Hello. Please tell me what to do. I am 40 years old. Man. Married. Physically I feel good. Nothing hurts or bothers me. The problem is this. I have been in a depressed state for a very long time. I don't even know how to describe it. Complete loss of meaning in life. No interest, no joy in life. I don't enjoy anything. Everything is through strength. Waking up in the morning the immediate question is – why?! Why get up, why go to work, why do anything at all?! Everything is on autopilot. I work, live, do things through strength. Just because it's necessary. Nothing brings satisfaction, peace, or joy. I haven’t known what these words mean for a long time now. I just forgot how to experience and feel it. The only question in my head is why. I can’t rest, relax, get even the slightest pleasure or joy from life. I do everything through great effort. In life, everything is normal in material terms. Expanded the living space, made good repairs, profitable work. But nothing makes me happy; on the contrary, it depresses me. People buying a new apartment is a joy, an event! For me, it's the opposite. So what is the apartment - why do I need it? Doing repairs, fussing - why? I bought a new car, so what?! Again the question is - why?! There is no answer. It's not clear. All life's actions are through hellish efforts on oneself, only thanks to responsibility towards oneself and family. I avoid family holidays, meetings, etc. Communication with people is very stressful - you need to say something, smile, but why?! My head starts to hurt after five minutes of talking with anyone. I avoid contact with people at all costs. More or less, I feel comfortable only in complete solitude. If the phone rings, then 80% of the time I won’t answer, although I should – there are a lot of calls for work, but I can’t do anything. If the doorbell rings and I’m home alone, I won’t answer it 100% of the time. I don't understand why I do this. I also foresee problems at work, but so far I have managed to avoid them only through willpower. At work, you need to communicate with people - with subordinates, with clients. But little by little I try to avoid communication. I’m trying to postpone and cancel scheduled meetings, although I understand that I still need to meet and do things, but I can’t help it. The loss of self-esteem is progressing, he has become unsure of himself and suspicious. A constant feeling of impending disaster and trouble, although there are no prerequisites for this. Small problems are blown up into catastrophe proportions. So far everything is fine in the family outwardly. I smile, I listen, I do. And I myself think – why?! I don't understand. My wife says something, says something - I listen, smile, but often I lose the thread of the conversation and her voice gives me a headache. Laughter just kills me. Pain explodes in his head. It's like it's cutting. I just can’t stand him, but I smile back. Photophobia. If it is possible not to turn on the light, then I don’t turn it on until the last minute. I can't stand the sun. Half an hour in the bright sun and I’m squeezed like a lemon, just to the point of hatred. The house is twilight, fortunately my wife tolerates it calmly. I just don’t know what to do. But I feel that all this is progressing. You won't last long on freedom alone. And I’ve been dragging this out for several years now. Help with advice. Who should I contact? So what should I do?

There can hardly be anything worse than depression. Depressed mood, loss of vitality, hopeless pessimism, lack of desire to do anything and show at least some interest in existence... This and much more accompanies this mental disorder. When a person is immersed in such a state of mind, he becomes helpless, indifferent and “empty”. Some people manage to cope with this alone, while others do not. But in any case, you need to know how to overcome depression and depression.

First stage

When depression first begins, a person refuses to recognize this fact. He believes that he is simply not in the mood, due to fatigue at work or school, or weather changes. At the first stage, the initial symptoms are accompanied by pronounced apathy, increased fatigue and lack of desire to do anything. Lack of appetite, problems falling asleep, as well as irritability and nervousness are often observed. Despite fatigue, a person cannot fall asleep, even if he takes sleeping pills.

In addition, there is a deterioration in concentration, decreased performance, and loss of interest in previous hobbies and interests. A mountain of tasks that previously managed to be resolved long before the deadline begins to accumulate. It becomes increasingly difficult to finish what you start. And this is not just a depressed mood and a lethargic state. This is how the initial stage of depression manifests itself, which subsequently develops more and more intensely.

Deterioration of condition

If a person has ignored how his mood and overall routine changes, a restructuring of the body begins. The production of serotonin, which is commonly called the hormone of happiness, stops. He does not eat at all, or consumes some minimum in order to “clog” his stomach. Immunity decreases, and chronic diseases worsen. The body fights “with itself,” but it fails.

Prolonged insomnia sets in. A person ceases to think adequately and logically; he does not control his behavior and emotions. It’s as if he finds himself in another world, where everything is indifferent to him. To outsiders, it seems strange, and as if divorced from the real world. In especially severe cases, his condition is accompanied by auditory and visual hallucinations. It is at this stage, conventionally designated the second, that more than 80% of attempts to commit suicide occur. In the best cases, such people simply “close themselves” in themselves, locking themselves away where no one will touch them, and immerse themselves in philosophizing.

Losing the meaning of life

This is the last stage of depression. A person not only has no mood - he lacks the desire to live. His body still retains vital functions, but now works in autonomous mode. But pathological processes begin to occur in the mental sphere.

At best, a person will remain indifferent and detached from the world. And in the worst case, animal aggression will awaken in him. Such people are capable of harming themselves and others. Because they stop perceiving this world as something valuable, and stop identifying themselves with a Man, with a Personality. Consequences also include memory loss, schizophrenia, and depressive psychosis. This is what a long-term depressed mood transforms into. That’s why it’s so important to catch yourself at the first stage, and either seek help or get on your feet on your own.

Why does the blues occur?

Depression, depression and despondency always have prerequisites. Sometimes they are even combined into a complex. The cause may be a lack of vitamin D and sun exposure.

Even according to statistics, depression develops most often in the fall, when daylight hours are reduced. There is less sun, which is what stimulates the body’s production of vital vitamin D.

Health problems also often affect a person’s psychosomatic state. Depressed mood is observed during pregnancy, menopause, problems with the thyroid gland, etc.

Often the prerequisite is overwork or exhaustion of the body. Constant work, a busy schedule, eternal preoccupation with problems - it is logical that the body begins to mope. But such cases are treated extremely simply. You just need to take a vacation and let yourself relax.

And the last popular reason is lack of physical activity. If it is not there, then endorphin stops being produced. But it is precisely this hormone that is the hormone of joy. By adding a run or a couple of hours in the gym to your regimen for a week, you can notice how much your condition improves. Both physical and psychosomatic.

What to do?

First of all, don’t give up and don’t give up. If this is the first stage, then everything can really be fixed. The main thing is to act immediately.

If a person begins to notice a bad mood in the morning, which only gets worse during the day, it is necessary to bring more movement into your life. Physical work brings satisfaction. Even cleaning the house will help organize your feelings and thoughts. But lying on the sofa only worsens the condition.

You also need to start constantly pleasing yourself with your favorite things. It can be anything - shopping, get-togethers with friends, ordering a whole mountain of delicious food at home, going on vacation, dancing, drawing, swinging. You just need to forget about all your worries, your age and responsibilities, and do what you want.

Relaxation is also important. A foamy hot bath, aromatherapy, soothing music, and then delicious coffee and reading an interesting book, sitting in a soft chair under a blanket - sounds like an introvert's paradise. If a person is overtaken by the blues, then silence and such utopian comfort will help him rest and relax a little.

Finding a way out

Of course, there are people who will not leave the blues, depression and despondency only after signing up for the gym and a couple of days off. In more severe cases, you need to act more radically.

A change of environment can help. When a person is depressed, the same ceiling and walls that appear before one’s eyes in the morning, day after day, are incredibly depressing. You need to get away, and preferably closer to nature. She heals. The sounds of falling water, a babbling stream, birdsong, rustling leaves, rustling grass - this has a therapeutic effect and helps reduce the level of stress hormones, as well as normalize blood pressure. This atmosphere is healing. A person who is under arrest in a noisy concrete jungle simply needs it.

In addition, one cannot fail to mention the qualitative difference between fresh natural air and the stale air that reigns indoors. Whatever one may say, in most cities it is spoiled by gases and harmful emissions. And even airing won't help. It's either forest or sea air.

And, of course, bioenergy. The city “presses” on all people and devastates them. What is it like to be in the center of the bustle for a depressed person who is overcome by depression? You can feel pure bioenergy only by coming into contact with nature. Watch the sunset, lie on the grass, walk barefoot on the sand, swim in a crystal clear pond... they say you can get rid of static electricity. Be that as it may, in the bosom of nature a person quite quickly emerges from a state of despondency and begins to feel the taste of life again.

Specialist help

Sometimes it is necessary. A constantly bad mood due to all of the above is one thing. But in reality, much more serious cases are known. Those in which you really can’t do without antidepressants, therapy and conversations with a doctor.

This refers to a psychological disorder provoked by something that destroyed a person’s life in an instant. It could be anything. Death of a loved one. Loss of all accumulated wealth. Betrayal or betrayal. The destruction of all plans, hopes and dreams without exception. Sudden changes. At such moments, you can really understand a person who loses the desire to exist in this world. Because the very purpose of his life, the reason for which he woke up in the morning, leaves his life. A man loses himself. And this is something that even an enemy would not want to wish upon.

Treatment

It starts with psychotherapy. To which a person suffering from depression and a chronically depressed state comes with difficulty. People resist for various reasons. Most often, because they consider going to a psychotherapist to be “on the edge,” or they don’t want to be considered crazy, or they “dig” into their head. In such cases, the support of loved ones and motivation on their part is very important. It is extremely rare for people to go to a psychotherapist themselves. Most often, their relatives convince them, and in especially difficult cases, they even organize sessions by force.

Psychotherapy involves a therapeutic effect through the psyche on the human body. The doctor helps the patient get rid of social, individual and emotional problems, first establishing deep personal contact with him through conversation. Often accompanied by cognitive, behavioral and other techniques.

Medication assistance

Medicines are also prescribed. Depressed mood, the causes of which are also determined by a doctor, is treated with antidepressants.

These are psychotropic medications that normalize the levels of neurotransmitters (such as dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin). After taking them, a person’s mood and appetite improve, melancholy, anxiety, insomnia and apathy disappear, and mental activity increases. And he is on the mend.

Release of emotions

A person who is constantly in a bad mood rarely wants to communicate with anyone. More often he is overcome by the desire to close himself off from the outside world and worry. The main thing is that no one gets into your soul. Many people feel that they cannot be understood. Someone is afraid of selfishness - to open their soul, and in return receive spit.

Well, this often actually happens. But the release of emotions is necessary. The methods by which this can be accomplished are extremely simple. Someone is trying to find sympathy on the Internet, under the guise of an anonymous person. Others take a notepad and begin to pour out their experiences on the sheets. And this makes it easier. This is better than texting with someone. There is no need to formulate words - it is enough to express what reigns in your head and soul. Often, in the process of keeping such a unique diary, good, correct thoughts come. Sometimes you manage to find out the exact reason for your problem or an idea is born on its own about how to deal with it.

Set goals and go towards them

Here's how you can “drive away” a depressed mood. What should a person do if depression has completely consumed him? You need to push off from the bottom. No matter how difficult it may be. All psychologists recommend this method. You need to set some goal for yourself. It may be insignificant. A person locked at home, for example, needs to force himself to go outside for at least 15 minutes every day. This is real. When choosing a goal, you need to focus on your own resources. After its implementation, you definitely need to reward yourself, at least with praise for a new achievement.

It is also recommended to find fellow sufferers - those who also suffer from depression. If relatives and friends do not understand a person, then such people will definitely be able to find support. After all, they know what he is experiencing. Meeting “kindred spirits” will help reduce the feeling of isolation, find understanding and even advice.

Finding Joy

Finally, I would like to highlight one more effective recommendation. Many experts advise people suffering from depression to find new meaning in life. Something you want to wake up for. The best option is to have a pet.

Even medicine confirms the importance of animals in restoring a person’s well-being and emotional state. There are official statistics confirming that people who have a pet are 30% less likely to seek medical help. Animals are great companions and bring joy.

In addition, by starting to take care of a pretty living creature, a person will increase the energy of compassion and feel spiritual warmth. After all, there is so much unconditional love in animals that it simply cannot help but be transmitted.

Autumn is a cruel and hateful time. However, we like it. All these endless showers and temperature changes are good for the male body, and if not, then there are always wheels that will help you overcome any disease. Any kind, except the spiritual one. But this time of year is famous for the abundance of all kinds of “depression” that falls on your head. There are days in our week when any little thing can destroy a positive attitude. If you like to knock back a couple of dozen glasses of high-proof, dubious swill, then you are probably aware that, in addition to purely physical ailment, total moral suppression will await you the next morning. And how to deal with it?

First, let’s define for ourselves that depression and depression are two different conditions. If depression can be called systematic and permanent, then depression has a fleeting essence. It occurs quite often from alcohol, because alcohol, as you probably know, is quite a strong depressant. It is better to treat depression more thoughtfully and more seriously, otherwise there would be no need for such dudes as psychologists. But to remove the effect of suppression, you don’t need much; you don’t even need to delve into the causes and effects. None of this matters. You could be upset because of an ordinary squabble on the road or a mind-blowing attack from your new friend, or maybe you were shortchanged in a store or the mobile operator called you at the wrong time. You yourself know why you can become depressed, so let’s not invent something new. And we won’t advise you something like: “Face your problem face to face!”, “Overcome it!”, “Stop whining!” After all, not only does this not help, but such advice is often a complete vacuum.

Yes, a man should be able to cope with his problems, but some things are not as simple as they seem, and sometimes it is better to solve them in roundabout ways, to somehow dampen their negative effect. The problem may not go away, but in the meantime it will become much easier to solve. Tested on myself and my friends.

1. Do that work you've always been putting off

In general, this is probably the best state when you can meekly and conscientiously take care of everyday affairs. For example, washing dishes, cleaning, cleaning the hood, or wiping the folds of your mutant dog. On another day, all this would have been done reluctantly, even nauseatingly. Now you need to distract yourself from negative thoughts. And what will contribute to this better than dull and monotonous physical work? This is a fairly simple activity, and you can easily convince yourself that it is wildly useful. While doing everyday things, you can easily limit the activity of your thought process to zero, you can stop thinking altogether. And this will give you the opportunity to quickly restore your psychological strength.

2. Watch something unbearably stupid

TV is your friend when you feel mentally ill. An excellent moment to turn on some hellish show that you just recently spat on. You can look, for example, at some, or, or racing. The main thing is that you don’t have to think while watching. That's not necessary at all. Imagine that you haven’t even finished two classes, feel like a redneck who had part of his brain shot in Vietnam. As a rule, at such moments you can get some kind of revelation about the importance of certain things. Life will seem simple enough to you not to worry about it.

3. Watch something incredibly smart

Let's do the opposite. Have you ever been surprised that the most notorious alcoholics for some reason love to watch programs about animals and their life in the savannah? So you go into the house of one such person, and he sits and watches as a crowd of lions tears some unlucky zebra to pieces. And you know, this method really works. Although we prefer something more futuristic. When you are depressed, you noticeably become dumber. Thoughts cannot gather into something structured and understandable. Therefore, we need to find the source of all this somewhere on the side. Why would you do this? Because smart men who tell you about atoms and black holes are very good at steering you away from your useless problems. And again, you need to abstract yourself from the reasons for your despondency.

4. Comics

Advice from friend BroDude. When sadness hits you, it's time to read comics. Just choose them wisely. No need for complicated ones ala Alan Moore. Of course, they are all cool, but it’s better to find something simpler. In general, simplicity is your best friend in the fight against depression. Also, try to read something non-cynical, where there will be less evil and dirt. Look to classics like Garfield. This comic has been published almost every day since '78, and the jokes haven't changed at all in that time. It’s damn unusual and nice that there is something so reliable in the world. So many wars have passed since then, but this red cat still eats his lasagna and spreads rot on his owner.

5. Go to a fast food joint

It doesn't matter which one. You can choose any local fast food restaurant, which is full of diverse people. Order yourself a burger, a chemical soda there, and watch the people. Besides the fact that unhealthy food always lifts a man’s mood, purposeful observation of the characters in a burger shop will tell you a lot of new and useful things. You begin to feel like you are part of this entire society. The crowd, which on ordinary days can only have a depressing effect on you, suddenly helps you get rid of psychological troubles. You leave such places noticeably refreshed.

Many people know firsthand what a depressed state is and how depressing it is. To get out of it, you need to understand why it arose. Only by eliminating the factors that cause it will you be able to enjoy life again.

What is depression?

When a person loses interest in the world around him, feels a loss of strength, and loses mental balance, we can say that he is “captured” by a depressed state. He doesn’t want to go to work, meet friends, he’s not interested in anything, and stressful situations unsettle him.

This apathy occurs due to certain reasons:

Some people do not admit their problems for a long time, and therefore do not solve them. Over time, internal discomfort and a depressive state increases, and it is much more difficult to get rid of it. A person begins to “eat” his anxiety or drown it out with other bad habits. But they bring temporary relief, so it is important to recognize the problem and find the “root of evil”.

What is the danger of such a condition?

When the emotional burden becomes too much to bear, it creates hopelessness. This blocks a person's activity and leads to apathy and depression. He “drowns” in his inaction and life ceases to please him. This is dangerous for a depressed and depressed mental state.

When a person lives by inertia, without setting goals for himself, he is unlikely to achieve any results. He stops dreaming, he doesn’t need anything, he becomes indifferent to what previously caused sincere joy.

This leads to severe, prolonged depression that a person cannot cope with on his own.

Dropping the load

This is where all the problems begin. When the burden of unresolved issues becomes unbearable, it is necessary to get rid of it. A swarm of gloomy thoughts leads to anxiety and uncertainty, and provokes emotional distress.

We believe in good things!

A pessimistic outlook, as a rule, appears due to the fact that a person concentrates too much on something bad, losing sight of all the good things that happen to him.

Imaginary anxiety can bother a person even more than real anxiety, because he overwhelms himself and cherishes his experiences.

When there are many such forecasts, this condition arises over time. A person does not look for ways to solve problems and justifies himself by saying that nothing will work out anyway. He shifts responsibility for his life to others or fate, blaming random coincidences for all adversity.

I wished, wanted, strived, but did not achieve - state of frustration, I can't achieve the goal - problem - depressed depressed state

When a person does not achieve any goal, even the smallest one, he develops a depressed, depressed, decadent psychological state - frustration.

Greetings, dear readers of the blog of psychoanalyst Oleg Matveev, I wish you mental health.
Category: Self-help

Depressed depressed and depressed state of frustration due to unachieved goals

Every day people set some goals or objectives for themselves, but they are not always able to achieve or implement them. The reason for this may be various obstacles that arise on the way to achieving the goal - there is no resource state.

Depending on the significance of the goal being achieved for a person, his attitude towards it and the obstacles themselves, many people experience state of frustration, i.e. mental experiences of various types in connection with an unattained goal - depression, depression, loss of strength (see negative human emotions - overcoming discharge)

Based on the psychophysiology of a person, his temperament, character and other personality traits, as well as the frequency of states of depression, decline, depression - frustration, there is a danger of the appearance of neuroses.

To avoid this, it is necessary to actively use various methods and techniques for overcoming and preventing suppressed, depressed states of frustration when the goal is not achieved.

State of frustration - depression, depression, decline

If the goal is not achieved and a psychologically oppressed, depressed state (frustration) occurs, the individual’s psychological defense mechanisms are activated. Each person’s defenses are different, depending on their temperament and character accentuation.

To overcome frustration and associated states of depression (depression, stress, anger, irritation, emotional excitement, etc.), it is necessary to overcome psychological defense.