in advance and make a positive impression.

Be the first to contact

If you make contact easily, you demonstrate self-confidence, ease and easy-going behavior. By taking the first step, you show excellent spirits and your own sense of comfort in this particular environment. Follow this rule, and basic small talk can easily transform into a real business partnership.

Conclusion

Always try to make the right first impression, even if you are not in business negotiations. After all, if other people are not currently interested in your services, who knows how things will turn out in the future? Therefore, whenever possible, try to follow our advice, and then knowing the secrets of communication will become a useful and productive habit for you.

Make an impression to make/make an impression Book More often 3 l. present, future vr. or past vr. To cause, to generate a strong feeling in someone, to influence someone. With noun with value faces or distractions subject: writer, artist, speech, performance... produces what? huge, good, unforgettable... impression; impress whom? on the spectators, on those present, on the audience...; make an impression with what? originality, architecture...

How often the most insignificant things make a greater impression on people than the most important ones. (I. Turgenev.)

This music [Mozart's Don Giovanni] was the first music that made a tremendous impression on me. (P. Tchaikovsky.)

Do as you wish, but I’m telling you that this man makes a repulsive impression on me. (M. Bulgakov.)

Educational phraseological dictionary. - M.: AST. E. A. Bystrova, A. P. Okuneva, N. M. Shansky. 1997 .

See what “make an impression” is in other dictionaries:

make an impression- scratch, shake, hit, have an effect, have an effect, do your job, do your thing, turn over, act, surprise, defeat, stun, stun, how to strike with thunder, how to strike with thunder, make a strong impression, make... ... Dictionary of synonyms

trying to impress- adj., number of synonyms: 4 seducing (23) trying to make you fall in love with yourself (4) ... Dictionary of synonyms

produce- impression to produce an action to produce a favorable impression an action to make a great impression an action to produce an impression an action to produce state registration an action to produce a replacement action... ...

PRODUCE- PRODUCE, PRODUCE The semantic changes in the use of the verb to produce are deep and varied. In the “Dictionary of the Russian Academy” of 1822, only four meanings of this word are noted and two of them are officially business ones: 1) to increase in ... ... History of words

impression- the impression arises existence / creation, subject, beginning the impression arises existence / creation, subject, beginning impression leave action impression remains existence / creation, subject, continuation impression... ... Verbal compatibility of non-objective names

PRODUCE- PRODUCE, I will produce, you will produce, past. vr. produced, produced; produced, sovereign (to produce). 1. what. Commit, do, accomplish. Carry out an experiment. Perform the calculation. Make repairs. Carry out excavations. Make an arrest... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

IMPRESSION- IMPRESSION, impressions, cf. 1. An image, reflection, trace left in a person’s mind by surrounding objects, persons, events. Childhood impressions. Travel impressions. Seek new experiences. Eyewitness impressions. This impression is not... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

PRODUCE- PRODUCE, food, food; ate, ate; eating; eaten (yon, ena); eating; Sovereign 1. what. Do, execute, arrange. P. products. P. reconstruction. P. repair. 2. what. To cause, to carry out (what is called the following noun). P.... ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

IMPRESSION- IMPRESSION, I, Wed. 1. A trace left in the consciousness, in the soul than n. experienced, perceived. Childhood impressions. Road impressions. 2. Influence, impact. Be impressed by the conversation. 3. Opinion, assessment formed after meeting... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

produce- I’m leading, you’re leading; produced, led, lo; produced; produced; deno, dena, deno; St. 1. what. To do, to accomplish; spend. P. shot. P. calculation. P. repair. P. search. P. calculation of whom l. 2. what. Create material goods, release, manufacture... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary

Books

• First impression: do you know how others perceive you? Buy for 430 UAH (Ukraine only)
• First impression. Do you know how others perceive you? , Anne Desmarais, Valerie White. There is a saying: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. A lot depends on how your new acquaintances perceive you, and first of all, their desire...