Treason... just one word, but what it means, women can lose control over themselves, peace of mind, faith in humanity and the meaning of life. Of course, after all, the person to whom they entrusted themselves betrayed... And it seems that the old world collapsed, and there was nothing to believe in. But no matter how sharply the fairer sex reacts to male betrayal, they are not immune to their own - when she herself betrayed (or is this not considered betrayal?) a man, although she thought that you could never commit such an act.

Female infidelity, in fact, alas, is not such a rare phenomenon, it’s just that against the backdrop of male infidelity that has already become commonplace, there is not much talk about it. One thing is clear - the attitude towards female infidelity is radically different from the perception of male infidelity. When a representative of the fair sex is caught in treason, she is immediately “written off” as having done something not only unworthy and unacceptable, but also undeserving of forgiveness.

The woman herself, as a rule, experiences compassion and pity for her man, a feeling of guilt in front of him, and regret for what she has done. After all, if betrayal was the beginning of another era in life, then it’s clear, but what if you don’t want to lose your previous relationship? Will it be possible to save them after the betrayal? Even if the betrayal is forgiven, inside there will be a constant awareness of one’s own “fall from sin” and this will interfere with normal life.

What to do? Cheating is always a search for a way out of some imprisoned emotions and an internal unresolved conflict. Except for those cases where a woman lacks basic concepts of morality and fidelity (we will not consider these cases), betrayal cannot arise out of the blue. Even if you are drunk, your interlocutor has perfumed himself with something incredibly delicious-smelling, his voice and body are alluring, and the atmosphere around is heated with passion and everything emanates romance. Loyalty lies in being able to resist when there is so much temptation around: in the absence of temptations, devotion would not be valued so highly. All these circumstances - appearance, charisma, etc. – they just pulled the trigger, which was already cocked. So why did this happen?

After betrayal, a woman has no time for self-analysis, in a feeling of anxiety and guilt, engaging in self-flagellation, she is not able to sensibly evaluate her act and discover its motives. And it is necessary to do this, at a minimum, in order to think through all possible options for further behavior, and not to chop from the shoulder. Almost no woman needs cheating as such - most often she needs change.

The psychology of female infidelity and its difference from male infidelity

From time immemorial, male infidelity has been perceived as something more acceptable and forgivable than female infidelity. Indeed, often the basis of male infidelity is the primitive reproductive instinct of the male. A man rarely considers an intimate relationship on the side as betrayal; for him, it is just a physical need that he has satisfied. For him, moral betrayal is much more important - when his mistress becomes for him an attractive woman with whom he would like to have more than just sexual relations. Then he begins to give his act the status of treason and is tormented by it.

Men, having a mistress, do not at all plan to leave their family. To cheat, they don’t have to fall passionately in love with their partner, but even if feelings arise, the man will delay the decision of divorce for a long time. With whom to cheat is also not particularly important to a man - of course, it should be a sexually attractive woman, but otherwise he does not look closely at her for long - this means her personality, emotions, etc.

But a woman cannot treat infidelity simply as a passing hobby in order to satisfy physiological needs. When she commits betrayal, she knows that it will turn everything upside down and that it will never be the same as before. A woman cannot choose a partner as easily and simply as a man: in addition to external attractiveness, the lover must at least be attractive to her as a person and suit her emotionally. She cannot continue to think that in the meantime nothing will change in the family - everything will change for her, she will begin to consider her partner as a life partner, because she no longer sees him in her husband.

Naturally, we are talking about those cases when the thought of betrayal was accepted by a woman through painful reflection, or she succumbed to temptation amid problems with her man. We are not talking about those who sell themselves or rush from one lover to another just for the sake of sensual gratification, or when the betrayal occurred as a result of severe alcohol intoxication.

Common reasons for female infidelity

University of Colorado psychology professor Jennifer Harman says women usually don't cheat on their partners without a reason. Yes, and men don’t do this, we can argue, there should always be a reason for cheating. And this is true, but if the reasons for male infidelity may seem unconvincing and “far-fetched” to us, then the woman must definitely have a very compelling argument for her to “go to the left.”

Lack of attention and care from her husband

Most often, women cheat for this reason. All day long the spouses are at work, and in the evening the woman also has the role of keeper of the hearth - she must cook, iron, clean, create comfort. And the tired husband either does not notice how she is “twirling”, or, taking it for granted, does not bother himself with words of gratitude. Tense conversations at dinner, irritation and withdrawal of the husband into himself - lounging on the couch in front of the TV, computer games, car, etc. - all this leads a woman to apathy, unwillingness to do anything for a loved one who is not able to appreciate, and loss of a sense of self-worth. Spouses are moving further and further away from each other, but it is important for a woman to know that she is desired, needed, loved, to feel like a Woman, sensual, beautiful, gentle. When she doesn’t get this at home, the treacherous idea of ​​getting it on the side begins to work - her husband doesn’t pay any attention to her, but other men flirt with her, they will appreciate her.

An eye for an eye - betrayal in revenge

A woman, having learned about her husband’s infidelity or suspecting him of it, can be in the grip of her own resentment for a long time, and then find a way out by paying her back in the same coin - connections on the side. Usually, having cheated on her husband once or twice, the thirst for revenge recedes, family life returns to a new direction for the woman, but men, as a rule, are severely disappointed when they learn about such a plan for revenge. It is known that they consider female infidelity to be a much lower and unforgivable matter than their own.

Woman's sexual dissatisfaction

Problems in bed, insufficiently rich and varied, insipid sex life or its absence due to the man’s insolvency and other reasons - all this leads to the fact that a woman wants to satisfy her sexual needs on the side.

Love for another man

There is already a high probability that after such a betrayal the family will fall apart: this is a desperate step, the woman taking it knows what she is doing and has already made her choice - in favor of her lover. But even if there is no more love, you need to respect your spouse and break up with him first in order to make connections while being free.

Weak husband

A strong man who treats a woman condescendingly, like a child (where there is a need) and tempers her emotionality with his rationalism is the ideal of any representative of the fairer sex. But in life there are no ideals, and it often happens that a man’s character is weaker than that of a woman. And then she feels her impunity and begins to “twist” her husband, checking how far she can go. If the spouse tolerates all the antics, then the last “test” may be betrayal.

Frequent absence of husband

No matter how much a woman loves her husband, his too frequent absence causes the habit that he is not around all the time and she is “seemingly” alone. She may lack a man’s shoulder, and a new man who has appeared on the horizon, who is also not on the road like her husband, but is constantly nearby, could become a good support. Moreover, women often deceive themselves, claiming that this is just light flirting that will not develop into anything more, but will distract them in the absence of their husband.

Thirst for new sensations

The situation is quite common - everything at home has become so “boring” and has become gray and mundane that a woman feels as if she is stuck in a quagmire of routine and grasps at any opportunity to get out of it. Family life becomes predictable to the point of despair and proceeds as if according to a schedule that can be continued for years to come. Tired of constant washing, ironing, borscht and school diaries, a woman

He may get carried away by a new man who falls out of the picture of boring stability. With him, she feels young, desired, and can afford not to think about dinner and family obligations. Sometimes it remains a one-time adventure, and sometimes it develops into a relationship and forces you to choose.

Worthy of the best

This reason includes all of the above. Marriage seems to be a burden for a woman, but she also feels sorry for getting a divorce or simply doesn’t have the courage. She can’t fix something so that she doesn’t want to break up (or doesn’t want to, doesn’t know how, etc.).

Emotionally, a woman considers herself already free, because her husband is essentially a stranger to her, an entry in her passport, nothing more. That is why, having cheated, she does not feel remorse or remorse. “I deserve better” - this thought will certainly become obvious to the spouse, even if it was not voiced, and then the marriage begins to burst at the seams.

Consequences of female infidelity

We all know from childhood that betrayal is low, ugly, a knife in the back, a blow to the gut. But society invariably continues to treat male infidelity much more loyally than female adultery. It would seem that the consequences of a woman’s betrayal are the same as those of a man’s betrayal.

However, the situation is actually more complicated - alas, it will never be “the same as before” for the woman who cheated. This man may believe that he simply “relaxed” on the side and return to the family, without even thinking about breaking up with his wife. A man, as a rule, is looking for sex on the side, and a woman is looking for a relationship, as mentioned above.

That is why, after betrayal, she faces a situation of choosing the lesser evil, since in any case she is “a loser.” To tell or not to tell your husband about cheating? Every woman who at least somehow values ​​marriage asks this question in the pangs of conscience. It would be wiser to remain silent about the offense: if you tell everything to your husband, and he even forgives you and you save the family, there will no longer be trust in it. In addition, this is a hard blow to a man’s pride - he will think that you do not value him and that he is no longer the best for you if you chose another man over him.

The fact that your soul will become easier after throwing off the stone of silence is an illusion, it will not become easier. You will hurt a loved one, and he will not be able to forget it, even if he tries, even if he promises never to remind him. The slightest quarrel will provoke him to accuse you, and you will have nothing to object to. In addition, you have lost the right to jealousy - you will try to turn any misdeed of your husband into the notorious “But do I have the right to blame him for something?!”

Conclusion - if you regret the betrayal and want to save the marriage, it is better not to talk about what happened. Over time, the feeling of shame may dull, but your spouse’s self-esteem will not be trampled upon.

But if betrayal in your case was a turning point, and you want to leave your loved one, then you can tell everything honestly. But even if you have lost interest in each other for a long time, it is better to leave first, freeing both yourself and him from an unpleasant conversation, without spitting on his soul in the end and saving the face of a decent person.

Whether you leave or not, cheating is a serious reason to change something in yourself and in your relationships. And it is always better to prevent than to cure: if you are overcome by thoughts of betrayal, it is better to figure out where the relationship has cracked. If you don’t want to lose them, solve the problem together with your partner, without going “outside”. If you no longer need this union, it would be more honest and correct to first break up, and then start a new relationship.

This is a difficult word - treason. It brings pain to the one who is betrayed, and gives no peace to the person who betrays him. In male infidelity there is more physiology; a woman cheats with her “soul”. This article is intended to explain the reasons for female infidelity.

Cheating on a wife almost always ends in divorce; often the wife can forgive and come to terms with her husband’s betrayal, but a man can never live with a woman who cheated on him.

Why wives cheat, psychology:

60% of women decide to cheat due to lack of orgasm and dissatisfaction in the marital bed.
The second common reason is revenge on a spouse for his betrayal.
Lack of attention from my husband. A woman is like a flower. Without water, the flower dies, and the wife, without compliments and tender words, ceases to feel wanted and needed and, over time, begins to look outside for what she lacks in family life. Psychology I cheated on my wife, what should I do?
It is rare, but it happens that a woman under the influence of alcohol rushes into the passionate embrace of another man, but this momentary clouding of reason most often ends the next day with remorse and guilt, especially if there were no special problems in family life before.
A woman who has reached the age of 45 may suddenly come to her senses and realize for herself that life is passing, and she has not done much and has not loved. Therefore, the proverb “Grey hair in a beard is a devil in a rib” is suitable not only for men. The children have grown up, life has settled down, the career has been successful, and I wanted something unusual, memories of youth cloud my brain.

Why do men cheat on their wives? Psychology

The main problem of female infidelity is that for her, sex and love are two complementary factors. In order to agree to intimacy, a woman must fall in love with her partner. For the sake of her ardent love, she is ready to make any sacrifice, but over time, the spell of passion may dissipate, and the fact of the betrayal that has already occurred will remain.

A woman who has nevertheless decided to cheat should not fall in love and allow her lover to take possession of her heart and thoughts. The wife changed how to live further, psychology or reality. Moreover, you should not tell anyone about this. You cannot store SMS, notes, or other evidence of your infidelity.

Before embarking on this adventure, you should think it over carefully, because men do not forgive infidelity and the marriage will probably fall apart if the spouse finds out about it.

Why men cheat on their wives reasons psychology

According to statistics, men cheat more often than women. But in fact, representatives of the weaker sex, especially recently, are accused of infidelity on a par with the stronger sex. And yet her psychology is somewhat different. After all, a lady does not need to worry about leaving behind as many heirs as possible; she is not worried about the instinct of reproduction, unlike a man. The psychology of a man whose wife cheated on him is vile.

It is important for a woman to feel needed and desired by one man. In everyday life, the novelty and romance disappears quite quickly, the husband pays less and less attention to his beloved, stops admiring her, and the wife begins to look around in search of another admirer of her beauty. If such a gentleman exists, then perhaps in the near future he will become her lover.

Why do husbands cheat on their wives? Psychology

Unlike male infidelity, female infidelity is a carefully thought-out, felt, soul-passed step. The spouse can go to this event for many months and even years.

Female infidelity is much more dangerous than male infidelity, since a man, cheating on his wife, most often does not think about leaving the family or divorce, and a woman decides to be unfaithful when everything is bad in the marriage and she ceases to value such a family. What kind of wives are not cheated on by psychology.

Cheating on your spouse is the first and important signal that the family has already been destroyed and now neither a sense of duty, nor a sense of guilt, nor remorse, nor even joint children will hold it back.

Male betrayal will not surprise anyone today. Moreover, society does not sharply condemn men for their partisanship. The explanation of their polygamous physiology is most often limited to one phrase, “He’s a man!”, implying permission to cheat. And, despite the fact that cheating on a husband is one of the common causes of divorce in the world, most often men’s fleeting hobbies with their wives are forgiven.

The attitude in society towards female infidelity is the opposite. Since ancient times, a woman was considered a beregin, a keeper of the hearth. Her modesty and loyalty to her husband were considered the most valuable qualities. In some cultures, a wife could be executed for treason; more often, the crowd would throw stones at the traitor. Today, a woman who cheats on her husband does not face such a severe punishment. But, if a man’s infidelity is justified by nature itself, then female infidelity is a complex concept that requires a detailed explanation.

Psychology of female infidelity

The nature of female infidelity can be explained by one phrase from an old joke: “It’s not difficult to take someone else’s wife, but it’s difficult to get her back later.” Although many wives deny that they could ever cheat on their spouse, in fact, statistics prove the opposite. A woman, unlike a man, is guided not by the physiological needs given to him by nature, but by feelings. Therefore, it is a married woman who is easiest to seduce and fall in love with. Against the background of a stagnant relationship with a spouse and a lack of romance, it is very easy to awaken a woman’s extinguished feelings. After all, every woman dreams of being loved and desired, and words are often more important to her than actions. Think about why, at all times, out-and-out romantics and vagabonds were revered by women more than sensible businessmen? Why do women leave a reliable husband for a street thug? As already mentioned, women live by feelings, and betrayal for them is an action dictated by their emotional sphere. No woman will cheat on her husband just because she liked the biceps or butt of her alleged lover. Among the reasons for female infidelity lie deeper roots.

Common reasons for female infidelity

So, why does the wife decide to take such a risky step? For many, this is, first of all, a step of despair, searching for a way out of the situation, solving problems. The reasons for a wife's betrayal should be sought only in the family.

• Trying to forget family problems. More than 10 years of marriage have passed, there are children in the family, but there are certain problems that do not make a woman happy in marriage. Young girls will most likely file for divorce, and a woman who has decades of family life behind her will not dare to destroy the created world. Because of my own insecurities, because of my children, because of the fear of change. She will find an outlet in the form of a lover. But over time, this illusion will be destroyed, the woman will understand that she is deceiving, first of all, herself.
• Satisfying your own ego. Psychologists say that an unmarried woman can be distinguished by her gaze, by a certain sparkle in her eyes, by the aura emanating from her. Once married, a woman loses these signs and becomes uninteresting to men. And the fact that she is married also pushes fans away from her. It is in search of male attention and romance that a woman decides to cheat. Moreover, often in such cases it is she who becomes the initiator of extramarital relations.
• Problems in your sex life. Intimacy plays a big role in family life. But over time, passion dulls, and many married couples are overtaken by a crisis. Without trying to find a joint solution to this problem, the spouses find it on the side. Sexual dissatisfaction pushes the wife to cheat.
• Women's revenge. Cheating for this reason is a huge mistake. Having learned about her husband's infidelity, the wife, overwhelmed by feelings and under the influence of extreme stress, commits adultery. But the result is spiritual emptiness and perhaps even a broken marriage. After all, a man, unlike a woman, is not always ready to forgive betrayal.

• New love. No matter how old a woman is, she constantly needs love and romantic courtship. And, if on her way she meets a seducer who will give her all this, then she will rush headlong into the maelstrom of a new relationship.
• Frequent separations. A spouse's long business trips can also serve as a catalyst for his wife's infidelity. In this case, a number of other reasons arise that contribute to discord in the relationship: lack of attention, suspicion of the husband of infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction.
• First love. As you know, first love leaves the strongest emotional memories in the soul. And if the object of youthful infatuation (provided that he did not drink himself to death or degenerate) comes across a woman’s path, then her memory will awaken past memories and the relationship will continue.
• Marriage without love. Unfortunately, such marriages are becoming common in society. A childhood friend, by convenience, by chance - it’s hard to surprise with such reasons for getting married.

And one more important aspect - a woman cheats not only with her body, but also with her soul. Therefore, if a man breaks up with his mistress easily, then for a woman such a choice is very difficult. And when such a situation occurs, it is very important to stop being guided by feelings, and begin to act according to the arguments of reason.

Signs of a wife cheating

The nature of a woman is such that it is difficult for her to hide the changes that happen to her. The female powerful emotional sphere is again to blame for everything. Therefore, if the wife does not admit to infidelity herself, which often happens, her husband can find out about her affair by a number of signs:

• the wife hides her phone from her husband and does not talk on the phone in front of him;
• changes appeared in appearance, the wife began to take better care of herself;
• a woman has lost interest in sex, constantly finds a reason to evade intimacy;
• the spouse is emotionally distant;
• she no longer cares about housekeeping;
• absences from home have become frequent, and the wife also returns late from work;
• any words or actions of the spouse now irritate the woman;
• and the most important sign of infidelity is the appearance of sparkle in the eyes, mystery and mystery.

But no matter what reasons a woman has for cheating, its consequences are most often very sad. How does a woman feel after her betrayal?

Most likely, an exorbitant burden of guilt will fall on women’s shoulders. Even if the husband never finds out about the fact of the betrayal, the wife will worry and suffer for a very long time because of what she did. Because of the fear of condemnation and disclosure of the secret, a woman is unlikely to tell anyone about her action. But in such situations, it is best to speak out and cry on someone’s shoulder. Being in this case her own lawyer, judge, and executioner, a woman can easily reach a nervous breakdown. And then only a psychologist or a husband who has forgiven her can help.

The breakdown of a family can also be a sad consequence of a wife's betrayal. Although, depending on which side you look at it. If the marriage is already bursting at the seams, maybe it’s not worth saving? And divorce is the only step to start life over with a new leaf. As a rule, men do not forgive cheating. A man understands perfectly well that if his wife cheated on him, it means that she gave vent to her feelings, which means that not only physical, but also spiritual betrayal has occurred. This means that his wife does not belong to him. And rarely can any spouse forgive this. Therefore, the consequences of a wife’s betrayal for a husband are always so categorical.

Another consequence of accomplished adultery is a new relationship and, possibly, a new family. There are many such cases in life. Having met true love, a woman goes to her lover and gets married. In this case, we can say that life after the betrayal has become happier.

Thus, we can conclude that the reasons for adultery on the part of the wife lie in the search for love, warmth, attention and understanding, which she lacks in the family. Cheating occurs when a relationship has outlived its usefulness. Therefore, in order not to blame yourself for the destruction of the family, you need to do everything to preserve it before the woman decides to take a desperate step. If in her own husband she sees at the same time a protector, a lover, a friend, then even thoughts about betrayal will not arise.

If a young man or man has doubts about the fidelity of his beloved, there are only two possible options. The first one, unfortunately, changes. The second is that your friend is honest, but you are painfully suspicious. In order not to offend your beloved with undeserved reproaches, which could just destroy the happiness you have built, you must try to look at the situation objectively. It’s not easy, but you won’t have to “discover America” either: psychologists know how to understand that a girl is cheating, so a man should follow their advice, compare facts and, if necessary, take action. Before it's too late.

The first alarm bells

For different couples, depending on the temperament of both and the nature of the existing relationship, these bells can be of different heights and strengths. If, for example, a girl was always very emotional, jealous of every “skirt,” checked her partner’s email, nagged at socks thrown anywhere, and then suddenly stopped “getting” her other half, there is a high probability that she switched to someone on the third.

Does it change or not? Trust your intuition, and also pay attention to some of the signs described in this article

It is important not to miss this call. Although most men, glad that there are fewer complaints against them, ignore it. And in vain. The situation, most likely, is at the beginning of its development: someone has simply appeared in the girl’s life who is devoid of the negative traits that irritated her in her old partner. Perhaps she felt interest and respect for herself, which she previously lacked, but she has not yet decided to cheat.

Another bell is interest in your own appearance. If the man himself does not cheat on his friend and she does not need to outdo the homewrecker, then her trips to the gym and pool, following diets that she previously ignored are evidence that she has someone to be attractive to. And this, most likely, is not her husband or her regular boyfriend, who has stopped noticing whether the polish on her nails is perfect, whether her armpits are shaved and how long her robe is. This someone is the object of her new interest.

Her eyes are unusually shiny, and her cheeks are constantly filled with blush? Perhaps her thoughts are occupied with your opponent!

By the way, the main changes in a woman’s image are not even a new dress and expensive lace lingerie, not a southern tan from a solarium, it’s the sparkle in the eyes and the blush on the cheeks that you haven’t seen since your first dates. Remember and draw conclusions.

Behavior of a girl who cheats: what a guy should pay attention to

If a girl cheats on her boyfriend or is about to cross a dangerous line, she cannot remain the same. Here are the points, according to psychologists, that should be of concern:

Checking the list above, a young man who doubts the fidelity of his chosen one will probably not tick every item. But if in this “damn dozen inconsistencies” there are at least 5-6 of them, the suspicions are most likely justified. Already such a number of coincidences makes it clear that the girl is cheating.

How to know for sure that a girl is sleeping with someone

Bed can finally clarify, and sometimes... Confuse the situation. The fact is that some girls are “turned on” by the fact that they have someone else, and they transfer their passion to the guy who was cuckolded. Some people do this on purpose to lull the unfortunate man’s vigilance.

If he could only understand everything and soberly assess what was happening (alas, he was simply glad for the feelings that surged over his girlfriend), he would have noticed the unusual behavior of his chosen one. For example, if a girl began to bite his nipples during love foreplay, which she had never practiced before, and he himself did not push her to such caresses, a reasonable question arises: where did the girl suddenly have such a need?

An unfaithful girl often denies intimacy to her partner and does not even want to kiss him

However, a more traditional development of events is when an unfaithful girl, under any pretext (and the fair sex always has a lot of them), denies intimacy to the guy she lives with. If for several weeks partners go to bed and fall asleep, each turning in their own direction, this is a very alarming signal.

Another indicator of fidelity is a kiss. With the help of your lips you can tell your lover a lot - both about the strength of your feelings and about the fact that he is the best in the world. But if the lips are silent, things are bad. The girl will not kiss the person she is cheating on with the same passion.

Understand the psychology of female infidelity - why and how

If a guy can cheat without experiencing pangs of conscience, then for the fair sex everything happens exactly the opposite, even if the girl ended up in someone else’s bed as a result of sincere feelings and emotions that captured her. Experts say: 99% of women and girls who dare to betray will not be able to subsequently treat this with composure and continue to live as if nothing special had happened in their lives.

How to understand why female infidelity happens? Here is a list of the most typical options:

As follows from the above, it is not so difficult to understand that a girl is cheating. If a man or young man suspects his girlfriend of infidelity, he persistently seeks answers to his disturbing questions, without thinking about what will happen later when the truth is revealed. Fortunately, there are several scenarios for the development of events, and not all are bad. Sometimes the stress of betrayal helps to revive marital relationships and return them to their original sincerity.