Relationships between people are not always built absolutely smoothly - sometimes clashes, differences of opinion, and conflicts occur. This can be very unpleasant. Also, all this can develop into a very serious problem, especially if the conflict occurs with a loved one. If you quarrel with a friend or colleague, it will not cause you as many difficulties as if you quarreled with your wife. Many men often have to wonder how to make peace with their wife after a quarrel? Scandals often arise for seemingly very insignificant reasons. Some people argue that quarrels happen in absolutely all families. In any case, a quarrel is not the end of a marriage, and if it is important for you to save your family, then you need to learn how to make peace with your wife.
I would like to immediately make a reservation: there is absolutely nothing humiliating in being the first to put up. It is wrong to assume that a man who thinks about how to make peace with his wife first is doing something that belittles his dignity. Anyone who tries to stick out his pride does not show any super-remarkable qualities. Perhaps when it comes to relationships with strangers, this may be useful, but not when we are talking about relationships with loved ones. Perhaps, by being the first to reconcile, you will show not your weakness, but your prudence. Some psychologists say that it is better to do this to someone who is less furious at the moment, who is in a more adequate state.
When talking about how to make peace with your wife, they often pay attention to the fact that for many women not only dry logic, but also emotions are very important. That is, it is important not only that you apologize, but also what emotional background it will be colored with. You can do something romantic. For example, giving flowers is quite typical, but in any case it works flawlessly and improves your mood. Even an apology accompanied by a few gentle words can sometimes ease the path to reconciliation.
There are people who care what others think of them. They enjoy the opportunity to benefit from other people. Perhaps your wife is this person. In this case, you can apologize in some romantic way in front of other people. For example, send flowers to her work.
Figuring out how to make peace with your wife after a simple quarrel is not that difficult. In the end, nothing bad usually happens. This is much easier than figuring out how to make peace with your wife after cheating. In this case, you have much more serious problems, because your wife was betrayed by one of the people closest to her, that is, you. You have caused a very serious injury. It won't be easy to fix this. Of course, apologies and some unexpected outbursts of feelings are needed. It is important to regain trust, although it is not certain that this will happen. Make your life more open to her, never deceive her, even over trifles. Never give anyone a reason not to trust you again.
In addition, it is very important to show that you really need your wife, and you are not interested in anyone other than her. By cheating on her, you lodged in her, so you are obligated to return it to her. Talk about this more often, you need to make her feel that you don’t need anyone but her. Show that she is more important to you than everyone else by sacrificing something for her. For example, refuse to go somewhere to be with her, etc. Convince her that cheating is a terrible mistake that you will never make again.
In life, every person is imperfect, and, therefore, relationships between people cannot be completely smooth. Conflicts can always arise that must be overcome. Conflict should not be the reason for the end of a relationship if the relationship is truly valuable. You must be able to get over yourself, be able to forgive. At first it will seem extremely difficult, but the result will not keep you waiting.
A marital relationship is like a living organism. They differ in the individual characteristics of their partners, their communication styles and other details, but they all have the desire to thrive. Relationships need to be grown like a flower, supported, given food, fresh air, love. They need to be developed, moving from one stage to another. A quarrel between partners is a clear illustration of the stress that is necessary for both. This is an ambiguous episode of marriage, like a disease. A mild cold that goes away in a couple of days, an illness with complications, or even death – a divorce.
Ordinary quarrel
It is not so important who is the real culprit of the conflict. Most often, the guy makes the first step towards you. How to make peace with your wife? First you need to pause. Setting priorities and understanding reality takes time. It is better to announce the timeout openly:“We need to cool down now, when I return, we will discuss everything,”
“Honey, the last thing in the world I want to quarrel with you, I was probably wrong about something. I just want to say that I love you.”
At a distance, you both will put your thoughts in order. Let the wait be a few minutes, even hours. A pause that is too long will make the situation worse.
Further discussion. You should listen to your partner and speak out sincerely. If she is hot-tempered and hostile, you will have to make a huge effort on yourself to avoid a scandal. Make it clear: you understand her and are ready to compromise. What should I tell my wife to make peace?
“Darling, I realized everything, let’s not cut from the shoulder.”
My action was dictated by the fear of losing you forever and jealousy.
You are so dear to me. Sorry for the offensive words.
I love it when you smile, let's not cut from the shoulder.
I'm sorry this happened, please forgive me. I sincerely hope that there will be no more such unpleasant incidents and stories.
Forgive me and don’t be angry, dear.
Speak, convince, be persistent. Keep excessive emotionality, impulsiveness, and temper to yourself. Patience plus prudence is the best “healing” scheme. Tactile contact will firmly anchor the world. Hugs, kisses or passionate sex? The main thing is that the initiative is appropriate, mutual, and sincere.
If the wife doesn't want to talk
Often, by falling silent, the wife does not want to put up. Here are some ideas for reconciling with a silent person:- Letter of confession. Poems, prose, snippets of thoughts, handwritten. Let it be “10 reasons why”. You need to write about your feelings, extol your loved one in the message, do not spare compliments, beautiful, sincere words. And at the end, ask for forgiveness for your misconduct or rude words that were spoken during a quarrel.
- Flowers. While in the next room, you can call a courier with a huge bouquet of scarlet roses. Include a small card with short text: “I love you! I'm sorry." Send a gift to work, leave a basket on the hood of the car - there are plenty of options.
- SMS. Trite, but effective. Nice words and a creative approach will make almost every offended lady smile.
- Reunion through the baby.
- Turn the child into a messenger. After all, from his lips, “Please forgive me, dad” will sound more touching than his own “I’m sorry.”
- Joint creativity. A huge cake, a postcard, a drawing, a piece of homemade soap in the shape of a heart by the hands of a little creator will make a sad mother smile.
How can I atone for my guilt before you?
I beg you: just don’t be silent.
After all, I, driven by this guilt,
I know no peace during the day or at night.
To be able to forgive is a great art,
And we have the right to make mistakes.
But the one who still believes in the power of feeling,
Will give a loving heart a new chance.
How I want to return the minutes back,
To avoid all stupid mistakes...
Let's take a new route -
You can write another fairy tale!
You're sorry for what happened in the past,
I regret everything very much!
Let's think about good things
And let's start with a clean slate!
My heart is torn to pieces...
Forgive me!
Don't hold grudges in your heart
Just let go!
I didn't want this quarrel
I swear to you
Do you want me to get on my knees?
I'll apologize again!?
I ask you to forgive me
Don't be angry, no need
There is no need for such quarrels,
We will live together!
Serious quarrel
There are complex, almost insoluble stories when it is easier to break a relationship than to repair it. Is it worth putting up with your wife in such a situation? An unforgivable offense, a humiliating betrayal - an unambiguous breakup?
They say infidelity is not forgiven. But life is so multifaceted that you have to make decisions that completely contradict your own feelings. It happens that a person is forced to forgive. Circumstances, children, powerful feelings... How to achieve forgiveness? How to make peace with an insulted wife after an accidental betrayal?
Much depends on you. When deciding to return the former favor of a loved one, the offender must pay careful attention to the smallest details.
Stages of reunification after a strong quarrel:
- COLD REASON. Cool down and decide to resume the relationship.
- SINCERE RECOGNITION. Don't play around, don't lie, be completely honest. Lies will ruin all your efforts; sincerity is your main trump card. Talk eye to eye about your “feat”, feelings of guilt, anxiety, regret. Choose your words carefully and emphasize that you are ready for revelation:
“I understand how I offended you. I really want to fix everything. Ready to listen and answer any question.”
“Darling, I understand that I hurt you, I myself am tired of these lies. I really want to fix everything.” - REGRET. Something irreparable has happened and it is impossible to rewind the film. But expressing repentance about this is the easiest thing to do. Three times honesty, faith in victory. It is important to look convincing: the outcome of the story depends on how well the conversation is structured.
- RETURN OF PREVIOUS TRUST. It's difficult, but you can try. Eliminate all contacts with your ex-girlfriend (from virtual to real) that cause jealousy. If necessary, change your job or environment so as not to meet that passion, and to prove to your wife that you will not return to your previous “relationship”. Cross out and put an end to “those” relationships!
- ROMANTIC MOOD. Show miracles of sensitivity, charm, and ingenuity. To surprise, delight, extol is the task of a guilty man. Try to restore warm intimacy.
Talk more often about how your wife is beautiful, cooks deliciously, and is a good mother. But beautiful words alone are not enough. Take the trouble to surprise with flowers and your favorite candies. Take on some of the responsibilities around the house; help with even something minor will help.
- Deed. From an enchanting original surprise to a simple, but very welcome one. This could be an orchestra with guest musicians, fireworks under the windows, or a gold decoration - a sign of recognition. Here, a lot depends on imagination, activity, the truth of feelings, and the size of your wallet. Although the cost of the event is often not important. Sometimes a poem read from the heart will outshine hundreds of paper bills.
- Transition to a new stage. During a romantic period, a guy may suggest moving in together: living together, sharing one bed, and then getting married. A married man can talk about his dream of having children (second, third, fourth). Move to a new apartment, change city, country. Perhaps get married. Of course, fateful decisions must be made carefully and responsibly.
- Change of scenery. This option will defuse the high tension of two loving hearts. It’s amazing how easy it is to take a walk through the streets at night and take it out into the countryside. If possible, go on a trip to the cities of your native country, to the shores of the warm sea. Moving away from the familiar, destructive: everyday life, everyday life, causes of quarrels, vanity. A couple in love will again plunge into an atmosphere of uncontrollable passion.
Common mistakes
- The best defense is attack? In this case, this is the worst model of behavior to shield yourself. It’s disgusting to get personal, to point out obvious shortcomings in appearance, household management, raising children, to hit one’s pride (“you’re a slob,” “a bad housewife,” “this is all because our relationship has become boring and has outlived its usefulness”). . By protecting yourself in this way, you wipe your feet on your own creation.
- Child manipulation. Call for peace, affecting the interests of the baby. Public quarrels (fights) and showdowns will not bring the desired results, but will bring you even closer to divorce.
Never involve your own children in your swearing! Do not speculate on them, since in this situation they are already worse off than everyone else. No matter what happens, they don't deserve to suffer. They love both mom and dad and just want to see them nearby, to feel that all is well in their world.
- Escaping reality. Offend, yell, and then go on a binge out of grief. Drinking a lot, regular drinking is a 100% way to lose the remnants of respect.
- At the moment when a woman seems wrong to you, ask yourself: “Do I want to hurt my beloved?” Irritation and anger are a bad ally. You should not offend, hurt your loved one, or swear.
- A sober approach. Controlling your emotions and restraining your anger is the golden rule for those who want to live happily ever after in a legal marriage. Humiliation, a journey through the weaknesses of a loved one - low. The sediment, the most vivid words will remain in the memory for a long time, like scars. At the wrong moment they will break out, destroying harmony.
- Make peace after the passions have subsided. Having calmed down, it is easier to find a common language than being angry.
- Immediately stop provoking quarrels. It’s easy to turn a dangerous, alarming moment into a joke or play with a compliment. After all, any everyday turmoil may lead to a new scandal in the future.
If, for example, you scattered your socks and your spouse starts swearing again, jokingly answer that you just love watching her delightfully bend over to pick them up from the floor.
- Say no to comparisons. You are not Vanya, not Petya’s best friend. And your wife is not their wife. And if your friends often tell how one hit his wife, and nothing happened after that, another practices humiliation in communication, etc., there is no need to reach up to the “bar” of your friends, leave their negative exploits alone. After all, every woman knows her worth, and if the spouses of friends are ready to tolerate such treatment, let them suffer. And your wife probably doesn't deserve this. Love and appreciate your family. Live your life.
- Relationships are a 24/7 job, tireless work. Find compromises, make concessions, remember that a bad peace is better than any war. Learn to live in harmony with yourself and your environment.
Only by holding hands tightly can you walk the colorful, bright, extraordinary path of life into a bright future. Many live floating with the flow, while others set the direction for their own ocean of love. Pictures of waves, a quiet pier with a cozy house on the sandy shore. Conflict is just a disease. To heal, get better, or kill a relationship is the will of a person, a creator, an artist.
Even with the best relationships between people, quarrels periodically break out and conflicts arise, which, as such, are difficult to avoid unless you know and adhere to certain rules. And most importantly, you need to learn how to skillfully get out of the psychological state that leads to conflict.
Having become adults and independent, people often lose the ability to forget quarrels and grievances, which in childhood most often disappeared from memory very quickly. But that was so long ago, and in adult life, a state of irritation, anger, outbursts of emotions settle in the soul for a long time, poisoning life, increasing blood pressure, provoking the occurrence of diseases against their background and causing a state of depression.
But what to do, how to make peace after a quarrel? You should remember everything that was discussed, analyze your state of mind and objectively evaluate the arguments of each side in the dispute.
And if a quarrel has already occurred, then the main thing here is not to rush to take any steps. After all, reconciliation, restoration of mutual sympathy and trust, a feeling of joy, not disappointment, takes time, and the real art of reconciliation requires serious work on oneself and one’s character. We must also not forget that even if one side wants reconciliation, the other does not necessarily want it and is ready for it.
First of all, you should not continue with silent stubbornness that demonstrates resentment. You need to find the courage to apologize, even if you were perhaps right a hundred times, to express regret about what happened. This will “melt the ice” - the heart of a very offended person and give him a feeling of joy, delight and peace.
Many men intuitively understand how to make peace after a quarrel - this is repentance, asking for forgiveness, sex. If you have done something very wrong, then you need a gift for your loved one. After this, almost all grievances are forgiven. But some do not take this step because of stubbornness or fear of bending in front of a woman. This is their mistake.
Sincerity of feelings and trust will be restored if people find the strength, under convenient circumstances, to calmly, without emotions and without mutual claims, discuss what happened.
But this method is not always acceptable, since it can often lead to a protracted quarrel, but in case of business disagreements, it will come in handy to prevent a similar situation in the future.
The main thing in relationships between people is to avoid negative outbursts of emotions, thoughtless statements or claims, or taking out your bad mood on your interlocutor.
If you are in a bad mood, it is better to be alone in a state of rest, listen to your favorite music or watch a good movie. And if a mental surge of negativity arose spontaneously, then you should close your eyes, count to ten in your head, imagine yourself as a happy and prosperous person enjoying life, and this will immediately stop any negative manifestations: a showdown, sarcasm or causticism, the desire to hurt the ego of your interlocutor.
You should learn to give in wisely, without fear of appearing cowardly or unprincipled in the eyes of your interlocutor; this puts an intelligent and reasonable person in an advantageous position, capable of understanding, accepting and admitting his own wrongness and the opinion of his interlocutor.
First, men and women make up a little differently.
First, if you want to make peace with your husband, then you need to take into account the difference in the psychology of men and the psychology of women. After a quarrel, it is better to leave a man alone, let him be silent, or even better, send him for a short walk. If possible, ask for forgiveness before walking. After walking for a couple of hours, a man, especially if the woman asked for forgiveness, can return as if the quarrel never happened.
Even if the man did not “go” for a walk anywhere and is silent, do not take this as a continuation of the quarrel. As a rule, this is absolutely not the case. When alone, a man usually comes to his senses and in his mind gradually makes peace with you. This, of course, is not a matter of five minutes, but the process is underway.
The peculiarity of the female psyche is that she perceives a silent man after a quarrel as a person who is deliberately silent in order to manipulate the woman, to show what he is like, etc. But men very, very rarely do this. I repeat once again that a man’s silence does not mean anything and does not mean that he wants to influence you in some negative way.
Second. If a woman said some words like “Let’s get a divorce,” etc., then after some time it is necessary to say that she did not say this seriously, but just wanted to “get through” to the man so that he would understand something , at least somehow attract his attention to yourself and the problem. Men have a completely different attitude towards phrases like “Let's get a divorce” and take them seriously. And if you don’t explain to them what you meant, then don’t be surprised if after a few days the man himself starts talking about divorce.
If a man wants to make peace with his wife, leaving the woman alone after a quarrel is not a good idea. If you are silent for a couple of hours or take a walk somewhere, thinking like an ordinary man that “let the woman calm down a little,” then after these two hours you can see your beloved in such a state that both you and her will need to be calmed down for another couple of weeks. Therefore, advice for men: “If you quarrel, then do not leave your beloved alone, no matter what she tells you” (in the sense of “get away from me,” “go further away,” etc.). There are, of course, exceptions when a woman actually calms down when left alone after a quarrel, but this is rather an exception.
Accordingly, whoever is more sane at the time of a quarrel should take responsibility for “putting out the fire.” Sometimes let the man take a walk and be alone, and the woman herself will calm down. And sometimes a man needs to first calm down his beloved, and only then go to calm down himself.
Secondly, advice for both men and women. As soon as the quarrel subsides a little, hug each other.
Our body and our mood are very closely interconnected. It is impossible to hug and quarrel for a long time. Of course, in the first minute or two it will seem that hugging is artificial and even unpleasant, but literally after a couple of minutes, resentments and quarrels will begin to leave you and you will feel how stupid it was to quarrel and hurt each other.
I repeat that you can hug only if the quarrel has already passed its peak. If a woman and a man are still throwing plates, then it’s clearly too early to hug. And of course, you don’t have to just hug. Any joint action that is incompatible with a quarrel can lead to its end. For some it may be a dinner together, for others a walk, for others something else.
Thirdly, learn to control yourself at least a little during a quarrel.
This advice is no longer about how to make peace, but about how to quarrel correctly. Control yourself during a quarrel at least a little. In family life, quarrels will periodically arise, no matter what you say to each other after them (never, last time, etc.). Accordingly, you need to learn to at least slightly control your behavior during a quarrel.
Some tell me that they cannot do this, that during a quarrel they have absolutely no control over themselves. It even seems to me that they say this with pride. At one time I proudly said that I didn’t know how to use a computer, but now I don’t understand what I was especially proud of.
Therefore, if you don’t know how to control yourself during a quarrel, then this is normal for the beginning of family life, but at the same time there is nothing to be particularly proud of here. Visualize an argument where you behave completely differently, much calmer. During a conflict, try not to say anything that you will greatly regret in the future. Sooner or later you will definitely succeed a little.
Why is this so important? One or two unnecessary words during a quarrel can cost you several days, weeks or even months of damaged relationships (not to mention a breakup). Accordingly, you need to learn not to say this one or two extra words during a quarrel.
Then it will be much easier to make peace with your husband (wife). He wrote that it would be much easier to make peace, but how little this reflects the truth. N A M N O G O It’s simpler, it might be clearer.
Fourth, don’t tell anyone that you had a fight..
Quite important advice for married couples, which I myself have lived through my own experience several times, and I do not advise you to repeat my experience in this area.
Let's say you quarreled and then made up. It's quite simple. You don’t need to agree on anything with anyone, you don’t need to think about someone’s opinion of you, you don’t need to think about any consequences. Well, we quarreled, then made up, a common thing in a family. (Well, maybe not very common, but it happens).
Now let’s say that several female friends, several male friends, female relatives, male relatives, neighbors, work colleagues of husband and wife, dogs, cats and other pets know about your quarrel. How to reconcile now?
It just seems like nothing has changed. In fact, everything has changed and very much. More or less, those around you now influence your behavior. Let’s say that friends and relatives found out that a woman (or a man, it doesn’t matter) in a fit of quarrel told his other half that he was leaving, getting a divorce, etc. Now it’s not so easy to make peace. If a man said this and then changed his mind, what might his friends think of him? That he is “talking”, throwing words around left and right, etc. (they probably don’t care, but such thoughts will put pressure on a man and a woman). I'm not saying that the spouses won't make peace, but it will be a little more difficult. And sometimes the fate of a relationship is decided by this very small “somewhat more complicated.”
And one more small moment. If your parents know about your quarrel, then after it they will obviously treat your spouse a little worse than before. It is possible that they will already think that this is not exactly your half, but one of the possible husbands (wives). It is possible that they will no longer be very friendly to your spouse, it is possible that they will already notice more shortcomings than advantages, perhaps they themselves will talk about the need to separate, even when you have already made peace a hundred times, etc. This also has a pretty strong impact on family relationships, not in the best way, believe me.
Therefore, if you want to make peace with your husband (wife) faster, then do not tell others about your quarrels.
Fifthly, both women and men can take the initiative in reconciliation.
I always say that a woman should not take the initiative in relationships with men, but in reconciliation this rule does not fully apply. A quarrel for a young man (who has no experience of family life) is not quite a showdown like for a woman, but practically a “war.” He may not agree to reconciliation himself if he does not understand that quarrels are a common thing for women.
Then a very good action would be for a woman to ask for forgiveness, even if she is right. But this, of course, does not mean that you need to run after a man and beg for forgiveness. I meant “I’m sorry, I was wrong” with words, SMS, etc., the sooner the better. And then, when a man begins to rumble about how right he is, then agree with him a few more times and the quarrel is over. Now you don’t have to apologize for two weeks in a row.
Well, as the relationship develops, you need to gradually shift this “pleasant” duty of asking for forgiveness onto the man. It's not as difficult as it seems. At least it was easy for my wife.
Sixth, don't argue with a man.
Arguing is a strategy for men in relationships with men. If a woman starts to argue, then it is moderately feminine, rarely effective, and even if it gives some effect, it is short-lived.
But a happy family life is impossible with constant disputes. In addition, disputes themselves are often the cause of quarrels and intensify them if they arose for other reasons.
The ability to argue less can be learned. This skill is usually much easier for women than for men. This is a very useful skill not only in the family, but also in life. Therefore, learn not to argue unnecessarily, and your relationships in the family and with others (clients, relatives, etc.) will improve significantly.
Learn not to argue with a man, and you will become more feminine, it will be easier to make peace with your husband and, perhaps, your relationships with other people will improve.
Seventh, work on your touchiness.
Some families don't seem to quarrel that often. But if they quarrel, they linger over these grievances for many years. (Or one of the spouses).
It’s a paradox, but dwelling on the insults that have been inflicted on you gives some kind of satisfaction. However, for a happy family life, just happiness, health, etc. this habit is completely destructive.
After all, it is very difficult for your spouse to live happily with you if you constantly remember the grievances inflicted on you many weeks, months or even years ago. In this case, it does not matter at all whether these offenses actually occurred, whether you are justifiably offended, etc.
I'm not saying you can't get a little offended. But for many years? No need.
In summary, quarrels are what lead to the destruction of relationships. Quarrels, their frequency and strength are a very good indicator of family life. If there are a lot of quarrels and they are strong, then family relations are bad. Knowing how to make peace with your husband (wife) after quarrels is very important for family life, but they are still secondary.
After all, we make peace after a quarrel. But isn’t it wiser to make sure that quarrels are less frequent and less intense? After all, most often quarrels are just a symptom that something is wrong in the family. That there is some reason for conflicts, without removing which they will constantly repeat, intensify and destroy relationships.
These reasons are usually not always obvious and should not be confused with reasons. For example, if the cause of a quarrel is the sexual dissatisfaction of the spouses, then anything can be the reason for the conflict. This could be an incorrectly placed shoe, a poorly tied bag of garbage, the way one of the spouses eats, sleeps, moves, etc.
If the cause is not removed (in this example, sexual dissatisfaction), then the quarrels will be repeated and repeated in different ways. And working on a consequence, for example, developing the habit of carefully tying a garbage bag, will not lead to anything good. Tomorrow there will be another reason, and the day after tomorrow another one.
This means that reconciliation techniques are great, but you need to learn how to eliminate the causes of quarrels. I will write how to do this a little later in the second part.
How to make peace with your wife
Difficulties in relationships
How to make peace with your wife
Every relationship in the world, whether friendly or family, can be at risk of quarrel. After which we have to resolve the conflict and make peace, or leave. You must be able to predict controversial situations and try to avoid them. Therefore, we invite you to get acquainted with several tips on the topic: how to make peace with your wife after a quarrel.
Remember that respect is the key to success in any marriage. Simply helping with daily chores can show great respect for your wife. And it is very difficult for a woman to strictly judge someone who cares about her.
Don't forget about compliments too. They show a woman that she is still valued and loved. Compliments create a positive atmosphere and give a woman more confidence. Remember, the best compliment is not spoken with words, it is shown with your emotions. Learn to make surprised eyes and an amazed look. Any woman will appreciate this.
Talk to her. Spend enough time with her, talk to her, don’t be afraid to find out her opinion on a number of issues. Always remember that communication is a key part of any relationship, without it there will always be misunderstandings and quarrels. So take the time to talk to your wife. In any case, this will help you make the right decision.
Give her a gift. After an argument, you will often receive a cold shoulder. Your wife will refuse to sleep in the same bed or even in the same room with you. You will often have to eat alone. To overcome this barrier between you, you need to surprise your wife. Leave a bouquet of flowers with an apology on her bed or nightstand, or stop by her place of work with flowers and chocolates. Any girl will be pleased with this, even if she knows that you are buttering up.
Write her a letter. It is much easier to explain your feelings in a letter than to say them to your wife directly to her face. Explain to her that you are sincerely sorry and you want to make peace with her. Your wife will definitely be glad to receive such a letter, and this will help her forgive you more quickly. But there is no need to show your weakness. You apologize, but don't crawl at your feet.
Ask her out on a date. One of the most effective ways to make peace with your wife is to redo your relationship from the beginning. So try to win her over again and ask her out as if you just met the girl you fell in love with. Treat her like a princess and ask her to dance. This will allow good memories to surface and she will forgive you.
Whatever the reasons for the quarrel, if you use these tips, you can count on a quick reconciliation. Disputes often occur in families when both spouses stand on their own two feet. So quarreling is quite normal for any family. Remember, women do not want to think logically and look for the culprit of the quarrel. In any case, try to make peace first if your wife perceives this adequately. If she begins to be capricious and show her leading position, this is a reason to think about whether it is necessary to put up at all.
After you have already made peace, pay attention to what was the reason for your quarrel. If you can eliminate the irritating factor, then in the future you will not have to quarrel with your wife.
Dear readers! We will be very grateful if you share with us your life experiences or comments related to this topic.
This will help:
How to Improve Relationships: The Ultimate Guide
Type:E-book
Price: Paid version
Imagine that you woke up early in the morning and your woman has already prepared breakfast for you. Joy is visible in her eyes, she is happy that she lives with the best man in the world. She is ready to listen to all your stories, she is ready to support you in any situation. She knows that a man needs to relax, she is ready to give you her tenderness and love. This is what your relationship can be if you are strong. We can teach you this!
Brief description
Every relationship sooner or later reaches a dead end when only one option is visible - to break up. And it depends only on the man’s competent actions whether he can maintain the relationship, or whether he will have to let his woman go. The problem with many men is that they do not know how to behave in order for a woman to be satisfied with them. And in this book we will teach men how to behave so that relationships never deteriorate.
The situation when a woman has completely lost respect for her man seems no less difficult. No understanding, no sympathy, no sex and affection. Only some reproaches and complaints that she got involved with a loser who is worth nothing.
Many may think that all women behave this way. That such behavior cannot be avoided after being married for 5-10 years, but this is not true! It all depends on the man’s position: how he will place himself in a relationship and how he will behave with a woman.
If a man can show his strength, a woman will begin to respect, appreciate and love him. And this is the main path to a stable and happy relationship. And every man can achieve this, regardless of his appearance, income level and physical fitness.
Family life, like the flow of a river, is sometimes slow and calm, but after some time it can make a sharp turn and carry you to rapids, riffles, or a waterfall.
Throughout your life together, you may have many small disputes and quarrels. This is natural, since where the interests and worldviews of two people meet, a conflict may arise.
However, these minor problems cannot cause divorce unless they become permanent or a truly major scandal occurs.
It should also be taken into account that you perceive many things differently. Your understanding of the situation may be the opposite in the woman's eyes. Most quarrels can arise due to your inattention and unwillingness to listen to your wife’s “stupid thoughts.”
After a conflict or major quarrel, you may hear that your wife is going to get a divorce. What to do in such a situation and how to behave?
- Establish the cause of the quarrel;
- Determine who is to blame for this conflict;
- Find ways to reconcile.
The number of reasons can be enormous. From the simplest insult to your behavior, to assault, or betrayal. Let us separately dwell on the most significant reasons and consider possible options for resolving conflicts.
Scandal
A quarrel or scandal can break out out of nowhere. But, this is just your point of view. On your wife's part, the reason for the scandal is justified. Try not to be led by anger and irritation, because in an impulse you can say a lot of unpleasant things.
Immediately after a quarrel, do not try to make peace; your wife and you need to calm down. Remember your loved one’s accusations against you and analyze them.
Knowing the main reasons for the quarrel, it will be easier for you to answer the question of how to make peace with your wife if it comes to divorce. Plan your conversation and choose a time when you two can talk calmly.
You can choose neutral territory, especially if after a quarrel your significant other packed up and left. Listen carefully to the woman’s arguments without interrupting, and then tell her your vision of the situation. Apologize sincerely and say that you will try to improve. You can also give a small gift.
Heavy alcohol intoxication
A very ugly situation is committing any offenses while heavily intoxicated. Alcohol can turn a decent person into a beast.
By getting drunk to the point of losing your memory, you are no longer responsible for your actions, thereby you can destroy any relationship forever.
Let's consider two situations separately:
- One-time consumption of alcohol. When you wake up in your home in the morning, you may not fully understand the complexity of the situation. Get yourself in order and try to remember the events of last night. You could simply speak rudely to your wife and blame her. It is much worse if, while drinking, you pestered other girls, got into a fight, hit your wife, or used force on her. When starting a conversation in the morning, listen carefully to your woman and sincerely ask for forgiveness. Even if they don’t want to talk to you, apologize for your behavior and promise that it won’t happen again.
- Systemic intake of alcohol. Your lifestyle constantly puts your wife under stress. Systematic drunkenness is a disease that needs to be fought. If the situation does not change, then life together can be given up. Breaking a bad habit can be difficult. Break off relationships with friends and drinking buddies, try to see a psychologist and start working on yourself. If you value your family, change, get rid of bad habits.
Treason
This is a kind of betrayal. For many, this is the end of everything and a direct indication of divorce. It will be very difficult, almost impossible, to return to the old relationship.
There are two situations and, accordingly, two models of behavior:
- My husband cheated. A lot may depend on your future behavior. The situation is not like a simple quarrel, and here you need to act quickly and correctly, before the woman files for divorce. Break off any relationships and ties with your mistress. Apologize sincerely and try to convey to your wife your feelings and thoughts when you realize what you have done. Don't try to put pressure on a woman and make her choose. Your words: “If you don’t come back, I will commit suicide,” or “If you can’t forgive me, leave” will only make the situation worse. Try to talk to her parents and friends, admitting your guilt and telling how bad and lonely you feel without her. If you have achieved annulment of the divorce, then try to spend all your free time with your wife, removing suspicions from yourself. Be prepared that your betrayal will more than once be her argument in your disputes.
- My wife cheated. First ask yourself if you are ready to forgive and forget the betrayal of your loved one. Talk to your significant other and say that you can forgive and not remember the betrayal if it comes back. If such arguments are not convincing, and you still hope to return her, then be patient and do not rush into all seriousness. The appearance of a new girlfriend will only show that you are also fine without your “ex”.
Assault
You hit her. It doesn’t matter how it happened, as a result of a major quarrel, on the basis of betrayal, or due to alcohol intoxication. With your own hands you destroyed the image of the protector that the woman saw in you.
Try to sincerely apologize, promise to improve, and never raise your hand to her again. Repeated assault will completely destroy everything.
Summing up
When answering the question of how to make peace with your wife if it comes to divorce, you can highlight several key points. Try not to get angry when talking with your spouse, turning them into another argument.
The matter is heading towards divorce and, if you have a child, then your argument may be the desire to preserve a full-fledged family. If a woman has filed for divorce, offer to postpone the final decision and give you time to correct the situation.
