“Ah, my friend! Pity the unfortunate man! Colds, coughs, chest pains hardly allow me to put pen to paper; but I must certainly inform you of my melancholy adventure. Do you remember the young Yverdon beauty with whom we dined in Basel, at the Stork tavern; Do you remember, perhaps, that I was sitting next to her, that she spoke to me kindly and looked at me with tenderness - ah! What granite mountain could protect my heart from her piercing gaze? What snowy masses could extinguish the fire ignited by these glances at the source of my life? Yes, my friend! I studied anatomy, medicine, and I know that the heart is definitely the source of life, although the venerable doctor Megadidaktos, together with the worthy Mikrologos, sought the soul and the principle of life in the wonderful plexus of nerves, hidden from our eyes... But I am afraid to move away from my subject and therefore, leaving this time the venerable Megadidactos and the worthy Mikrologos, I will tell you frankly that the Yverdon beauty aroused in me such feelings that I now cannot describe. I don’t know what would have come of me and what I would have done if she had—oh, cruel blow! - did not leave the tavern on that very night in which my soul was busy with her with the greatest fervor and in which a comforting sleep did not close my eyes. You took me out of Basel; travel, pleasant places, meeting a Frenchwoman, little Pierre, a squirrel, an evil squirrel, new acquaintances, waterfalls, mountains, girl G* - all this could not completely erase the image of the beautiful Yverdon in my heart. For a long time I tried to overcome myself; but in vain! A fast river sooner or later tears apart all strongholds: so does love! Having hired a horse in Lausanne, I rode on horseback to Yverdon; I galloped, flew, and at ten o’clock in the morning I was already in place - I stopped at a tavern, powdered myself, took off my dagger and spurs, and went where my heart longed. There, a sixty-year-old man, the father of my beauty, met me with a gloomy look. "Dear Sir! - I said. - The respect with which my soul is filled with your dear daughter; a great, strong desire to see her...” - At that very moment she entered. "Julia! Do you know this gentleman?” the old man asked her. Julia looked at me and politely answered that she did not have this honor. Imagine my surprise! I was all trembling - trembled out loud as Klopstock says. It seemed to me that all the Swiss and Savoyard mountains had collapsed on my head. I could hardly gather my courage and, without saying a word, I handed my notebook to the unconscious Julia, where she saw her name, written in her own hand. The color appeared on the face of a cruel woman; She began to apologize to me and told my father: “I had the honor of having dinner with him in Basel.” He asked me to sit down. My blood still could not calm down, and I did not have the courage to look at Julia, who was also confused. The old man, hearing from me that I was a doctor of medicine, was very happy and began to talk to me about his illnesses. "Alas! “I thought, “is this why fate brought me to Yverdon to talk about the hemorrhoidal attacks of a decrepit old man?” Meanwhile, his daughter sat, sniffed tobacco and looked at me, but not at all the same as in Basel. Her gaze was as cold, as cold as the North Pole. Finally, my vanity, severely wounded, forced me to get up from my chair and take my leave. “How long will you stay in Yverdon?” asked Julia in her pleasant voice (and with such a grin that very clearly said: “I hope that you will not come to us another time”). “A few hours,” I answered. - “In that case, I wish you a safe journey.” “And happy practice,” said the old man, taking off his cap. We parted, and when I went out into the street, the hired servant, my guide, told me that the girl Yulia would soon marry Mr. NN. "A! Now I know the reason for the cold reception! “- I thought and redoubled my steps in order to quickly move away from the house of Mr. NN’s future wife. “The city of Yverdon has become disgusting to me. I was looking forward to dinner with great impatience and, sitting down at the table, ordered the servant to saddle my horse. Four Englishmen dined with me, who decided to drink my health with all the wines that the innkeeper had. I myself ordered two bottles of Bourgogne to be served to thank them, and thus about three hours passed unnoticed. My heart forgot all earthly grief and forgave the unfaithful Julia. The British, as usual, came up with different sentimental, or sensitive, health. I also, in turn, had to offer three or four. At the last one, I poured a full glass, raised it high and said loudly: “Whoever loves beauty and tenderness, drink with me to Julia’s health and wish the beauty a happy marriage!” The glasses rattled, the wine began to foam, and all the English exclaimed in one voice: “ We drink to Julia’s health and wish the beauty a happy marriage! “Meanwhile, I asked ten times if my horse was ready, and ten times they answered me that it had been standing at the porch for a long time. Finally the servant came to say that I could not go. - "It is forbidden? For what?” – “It gets late and clouds appear.” - “Nonsense!” I'll go! Horse!“ – Half an hour later the servant came again. “You can’t go.” - "It is forbidden? For what?” – “It’s getting late; The clouds thickened and it began to snow.” - “Nonsense!” I'll go! Horse!“ – A few minutes later the servant came up to me again. “You can’t go!” – “You can’t? For what?” – “It’s night outside; The snow is falling in bursts, and soon a strong wind will blow snowdrifts everywhere.” - “Nonsense!” I'll go, I'll go this minute! Horse!“ He said, got up from his chair, shook hands with the English, belted his dirk, paid the owner, jumped on his horse and set off at full speed along the Lausanne road. The wind and snow blew in my face, but I rubbed my eyes and constantly spurred my horse. Soon there was a terrible blizzard, and the white darkness completely deprived me of vision. I felt that I was driving off the road, but there was nothing to do. Forward, forward, to the will of God - and thus he wandered until half the night. Finally, the good mine, my faithful comrade, was completely exhausted and became. I got off him and led him by the bridle, but soon my strength was exhausted. Your unfortunate friend was already ready to fall onto a fluffy snowy bed, cover himself with a blanket of snow and entrust his fate to God; cold death with all its horrors hovered over me! Alas! I was already saying goodbye to my fatherland, to my friends, to chemical lectures and with all my flattering hopes! But fate showed me mercy, and suddenly I saw a peasant house in front of me. You can easily imagine my joy, and for this reason I will not describe it. It’s enough that they accepted me there, warmed me, fed me, and calmed me down. The next morning I forced the owner to take six francs from me and at ten o’clock in the morning I returned to Lausanne - with a severe cold. This is the end of my novel! Vale! V. – P.S. As soon as my cough subsides, I will return to my old home, the Republic of Geneva, under reliable protection magnificent syndics. They say you make a lot of noise!”