1. Try to smile, laugh, laugh more, learn not to hold back positive emotions

Laughter is the best cure for all ills. Sometimes laughter can take any serious and funny incident to a completely different level of perception. Self-irony is a powerful weapon and a great way to get out of conflict situations. Remember children, in many situations, having fallen into puddles, getting dirty in the mud, even being hit hard, they find something funny, shake themselves off and continue to move forward.

Laughter helps overcome even physical pain, while tears and self-pity only make it worse. In the most heated debates, a good joke or a witty funny remark helps defuse the tense situation. According to statistics, Russia and Ukraine are considered to be among the unhappiest countries in the world.

But look at the facial expressions of our fellow citizens. How often on the street, in public places and transport, in the service sector we come across gloomy, dissatisfied faces. Why do we have enough strength and energy to splash out negative emotions - the same rudeness, comments, dissatisfied statements - and not enough strength for basic politeness, a smile instead of a rude word, a humorous remark instead of a dissatisfied grumble.

After all, the result will be absolutely opposite. Good always attracts positivity, and negativity encourages even greater negative emotions. Even when fighting rudeness, happy people disarm their counterparts with a calm and positive reaction, something that the interlocutor does not expect from you.

If it’s difficult for you to start smiling in public places and on the street, start this activity at home, start the day by smiling at yourself, your family and friends. On the street, try to fill yourself with an inner smile, it will gradually turn into an outer one.

You won’t even notice how this will become a habit. Remember Little Raccoon's song - the smile always comes back. Happy people know how to notice funny things. If it's funny, don't hold back your emotions, laugh from your heart. Laugh until you cry, let yourself go. Laughter is a great source of endorphins.

2. Happy people walk with long strides and don’t hide their gaze.

Remember, psychologists have proven that successful people also have a special gait. Success very closely accompanies harmony, inner peace and happiness of a person. A happy person does not slouch, he looks forward and maintains his posture, his head is slightly raised.

Confident and joyful people do not look at their feet, do not huddle or slouch, they look widely around and straight into the eyes of their interlocutor, so they notice a lot. And they walk with long strides. Try not to mince with a shallow gait, but to widen your step, walk lightly, as if hovering above the ground, and you will feel completely different.

How to become a happy person?

3. Happy people play sports

Self-love and an inner feeling of happiness are not possible without love for your own body. In order to become happy, you need to play sports. These can be both professional hobbies and amateur activities in fitness centers, as well as basic physical exercises, warm-up, gymnastics, yoga at home.

Sports, in addition to improving physical fitness and keeping the body in good shape, helps to pay attention to our body, and many types of activities, such as yoga, allow us to combine physical development with spiritual development.

4. Happy people pay great attention to their inner selves.

Spiritual practices, meditation, personal growth trainings help happy people get to know themselves better, listen to their inner voice, develop intuition, love themselves, praise themselves, study themselves and come to inner balance and harmony. How often in the modern world and the frantic pace of life we ​​focus on anything but ourselves and our inner feelings.

5. Happy people enjoy little things

It is clear that major achievements and important accomplishments give us a feeling of happiness and joy. But a truly happy person knows how to rejoice and find positivity even in small things. There is so much beauty in life - you can enjoy every minute: the sound of rain outside the window, the rustling and smell of autumn leaves, the rays of the sun, a cup of aromatic coffee in the morning.

Simple things that are always there. Even small pleasant events that happen in the life of every person and to which many do not even pay attention, cause delight and a lot of positive emotions in happy people.

6. Gratitude

Happy people know how to be grateful for all the good things that happen in their lives. Even in psychology, there is the concept of a “gratitude diary,” where it is recommended to write down every day a list of all the good things that happened and for which you should thank the Universe.

7. To become happy, you need to learn to give, and not just take

A person who is ready to give, give, give away his warmth, energy, time will be happy. The more you give, the more you receive in return. It has long been proven that people get more pleasure from giving gifts. Seeing someone happy, rejoicing, laughing, and being involved in this is a wonderful feeling that gives an unforgettable experience. This is happiness - to see the shining eyes of loved ones, to make someone happy.

8. Happy people are progressive, actively interested in everything new.

For a person to feel happy, he must develop and move forward. That is why happy people are characterized by an interest in everything new, they are not afraid to master progressive technology, are interested in modern technologies, are passionate about some kind of hobby, and are aware of all the new products.

They are interested in trying unusual things, changing their field of activity, attending various courses, and improving their professional and creative level. As a rule, they are easy-going and love to travel. This can range from long trips to exploring nearby cities and attractions. There is nothing better than a change of scenery to get away from everyday life and routine. Even a simple weekend trip to nature is a great way become happier.

9. Happy people surround themselves with optimistic people.

Happy people try to avoid the company of boring, boring people who are dissatisfied with life. They prefer the company of positive, cheerful, humorous people. In the end, like attracts like - easy-going, lively, energetic friends who see good things are much more interesting than grumbling and dissatisfied ones.

Negative thinking and dissatisfaction with life do not carry any charge or incentive for a happy life. Therefore, in addition to changes in yourself, it would not be a bad idea to reconsider your social circle. Try to suppress negative outbursts from others - words, thoughts, actions. It is worth reaching out to interesting and extraordinary personalities, multifaceted creative people who can tell a lot of interesting things, teach something new, next to whom you can grow and not degrade.

9. Happy people know how to listen and hear.

When a person listens well, he shows respect for his interlocutor and opens himself to receive new information.

10. Happy people do not waste time on empty talk.

Time is the most valuable and irreplaceable source. So is it worth spending precious minutes of life talking about nothing, regretting what can no longer be changed, empty platitudes, soul-searching and self-pity, doubts, beating around the bush? We so often talk a lot about all sorts of trifles, but remain silent about the main thing. And then we regret it. A happy person knows how to formulate his thoughts clearly and clearly, he organizes them into constructive and deep conversation, displacing light chatter.

11. Happy people allow themselves to lose track of time.

Remember how in childhood, being passionate about something, time and the whole world around us froze and ceased to exist. Likewise, happy adults are looking for something to do and a hobby to their liking in order to return to a state of “weightlessness.”

12. Happy people know how to cope with failures and quickly recover from them.

A happy person perceives any obstacle or failure as a challenge, and any failure as an experience from which appropriate conclusions are drawn. Such people have learned not to reproach and scold themselves in difficult situations, but, on the contrary, to strive to find an excuse and reassurance. It didn’t work out today, it will work out tomorrow, there wasn’t enough knowledge, experience, time - all this can be corrected. This is just a chance to become smarter, faster, and learn new things. Optimists easily move on from failures, do not get hung up, but move forward. This ability to self-heal is an important quality that can and should be cultivated in oneself.

How to become happier?

13. Happy people prefer live communication and know how to make friends and build relationships with other people

They disconnect from the network and prefer face-to-face relationships to virtual conversations via social media. They feel quite normal without the Internet, computer, TV and other nonsense that eats up time. They prefer to spend their free minutes with maximum benefit and read a lot.
Happy people know how to make friends, they are sociable and easily find a common language even with strangers. They know how to approach relatives and dear people. Like subtle psychologists, they feel the interlocutor and can fly across half the country to see a close friend.

14. A happy person knows how to love

The energy of love is the most powerful in the Universe. A happy person loves himself, those around him, nature, animals, and his work. Whatever he undertakes, he does it with pleasure. emits waves that attract other people. Therefore, happy people are always loved.

15. Happy people have a special relationship with money.

As a rule, a happy person treats money very easily. He does not neglect them, he knows how to earn them, but he also parted with them easily. He gets pleasure from sharing them, participating in charity, helping those in need. A happy person is capable of selfless actions and volunteer work. When giving, he rarely expects anything in return, so he always receives more.

And the last thing:

happy people think positively and program the scenario of each day in a positive way. They know how to block negative thoughts and are always in the mood before they begin any task. Many books have been written and a large number of documentaries have been shot about the power of thought, desire and positive thinking.

It all starts with a desire for the best and become happy. The pursuit of pleasure, spending money on oneself, accumulating wealth, material wealth, which many understand as happiness, has nothing in common with the true feeling and awareness of oneself as a happy person. Believe me, those who truly want to be happy will become happy!

Many women cannot imagine themselves without a man. It seems to them that if there is no soulmate nearby, it is impossible to become a happy person. However, psychologists say the opposite. Happiness exists, and, oddly enough, it should be very close. You just need to be able to use life correctly. In the article you will find answers to the questions: “How to become a happy woman if you are alone?”, “What is happiness?”, “How to replenish your reserves of female pleasure?”

What is happiness?

Few people know the answer to this question. For some people, happiness is when a loved one is nearby, for others - the health of loved ones, etc. However, no one can definitely tell you how to become a happy woman if you are alone.

Happiness is the state of mind of every person. If he has harmony, his heart is light, he has someone to communicate with, share his experiences, there are no big problems, this person is completely satisfied with life.

The famous writer Ayn Rand believes that happiness is, first of all, harmony with oneself. A person cannot force the people around him to love him. Therefore, love cannot be called happiness. Today it is there, but tomorrow it is gone. The same goes for friends. Some comrades replace others.

The philosopher claims that happiness is a person’s pleasure at the present moment. It doesn't matter what he does. If a person enjoys himself, his soul is happy.

As you can see, for each person this concept has its own sides. Psychologists say that absolutely everyone can be happy. Regardless of problems and mood. It is important to really want this and listen to the experts.

Happy and without a man

Many women believe that they must have a soulmate. It seems to them that without a man it is impossible to become happy and successful. As practice has shown, not everyone has a favorite. However, for some reason, some women are happy and others are not. Why does this happen? How to become a happy woman if you are alone? Psychologists give advice on these questions:

1. Find happiness within yourself. Try to live the way you want. You don't have to ask anyone for permission; you have the opportunity to go wherever you want at any time. You'll see, a little time will pass and you will enjoy spending time with yourself. After all, many women feel lonely even when there is a man nearby.

2. Remember, there are no princes on a white horse. They do come across, but extremely rarely. However, you should not hope and wait in vain. While you are searching, learn to take care of yourself. Find yourself an exciting hobby that will distract you from sad thoughts.

3. Love yourself. Never forget that only you can give yourself the happiness that a man cannot give you - freedom. Almost every woman needs it. But not everyone is free.

4. Men rarely appreciate women's actions and kindness. Therefore, it is not worth living for them. Yes, if you have a loved one, that’s good. Still, don't forget about yourself. Always say to yourself: “I will become happy, no matter what.”

You must always remain a woman

As a rule, if a loved one is not nearby, the fairer sex becomes a stronger person. The woman does not ask for help and always tries to cope on her own. They say about such people: “a man in a skirt.” It shouldn't be this way. Remember, you must always be gentle, feminine, loved and unique. These are the main rules.

A woman should not be embarrassed to ask for help. Even if she doesn’t need everyone to know. Try to show others your fragility and helplessness. After all, these are the kinds of women that attract men.

Psychologists say that a woman should often say to herself: “I am happy.” This suggestion helps you find yourself and your passion. Remember, while remaining a woman first and foremost, you can be happy without a man. Of course, someday you will have it. Thanks to the fact that you learn to be on top, you will be able to do without a man. The sex values ​​these people more. They are afraid of losing their loved one and do everything possible so as not to lose her trust and fill the spiritual emptiness.

What is important for women's happiness

Don't you want to feel lonely? Don't know how to live without a man? Psychologists say that first of all you need to be able to be distracted. Ask yourself: “How to become happy without a man?” You'll see, everything is simple. There are some tips. Some are just right for you:

• Massage is a relaxing remedy necessary for every person, and women in particular. It has been proven that touching certain points improves the state of mind, and a person leaves the salon with a different mood. The bad is forgotten, and the good is remembered.
• Hairstyle, manicure, pedicure make a woman more beautiful and more confident. The weaker sex begins to treat themselves differently.
• Beauty salon - new acquaintances. Try to meet new people. If you go to a beauty salon once a week, most likely you will find a friend with similar interests there. You don't have to be secretive with her, but you can have a good time.
• Talking on the phone. Many women believe that this is a waste of time. However, you are throwing away your energy. Why not talk for two hours on the phone. It has been proven that a woman thus gets a relaxing effect.
• Shopping is necessary for every woman. Thanks to shopping trips, you forget about everything. A new thing brings satisfaction to almost every person.

The above methods help women relax, enjoy life and become happier. However, there are many more methods, the main thing is that a person understands what he needs. Now you understand how to become a happy woman if you are alone. Try to enjoy being alone, but don't go overboard. Sometimes the weaker sex needs men like air.

Factors of female happiness

There is an opinion that you are happy only when you have a husband, family, children and a lot of worries. Today, psychologists say that there are other moments in a woman’s life. Many of them wonder: “how to become happy and loved.” Psychology says that there are 4 phases in a person’s life:

1. Physical. Closeness or intimacy is a relaxing factor. When a person is physically passionate about work, about a partner, then he is happy in this area. However, it is necessary that you like what you do. If physical work is not to your liking, but only for profit, then in this case there is no need to talk about happiness.
2. Emotional. This phase is responsible for a person’s mood, his state of mind. Therefore, if you are cheerful, your heart is calm and comfortable, then in the emotional phase you are a happy person.
3. Intelligent. You have a specialty, you were able to get the profession you wanted, and now you also work in your favorite place. You are a completely happy person in the intellectual sphere.
4. Spiritual. You notice the world around you. When you go to work, you enjoy life and help people who need you. You are completely satisfied in this area.

Pay attention to these phases. Most likely you understand how to become happy and loved. Psychology is a complex science. First of all, it teaches people to understand themselves.

The famous American teacher and psychologist developed many techniques. He claims that they are the ones who help people become happy. These techniques are more aimed at a female audience. First of all, Carnegie advises to constantly convince yourself: “I am happy.” This is already a big plus for success.

The next thing the psychologist advises is not to be endlessly grateful to others for their help. In turn, you shouldn’t expect a person to constantly thank you if you managed to help him out in difficult times. Give and take help for granted. Always repeat: “I will become the happiest under any circumstances.”

If you have ill-wishers, you should not take revenge on them. Always remember, every person is given what he deserves. If you start to take revenge, there is no telling what will happen to you.

Never think about the person who is unpleasant to you. Try not to talk to such people even about the weather. After all, such communication spoils the mood. Think about yourself, what you need.

You can't criticize or judge people. Every person, and even you, can find yourself in the same unpleasant situation. There is no need to swear and say: “This will never happen to me.”

Perhaps when communicating with a friend you are sure that she is wrong. You shouldn’t blame her, because at the moment she knows that this is how it should be. This is not your mistake, but your friend's. If he asks for advice, try to explain. Don’t force your own opinion. By doing this you will only push your interlocutor away, and he will close himself off from you.

When friends try to use you for their own purposes. Know that they are not even your comrades, but strangers. You should not communicate with such a person. Cross him off your friends list. Your life will become easier.

There is such a wonderful phrase: “fate brought me a lemon.” You shouldn’t try it, it’s better to make a delicious drink from it. Now you can drink it for the rest of your life. An interesting and instructive phrase.

Always find something to do: build a career, learn to knit, sew, write poetry. Busyness is the best medicine that will help you forget about all the troubles.

Amazing psychologist Dale Carnegie. How to become happy is written in many books. However, girls and women are often advised to read this author. After all, he wrote in an informative and fascinating way, you begin to feel like a happy and successful woman.

When does a woman feel happy?

Each person has his own concept. However, many women are interested in knowing what to do to become happy? After all, you really want to enjoy life, but it doesn’t always work out. It has been proven that to be happy you need to feel like you are not alone. It doesn’t matter who will be there, a friend, a loved one or just parents. The main thing is to feel needed.

When you have someone to have a heart-to-heart conversation with in a calm environment, then happiness hormones are produced. Outside support and care are important for every person. If you are concerned about others, do not expect gratitude from them, because it benefits you.

Cooperation, career, and joint activities play an important role for all people. They say a woman - yes, that's true. However, if you sit at home and do only everyday life, it consumes you. In such cases, women cannot feel happy.

If you are constantly busy, are passionate about an activity that interests you, communicate with others, feel that they need you, then you will be completely satisfied with your life.

Replenishing our reserves of female happiness

Psychologists say: in order to achieve what you want, you need to set a goal. First of all, tell yourself: “I want to become happy,” and start taking action. To do this, every woman needs:

1. Take care of yourself. Try to spend at least 30 minutes every day for yourself. Even if you don't go to work, you should look great.
2. Find your passion. If you are interested in handicrafts, try to find yourself in this business. This can be knitting, embroidery and more. Every person with full employment will not be able to think about bad things.
3. Communicate often. Go shopping with your friends, to the cinema or even to the circus. Heart-to-heart communication heals a person.
4. Help others. Try to pay attention not only to yourself, but also to your loved ones. Helping other people will help you find yourself and feel needed.
5. Be a woman. Ask others for help. After all, a woman should be a little helpless. Get used to the fact that you have someone to lean on in difficult times.

If you try all the above methods, you can become happy without outside help.

If there is no female happiness

If you cannot find peace of mind, think: why? Perhaps you have not wondered how to become the happiest person in the world. What threatens a woman if she has not found female happiness? First of all, the weaker sex ages quickly. After all, if a woman does not have a permanent partner, her character and mood deteriorate every day.

If a person does not develop happiness, he stops taking care of himself and does not always control himself. This threatens nervous exhaustion and ultimately hospitalization.

This prospect is not encouraging. Therefore, do not forget to say to yourself every morning: “I am happy.” After a week of self-hypnosis, you will become confident in yourself.

It is very important for a woman to be happy and loved. Therefore, adhere to the above rules and do not forget that you should always remain feminine and beautiful.

How to become happy at 40?

Do not think that old age has already arrived. It’s not for nothing that they say: “at 40, life just begins.” You are an experienced and wise woman, so it is not a problem for you to become happy right now. At the age of 40, your strength has just begun to blossom, you have many acquaintances, friends, comrades and colleagues. As a rule, at this age it is difficult to deceive a person, because he has a wealth of experience, thanks to which you understand people better. Now you understand when to trust and who is not worthy of your attention.

If you have children, but are already adults, then you can pay attention to your beloved. Sometimes it happens that a woman, due to circumstances, did not have time to give birth. Then at 40 you will be happy if you are a mother. Don't be alarmed, psychologists say that there is nothing wrong with this. Many women at this age give birth to babies and then find their happiness.

If you have adult children, but no man, then you can change your life in this direction. At 40, a woman can easily pay attention to a man. Your intuition will not let you down.

Give yourself as much charm as possible. You can charm a man. After all, thanks to experience, you know how to behave correctly so that the stronger sex is next to you. However, before you take a serious step, think carefully about whether you need it. After all, if you are used to living alone, paying attention only to yourself, it is quite possible that you will not be able to change quickly.

Physical activity, caring for loved ones, hobbies, self-care - all this makes a woman happy. Find yourself, learn to enjoy life, and you will succeed.

Hello friends! Sasha is on air... Today I want to raise a question that millions of people ask themselves - how to become a happy person: psychology can help you, my dears)

In general, this is one of a series of questions for which there is no clear answer. Everyone strives to get into this wonderful world of happiness, but no one knows exactly what kind of world it is, where to look for it and what they are looking for in general.

What does it mean to “become a happy person,” and what is not happiness at all?

“Are you happy?” Ever heard this question? Or maybe they asked themselves this question: “Am I happy?” How many people can answer this question with confidence? I think not.

Let’s, before we talk about how it is, where to look and all that, let’s talk about what they mistakenly consider happiness and blindly chase the “ghost”.

Often, the search for the best resembles some kind of game of a blind kitten, which rushes back and forth in search of its fish, and finds either a slipper or a dog bone, which obviously does not please the hungry cat.

And so he, disappointed, begins his path again, rushing from corner to corner. But everything is useless, because he doesn’t even know what this very fish looks like, he doesn’t know what he’s looking for and therefore he can spend his whole life, but never find anything.

And what’s also important is that it’s not a fact that this fish is happiness. Maybe he needs milk, but he doesn’t understand it.

Many people think:

• I'll buy myself a new cool smartphone
• I'll go to another country
• I'll get a new job
• I will change my wife (husband)
• I'll make a lot of money... and be happy!

But all this is only temporary satisfaction of desires. You get tired of one thing, the need for something else appears and again blind searches.

So what is happiness and where to look for it?

Happiness is not something external. This is not buying something or changing your place of residence or partner. It is within us. This is harmony with oneself, confidence, the ability to rejoice and look at the world positively.

But it’s not enough to just understand that it lives in us, like “ah, I understand and now I’ll be all so joyful!” No, if until today you have confused the concepts of happiness and temporary satisfaction, then you have a lot of work ahead of you!

If you don’t experience a single drop of happiness where you are now, among the blessings that you have, you see only bad things everywhere and everywhere, you blame all your failures on other people and circumstances, then you will never see happiness anywhere!

Sounds like a sentence, doesn't it? But not everything is so scary, there is a way out - the main thing here is to admit to yourself that you need to change yourself first, and not the external attributes of life.

If you do not admit this to yourself, then you will rush around all your life in search of some illusory happiness, until you are covered with sad wrinkles on an eternally dissatisfied face.

All of the above does not mean that a happy person does not have desires and needs for some external goods. He also wants to have a strong family, a good job and other joys of life.

The only difference is that he does not depend on his desires. The absence of something does not make him unhappy and embittered towards the whole world. He also strives to improve his external life, but without fanaticism.

He calmly moves towards his goal without destroying himself from the inside. He doesn’t panic if his wife is not as slender as his neighbor’s or that he still doesn’t have a three-story cottage and a private jet.

I’ll try to give you some tips, which for me personally are a kind of cheat sheet, from the moment I got “lost and lost”... It helps me and I believe that these tips will be useful to you too.

1) Stop complaining about life

There are people who are just waiting for the moment to sit in someone’s ear and cry about their unfortunate fate. Are you sure that this is interesting to someone?

Well, yes, yes, psychologists say “speak it out, it will become easier” and somewhere this is true, I cried and it seemed like my heart was relieved a little, but damn it doesn’t mean that you need to annoy everyone with your problems! People have enough of their own!

And in general, I think so... it’s one thing to vent to a girlfriend (friend) or a psychologist once, and another thing to piss everyone off every day... and... if you endlessly hammer someone’s brains with your life’s disadvantages, then that means you are not able to cope with them at all.

And this is no big deal!! And if so, then something needs to be done about it.

Try to analyze in your head everything that worries you so much. Think about it, is it so scary and serious? Does this or that situation have a solution? Can you influence the improvement of this negative point?

If you understand that you can fix the situation, then go ahead! Correct, change, act in the end, and don’t cry feeling sorry for yourself!

If you understand that you can’t change a damn thing, that nothing depends on you at all, then think - is it worth worrying at all? Accept everything as it is and try to switch to something else. Why pick a stone fence with a toothpick(?)

To understand the complexity or simplicity of negativity, I would advise you to be alone with yourself. Turn off everything - telephone, TV, Internet, and even put aside your favorite book (if you have one).

Clear everything away and think about what's bothering you. Think about everything and make the only right decision for yourself - “I can fix it or I can’t”, and then continue according to the text above.

2) Be responsible for yourself and your life

Finally understand that you yourself are responsible for your life! It's no one's fault that you didn't take the path you wanted.

No, well, of course there are such tyrant parents and even wives who try to impose on you the lifestyle that they consider correct. But eventually learn to resist!

This is your life and only you can decide how to live it! And to say that someone is ruining it for you and all that—well, at least the words of a weakling. Can’t you say “I don’t want that!”??

Do you know who most often teaches “to live”? As a rule, these are those who themselves have not achieved anything in life and are now trying to convey to you their supposedly conscious mistakes. They think this will help you.

But they are not at all interested in what YOU want! They think they know what's best for you, and you most likely believe it. Not worth it. You have your own life and only you know what you need and what you want.

And only you are responsible for yourself!

If you don't like something in your life, change it! Stop looking for someone to blame for your failures. No one decides for you how to live!!! Remember this.

Tell yourself “I am responsible for myself, only I decide what my life will be like” and stop justifying your failures behind someone else! ? No? Then stop crying!

3) Don't regret the past

Why torment yourself with the past, regret something, about what was done and what wasn’t? Eating yourself won't make you feel any better.

Accept past mistakes as experience from which you need to draw conclusions and not step on the same rake again.

Memories and regrets can hurt! Do you need it? Let go of the past and live in the present and future.

4) Do you have a goal in life?

Most people live by the principle of “whatever happens.” Those. They just live, they don’t set any goals for themselves - they wake up, go to work, go to the store in the evening, come back, have dinner, go to bed.

It's like Groundhog Day. The maximum they strive for is a vacation once a year and a pension at the end of their lives. But at the same time, many feel crazy about more successful people, whose lives are much more active and interesting.

They envy, but are in no hurry to change something... They are afraid to deviate from the course of habits and try something new. And it is precisely this new thing that often saves a person from boredom and the feeling of “I’m not happy.”

5) Learn to ignore the opinions of others that you don’t need

People love to give advice, criticize, and even laugh at the goals and actions of others. But is it worth focusing on this and quitting doing something just because someone doesn’t think it’s “right”?

Stop being afraid of what people will think of you! Live your life with your own head. I'm not saying that you should completely and completely not give a damn about society, but...

6) Positive thinking and the ability to be happy is daily work on yourself

You can’t become a happy person overnight just by listening to some advice. Only daily work on yourself can lead you to this world of happiness that you dream of.

Learning to look at things differently, to see not only the bad in what surrounds you is not so easy when a negative attitude towards everything has become a kind of habit.

People in the same conditions can feel completely different.

And let both have a yacht on the shore of their own beach, or both will light a stove in a remote village - the perception of the world around them in the same conditions will be different.

It’s easier to say, one will be happy to chop wood, and the other will cry over his fate. Or one will be happy looking at his beach, rejoice that he was able to achieve success, while for the second everything will not be enough and he will continue to feel unhappy.

7) Being unhappy is much easier than being happy

Returning to everything written above, we can definitely say that it is more difficult to be a happy person than to be an unhappy person. If only because you need to work hard on yourself.

Admitting your shortcomings and the fact that no one is to blame for your misfortunes but yourself can be very difficult.

Learning to look at the world differently, to think differently - all this cannot be done in one day. It seems I've already started repeating myself.

Don't try to change everything at once

You probably have hundreds of questions in your head right now: “Where to start? How can I change everything at once?” etc. There is no need to try to change everything in your life at once!

Go through the points, you can even make a plan for yourself and follow it.

And the best thing to start with is to recognize the true reasons for your unhappy life and want... really want to change everything! Only by truly wanting something can you achieve what you want!

This is where I’ll probably end my article today. Thank you all for your attention!)

I hope I answered the question of how to become a happy person and now, together with you, I will continue to follow the advice and become happier!)

There are still many interesting topics ahead, so subscribe to everything new, I promise not to flood your inbox with junk!)

See you soon! Be happy! And take care of your family, loved ones and loved ones... This makes them happy.

Always with you, Sasha Bogdanova

Every person deep down dreams of becoming happy and everyone strives for this. But look around: how many happy people will you see? Here, in my opinion, there is a paradox: everyone wants happiness, but few people manage to feel it in everyday life, not just once, but regularly or even often.

At some point on the path to happiness, most people experience a “glitch.” In this article I will look at the reasons for such “failures” and propose a strategy.

As the article progresses, I invite you to answer questions so that you can better understand your relationship with happiness. I recommend answering the proposed questions in writing - this way you can really understand something new about yourself and apply the psychological ideas described here to your life.

What is happiness

In my opinion, happiness is not only about emotions; emotions cannot be maintained at the same level all the time. But you can create a certain lifestyle for yourself to live the life you want.

Reach out to yourself and think:

• What is happiness for you?
• What makes you a happy person?

Happiness is a feeling, you either feel it or not. To see the possibilities how to become a happy person, it is important to understand your personal idea of ​​happiness. That is, first you need to understand WHAT you want to do, organize in your life, and then HOW you can do it.

If you find it difficult to answer these questions right away, remember: When was the last time you felt like a happy person. Relive these memories, immerse yourself in them, feel the echoes of that happiness. And then analyze what made you feel happy in that situation. Perhaps what made you happy then will help you determine how to become a happy person now.

The feeling of happiness consists of your satisfaction with different areas of your life: family, work, friends, home, leisure, hobbies. Please note that the feeling of satisfaction is purely subjective, there are no external criteria in it. All that matters is what you feel and think.

For example, outwardly everything in your life looks great: you have a family, work, housing, your life is filled with communication with different people. But you don’t feel like a happy person; on the contrary, you often feel sad, depressed, and apathetic. Other people may say: “What are you doing?! Everything is fine in your life!” You believe them, drive away your unpleasant feelings, but you still cannot feel happiness.

In this example, it turns out that a person is guided by external criteria and other people’s ideas of happiness. But what is happiness for one person will not be happiness for another. The question “How to become a happy person” is individual and subjective, and only you can give yourself a specific answer.

Here we come to the first important step on your path to happiness - to understand what you want. But this is not as simple as it might seem at first glance.

The answer “I want to become a happy person” will not work here; more specifics are needed. And your answers to the questions in the previous part of this article – about your personal idea of ​​happiness – will help you with this. Think about what you need to feel happy.

I want to live like this or “this is how it should be”

First reason. Since childhood, we have all been told a lot about how everything should be... Thus, people learn to adjust their lives to “the way it should be,” “the way it’s customary,” “like everyone else’s.” But this path does not answer the question of how to become a happy person for you. It has nothing to do with your personality, and this is one of the reasons for possible “failures”.

Refer to your answers to the happiness questions from the previous part of this article. Consider whether these answers reflect your personal views, or whether they relate more to generally accepted ideas about happiness. Pay attention to the emotions that arise:

• How do you feel when you think about your happiness?
• Do you have an emotional response and does the desire to become a happy person ignite within you?

The lack of strong emotions is a sign that your answers do not fully take into account your personality. And then it is important to filter your personal desires and ideas from the “generally accepted” ones.

I know what I want, but I'm scared that it won't work out

Second reason. You know what you want, but you are afraid to try, to take risks. You're scared that you won't succeed. This state is illustrated by the saying “Better is a bird in the hand than a pie in the sky.” You convince yourself that everything is fine, but occasionally you still continue to dream about “how things could be different.”

It turns out that you have certain restrictions within you that prevent you from moving freely towards your happiness. You know how to be a happy person, but you don't act out of fear.

Trying and making mistakes is natural. And indeed, something may not work out the first time. When something doesn't work out, you can change your strategy and try something different. But if you're afraid to even try change your life, you are controlled by irrational internal limitations.

And these restrictions can be checked for compliance with reality.

• Feel what exactly are you afraid of?
• What happens if suddenly you try and it doesn’t work out?
• How will you feel if you fail?
• What will failure mean to you?

Answer these questions and analyze how real your concerns are.

This analysis can lead you to understand your underlying irrational beliefs. For example, you may be afraid of making a mistake, feeling like a failure, or the possible catastrophic consequences of doing the wrong thing.

Try to relate your fears to reality. Think about how you can act if something doesn't work out the first time. When you imagine what you will do under different scenarios, fears stop slowing you down. And then you can freely begin to implement your strategy on how to become a happy person.

If at this first step you encounter difficulties in one of the options discussed above, this may be a reason to think, spend more time analyzing these difficulties, or seek help from a psychologist.

It can be difficult to feel and decide on your own how to become a happy person: understand your desires, get rid of irrational restrictions and simply believe in yourself. When I work with the topic of happiness in psychological consultations, I help you access your desires, recognize the societal stereotypes and expectations that influence you, and replace “interfering” factors with supportive ones.

In the next article I will continue to talk about strategies on how to become a happy person.

Text: practicing psychologist Elena Sultanova

Happiness is a state to which, consciously or not, almost everyone strives. Another thing is that everyone has their own happiness: some have a prosperous family, some have professional self-realization, some have material wealth.

Being a happy person is both simple and difficult. The difficulty is that in order to become happy, you need to know some conditions for achieving happiness, more about them below. But the main difficulty is that happiness has ceased to be interesting to people. Almost any modern book, film or song can easily convince you of this: the fates of the heroes are distorted by some tragedy, someone’s untimely death, an accident, unrequited love. And thus, we learn to empathize not with happiness, but with misfortune. And it is misfortune that we most often try on ourselves. Anyone who is happy is of no interest to anyone, at best. And at worst, it causes hostility. Remember how Toska said in “Girls”: “You are happy, Katka, but happiness blinds people.”

Another difficulty on the path to happiness is our misconception that happiness is difficult to achieve. We are generally accustomed to thinking that good things must be earned, and that what comes easily is worth nothing. There is even an expression - “hard-earned happiness.” Often, instead of becoming truly happy, we begin to obtain this happiness by inventing obstacles and suffering for ourselves out of the blue. We don't believe in happiness if it just comes into our hands. We consider real what has been suffered, obtained, earned, and never what was easily and joyfully in our hands.

How can one still be happy?

• 1 Determine the parameters of your happiness Remember that being happy is also a goal. And in order to achieve the goal, you need to see it, know it. Determine for yourself by what signs you will understand that you are happy, otherwise it may come without you even noticing. If happiness for you is when you are loved, decide how you will understand that you are loved. The more parameters and characteristics you find, the clearer your goal will be and the easier the path to it. Try to play at your happiness. Remember how we used to play mother and daughter and build an ideal family and an ideal home? Try your happiness by taste, color, smell. Choose key roles and settings - this will determine where your happiness is possible and with whom.
• 2 State what brings you pleasure in life In order to feel happy, it is important not only to paint the scenery, but also to fill it with things that bring you joy. Make your list of what invariably makes you happy and gives you pleasure, something without which life would turn into dull everyday life. This could be weekly get-togethers with friends in a cafe, a new book, shopping, etc. Make it a rule to periodically check your list, and as you implement it, cross something off and add something. See how much of this list you implement in your life. If it’s not enough, then what’s stopping you? Check how you can realize what brings you joy. Maybe for this you will have to give up some boring and uninteresting things.
• 3 Live in the moment You cannot be happy yesterday or tomorrow, only today. Remember that only in the present time do we have all our strength, energy, and attention at our disposal. During the day, listen to your thoughts - you will find yourself thinking about what happened yesterday, as well as what will happen tomorrow. So it may turn out that you are practically not in the present. Therefore, become happy right here and now. If nothing makes you happy in the present, then it is very likely that the future will not make you very happy either, because it also tends to someday become the present.
• 4 Rely on what you are willing to do Happiness must certainly be built on a combination of “I can” and “I want.” It’s not enough to want something, you also need to be able and ready to do it, otherwise happiness will turn into a soap bubble that will burst one day, leaving disappointment in its place. Remember again the parameters of your happiness and look at the list that you made in point 2 - this is what you want. But what of this do you want and are you ready to do in order to be happy? Remember that your list should only contain things that you can do for yourself. Because “everyone is the architect of his own happiness.”
• 5 Accept yourself for who you are Happiness is built on accepting yourself as a person, on agreeing to be who you are. American psychologists have a saying: “If you are in Chicago, then you cannot call from anywhere but from Chicago.” This means that if you want to be happy, then you can only do this from the state in which you are now. Happiness is not built on who you will one day become, but on who you already are. Write down your strengths on a piece of paper, study it and remember: your strengths are what you can rely on in life. Write down your shortcomings on a piece of paper and do the following thing: turn each shortcoming into a virtue. Remember: “I’m not a brake, I’m a slow gas”? Or “I’m not boring, I just pay a lot of attention to detail.” Or “yes, I am like that, and this is my way of acting”?
• 6 Shape your employment Life is more interesting the more activities we are involved in. We often dream about relaxation, about the opportunity not to work. However, according to psychological research, the less busy we are with something, the more likely we are to become fixated on one activity or to settle for a less desirable activity. This is why there are more dysfunctional women among housewives than among women who work a lot.

At the very beginning, we said that being happy is not only difficult, but also simple. In order to be happy, you only need an inner desire and intention to be happy. It is not circumstances that make a person happy, but the internal readiness to be happy and the ability to be content with what he has. Surely everyone is familiar with the state when everything seems to be there for happiness, but there is no happiness itself. But happiness does not come when there are no problems. When you are happy, troubles and failures can happen in life. However, a happy person understands that there can be troubles and failures, and accepts them not as obstacles, but as springboards - in order to better push off.