Several cool, funny skits that will help you amuse any audience.
"MISUNDERSTANDING" SCENE FOR TWO.
She: Hello!
Him: Hello!
She: What are you talking about?
Him: I carry different things.
She: Awkward? Why are they awkward?
Him: You yourself are absurd, as I can see. I carry different things. Different! Understood? Here, I bring chalk.
She: What did you fail?
Him: Leave me alone!
She: But you say “failed.” What did you fail?
Him: I’m bringing chalk!!! You need to listen. I'm carrying chalk. Mishka. He will need it.
She: Well, if his wife gets it for him, why are you talking about it?
Him: Wife? Which wife? Is this Mishka’s wife? Oh, you joker! I said: “He’ll have to.” It will be necessary, that is.
She: That's it!
Him: And I also have good news for Mishka: I found the brand that he had been looking for for so long.
She: Tamarka?
She: And nothing? Cute?
Him: Beautiful. So green.
She: Wait, wait... Is that her hair, green or something?
Him: Who has hair?
She: Yes, at Tamarka!
Him: Which Tamarka?
She: Well, you said it yourself: “Tamarka was found...”
Him: Ta! Mark! The brand, you know, that Mishka has been looking for for a long time. There's an arch drawn there!
She: Yeah! After all, Tamarka is drawn! Drawn, right? That's what I would say.
Him: Get rid of your Tamarka, you stupid head! The arch is drawn there! Arch! Can't you even understand this? I have no time!
She: Bye! Be careful not to lose your awkward things.
Him: Fuck you!
She: Yes! Stop, stop!
Him: Well, what else?
She: Say hi.
She: Knows who: Tamarka, Mishka and Mishka’s wife!
FUNNY SKETCH ABOUT SCHOOL
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage?”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, going to the garage is the preposition.
Teacher: Guys, who can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Tyulkina: There were no trees, bushes, or grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three?”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a KNITTING factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Teacher: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Rubashkin: What?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word dryish??
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat - dog.
Teacher: What does a cat and a dog have to do with it??
Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother fell ill.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a sentence with an appeal.
Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call!
ANNOYING CONSULTANT.
BUYER: Tell me, do you have a book? 100 Great Idols of the 20th Century??
CONSULTANT: She's been gone for a long time
BUYER: HUH? WE SPEAK RUSSIAN with Marina Koroleva??
CONSULTANT: No. But can I recommend? Dahl's EXPLANATORY DICTIONARY?
BUYER: I'm not interested. Is there a book? French??
CONSULTANT: There is no such thing
BUYER: Eh? TWILIGHT? for my daughter?
CONSULTANT: No either.
BUYER: Huh?
CONSULTANT: (interrupts) Do you have a book? How to leave the consultant and look for books yourself?
SKETCH ABOUT SCHOOL
Ivanov: Where are you going?
Sidorkin: I'll quit algebra! They will ask me, but I am not ready.
Ivanov: Come on! They ask those who have it written all over their faces? I’m not ready!?.
Sidorkin: You see!
Ivanov: So you have to act as if you are ready! Auto training!
Sidorkin: What?
Ivanov: Self-hypnosis! Repeat after me: I’m all ready for algebra!
Sidorkin: I’m all ready for algebra
Ivanov: I completed my homework!
Sidorkin: I did my homework
Ivanov: All three problems and five exercises!
Sidorkin: All three problems and five exercises! How many???
Ivanov: Don't get distracted
During auto-training, they did not notice how the teacher entered the class.
Teacher: Sidorkin, what do I hear, are you ready for the lesson?!! Go to the board.
Sidorkin confidently walks towards the board.
Sidorkin: I’m all ready for algebra! I did my homework! All three tasks and five exercises!
Teacher: Well, write exercise 87 on the board
Sidorkin: I did my homework! All three tasks and five exercises!
Teacher: I don’t understand anything! Show me your notebook!
Sidorkin carries a notebook. The teacher is watching.
Teacher: Sidorkin, Sidorkin! And how confidently he walked... Two! Sit down.
Sidorkin and Ivanov are sitting at a desk. There is a premonition of trouble on Sidorkin’s face.
Sidorkin: Eh, at home they’ll ask: “How was it at school?” - And I'm screwed.
Ivanov: We need auto-training. Repeat after me: I’m doing great in algebra! And good in physics! The glass broke on its own during recess!
Sidorkin: now I’ll hit you with an auto-trained hand
See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny skits are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be inserted into a magazine), and they only require a short time to rehearse. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also check out School Humor.
1. Sketch "At Russian language lessons"
Teacher: Let's see how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.
Student Ivanov (raises his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!
Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?
Student Sidorov: Because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?
Student Koshkin: I don’t know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.
Teacher: Guys, who can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a KNITTING factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: What?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat - dog.
Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?
Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother fell ill.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a sentence with an appeal.
Student Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call!
2. Sketch "Correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?
Student: No, I shouldn’t have plums.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don’t like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How many is correct?
Teacher: Now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Sketch "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the board and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”
A student writes from dictation on the board.
Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.
Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.
Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's it!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?
Student: Which one? Of course, an A!
Teacher: So, an A? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional form!
Teacher: In the prepositional form? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Sketch "At mathematics lessons"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Petrov, you have difficulty counting to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?
Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Student Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!
Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.
Disciple Petrov: I don’t have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don’t know math!
Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: Mom doesn’t have free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Student Shcherbinina: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov holds out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Student Petukhov: “Frog Traveler”
Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That’s what I see: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (coming to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Does that really happen?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I’m terribly worried that the bell might interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?
Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene “Folder under the mouse”
Vovka: Listen, I’ll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What’s so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.
Andrey (laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping his forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Sketch "3=7 and 2=5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: What?
Teacher: You haven’t done anything all year, you haven’t taught anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you talking about? What kind?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is that?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: Let’s take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. Is that also true?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: Let’s take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
8. Sketch "Schoolboy and salesman"
Characters: a schoolboy and a store sales assistant
Sales consultant: What can I tell you?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales consultant: I don’t know.
Schoolboy: Okay... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales consultant: ... (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales consultant: (sighing) I don’t know...
Schoolboy: Well, why are you bothering then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Sketch "Schoolchildren at the Stadium"
Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant
A group of young fans led by a leader loudly chants:
“SPA-RTAK IS A CHAMPION!” “SPA-RTAK IS A CHAMPION!”
Suddenly the voice of the stadium informant comes on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
“SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!” “SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!”
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Sketch “Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather”
Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello, Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Wow, things are going strong.
- What?
- Cool, I say, just one wick froze this. Rolls towards the cage. Let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And let him show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how it gets messy. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went crazy, and the bike booed. Laugh. Cool, right?
- Was there a horse there?
- Which horse?
- Well, the one who was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, didn’t you understand anything?
- Come on, let's do it all over again.
- Well, let's. So, one wick...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- What kind of wick is this?
- Well, one guy, a long one, rolled up to the sket...
-What did he ride up on, a bicycle?
- No, the skete had a bicycle.
- Which sket?
- Well, there's only one idiot. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a snob.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the shape of a snob. Well, let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he have an itch?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how did you saw it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, is it big?
- How?
- Well, this same schnobel?
- No, the cat had a snob. And the wick got a black eye, a blast hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He opened his mitten, and so he jerked.
- Why the mitten, did he get fussy in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher there.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But the very rolling of the bike made the bike whoop.
- How did you whoop?
- And so, I’m covered. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you don’t know the Russian language at all.
- I don’t know how!
- Can you imagine if everyone spoke like you, what would happen?
- What?
- Remember, at Gogol's. “Wonderful is the Dnieper in calm weather, when its full waters freely and smoothly rush through forests and mountains, neither rustling nor thundering. You look and don’t know whether its majestic width is moving or not” and further, “A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper.”
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your quirky language: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering and showing off, saws its cool waves through the forests and mountains. you don’t know whether he’s sawing or not. A rare bird with a shnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper, and if it finishes scratching, it will whoop and throw off its hooves.” Well, do you like it?
“I like it,” he said and ran, shouting: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather.”
(Lion Izmailov)
11. Young man in a nightclub
Characters: girl, young man, mother
A girl is sitting at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hello, baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Shall we come with me? I will give you an unforgettable evening!
GIRL: Sounds good. But my mother is waiting for me at home at 23-00.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! What, are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom too? Ha!
Suddenly, someone’s hand confidently takes the young man by the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an older woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, mom! I…
MOM: And I don’t want to hear! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.
GRANDMOTHER (pointing to the boy). I've looked through everything and the glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST (addresses the boy). Have you swallowed granny glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and find out everything.
GRANDMOTHER (joyfully). Yep, gotcha! I wish I had something like this at home.
RADIOLOGIST (looks at the picture). Well, well, well... You know... not only does he have glasses here, he also has a wallet with money. I can’t say exactly, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out on the floor.
GRANDMOTHER (grabs her glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don’t even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
RADIOLOGIST (twirls his wallet in his hands). No need. But if possible, I’ll keep the wallet as a souvenir.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we don’t need someone else’s.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Dad: Zmey Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math teacher: Leshy
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany Teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Vodyanoy
SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher’s room):
...Yes, I told him a hundred times!..
Well, what did he do again?
GOBBLE:
Multiplied the minus with the sine -
Got a minus one!
KIKIMORA:
Confused albinos
With albatross...
WITCH:
I threw apricots...
KIKIMORA:
Blowing soap bubbles!..
GOBBLE:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with yawning!
WATER:
And yesterday
Brought to class
Hippopotamus!!!
GOBBLE:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!
BABA YAGA (unctuously):
Maybe give him poison?..
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM –
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.
GOBBLE:
One hundred years ago
We would have it
Certainly,
Ate...
But now
We have
Not many students
In stock...
WATER:
Agree!
Let's not resort
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to entice him
A good example.
SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmmm... Less or more...
That is, more or less!..
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example is not good...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, what a hassle there is with children!..
ZMEY GORYNYCH:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn his lessons!
And if he doesn't stop yawning...
ALL IN CHORUS:
We'll turn it around
In chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. Daily routine
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETYA:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?
VOVA:
- Certainly! Regime... Regime is wherever I want, I jump there.
PETYA:
- Wrong! A regime is a daily routine. Are you doing it?
VOVA:
- I even exceed it.
PETYA:
- How is this?
VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, but I walk four!
PETYA:
- No, you are not exceeding it, but breaking it! Do you know what the daily routine should be?
VOVA:
- I know! Rise. Charger. Washing. Making the bed. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.
PETYA:
- Fine.
VOVA:
- And it can be even better.
PETYA:
- How is this?
VOVA:
- Like this! Rise. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.
PETYA:
- Well, no. Under this regime, you will turn out to be lazy and ignorant.
VOVA:
- It won't work.
PETYA:
- Why?
VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we follow the entire regime.
PETYA:
- How is it with your grandmother?
VOVA:
- Yes. I do half of it, and grandma does half of it. And together we get the whole regime.
PETYA:
- I don't understand!
VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lifting. The grandmother does the exercises. Washing is grandma. Making the bed - grandma. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Preparing lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me.
PETYA:
- Aren’t you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https://site/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists stand opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Come together!
Pushkin and his opponent raise their pistols. They approach the barriers. Pushkin's opponent fires a shot. Pushkin lies wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, I was left for the second year in literature!!!
16. School riddles
Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing with his hand at a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is such a slowpoke! Here I came across interesting riddles about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka’s intelligence.
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “The time between two bells is called...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Change!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that’s right, “change” is appropriate, but the answer must be in rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, I said it myself, that’s right, and then you start...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me tell you another riddle, just think about it before you tell me the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports hall...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!
SCHOOLBOY:
What store? For what? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
How why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already falling behind on my left foot. And the sporting goods store is right opposite the school. You've seen him a hundred times too.
SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But can you guess this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings; in schools they receive...”
VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I almost didn’t touch Lenka Petrova’s bow, but she hit me on the head with a book, bam-bang.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got a grade again...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouting):
I got a C, C again in math.
SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well, Vovka is slow-witted! What a slowpoke! Although... I look, his face is cunning and cunning. Maybe he was playing a trick on me? Today is April 1st!!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello, dear! ... Did our Bear do his homework? ... yes? What about his diary? Okay, right?! So, did he clean the room?! Crap! Have you eaten soup?! Nothing... I just went into the store, and there was a sale on belts!
Try this easy-to-perform skit - it is usually a lot of fun for young viewers.
3 participants: mother, son and robot. Starting position: the robot stands with its arms wide apart, mother and son are on the sides of the robot, slightly in front of it (so that the robot’s palms are not far from their heads).
Son (pointing to the robot): Oh, who is this?
Mom: It's a robot. He knows how to distinguish whether a person is telling the truth or deceiving. For example, tell me, what grades did you get at school today?
Son: Five!
Boom! (the robot pretends to slap its son on the head).
Mom: So you told a lie. So what did you actually get?
Son: Four.
Boom! (the robot slaps his son on the head again)
Mom: Not true again. What did you get?
Son: Well, three...
Boom! (again a slap on the head).
Mom: Tell the truth! What did they give you?
Son (sighing): two.
The robot strokes his son's head.
Mom: Oh, you! And at your age, I studied straight A’s and never lied to my parents!
Boom! Boom! (now mom is getting two slaps on the head!)
Good reasons
Funny school scene.
Characters: teacher, student - Ilya Arkhipov and student - Anechka Beletskaya. Students distribute their remarks at their own discretion, for example, answering the teacher in turn.
The teacher enters:
- Hello, guys! Thank you for coming...Why are there so few of you today?
He opens the magazine and begins the roll call:
- Arkhipov?..
- Here…
— Hello, Ilya, good to see you. Belyakov?..
- What are you talking about, Alevtina Ivanovna! Only the second lesson! He comes to the third!
- Ah! Yes, yes...
- Golubev?..
- Golubev studies at the institute on Tuesdays, in the commercial one, in his third year...
- Beletskaya?.. Anya! Are you here?
- Yes, but only after this lesson I’m leaving - we’re flying to Turkey today.
- Okay, okay...
— Kvitantsev?
— He can’t come, his car has broken down.
- But he lives in the next house?
- He’s stressed... He’s worried...
- Malinin?..
— Malinin has an exemption from exams. Why does he need to go to school?
- Parkhomenko?..
— Parkhomenko’s leg hurt, and Sergeev, Khorev and Frolova went to see the doctor to see him off...
- Yakovlev?..
- Still sleeping. He came yesterday!
- Well, okay - it turns out that everyone has good reasons. Let's write down the topic of the lesson...
Then the bell rings and all the students run out of the classroom.
The teacher speaks to the audience:
- I didn’t have enough time today...
Scene for Valentine's Day. Two cupids with bows and arrows come out to do their job. An unusual scene where participants will need to go down to the auditorium.
The plot is this: girls decide what to give their boyfriends on February 23rd. Only ladies participate in the scene. Finally, a legitimate reason to throw the men into the auditorium and enjoy the scene to the fullest.
This skit can be staged on March 8th and on a bachelorette party. The plot is already revealed in the title: best friends tell everyone the secret of how to make and not lose best friends. All, of course, with humor.
A skit for March 8, in which men will joke about typical feminine things. This sketch will be a good addition to the concert dedicated to International Women's Day.
It’s difficult not only for women before February 23, but also for men before March 8. Everyone is solving the most difficult problem - what to give?! This is exactly what we joke about in this scene.
This sketch can be shown at a concert in honor of March 8th, and at a corporate event at a beauty salon or store. Everyone wants to laugh at stereotypical approaches to female beauty.
Imagine that car designers finally decided to create an all-female car. And even give it to women on March 8th. You understand that this scene is very funny.
A scene for a birthday or anniversary. It can be quickly shown on any free spot in a cafe or restaurant. For the joy of the birthday boy and for the amusement of the guests.
Another humorous skit on the topic of finding a gift for a birthday. Choosing a gift is especially difficult. And in this case, the problem seems completely unsolvable. Both the guests and the birthday boy recognize themselves in this story.
By the way, this scene is also suitable for an anniversary. From five to 10 people can participate in it. The more, the more fun the scene will be.
Sketch about school, studying
From the title of the skit it is already clear that it is the most school-themed one. The plot is this: the school director calls a meeting to prepare the educational institution for the arrival of a strict inspection.
It’s always interesting to imagine how children will be taught this way in forty or fifty years. And if you add humor to these dreams, you will get a good scene for a school concert.
We tried to imagine how officials come up with new topics for graduation essays. This sketch will look natural in a concert on the occasion of the last bell or graduation at school. It can be played by both teachers and students.
Imagine that the famous TV presenter Andrei Malakhov quit his TV shows and began working as a literature teacher. In the skit we tried to show what his lesson would look like.
Imagine that, due to the crisis, it was decided to hold a summit of leaders from all countries of the world in one of the children's health camps. The skit is also good because it is popular, but everyone doesn’t need to learn the words.
New Year's scenes
Dynamic, modern, and most importantly, a funny New Year's scene. The beginning is like this: Santa Claus reads the letters of the children and is completely disappointed in them.
Scenario for a New Year's party for primary schoolchildren. Jack Sparrow, young hacker, Father Frost and Snow Maiden in one scenario. We guarantee humor!
Sketch-dialogues for two hosts of the New Year's evening. They will help out your concert and connect even the most disparate numbers with each other. The jokes are light, funny, New Year's jokes.
Anything can happen during the New Year holidays. The skit is about exactly this: the artistic director gives a scolding to the artists who performed at children's New Year's matinees. A sketch in the spirit of a Comedy club with a fair amount of childish humor.
A new, up-to-date scenario for a children's New Year's party. Recognizable modern characters: Cashier of Pyaterochka, Father Frost, Snow Maiden, Baba Yaga, and the symbol of the new year 2019 - Pig.
The classic battle of the Old and New Years has been transferred to the walls of an ordinary office. The scene is suitable for a corporate New Year's party. If your department is asked to stage a skit, take it and don’t suffer.
The plot of the sketch is as follows: astrologers-predictors compete in predicting the New Year for office employees. As you understand, you can weave all your intra-office joys and current events into the scene. Success at the New Year's corporate party is guaranteed!
Let's go back three hundred years and imagine how Russia switched to celebrating the New Year in winter. Let's do this in the form of a fun scene. If you rent theatrical costumes, the scene will be simply bombastic.
A current New Year's scene on a school theme. About how difficult it is for schoolchildren and teachers on the eve of the New Year. Suitable for school or student KVN on a New Year's theme.
The plot of the scene is this: somewhere in the north there is a secret base for training Santa Clauses. How can they do without preparation?! You can show such a scene at KVN and at the New Year’s concert.
There are different funny scenes with different plots - dramatic, humorous, artistic, etc. Absolutely any plot can be chosen for the sketch - from your own idea to an already existing idea. You can write your own script based on your own unique idea or plot. You can write a script for a finished work, a film, a fairy tale, or act out some story.
size>18 Mar 2012
Let's imagine that we are planning a holiday. We will invite friends, acquaintances, relatives and friends to the holiday. In the morning we begin to prepare for the event: cleaning and preparing luxurious treats. And now the guests have arrived, the table is set and after loud toasts and simple conversations it becomes a little boring. How to entertain guests? We can say for sure that everyone has experienced such situations. size>
10 Mar 2012
Are you having a holiday soon? Looking for funny scenes? You want it to be fun, but you don’t know how to prepare a holiday program or where to find skits. To prepare for a fun holiday event, people search the Internet for holiday materials. You can, of course, use some congratulations, but we invite you to watch our comic skits. We compose them ourselves especially for you and your upcoming holiday, or even holidays.
As you have already noticed, there are a lot of skits on the Internet, but they can be hackneyed and not funny. Therefore, we recommend watching only funny skits, then the holiday will be fun. For those who do not understand what a skit is and why it is needed, we will explain. A skit is a small performance (some kind of number) in which you can attract guests or perform alone. Guests can be dressed up in funny clothes, read some toasts, or just joke.
Here you will find only new scenes, especially for any festive event. I would like to note the fact that the site is updated with such materials quite regularly. Why do we try to compose them so often? And you will remember how many holidays there are in the year, how many reasons for fun... And these are: scenes for the anniversary, scenes of congratulations, for February 23, for March 8, children's and school scenes.
Dear friends, use our new funny skits and you will not have failed holidays, as they will greatly diversify your holiday program, and all guests will have fun.
size>08 Jun 2012
A scene for an anniversary or a man’s birthday “Childhood”
(Childhood runs out skipping - this is a man dressed up as a little boy and sings to the tune of a famous song about childhood):
My childhood, wait,
Don't rush, wait!
Give me a simple answer
What's ahead?!
Dear birthday boy!
The best remedy
Frighten off any attack -
This, of course, goes back to childhood
We must go in immediately!
I'll tell you emphatically:
Everything is forgiven for you today!
Read the continuation of the anniversary scene below
size>08 Jun 2012
(A man comes out - a participant in the scene, dressed in a scarf and an old colorful skirt with a jacket, in his hands he has a basket with drugs and he addresses the birthday boy with the words):
Dear birthday boy!
Even though you look healthy
And I was in good health from childhood,
But still, darling, no offense
Accept these funds as a gift!
I am an expert in healing
And the healer’s secret
I will open it to everyone on their birthday,
There is no more mystery in this!
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02 Jun 2012
Dear birthday girl, dear guests! You've all probably heard the expression: “Why are you walking around with shaggy hair like a shishiga?! Comb your hair!” So, I hasten to please you: just such a client arrived at our birthday girl’s birthday! Meet Shishiga, my friends!
(A participant in the scene comes out dressed as Shishiga; it will be funnier if he is a large man, dressed in a woman’s dress and with very shaggy hair or a shaggy wig.
Shishiga sings to the tune of the song “Longing for the Motherland” from the film. “Seventeen Moments of Spring”)
Read on for the continuation of this scene.
size>27 May 2012
(two participants, dressed in new Russian grandmothers, come out dancing and sing a verse to the tune of ditties):
We neither sow nor plow,
But we don’t sit idle!
On the anniversary we sing and dance,
Let's make birthday people laugh!
Matryona (speaks):
Flower, oh Flower! Why are you so wrinkled today, like a roll of toilet paper?
Flower:
Oh, don’t tell me, Matryona! I didn’t sleep all night, I kept thinking, how better can we congratulate our birthday boy than to please him on such a day?!
Read on for the continuation of the funny scene.
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