It is possible to cope with a phobia on your own, but it is better to consult a psychotherapist. The main thing is not to let this process take its course and not try to avoid solving the problem. In order to overcome your fear, you should realize that in most cases all phobias are groundless and meaningless. It is important to learn to believe in yourself and your strengths, to lead a healthy and active lifestyle. In order to think less about the phobia, you should devote a lot of time to your favorite activity, hobby.

You can try to face your fear. However, not everyone will be able to overcome themselves and use such a radical method. During a panic attack, you should breathe correctly, be able to relax the muscles of your face and body, and think about positive things. To get rid of fears, you should not resort to drinking alcohol, drugs or coffee, as this will only lead to stimulation of the nervous system.

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General concept of pathology

Obsessive fears are distinguished by the fact that a person understands the meaninglessness of the phobia, but continues to be afraid. This phenomenon most often occurs in childhood and can haunt a person throughout his life.

There are several hundred obsessive fears. Among them are fears of heights, society, spiders, closed spaces, illnesses, intimate relationships, communication, and others. Such phobias are often uncontrollable and bring a lot of problems to a person, as it interferes with establishing a personal life, getting a job, or communicating with friends and family.

Phobias can be classified based on the situation, the specific object, age, symptoms, and gender of the person. Today, scientists distinguish 4 groups of main phobias:

1. 1. Zoophobias are fears that are associated with flora and fauna.
2. 2. Social phobias involve fear of everything that a person encounters every day.
3. 3. Agoraphobia – fear of open space. These could be doors, windows.
4. 4. Fears that cannot be classified into the previous categories. These include health-related phobias, fear of the dark, fear of confined spaces, and many others.

Signs of obsessive fears

Phobias can be easily recognized by the following symptoms:

• Feeling of difficulty breathing, throat spasm.
• High heart rate.
• Feeling of weakness, faintness.
• Numbness of the whole body.
• Feeling of horror, intense fear.
• Tremor throughout the body.
• Vomiting, indigestion.
• The body “does not listen” to a person.
• The person feels as if he is “going crazy.”

We can talk about the presence of a phobia if at least 4 of the listed signs of obsessive fears are present.



Men's fears

In the modern world, there is an opinion that men are not prone to excessive experiences, and they are practically not afraid of anything. However, this point of view is erroneous, since representatives of the stronger half of humanity also have many fears that men try to overcome:

1. 1. The most common phobia of men is the fear of loneliness. They are afraid of losing their soulmate, being left alone, abandoned and unwanted. However, most men will never admit it because they don’t want to look pathetic.
2. 2. Fear of new relationships. Unlike women, who can easily plunge into new feelings, men try to hide their emotions, experiences and tears. They try to control themselves so as not to fall in love again and not lose their priceless freedom.
3. 3. Fear of looking feminine, since men associate this with weak character, submissiveness and humility. If he has at least once noticed feminine traits in his character or behavior, this fear will always be present in the man’s mind.
4. 4. Fear of the subordinate. Many men like to gossip about henpeckedness. If a young man notices that his friend is completely submissive to his other half, this will cause a storm of protest. Therefore, men do everything possible to avoid being in such a situation by showing their most masculine traits.
5. 5. Fear of failure. Every man wants to achieve material well-being and financial independence. Therefore, if he realizes that he has failed in something, he immediately counts himself among the ranks of losers. The positive side of this fear is that this phobia forces men to become stronger, to reach new heights, overcoming difficulties and obstacles.

It is difficult for a man to overcome fear on his own, no matter what it is associated with. He will need outside help. However, he must understand that all fears are based on subjective factors and characteristics of the man himself.

Most male phobias were formed in childhood or adolescence. For example, if a young man has been rejected by women several times, then this fear will remain with him for the rest of his life. If you are afraid of meeting the opposite sex, you must immediately warn the girl about this. In most cases, such sincerity in a man’s behavior disarms the ladies. He can meet girls as much as necessary until he begins to feel comfortable in the company of a lady. An intelligent and tactful woman will help in this case. It all depends on the willpower and character of the man. After all, in order to overcome their fear, some people need delicate treatment, while others need a tougher approach.

Often, men get rid of fears with the help of alcohol. This is one of the biggest mistakes, since under the influence of alcohol you can only worsen the situation. In order to overcome your fears, you can use other methods, for example, hobbies, hobbies. Active recreation, visiting clubs, going to the cinema will help you cope with the problem. Physical activity can help you recharge yourself with positivity and strengthen your spirit. It is better to give preference to such active sports as tennis, football, kickboxing.



Women's phobias

The difference between typical female phobias and male ones is that they are not associated specifically with one subject, but represent a whole series of interrelated fears

Left alone

This is due to the fact that a woman is afraid of not getting married and being a girl for too long. Married women fear adultery and being abandoned by a man, even if there are no serious reasons for this. Gradually, this thought becomes obsessive and develops into a serious phobia, and depression develops. The reason for the appearance of such fears is a woman’s inferiority complex, self-doubt and low self-esteem.

The fight against this type of fear must begin with self-love. We must believe that every person deserves a good life and respectful treatment.

Lose beauty, old age

This phobia is inherent in successful and self-confident women. However, over time, they begin to think that time moves inexorably forward. The best solution to combat this fear will not be expensive plastic surgery and creams, but a healthy lifestyle, balanced nutrition, active sports and positive thinking.

Old age phobia most often begins to manifest itself in women over the age of 50 and is associated with her place in society and family. This may manifest itself in the fact that they incorrectly indicate their age on social networks and questionnaires. Another option for the manifestation of a phobia is that a woman begins to dress inappropriately for her age, while she looks ridiculous and funny. Women do not want to retire or take care of their grandchildren, citing their public employment. Correction of this phobia must begin with awareness of one’s self. You need to learn to realize and accept your age, along with its positive and negative qualities, to know the value of your years.

Completeness

Fear of being fat can have quite dangerous consequences. Trying to look like the models on glossy magazine covers, women go on radical diets, which leads to anorexia and disruption of the functioning of all organs and systems.

To get rid of this phobia, you should realize the value of your health. Instead of fasting, you can start following a balanced diet and leading an active lifestyle. This will help you maintain your weight.

Before birth

Fear of motherhood, which includes fear of childbirth and pregnancy. A woman has a fear of childbirth, she is afraid of pain and death. This phobia is typical for women with an inferiority complex. The negative aspect of this fear is that it is accompanied by disturbances in the functioning of the autonomic system and has a detrimental effect on the process of conception, pregnancy and childbirth.

Concerns about the child are an integral part of maternal care. But we must not allow natural feelings to develop into a phobia, which can affect the state of a woman’s nervous system. You need to realize that childbirth lasts only a few hours, this is insignificant compared to the whole life ahead. Modern medicine can ensure a relatively comfortable birth (with the use of epidural anesthesia) and guarantee 99% that everything will be fine with the woman. The main thing is to call an ambulance in time at the first contractions. You need to read fewer stories on the Internet and stay positive, since every birth is different. If your friends or sisters had them severely, painfully and lasted for days, this does not mean that it will be the same for you. There are many counter examples.

Insects, amphibians

The reason for the appearance of such fear lies in childhood. In order to get rid of the obsessive fear of insects, spiders and snakes, you need to look fear in the eye: pick it up, touch it.

Driving a car

The fear of driving a car is associated with the fact that a woman is afraid of getting into an accident, damaging the car, breaking traffic rules, or being ridiculed by other road users. This fear does not require special correction. Fear of the road and cars goes away on its own after a woman gains driving experience over time. You can improve your skills on training grounds or not very busy roads.

Public opinion and condemnation by other people

Fear occurs most often in women with complexes and lack of self-confidence. In order to get rid of it, you should set clear priorities for yourself, realize that your own happiness does not depend on the opinions of the people around you.

Types of phobias and methods of getting rid of them

Anyone can have one or more phobias, which affects their character, behavior and attitude towards certain things.

Type of phobia	How to get rid of it?
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. It manifests itself as attacks of panic fear while being in a closed space. It could be an elevator, a car. This group of fears includes fear of crowds	You need to try to communicate more with people who have already overcome fear. You should not avoid crowded places and cramped spaces, since it is impossible to get rid of this fear in absentia. If an attack of fear occurs in an elevator, then by force of will you need to concentrate your attention on some object, for example, buttons
Gerontophobia - fear of one's own aging and fear of communicating with older people	Doctors say that people who have their own point of view, who are difficult to anger, and who do not succumb to a melancholy mood, look good and retain their youth longer. You should replace bad habits with useful ones, think positively
Trypanophobia - fear of needles, syringes, injections, which is caused by poor quality of medical care, careless attitude of doctors towards their patients	To avoid a panic attack, you don’t have to watch the health worker perform the manipulation. You should distract yourself with something, for example, listen to music, watch an interesting video
Aerophobia - fear of flying in an airplane	You should fly as often as possible. Every successful landing will leave a trace in the subconscious that flying an airplane is safe. You need to buy tickets from a company that has a good reputation. When purchasing a ticket, you should choose the middle row away from the window. You should not drink coffee before takeoff. Better eat a mint candy
Dentophobia is the fear of visiting the dentist. People suffering from this phobia go to the dentist in extremely rare cases.	In order to alleviate the patient’s condition, dentists recommend performing all procedures under sedation. Before visiting the dentist, you need to think about the fact that modern medicine has a large number of new painkillers. You can talk to loved ones who recently visited the dentist and nothing happened to them. We must remember that even the most severe pain in a person is erased from memory after 3 hours
Insectophobia - fear of insects, especially ants and bees	When encountering an insect, you need to breathe deeply, try to relax and even smile. You can develop a program for yourself that will help you get rid of this phobia in a few months. To do this, you first need to learn to stay in the same room with the insect for up to 3 minutes. Then don’t be afraid to approach at a distance of 2–3 meters. After this, you need to overcome your fear and not be afraid to watch the insect for 1 minute. You must learn to cover the animal with a can or bucket tied to a long stick
Herpetophobia is the fear of reptiles. This fear is not uncommon. It is mainly associated with lizards and snakes	The best method of getting rid of this phobia is hypnotherapy. In order to cope with fear, you should learn as much interesting information as possible and read about reptiles
Agraphobia is a phobia of sexual harassment. Signs of this fear are rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, dry mouth, increased anxiety	If the fear of sexual harassment prevents you from living and communicating normally with the opposite sex, then treatment by qualified specialists is recommended. Methods such as suggestion, conversation, hypnosis are used in the therapy process.
Autophobia is a pathological fear of loneliness. A feeling of fear arises in situations when a person is left alone, trying to occupy himself with something, but to no avail.	You should realize that it is impossible to be in communication with people all the time. Loneliness is a completely normal phenomenon. You need to find something to do that won't give you the opportunity to be sad. It could be a new job, a hobby, a passion, a pet.
Agoraphobia is the fear of open space. These can be large areas, deserted streets	You should relax, close your eyes and imagine how a person comes home and crosses the threshold of the house, continuing to move around the apartment with slow steps. If at any stage there is a feeling of discomfort, you should start the journey over. You should understand where the “anchor point” is, what forces a person to be at home. The size of the point should not be more than 1 cm. When a person discovers this place and feels comfortable there, one should move further until the fact is realized that the comfort zone is created only by the person himself and no one else
Algophobia - fear of pain. The reason for the development of this phobia is pain previously experienced in an unpleasant situation, for example, in a fight.	You should do auto-training 3 times a week, study relaxation techniques such as yoga, acupressure, tai chi. During a panic attack, you should take deep breaths and exhale with your stomach.
Spectrophobia - fear of mirrors and one's reflection	You should overcome yourself and stand in front of the mirror during the day, start saying nice words to yourself, the room, the mirror. You can invite someone close to you to help

You cannot wait until the process becomes more severe. If you miss the moment when fear begins to develop, then later it will be impossible to overcome it on your own.

• Look at the environment and life from a positive perspective. If you imagine an unpleasant future, the situation will only get worse.
• Meet your phobia eye to eye. The method is quite radical and quite effective. Although not everyone can dare to do this.
• Ability to relax during a panic attack. You can start talking loudly, singing, laughing.
• Breathe correctly. Convulsive sobs and sighs will not help in any way to overcome a panic attack. Breathing should be calm, even, deep and rhythmic.
• Complete relaxation of the muscles of the body and face will help you calm down faster.
• You should not use drugs, alcohol or coffee to overcome your phobia. This will only worsen the situation, since these methods have a stimulating effect on the human nervous system.

Special techniques for dealing with fears

There are many special psychological techniques that will help you overcome fear on your own.

1. Face-to-face technique.

This technique should be practiced twice every day. For 10 minutes you should think only about your fear, bringing yourself to the point of starting a panic attack. Its paradox lies in the fact that in order to get rid of fear, one must experience severe emotional discomfort. After a few minutes, the person begins to realize that there is no danger. You just need to calmly repeat those thoughts that caused anxiety before. This state must be maintained throughout the entire 10 minutes, otherwise everything will be useless.

The basis of this technique is the ability of the nervous system to quickly recover and stabilize after a strong emotional shock. After just a few days of using this technique, a person notices that he simply has nothing to fill these 10 minutes with. He will begin to get bored as the feeling of fear begins to gradually disappear. The body’s stress system will no longer react violently every time to the appearance of a stimulus.

2. Technique for writing down your fears.

In order to overcome obsessive fear, you can try the technique of writing down your phobia. It consists of writing down, verbatim, throughout the day all your thoughts that arise about fear from the moment the worry began until it ends. You shouldn't try to write everything down in nice sentences. You can simply word for word as a stenographer at a meeting.

The essence of this method is that when fear passes from a person’s consciousness to paper, it materializes, acquires features and, as a result, looks primitive and meaningless. After a while, it will become uninteresting to write the same words, and the fear will gradually go away.

3. The technique of singing your phobias.

The technique of singing fear helps to get rid of obsessive thoughts. You need to sing exactly as they appear in your head. If a person sings, then he simply physically cannot remain in a stressful state. You need to choose a short phrase and sing it to a simple tune for several minutes. As soon as the negative feelings begin to disappear, you need to immediately switch your attention to something else.

4. Technique for changing the picture in your head.

This technique works well in cases where a person cannot express his feelings in words, since they are only a picture that appears in his head. At the moment fear appears, you need to imagine a picture completely opposite to your phobia. For example, if a person suffers from claustrophobia, then you need to immediately imagine yourself in a large open field. If a person is afraid of some kind of disease, one must imagine oneself happy and healthy.

There is no need to be afraid to seek help from a specialist. It is necessary to distinguish between a psychotherapist - a doctor who deals with mild mental disorders, for example, phobias, and a psychiatrist who treats severe illnesses, for example, schizophrenia, and who can register the patient. Seeing a psychotherapist has no consequences. The doctor will not prescribe serious drugs, but will help you cope with the phobia through conversation, suggestion, and hypnosis.

It's not just children who are prone to anxiety. According to statistics, more than 20% of the world's population experience various restrictions in their lives due to fears. The occurrence of this phenomenon is associated with an ancient biological reaction, and people began to ask the question of how to overcome fear back in ancient times.

Experts say that active activation of the brain consciousness can resist it. But first things first.

Parable of Fear

One man wandered around the world. On the way he encountered a plague. The man asked her where she was going. To which the plague replied that it was going to the neighboring village to destroy a thousand lives. They broke up, and a month later they met again. A man with claims told the plague that it deceived him and took five thousand human lives. The plague replied that it did not lie, but really took away a thousand, all other people died without its participation, just from fear.

People are afraid of heights, darkness, terrible dreams, loneliness, driving a car, flying and many other things that might not be afraid. Why? What happens to a person? What is fear? Are there ways to overcome fear?

Fear - what is it?

Fear is an internal state caused by a threatening real or perceived disaster. From a psychological point of view, it is considered a negatively colored emotion.

It occurs every day in life. We go to work, do household chores, visit shops and theaters, where something can happen that can frighten us, so how should we fight fear and is it necessary?

We are born, begin to breathe, scream and be afraid at the same time. This phenomenon haunts us all our lives. And for many people it limits the freedom, poisons their lives, destroys both body and soul. And no one likes to experience this feeling. And it is impossible not to experience it.

There are unique people in the world who know neither fear nor horror. But this is a rare disease, as a result of which the amygdala of the brain, which is responsible for this feeling, stops working for unknown reasons. A person is not afraid of anything, not even death. It is impossible to say whether it is a gift or a disadvantage, but a person has fearlessness.

If you think about it, fearlessness is not so good, since a person is exposed to serious dangers that he is not even aware of, he does not know what to fear, and, therefore, does not think about how to deal with fears.

This condition destroys us, but at the same time it also plays a positive role, both in the life of an individual and the whole society. Fear warns a person about danger, teaches what needs to be avoided, that is, warns. But if a person is covered by a wave, then the person may succumb to panic.

Techniques for dealing with fear

Many psychologists argue that the question of how to deal with fears can be dealt with in one simple way - this is to stop even thinking about how to overcome fear, that is, stop saving yourself from it. While we think about what we are afraid of, we, losing our energy, only think about this.

For example, a common fear, especially among women, is the fear of driving. Before they even start taking the exam, they are already thinking about how to overcome their fear of driving. Thus, they program themselves for this fear.

How to overcome fear? It's pretty simple. to help everything. Don’t want to wait for hours for public transport, and then have to jostle around in it, while constantly being late for meetings or work? So you need to make your life easier and learn to drive a car. This is the only thing you need to think about. Thoughts are occupied by motivation; motivation leaves no room for the question of how to overcome fear. The equipment works flawlessly.

Tune in for the best

90% of people who suffer from fears set themselves up for them. For example, many people are afraid to fly. They don’t yet know what to be afraid of, but they are already afraid.

How to overcome this type of fear? You need to build a flight plan within yourself, that is, what interesting things you can do during the flight. Read books, get some sleep, and in the end, while doing these activities, you won’t even notice how you’ll find yourself in the right place. This will be a painless and effective overcoming of fear.

You can imagine inside yourself a small, frightened child who definitely needs to be calmed down. Positive emotions and memories, ideas of a good fairy who calms the inner child and shows beautiful pictures - all this occupies the brain and helps to overcome fear.

Breathing exercises

You need to admit to yourself that you are really afraid that everything inside is shrinking, creating discomfort. How to overcome fear and get rid of discomfort? In order to relax yourself, you can focus your attention on your breathing and restore it.

Then try to carry out actions from the body to consciousness. Intentionally turn your shoulders, start massaging any points, it is not necessary to know the massage technique, just massage, while focusing on the sensations in the body.

Getting rid of internal dialogue

Most often we are frightened by our inner voice. How to overcome the fear that comes from internal dialogue? This voice is subject to us, and we must use our power over it. You can change his intonation or make him speak in a whisper or too fast, you can even make him speak from his little toe. It is impossible to take such a voice seriously and overcoming fear will become easy and even fun.

Our imagination portrays us as very small against the background of circumstances, so we cannot always understand how to deal with such a big fear, which is much larger than us. You need to mentally place dangerous circumstances in an absurd situation.

For example, make the situation small, place it in a saucepan and cover with a lid. This will be an interesting solution to the question of how to overcome fear. It is important to believe that we know how to overcome fear, and no matter how we do it.

“Memorable incident” technique

What types of fear a person experiences depends on what methods to combat fears. If someone offended you, you were afraid of a dog, an unpleasant action was done to you, as a result, a lump of fear remained inside you, the information about which is well known to you, that is, you know very well about the source of fear, which means the subconscious has written it down in some block remember this incident.

Naturally, a similar situation will always scare you. How to deal with such fears? You just need to imagine yourself in a cinema, on the screen of which there is a film about the circumstance that happened to you. You need to mentally roll the upper left corner of the screen into a tube, after which a new screen will appear, where almost the same actions take place, but with a successful outcome. By replacing bad actions in your subconscious three times with positive or even humorous ones, you can erase unpleasant events from your memory.

When a person laughs at something, there can be no fear; it arises only in an acute and serious situation. Over time, you will be able to notice that a funny story has been written in your subconscious instead of a scary situation, and in reality such a situation will no longer frighten you.

A quick way out of a depressing state

There are many techniques for working with fears. They can be suppressed, burned, recoded, or worked with beliefs. There is one technique that can bring you out of a state of momentary horror. You just need to remember what it is. This is a small ball of energy that may have arisen from nowhere. The purpose of this lump is one - to make sure that this condition does not happen again.

For example, you saw an accident, and now you are afraid of getting into the same situation, or you are afraid of being left without food, since you once experienced hunger (this applies to the older generation who experienced hunger), you can be afraid of the future, old age or death. These concerns are not always justified. Our subconscious does not distinguish between real events and what we can imagine.

We must convince ourselves that fear is not harmful, but useful, it activates our psyche, mobilizes us to protect ourselves from danger. And if he is so good, then we need to thank him for his good functions.

As soon as horror takes hold of you, you must understand where in the body it is located. You need to try to localize this place and imagine its image. Even if it looks like a dirty gray lump. You need to direct your kind energy to this lump with all the words of gratitude for his care. Fear, filled with warm energy, transforms into its opposite. Calm and self-confidence will appear within you.

Hormones of fear

The symptoms of anxiety and terror are the same for everyone. But we all behave differently in critical situations. Some know how to control themselves, others look scared, and others are close to panic.

Scientific research has shown that danger causes the release of two stress hormones, such as:

• Adrenaline (rabbit hormone), which is produced in cowardly animals.

It dilates the blood vessels of the brain, but constricts the blood vessels of the skin. We are used to hearing that the face turns gray with fear. From its ejection, the pulse quickens and breathing accelerates. People are lost with the prevailing “rabbit” hormone, horror leads them into a stupor. People do not overcome fear, but surrender themselves to fate, and often their fate ends in tears.

• Norepinephrine (the lion hormone) is predominantly produced in predators and is absent in their prey.

This hormone has completely different symptoms. The blood vessels dilate, the face turns red. The presence of this hormone characterizes the stability of the nervous system to stress and determines the physical and mental stability of the body. The norepinephrine type of people automatically fight fear; they can instantly mobilize in dangerous situations, easily overcoming them. At the same time, they can perform actions that do not always fit into the framework of possibilities.

Fear is good because it forces us to look for unknown resources within us. So he reminds us that it is impossible to become the master of the situation today with the set of opportunities that we have.

Therefore, experts argue about the harm and benefits of this phenomenon, about its destructive or creative influence. They argue about how to deal with fear and whether it is worth doing. No one can give a definite answer to these questions. And most importantly, no one has solved the mystery of how this phenomenon arises when it settles in our bodies, whether this feeling is innate or acquired.

Researchers conducted an experiment in which they found that children under one year old are not afraid of terrible pictures, but already in two-year-old children, scary images caused anxiety. It turns out that fear comes to us with the negative experience that we receive from the world around us.

Some of the universal human fears may be from childhood experience, and the other part is rewritten programs of parental experience, called scripts, when hidden programs are inherited.

Why we are afraid: the meaning of fears

Psychologists say that fear is a phenomenon of an acute emotional reaction caused by events or circumstances in the outside world.

Moreover, the circumstances could be both real and unreal, which is where ways to deal with fear become clear. As a result, the basis is a threat to human existence, both biological and social.

Psychologists distinguish several aspects of fear: apprehensions, fears, frights and horrors. But they are all divided into external factors and internal states, that is, they can be objective or subjective.

Before figuring out how to overcome fear, you need to understand that fear is a constant protective reaction of the human body, it is a warning to the human consciousness regarding a threatening situation.

And it will be much easier to overcome fear if we accept it as a defense. But there are more serious situations when overcoming fear begins with understanding its root cause.

Fears in modern life

We live in a very complex information world. And the unreal amount of information coming to us today is strikingly different from what people received in the era of Jesus Christ. Then, during the entire life cycle of a person, only six events occurred when decisions had to be made. We have to do this every day and more than once, and at the same time fight fear.

Experts say that psychologically and biologically we are no different from people of past eras. Therefore, it is difficult for us to cope with the stresses of the external environment; we experience an adaptation shock, since it is extremely difficult for us to streamline the avalanche of semantic and emotional information that falls upon us.

The nervous system of each of us experiences daily stress, so psychologists and psychotherapists today are seriously studying the question: “how to overcome fear for a modern person.”

Psychotherapist Fritz Perls said that the nervous system must chew what is happening in life, then swallow it and then digest it. Accordingly, all fears are not chewed or swallowed pieces of information.

Myth of the ancient Greeks

Since ancient times, people have known that this phenomenon has a dual nature. Among the ancient Greeks, this knowledge was expressed in the myth of the god Pan (hence the word “panic”). He was born with goat limbs, horns and a beard. His appearance was terrifying, but besides this, he screamed loudly, which terrified people. Pan once directed this gift for good; he terrified the army of the Persians who attacked the Greeks; they did not know how to overcome fear and fled cowardly.

This is just a myth, but in reality, scientists tested volunteers to study the nature and effects of this phenomenon on them in extreme situations. They were jumping from heights. At the time of the test, neurons in the tonsils of the brain were activated in the volunteers. This is called anxiety.

The body immediately reacts to the phenomenon. We all know the feeling of our heart jumping out of our chest; we immediately remember that fear has large eyes, but in reality the pupils dilate. In addition, our mouth becomes dry because the activity of the digestive glands decreases. Such sensations are present in each of us, but the fight against fear is different for everyone.

Each of us faces fear from time to time, and in some cases it is fear that provides us with security. But sometimes fear interferes with our daily life. If you want to overcome fear, this article is just for you.

Steps

Part 1

It is important to take action in time if fear turns into an obsession or phobia. It's completely normal to be afraid of something. Chances are you were scared to ride a bike when you first got on one, maybe you were scared to interview for a new job. However, when fears begin to control your entire life and negatively affect you, it becomes a real problem. If you feel that your fear is turning into a phobia, it begins to cause severe stress, which affects your functioning, you may feel anxious and nervous. Focus on your fears and try to understand how much they affect your life. Are you unable to move forward towards achieving your goals because of your fears? Here are some signs that your fear is developing into a more serious problem:

• fear makes you feel anxious and panicky;
• you understand that your fear is not justified;
• you begin to avoid certain places and situations;
• trying to ignore this fear causes you stress and prevents you from living peacefully;
• this fear has existed for six months (or longer).

1. Understand the symptoms of fear. Fears often manifest themselves in the form of phobias, which can include phobias of specific situations (for example, fear of public speaking), fear of certain animals (snakes or spiders), fear of blood, fear of injections, and so on. When you experience fear, various physiological, mental and emotional reactions occur, which may include:

   • increased heart rate;
   • difficulty breathing;
   • dizziness;
   • heavy sweating;
   • overwhelming panic and anxiety;
   • the need to disappear;
   • feeling of detachment;
   • feeling like you might faint or die;
   • a feeling of powerlessness over your fear, even if you know it is irrational.

2. Think about any traumatic events. If you are involved in a car accident, driving can be a scary and intimidating experience that you will try to avoid. Perhaps you were mugged on your way home one day, and the thought of returning home after work automatically triggers panic. There are many ways to deal with fears, and naturally, these include avoiding any traumatic events.

   • Although fear is an adequate response of the body to various traumatic events and situations, some of them are simply inevitable. Recognize that your fear is real and the problem needs to be addressed.

3. Think about how many fears come from childhood. You may be very afraid of snakes, but you cannot even understand where this fear comes from. Some studies suggest that fears can arise in childhood, and children can adopt them from their parents through a special “biological” connection. Other data suggests that children “process” information about the world around them, and they develop certain fears and concerns because they observe different events that may pose a threat. By observing how adults interact with some object or situation, the child learns to create associations, among which is the association “scary” or “potentially dangerous” (regardless of the actual risk).

   Recognize that it is normal to be afraid of something. Fear is an adaptive property of our body, which in some way prolongs our life. Do you feel fear when you approach the edge of a cliff? This is an adaptive fear, and it seems to tell you: “This is very dangerous and can cost you your life! Be careful!" It is fear that causes the “fight or flight” response in our body, and this reaction prepares our body for the actions necessary to protect itself.

   • Understand that fear can be quite beneficial, remember the positive protective role it plays.

   Part 2

   Learn to deal with your fear

   1. Acknowledge your specific fears. It's easy to ignore or deny your fears, even to yourself. But you can't turn on courage until you face your fear. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to taking control of the situation.

      • Name your fear. Sometimes fear makes itself known instantly and very clearly, but there are times when it is difficult to understand the anxious feelings that are hidden in the depths of our mind. Try to “pull out” your fear and name it. This can be a specific fear (for example, a fear of cats) or situational (for example, a fear of being called to the board).
      • Don't judge your fears. Acknowledge your feelings without dividing them into “good” and “bad.”

   2. Understand triggers. Is it something obvious, like a snake on the road? Perhaps when you walk past your guidance counselor's door at work, you immediately remember walking down the halls in high school? Find out what exactly is causing your fear. The better you understand and acknowledge your fear, the easier it will be to fight it.

      Ask yourself how much is this fear holding you back and controlling you? Because of your fear, you are forced to stay at home instead of going to the lesson that you are terribly afraid of? Can't see your relatives because you're afraid to fly? Find out how strong your fear is, how much it controls your mind and your life.

   3. Visualize your desired outcome. Now that you are more aware of your fear, think about what you would like to change. Think about how you will live without this fear. How are you feeling? For example:

      • If your fear is commitment, imagine a happy relationship with your partner.
      • If your fear is heights, imagine going on a hike. Try to feel a sense of accomplishment.
      • If you are afraid of spiders, imagine that you saw a spider, but took it calmly.

   Part 3

   Face your fears head on

   1. Learn to recognize false beliefs. Many fears are based precisely on false beliefs or catastrophic thinking. That is, when you see a spider, you may immediately think that this spider will definitely harm you, and you may even die because of it. Learn to identify such thinking patterns and challenge them. Find more information about your fear on the Internet and understand that the actual risk is several times less than you think. Recognize that even the worst-case scenario is unlikely. Start reorganizing your thoughts so that you don't engage in catastrophic thinking, start interacting with those thoughts.

      • When fear arises, pause and think about the actual risk. Revisit your negative thoughts and false beliefs and say, “I accept the fact that some dogs are very aggressive, but most dogs are affectionate and kind creatures. It’s unlikely they’ll bite me.”

   2. Try to practice gradual interaction. Once you become aware of your fears and false beliefs, begin to intentionally and gradually confront those fears. Often we are afraid of something because we have hardly experienced it. “Fear of the unknown” is a commonly used phrase that describes the feelings of people who have just encountered something new.

      • If you are afraid of dogs, start small: find an image of a cartoonish, stupidly painted dog on the Internet. Look at the image until you feel no fear.
      • Then look at a photo of a real dog, then do the same with a video. Study different images of dogs until you feel the fear is gone.
      • Then go to a park where owners often walk their dogs and watch the animals until you are no longer afraid.
      • Go visit a friend who has a dog. Observe his interactions with your pet until you feel calm.
      • Ask a friend if you can pet his dog while he plays with it. Pet the animal until you are no longer afraid.
      • Finally, the final step: stay with the dog and spend the whole day alone with the animal.

   3. Try to face your fear more and more often. The power that awareness of your emotions gives you is very important for understanding yourself and your feelings and sensations. Additionally, exposing yourself to fear and intentionally verbalizing your fears gives you tremendous power and helps you combat fear and control your emotions. There have been a number of studies that have looked at the fear of spiders. Participants who acknowledged their fears (“I'm really afraid of this spider”) and interacted with the spider once showed much less fear when seeing another spider the following week.

      • Running from fear will not help you get rid of it. The next time you feel afraid, try to delve into it, using words that help you describe your fear and anxiety.

   4. Learn relaxation techniques. When your body experiences fear, many triggers prepare your body for the fight-or-flight response. Learn to anticipate this response in advance and counter it using relaxation techniques. Relaxation helps you understand that you are safe and not in danger. In addition, relaxation will help cope with anxiety and stress.

      • Try breathing exercises. Focus on your breathing and begin to count each inhalation and exhalation: inhale for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds. Once you feel comfortable, begin inhaling and exhaling for 6 seconds.
      • If you notice that your muscles are tense, try to focus on relaxing them. One way to do this is to tense all the muscles in your body for three seconds and then relax them. Do this exercise two or three times to relax your entire body.

   Reduce the power of fear. Fear can be incredibly powerful in life-or-death situations. People who have been subjected to such fear talk about the feeling of “time slowing down”; at such moments they feel a special surge of energy and instinctively know what to do. While other physiological processes take only half a second to trigger a reaction in the body, the fear system works much faster. Fear also numbs the feeling of pain.

   • Understanding the positive aspects of fear will help you use this emotion to your advantage. For example, many people experience stage fright, but this fear can help you improve your productivity and focus on what's in front of you at the moment. Learn to recognize and be aware of your fear, direct it to where it will be most useful.
   • Most people feel fear before an event, but once they experience the event, they no longer feel fear. Remember that fear heightens all your senses, so you can complete a certain task more efficiently and effectively.

4. Start seeing opportunities in fear. Fear can be used as a tool to help us identify problems and solve them effectively. This is a guide, a red flag that warns us that some event or matter requires special attention. Once the initial discomfort of fear has passed, try to better understand your fear to see what you can learn from it.

   • When you feel afraid of something unfamiliar, take it as a sign that you need to get to know the person or situation better.
   • If you feel a twinge of fear about an upcoming event, create an action plan to ensure you are fully prepared for the event. For example, you can write down your steps on paper, you can rehearse before a performance, or you can work on developing your speech.

• Consider consulting a psychologist if you feel like your fears are taking over you and your life. A qualified specialist will help you understand the sources of your fears and come up with ways to combat them.
• Use your imagination to calm yourself rather than scare yourself further.
• Don't give up! Fighting fear requires courage and energy. When you experience failure, it can be tempting to give up trying. But be determined and persistent, even when it seems impossible.

Warnings

• Never do anything too dangerous to face your fear. Be sure to take care of your safety when facing your fears.

One way to overcome shyness and fear of communicating with people is to go out in public. Memorize a short poem (copy it on paper, save it in notes on your smartphone, if you’re really scared) and read it.

Do it in front of your friends and family first, then try going out in front of strangers. Read expressively without lowering your head. So that you can be heard. Bring a friend with you and let him be your support group.

You will notice that many people will smile and some will stop to listen. Others simply won’t pay attention to you - so is it worth worrying about?

If the fear is that others notice all the minor flaws, it is unjustified. You notice much more about yourself than others.

Try on a different look

Do you have a favorite movie or book character who has no problem communicating with people? Transform yourself into him for one day. Become an actor and step out of your role.

It's difficult, but imagine that you just have to play this role. To make it easier, think like this: “Even if someone thinks something bad, it will not apply to me, but to my image.”

Approach strangers with a request or question

Go to a shopping mall or other crowded place and set yourself the task of approaching 20 people within three minutes of each other and asking them something like what time it is. A simple question that anyone can answer for you.

You can try something more challenging next time. For example, ask for help fastening a chain around your neck or for a friend who lives in another country. You'll be surprised how many people will be happy to help you.

But don't forget that you don't need any extra stress. If you can't approach the person for more than a few minutes, switch to something else, but don't give up.

Walk a little and return to the exercise. With each new person it will become easier for you to do it.

Attend a crowded event

Go to a concert of a musical artist (it is advisable that the artist is interesting to you). Dance, treat your idol's fans to drinks and make new acquaintances. This is much easier if you already have a topic of conversation and common interests.

Say hello to strangers

Say good morning when you go get coffee before work. Find out how the cashier at your store went about their day if you went grocery shopping in the evening.

If there are no problems with this, try saying hello to someone passing by. Most likely, you will be answered with a greeting in return: what if you made a mistake? And for you, this is a small step towards overcoming.

Do something that seems absurd to you

If you are afraid of looking stupid because you will say or do something wrong, try doing it on purpose.

The simplest thing is to wear different socks. And let it be visible to everyone. It is already more difficult to consciously say or do something stupid. Decide what seems awkward to you, choose the right place and time and do it. Just remember that everything must be within the law.

Get to know yourself

Set a goal for yourself: to meet five people in an evening. Go to a bar, go to an exhibition or a museum and strike up a conversation with someone.

You can prepare a conversation plan in advance. If this is an exhibition, the task becomes even simpler: share your impressions and find out what your interlocutor thinks.

Again, you don't need an extra one. If you don't usually feel comfortable interrupting a conversation (even though you want to), set a time limit. Let it be five minutes, after which you firmly but politely tell your interlocutor: “It was nice to meet you, but I have to go. Thank you for your time."

Think through possible scenarios

You have already imagined the most pleasant thing that happened to you. Now we need to think about the opposite.

Remember the most stressful and difficult situation in your life related to communication. For example, an unsuccessful public speaking. Now imagine what you would do to save the situation if you went back in time.

This exercise will help you prepare for an upcoming important event. Think through different options: what could go wrong, what difficulties await. Remember everything you did before to take into account mistakes and avoid making them in the future.

Give compliments

Say nice things to people. If you see someone wearing a nice sweater, give them a compliment and find out, for example, where they can buy one. The person will be pleased, and you will understand that starting a conversation is not so difficult.

If your coworker has a new haircut, let him know you noticed. Praise the artist if you really liked it, but don't overdo it. Crude flattery is always obvious, so be sincere.

Rehearse in front of the mirror

Stand in front of the mirror and rehearse the upcoming dialogue. It is important to watch your body language. Smile, be yourself and watch what you are doing.

Practice several times daily until you see confidence in your actions. For example, look at the speeches of public people: how they speak, gesture and behave in general.

It's normal to be afraid. However, you can overcome fear if you want to. In difficult situations, it is always better to consult a psychologist, but if you are confident that you can handle it yourself, try it and aim for success. Everything will work out.