Why does the child sleep only in his mother’s arms and how to correct this situation? Why does a child sleep only in his arms? 3 month old baby sleeps in his arms

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Many young parents, tired of their baby's frequent awakenings at night, think about what a child's sleep should be like at 3 months. It is generally accepted that at this age, children first form a routine, thanks to which an obvious ratio of hours of sleep and wakefulness appears.

How much time per day should a child sleep? All babies develop on their own individual schedule, so this question is difficult to answer. Even experts give only average numbers, since most babies have different sleep patterns.

How much should a 3 month old baby sleep?

The main tasks of a newborn baby - eat enough and sleep a lot, gaining strength. He will need them for full growth and development. Therefore, after that, the babies sleep day and night, waking up only for the next feeding and.

A 3-month-old baby, unlike a newborn, begins to behave a little differently. He develops a need to explore the world around him and communicate with his parents, which is why the baby experiences longer periods of wakefulness.

At this age, the baby does not yet realize that he is tired and wants to rest. For this reason, parents should know how much a baby sleeps at 3 months and how much sleep he should have during the day and at night.

Daytime nap

The average amount of daily time that a baby should have for rest in the third month of life is 15-17 hours. Of course, this figure depends on the individual characteristics of the baby.

The total duration of daytime sleep for a 3 month old baby is from 4.5 to 5.5 hours. The baby can fall asleep for 40-90 minutes three to five times during the day.

Night sleep

A 3-month-old child should sleep from 10 to 12 hours, periodically interrupting night sleep for feedings as many times as he needs. Many children at this age wake up every 3 hours. But the most persistent ones are already beginning to withstand a 5-hour rest, usually in the first half of the night, without mother’s breast or bottle.

Both options are considered normal. If the baby is healthy, eats with appetite and looks quite cheerful, there is no need to worry.

Why does a child refuse to sleep?

A baby's sleep changes at 3 months. At this age, babies begin to become interested in everything that happens around them, as a result of which their daily routine may change. From a recent “sleepyhead”, by the age of three months a baby can turn into a fidget who sleeps poorly during the day and is capricious at night.

Sleep disturbances in infants occur due to various reasons.

If a child at 3 months begins to sleep poorly during the day and at night, the reasons may be as follows:

  • disease;
  • family situation;
  • organization of recreation;
  • failure .

If day or night sleep is ignored and there is no effect from motion sickness, the child’s well-being should be assessed.

Need to analyze:

  • whether his appetite has changed;
  • how many hours did the baby sleep last night;
  • number of awakenings.

If a 3-month-old child does not sleep well, regardless of the time of day, it is possible that he has a tummy ache from or has begun to hurt. Health problems primarily cause sleep disorders. Therefore, if a 3-month-old child sleeps restlessly at night and hardly rests during the day, you need to contact a pediatrician, who will try to find out the reason for what is happening and tell him what to do.

Some babies strive to sleep on their stomach almost from birth. Many young mothers follow the lead of their baby, believing that this position soothes stomach cramps. But experts are categorically against this approach.

The method of lying on your tummy for a few minutes during the day, but not sleeping in a similar position, solves the fight against flatulence. Of course, all children are individual, but a child should not sleep on his stomach at 3 months. This prohibition applies to all children under six months of age.

If your baby sleeps on his stomach, he may not wake up from a lack of oxygen caused by inhaling vomit or nasal congestion. This position also negatively affects the formation of his spine.

In case of frequent conflicts in the family, the baby begins to experience anxiety, which also affects his daily routine. What to do if a 3-month-old child sleeps little or poorly during the day? Perhaps think about the home atmosphere. In a family where calm and peace reign, all conditions have been created for the harmonious development of the baby.

Also, the fact that the baby does not sleep well at night is affected by the microclimate in the children's room. High ambient temperatures, dry air, too warm bedding - all this leads to restless sleep. It is not difficult to solve this problem by creating conditions for a comfortable stay. A mother will not be faced with the fact that her 3-month-old child sleeps poorly and anxiously if the room temperature is about 22°C and the humidity is more than 50%.

And another reason why your baby’s sleep suffers is a busy day or overstimulation. For example, a baby may sleep restlessly because of guests who arrived the day before or a large number of new impressions. Active knowledge of the world consumes enormous resources of the child’s body, so it is not surprising that against this background, a child’s daytime or nighttime sleep at 3 months will be temporarily affected.

Additionally, the problem when failures occur in the mode appears due to the fact that the baby has confused day with night. This situation is familiar to most parents. If a 3-month-old child sleeps a lot during the day and rests in the form of intermittent sleep for 40 minutes at night, then he does not feel the difference between the times of day. In this case, it is important to show him this difference by adjusting the baby’s daily routine.

How to accustom a 3-month-old baby to a routine?

Of course, infants will not follow a strict daily routine, as pediatricians advise. But you need to try to put your baby to bed at least at the same time.

It is also necessary to take into account that children at this age should not stay awake for more than 2 hours. Even if it seems that a child at 3 months is still active during the day, although he has not slept for a long time, this is a mistake. After two hours have passed since the previous sleep, you need to put the baby to bed by any means, otherwise difficulties will arise with this later. Such deviations from the regime lead to the child not sleeping well during the day or night.

Additionally, you should take your baby for a sufficient walk every day and wash him shortly before putting him to bed, preferably at the same time. If the weather permits, two daytime naps outside, an evening swim and a hearty dinner eliminate the situation when the baby does not sleep well at night.

What to do if your child doesn't sleep well?

In order for your baby to fall asleep easily, the home environment should be calm and comfortable. Optimal temperature and humidity in the room, ventilation during the day, bathing and a hearty dinner no later than eight o'clock in the evening will allow a 3-month-old child to sleep as long as it takes to rest.

If you put your baby to bed later, he will most likely be more capricious and tired, and the process of falling asleep will take an indefinite amount of time. Therefore, the child’s activity should not be a priority for a young mother. By putting your baby to bed at the same time, you can avoid many sleep problems.

Children who have confused day with night need to be shown the difference in the day. A lot of light and noise indicate hours of wakefulness and short sleep; dim light and silence indicate the onset of long rest.

If your baby sleeps a lot during the day and doesn’t want to go to bed at night, you don’t need to follow his lead. Let there be more light in the room in the morning, the TV on, household members talking loudly, and in the evening, on the contrary, soothing music will be turned on, communication is conducted in a whisper, and the room is illuminated only with the help of a table lamp.

Of course, solving the problem will not be easy. It will take a lot of time and patience for a baby to stop confusing day and night. But the benefits of the achieved regime will have a positive impact on the well-being of both the baby and his parents.

Knowing the answer to the question of how much sleep a baby should sleep at 3 months is too little. It is also necessary to take into account the needs of your baby, since all children are individual. Some are born bright fidgets, others, on the contrary, are ready to sleep a lot day and night, becoming real “sleepyheads” for their mother.

How much sleep per day does a 3 month old baby need? On average, the duration of rest at this age is 14-17 hours during the day. To get closer to this figure, parents must provide their baby with a comfortable environment for relaxation and try to establish his routine. Sufficient walks in the fresh air, regular bathing, a well-established or calm atmosphere in the family can help with this. Under these conditions, a healthy, cheerful child of 3 months will not have problems sleeping well during the day or at night.

Useful video about how and how much sleep a child should sleep

What to do if the child sleeps only in his arms? How to wean a child from this habit? How to transfer a baby to a crib? Is it always possible for a baby to sleep in his arms? How can a baby be taught to sleep in a crib and how does sleeping in a crib affect the quality of sleep of all family members? In this article, we invite you to understand these issues.

A baby appeared in the house. A young family prepares for this bright event in advance - it buys a “dowry” - diapers, undershirts, toys, pacifiers, a stroller, and, of course, a crib. A loving mother tries to create comfort in the baby’s “nest”, so she arranges the cradle - selecting beautiful bedding, bumpers and the cutest mobile phones.

And this is the first night at home. Mom wants to put her sleeping baby in his cozy crib, but as soon as she brings the baby to her, he wakes up and starts crying. Mom calms him down, gives him breastfeeding, rocks him to sleep again and makes a second attempt. This attempt ends in the same way - only now the child cries even longer and even more intensely. Then mom calls to help dad. Dad walks around the room for a long, long time with the tired baby, rocking him. Finally, the baby fell asleep. Whispering, the parents, barely breathing, carefully try to put the child to sleep in the crib. And now, we almost succeeded! But as soon as dad removes his hand from the crib, crying is heard.

Desperate, mom invites dad to take the baby into bed with them, and then a miracle happens - the baby falls asleep instantly, getting to his mother’s side.

The next day, the young parents make a new attempt to teach their child to sleep in their beautiful crib. But all the numerous shifts end in the same thing - the baby’s crying and his instant awakening after he is put in his crib.

On the third day, the mother no longer even makes attempts to put the baby in bed: “the baby doesn’t like the crib,” “no matter what I do, it’s useless.”

After some time, the crib becomes filled with clothes, some children's things, and then it ends up being put away in another room as unnecessary.

The parents concluded that the crib was apparently unsuitable. Since the baby really doesn’t want to sleep in it, we decided to wait until the baby is ready for it. Then it will be possible to make a second attempt to teach the child to sleep in a crib, and not just in the parent’s or in the arms. Is this a familiar situation?

Sleeping only in your arms?

What to do in the case when the baby does not agree to sleep in a crib and sleeps only in his arms, and at what age can he start sleeping differently?

A child is born completely dependent on his mother and not at all adapted to life in this world; he still needs his mother’s help in everything. This also applies to sleep issues.

In order to help the baby fall asleep, the best thing a mother can do is to reproduce the “conditions of the uterus,” the conditions in which the baby was most recently. To do this, mom can:

  • that is, to create a slight crowding,
  • hug you, take you in your arms
  • shake

After all, before the baby was in exactly these conditions: constant movement, dim light, cramped conditions, noise. And it is precisely such conditions that will associatively help him calm down. Therefore, falling asleep and sleeping a child in your arms for up to 3-4 months is quite acceptable as long as the so-called fourth trimester of “gestation” continues.

The most important thing for parents in the period up to three months is to equip the baby’s sleeping place safely!

A safe place to sleep.

This is a place where a baby cannot suffocate, burying his nose in soft bedding, where there is a fairly hard mattress and a complete absence of any unnecessary objects. After all, the crib should be associated with sleep, not with games.

A safe bed is an empty bed!

  • A crib without soft bumpers, pillows and blankets.
  • Instead of a blanket, it is better to use a sleeping bag.
  • Hard mattress
  • Lack of toys
  • Location of the crib: not near the window or radiator, but close to the parent’s.

The location of the crib is the very moment from which you need to teach your child to get used to the crib. Until the age of 6 months, a crib without a side is suitable for a baby. Thus, on the one hand, mother and baby will have a single space, but on the other, the child will still be in his own safe territory.

How to transfer a baby to a crib?

But how can you transfer a baby to a crib if, when you transfer it from your arms, he immediately wakes up?

Up to 3-4 months, the baby still needs help from his mother when falling asleep, so falling asleep in his arms is normal at this age.

It is better to shift the baby in a diaper or in a diaper -. This way, it will be easier for the baby not to feel the temperature difference between the arm and the crib.

Use when falling asleep

By the time you finish, try to keep your movements as smooth and calm as possible, close to a static position so that it is easier for the baby to get used to the static position of the crib.

Do not transfer the baby from your arms right away, wait until the breathing becomes deeper

At the moment of sleep, stay close to the baby and the crib, shush, quietly sing a song, touch your baby. This is important because the presence of a mother is very calming.

Gradually help your baby learn to fall asleep on his own

A certain distance from the mother when the baby is sleeping in the crib is one of the reasons for restless sleep in the crib, and if you let the baby feel his mother’s presence, his sleep will be more peaceful.

Starting from 5-6 months of the baby, you can reduce your assistance. One of the main aspects of sleep training is sleeping in a crib. In order for a child to sleep peacefully in a crib, after mom or dad puts him there, he must see and “be aware” of the place in which he finds himself. In this case, waking up will not cause anxiety (“Where am I?”), and the child will have much more opportunities to fall asleep without active mother’s help.

The baby sleeps only in his arms, because he simply does not know that he can fall asleep any other way. The task of parents is to gently and carefully give the baby a new experience of falling asleep.

The expression “The child does not like the crib” is not a correct statement. Kids in general are very conservative and “love” what is familiar and familiar to them. If a child is used to sleeping in his arms, he will love to sleep like this. If his parents helped him get used to not sleeping in his arms, but in a crib, he will love the crib and not sleep in his arms.

The most important point in teaching a baby in a crib is the sequence of his actions. Consistency is their predictability and repetition from day to day. If parents act differently, it is much more difficult for the child to understand what they want from him.

And the most important thing in the parents’ mood is their inner calm, which is undoubtedly transmitted to the baby, helping him to sleep peacefully.

You have your first child and you worry about everything (is this true, is this right)? Your concerns are completely understandable. After all, your most important desire is to make sure that your baby is as comfortable as possible here, in a new world for him.

But here’s the problem: the baby just doesn’t want to sleep alone. No matter how clever you are, the child sleeps in your arms. And that's the only way. The slightest attempts to transfer the baby to the crib fail. Is everything normal with the baby, if not to raise him to be an “egoist of the first guild”, manipulating all the household members to please his whims?

Let's figure out whether these concerns of yours are really that serious.

Features of newborn psychology

Like any human being, the baby also has psychological characteristics. After all, the psyche is a tool of Homo sapiens. Here you are for one or two weeks trying to put your baby to sleep in a crib, but the result is the same: the child sleeps only in your arms, and as soon as you put him in, he immediately wakes up.

To understand what the child is missing and how to help the newborn improve sleep, you need to know what feelings drive him at these moments.

Just put yourself in the child’s shoes and try to feel what he feels:

  1. For the previous 9 months, when he was still a fetus and lived in your tummy, you were constantly and inseparably next to him;
  2. Mom was a source of food, peace, security, safety during sleep and wakefulness;
  3. The baby all the time heard your heart beating, how you breathed, heard your voice. This became for him a symbol of joy and harmony;
  4. Birth is a difficult and traumatic situation for a newborn. Especially if the birth was difficult, with complications;
  5. Why did he go through all this - to be separated from you and lose these pleasant sensations? Now he can’t figure out where his mother is—peace and safety—and why she’s not always there.

Before you panic: the child sleeps only in his arms, what to do?! – imagine the stress level of the baby. After all, out of nowhere, everything changed dramatically.

  • Mom's tummy was noisy all the time, even while sleeping. It was dark and cramped;
  • All life processes took place in constant motion, including sleep;
  • There were the same smells and sensations. 24 hours a day.

And now everything around has become light, dry, spacious, the noises are completely different, as if muffled, sleep should be without movement, there is so much “extra” around for sight and smell.

Can you imagine how much emotional strength a baby needs to cope with all this? And in all this, it is important not to lose his mother, who is his everything, because babies do not know how to count time and realize that she will return in a couple of minutes.

And sleep is a period when the baby does not see his mother, which means she is not around. That’s why it’s so important for your baby to feel your presence.

Interesting! Scientists say that the first three months after the birth of a child is the fourth trimester of pregnancy, which evolution took away from a person in exchange for the fact that he would walk on 2 legs.

So now it’s important for the baby to get enough of you in every sense.

The easier you treat this period, the more correctly and gently you care for your baby, the faster he will calm down, get used to it and let you go while he sleeps.

Watch the online course “Happy Motherhood: Methods of Gentle Care” where you will get acquainted with the characteristics of a baby from 0 to 3 months and master the practice of bathing, swaddling, rocking, comfortable sleeping with the baby.

Features of newborn sleep

Has it become clearer why babies’ sleep can be restless, the baby often wakes up and cries?

He is forced to constantly “go to sleep” in these new conditions, where it is spacious and there is no usual “comfort zone” (as it was in his mother’s stomach), where there is a completely different position for sleeping (not upside down, not curled up).

His nervous system is overloaded with impressions, and crying is the only way available to him to communicate with the new world and with his mother, whom you can no longer kick in the tummy. So he cries, not seeing or feeling his mommy nearby.

  1. In the first few weeks, the baby's sleep can take up to 20 hours a day, that is, almost all the time remaining after feeding, swaddling and bathing;
  2. Gradually, the time spent awake will increase and it is important not to overtire the baby during this period with new impressions or physical activity;
  3. At the same time, the time of daytime and night sleep can have different durations: longer during the day, shorter at night, or vice versa;

These parameters are always individual and there is nothing wrong with that. Over time, sleep will improve. Well, the fact that a 1-month-old baby sleeps only in his mother’s arms or in close contact with her, as you already understand, is associated by the baby with peace and security, with everything that is most beautiful and necessary for him now.

Mom's hands instead of her tummy

There is no need to take away these sensations from a child: at this age it will definitely only get worse. For him now you are the whole world and life itself!

The desire to be held in your arms during sleep is especially acute in a premature, weakened, low-weight baby, after a difficult birth, or during a period of malaise.

Know! Even if a 2-month-old baby sleeps only in your arms or on your stomach, this is absolutely normal.

  • The fact is that until 3-4 months, a child, due to the immaturity of the nervous system, does not form habits. Let him sleep in your arms or next to you, but in constant physical and emotional contact;
  • Closer to 3 months, you can gradually give the child the opportunity to sleep alone: ​​at first, just let it be a sleep not in your arms, but next to it, “under the wing” of the mother;
  • Then move away from your baby a little each time as he falls asleep.

In the meantime, he really needs his mother’s touches, kisses, her voice, the warmth of her hands, the beat of her heart, her breath, her smell.

You will begin to worry when the child, even after 3 months, continues to sleep only in his arms, not wanting to relearn (also read the article

The main activities of a newborn baby are eating and sleeping. Both of these processes require the participation of the mother, and if with food everything is more or less simple, then sleep sometimes becomes a real problem. Sometimes the sleep of a beloved baby begins to disturb the mother, when the child falls asleep and sleeps only in her arms, and as soon as you try to put the baby in a crib (or stroller), he immediately wakes up and has to be rocked to sleep again. Mom is forced to either sleep half-sitting, for fear of dropping the baby, or not sleep at all. There are understandable reasons for this child’s behavior, without understanding which it is impossible to “untie” the mother’s hands. We will talk about them.

Why does he sleep in his arms

The need for constant physical contact with the mother for the baby is undeniable. Being in the arms and feeling the mother's warmth, the newborn baby calms down and feels safe. Psychologists studying issues of attachment between mother and child have found that children who have the opportunity to endlessly enjoy their mother’s touch grow up more successful, self-confident, and strong. They learn the postulate from birth “This world needs me, they love me here”.

Sleep for a child is a special state. Children live “here and now”. The child closes his eyes - and the world ceases to exist for him, and the world for him is, first of all, his mother. Therefore, the situation of falling asleep in itself is already alarming for the baby. The desire not only to fall asleep in your arms, but also to remain there for the entire duration of sleep, can be caused by various reasons: poor health, emotional overexcitement, or encountering some kind of traumatic situation (quarrels at home, tension between family members). The reasons may be completely different, but they have a common root: the child experiences severe anxiety and does not feel safe even in his sleep.

There is an opinion that you can get used to sleeping in your arms if you often take the baby in your arms in the first weeks of life and rock him (Cm ). Out of fear of hand training, some mothers ignore the baby's crying and restlessness, leaving the baby to fall asleep alone in the crib, exhausted by long screams. After a while, such children actually begin to fall asleep on their own and calmly agree to sleep separately (sometimes even in a separate room), however, there is nothing good about this. The child resigns himself to the fact that he cannot receive mother’s warmth, and the baby can no longer form a reliable, secure attachment to his mother.

8 ways to put your baby to sleep

By following a few simple steps, you can help your baby finally relax and fall asleep.

What should mom do?

However, no matter how natural the child’s desires may be, for a mother a baby sleeping only in her arms is very difficult, and trying to wean the baby from this habit means going against nature. How can this be? The best way is not to separate the child from your arms (Cm ), but try to satiate this need for contact in other ways so that the child becomes ready to sleep in the crib.

  1. Try to hold your baby in your arms as often as possible while awake. It turns out to be very useful for this purpose. In a sling, the baby is pressed against the mother with his whole body, feels her warmth and is aware of all events. At the same time, the mother does not experience enormous stress and inconvenience, as if the child was in her arms.
  2. Don't give up co-sleeping with your baby. If you practice co-sleeping from birth, the child will have no fear of separation from his mother, because from the first days he will feel that his mother is nearby. In this case, the need to be and even sleep in your arms will not be so painful (Link to the article about when to teach a baby to sleep separately above).
  3. If co-sleeping is unacceptable for you, try to properly organize your baby's sleeping place. Instead of a spacious one that is disproportionate to the baby’s body, buy a cradle, and don’t give up swaddling for sleep. Of course, all these measures will not replace mother’s hands, but in such conditions the child will be much calmer and more comfortable. The fact is that safety for the baby is associated with its presence in the mother’s belly: the mother’s womb tightly hugs the baby, its arms and legs are pressed to the body. In a crib and without a diaper, the child does not feel the boundaries around him, this makes his fears and discomfort intensify, he has trouble falling asleep and sleeps restlessly, constantly demanding his mother’s attention (read).
  4. Babies are very sensitive to odors, so you can put some of your mother’s clothes next to your sleeping baby. Familiar smells will lull the baby's vigilance.

Swaddling and how to put your baby to sleep

All these measures are unlikely to be able to completely relieve the mother of the need to rock and sleep the baby in her arms, but they can make the “tame” period easier for the mother and give her the opportunity to sometimes rest. Sleeping in arms will remain only for cases of increased need to be close to mommy, and will cease to be a constant occurrence in the life of the family.

We also read:

  • (in his crib)