Funny phrases sayings. Funny sayings and funny aphorisms. Women's funny sayings

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FP, YuFP FSCH DEMBEYSH CH DBOOSHK NPNEOF, CHRPMOE NPTSEF PLBBBFSHUS FCHPYN RPUMEDOYN RPUFHRLPN ABOUT YENMA. h NYTE OEF UYMSCH, LPFPTBS NPZMB VSC ZBTBOFYTPCHBFSH FEVE, YuFP FSH RTPTSYCHYSH EEЈ IPFS VSC NYOHFH...

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vPZ OE URTPUIF, ULPMSHLP KH FEVS DTHJEK. according to URTPUIF, ULPMSHLIN MADSN fng VShchM DTHZPN....

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CH TSIYOY CHUEZDB EUFSH NEUFP RTBDOILKH. oKhTsOP FPMSHLP KHNEFSH Ch LFP NEUFP RPRBUFSH.
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PVMBDBOIE YUKHCHUFCHPN ANPTB RPJCHPMSEF MEZUE RETEOUFY PFUHFUFCHYE CHUEZP PUFBMSHOPZP!
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OE PFOPUYFEUSH L TSYOY FBL UETSHЈЪOP. chBN CHUE TBCHOP OE CHSHVTBFSHUS YЪ OEЈ CYCHSHNY.
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OE VSHCHBEF VECHSHIPDOSCHI UIFKHBGYK. eUFSH FPMSHLP UYFKHBGYY, CHSHCHIPD YJ LFPTSCHI FEVS OE KHUFTBYCHBEF.
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h ZMHVYOE DKHY CHUE MADI IPTPYE. rTPUFP ZMHVIOB TBIOBS...

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GYCHYMYYBGYS KHYMB CHRETD, PUFBCHYCH LHMSHFHTH DBMELP RPЪBDY UEWS...
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OE CYCHY RP YOUFTHHLGYY, RPNTYYSH PF PREYUBFLY...

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OE CHETYF FPF, LFP UBN EUVS CHEMILINE NOIF... OBEDYOE U UPVPK NSCH NOIN DTHZYI ZMHREE...

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YUEN RTYNFYCHOEE YUEMPCHEL, FEN VPMEE CHSHCHUPLPZP BY PUEVE NOOOYS.

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Yuen MKHYUYE CHYDOB ZTHDSH DECHKHYLY, FEN IHTSE EBRPNYOBEFUS EE MYGP.

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DECHKHYLY, OE TBUUFTBYCHBKFEUSH, EUMY KH CHBU NBMEOSHLBS ZTHDSH. eUFSH NOPZP RBTOEK U NBMEOSHLYNY MBDPYLBNY...

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oYuFP FBL OE PFCHMELBEF PF TsYOY, LBL VPTSHVB ЪB UKHEEUFCHPCHBOYE.
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TSYOSH RPDPVOB FEMEZTBNNE - LPTPFLBS Y U PYYVLBNY.
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khNOSHCHK YuEMPCHEL OE PVTSBEFUS, B DEMBEF CHSCCHPDSH...

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LFP RPUFPSOOP DKHNBEF P OEDPUFBAEEN, FPF CHUEZDB VHDEF VEDEO Y OBTSCEO CHOKHFTEOOEK ЪMPVPK.
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OE VEDB, SFP EUFSH MADI, LPFPTSCHE RSHSOES UFBOPCHSFUS DHTBLBNY, VEDB, SFP
EUFSH MADI, LPFPTSHCHE FTECHES OE UFBOPCHSFUS KHNOSHCHNY.
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FPMSHLP PYUEOSH KHNOSHCHK YUEMPCHEL NPTsEF RP-OBUFPSEENH PGEOYFSH ZMHRPUFSH.
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PDOYN MADSN YDHF YI OEDPUFBFLY, B DTHZYN DBCE DPUFPYOUFCHB OE L MYGH.
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UOYNBEF YEMPCHEL ZHYMSHN P CHEMYLPK mAVCHY, B RPMHYUBEFUS ZPCHOP. b DTHZPK YUEMPCHEL WOINBEEF ZHYMSHN P ZPCHOE, B RPMHYUBEFUS EDECHT. lBLYE MADY TBOSH...

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X LPZP OEF YDEK, FPF OE CHYDYF Y ZBLFPCH
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MHYUYE PDOKH NYOHFKH VSHFSH FTHUPN, YUEN CHUA TSYOSH - RPLPKOILPN.
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ANPT Y UNEY, OBTBCHOE U MAVPCHSHA - PUOPCHOSCHE UPUFBCHMSAEYE ЪДПТПЧПК ЦИЪой.
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RPLB CHSC PBVPYUEOSCH FEN, YuFP ULBTSHF P CHBU DTHZIE MADI, CHSC OBIPJFEUSH CH YI CHMBUFY.

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YuEMPCHEL RPIPTS ABOUT PVEYSHSOKH: YUEN CHCHYE PO ЪBMEЪBEF, FEN VPMSHYE PO DENPOUFTYTHEF UCPA ЪBDOYGH.

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OE VPKUS CHTBZPCH - CH IKHYEN UMKHYUBE POY NPZHF FEVS KHVYFSH.
OE VPKUS DTHJEK - CH IKHYEN UMKHYUBE SING NPZHF FEVS RTEDBFSH.
vPKUS TBCHOPDHYOSCHI - SING OE KHVYCHBAF Y OE RTEDBAF, OP FPMSHLP U YI NPMYUBMYCHPZP UPZMBUYS UKHEEUFCHHEF ABOUT UNM RTEDBFEMSHUFCHP Y KHVYKUFCHP.

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pCTSYTEOYE DKHYY UP CHTENEOEN RTYCHPDYF L PCYTEOYA FEMB.

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OBDP IKhDEFSH, YuFPVSH OE VShchFSH MYYLPN VPMSHYPK NYYEOSHA DMS UMKHYUBKOPK RKHMY.

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LPMYUEUFChP TBHNB ABOUT RMBOEF - CHEMYYUYOB RPUFPSOOBS. b OBUEMEOYE TBUFEF.
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CHCHNOE OBRPNIOBEFE NEOS PE NMBDEOOYUEUFCHE: FPTSE OPTPCHYFE CHUЈ PVPUTBFSH!
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1 BRTEMS UNEYOOEE CHUEI DPMTSOP VSHFSH YNEOOOP FPNKH, OB LEN CHSC RPDYKHFYMY. eUMY ENKH ZTHUFOP YMY PO RPCHEUYMUS - YHFLB SCHOP OE KHDBMBUSH, LBL VSH OH UNESMYUSH CHUE PUFBMSHOSCH.

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sing RYUBMY DTHZ DTHZH CH pDOPLMBUUOILBI FBLYE OETsOSCHE UPPVEEOYS, UFP RMBLBMY CHUE UPFTHDOYLY zhu...

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x OBU CH CHILDREN'S OEF OH LPOFBLFPCH, OH PDOPLMBUUOYLPCH... bFP EUFSH NOPZP UEOPCHBMPCH DMS LPOFBLFPCH U PDOPLMBUUOILBNY.

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TSYOSH - LFP BOELDPF, FPMSHLP FBLPK DMYOOSHCHK, YuFP CH LPOGE HCE OE UNEYOP.

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MKHYUYK URPUPV RPNPYUSH VEDOSCHN - LFP OE UFBFS PDOYN YOYI.

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uChPVPDB - LFP OE FP, YuFP ChBN DBMY. lFP - FP, YuFP Kh ChBU OEMSHЪS PFOSFSH
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EUMY ZPUKHDBTUFCHP PF FEVS YuEZP-FP IPYUEF, FP POP OBSCCHBEF UEVS tPDYOPK.

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OBLBOKHOE CHSHCHVPTPCH RPMYFYLY OBUYOBAF FBL YOFEOUYCHOP MAVYFSH tPDYOH, YuFP LFP RPIPTSE ABOUT ZTHRRRPCHPE YOBUYMPCHBOYE.

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OBYB UYUFENB ЪDTTBCHPPITBOEOYS GEMEOBRTBCHMEOOOP Y IMBDOPLTPCHOP HOYUFPTSBEFUS. TEZHPTNB ЪDTTBCHPPITBOEOYS CH tPUUYY RTPCHPDYFUS FBL, UFP CHEDEF L EZP RPMOPNKH TBJCHBMKH.

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eUMY CHCH MAVYFE ZPUKHDBTUFCHP - TsYCHYFE OEDPMZP, DMS ZPUKHDBTUFCHB LFP CHZPDOP!...

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eUMY ZTBTSDBOYO OE IPUEF YURPMOYFSH UCHPK ZTBTSDBOULYK DPMZ, FP ZPUKHDBTUFChP CHSHRPMOYF UHRTKHTSEULYK.

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PF RETEUFBOPCHLY NEUF YUYOPCHOYLPCH UKHNNB CHJSFPL NEOSHYE OE UFBOPCHYFUS.

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"DETSHNP CH RPTTHVY". - TERPTTFBC U LTEEEOUULPZP LHRBOYS YYOPCHOILPC TBKPOOPK BDNYOUFTBGYY...

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lTEUMP YYOPCHOILB DPMTSOP VSHFSH RPYYFP YЪ LPTSY RTEDSHDHEEZP YYOPCHOILB, RPRBCHYEZPUS ABOUT CHSFLE!
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CHUE NSCH TSICHEN RP PDOPNH RTYOGYRH: "mAVYFSH OEMSHYS YURPMSHЪPCHBFSH". OP CHPF ЪBRSFHA LBTSDSCHK UFBCHYF UBN...
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YUEMPCHEL VEJ NEYUFSH, LBL RFYGB VE LTSHMSHECH: ZBDYFSH - NPTsEF, B MEFBFSH - OEF.
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UPCHTENEOOPE PVTBBPCHBOIE CH VPMSHYOUFCHE UCHPЈN - LFP LPZDB TPTSDOOSHI RPMЪBFSH Y TPTSDEOOSHHI MEFBFSH UPVYTBAF CHNEUFE Y OBCHSYUYCHP HYUBF IPDYFSH ABOUT IPDKHMSI.
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UPNOEOYS - LFP DPUFPYOUFCHP UIMSHOSCHI Y RTPLMSFYE UMBVSCHI.
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OE RYFBKFE YMMAYK - SING VSHCHUFTP KHNYTBAF PF PCYTEOYS.
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CH LBTSDPK YKHFLE EUFSH DPMS RTBCHDSCH, Y YUEN POB VPMSHYE, FEN ZMHREE YKHFLB.
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RTBCHYMSHOP OBFBULBOOBS UPCHEUFSH OYLPZDB OE ZTSCHJEF UCHPEZP IPJSOB...
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OBTSYFSH NOPZP DEOEZ - ITBVTPUFSH; UPITBOIFSH YI - NHDTPUFSH, B KHNEMP TBUIPDPCHBFSH - YULHUUFCHP.
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UPZMBUOP OBTPDOPK RTYNEFE, CH OPCHSHCHK DPN RETCHSHCHN OHTSOP CHRKHULBFSH YOFETOEF-LBVEMSH. th HERE ON MSCEF - FBN UFBCHSHFE LTPCHBFSH. th ufpm. th LPNR. th TsTBYULH....

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tsYOSH - LFP DCHYTSEOYE. pUPVEOOOP EUMY LFP RPMPCHBS TSY'OSH.
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eUMY KH CHBU OEF PFGB, FP EЈ MLOIFE RTBCHPK LOPRLPK NSHCHYY ABOUT TBVPYUEN UFPME, Y CHSHVETYFE "UPЪDBFSH RBRLKH".
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VHIYVTBOOSCHI NHDTPUFSH RTYIPDIF U CHPTBUFPN, VHI NOPZYI U CHPTBUFPN RTYIPDIF FPMSHLP NBTBN

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eUMY FEVS PVIDEMY, RPMSHЪHKUS CHPMYEVOSCHN RTBCHYMPN FTEI “r”: RPOSFSH, RTPUFYFSH, RPIPTPOYFSH.

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OYLPZDB OE DEMBKFE OYUEZP RTBCHYMSHOP U RETCHPZP TBBB, YOBYUE OILFP RPFPN OE PGEOIF, LBL LFP VSHMP UMPTsOP..

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eUMY HYUTETSDEOOYE RPTBCEOP LPTTHRGYEK - OBYUIF POP OILPNKH OE OHTSOP.

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RPVETSDBAF FE, LFP KHCHETEO CH UCHPYI UIMBI. fPF, LFP OE URPUPVEO ETSEDOECHOP RTEPDPMECHBFSH UFTBI, EEE OE CHSHCHHYUM UCHPK RETCHSHCHK CH TSYOY HTPL.

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VPZBF Y CHSTBYFEMEO TKHUULYK SJSHL. oP HCE Y EZP UFBMP OE ICHBFBFSH.

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VKHDHEEE - LFP FBLBS ZHYZOS, LPFPTBS OEUNPFTS OH ABOUT YFP, RTYVMYTSBEFUS UP ULPTPUFSHA 60 NYOHF CH YUBU.
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YUEN NEOSHYE TSEOOEYOH NSCH MAVYN - FEN VPMSHYE READING NSCH URYN.
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OE ICHBUFBKUS, YuFP FCHPS TSEOB MHYUYE CHUEI: TsEOEYOSCH NPZHF PVYDEFSHUS, B NHTSYUYOSCH ЪBIPFSF KHVEDYFSHUS...
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OYuFP FBL OE KHLTBYBEF TSEOOEYOKH, LBL CHTEENOOPE PFUKHFUFCHYE NHTSB.
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NBMSHYUYL U RBMSHYUYL CHShTPU Y UFBM TsPRK U THYULPK.
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YOCHEUFYGYS CH TPUUYKULHA LLPOPNYILH RPDPVOB YOYAELGYY CH RTPFE.
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RPD OPCCHCHK ZPD CHUЈ UVSCCHBEFUS.
- dBCE FP, YuFP CH DTHZPE CHTENS ZPDB UVShchFSH OE HDBЈFUS!
EUMY FSCH RPDVETYYSH ZPMPDOHA UPVBLKH Y UDEMBEYSH ITS TSYOSH USCHFPK - POB OYLPZDB OE KHLKHUIF FEVS...
h LFPN RTYOGYRYBMSHOBS TBYOYGB NETSDH UPVBLPK Y YUEMPCHELPN!
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NSCH HYYNUS ZPCHPTYFSH DCHB ZPDB, B NPMYUBFSH CHUA TSYOSH.
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YI CHUEI UELUHBMSHOSHI YICHTBEEOYK UBNSHCHN ZOHUOSCHN SCHMSEFUS GEMPNKHDTYE.
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MADI RPUTEDUFCHEOOSCH PE CHUEN RTEKHURECHBAF, YVP OILPNH OE NEYBAF.
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YUEMPCHEL - LFP DCHETSH, ЪB LPFPTPK PLBTSEFUS FP, YuFP FSH CH UPUFPSOY CHNEUFYFSH
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OE UFTBIOP, EUMY PDYO. UFTBYOP, EUMY OPMSH!
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DBCHBKFE PFTSHCHBFSH DTHZH DTHZH THDYNEOFSH..!
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NYT RPMPO RUYIPCH. eUMY OE IPUEYSH YI KHCHYDEFSH, ЪBRTY DCHETSH, ЪBCHEUSH PLOB Y TBVEK ЪETLBMP.
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CHEMILYE KHNSCH PVUKHTSDBAF YDEY. UTEDOYE - UPVCHFYS, PUFBMSHOSHE PVUKhTSDBAF MADEK.
UYUBUFSH RTYIPDIF OE FPZDB, LPZDB CHEYBEYSH RPDLPCHH, B LPZDB UOINBEYSH IPNHF.
"fFP OEPRYUKHENP" - ULBUBMB UPVBLB, ZMSDS ABOUT VBPVBBV.
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ULBTSY NOE, P YUEN FSH DKHNBEYSH, Y S ULBTSKH YUEN.
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YUEN CHCHYE RPUFBCHMEOOBS RETED CHBNY GEMSH, FEN KHDPVOEE UNPFTEFSH ABOUT OEЈ ЈЦБ.
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VSHCHUFTEE CHUEZP YUEMPCHEL DPVYCHBEFUS CHSHCHUPLYI TEKHMSHFBFPCH, LPZDB PUKHEEUFCHMSEF UCHPY OYINEOOSCH TSEMBOYS.
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UBNSH RTPFPRFBOOSCH RHFY - CH OILHDB.

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eUMY DSFEM OE DPMVIF, BY MYVP URIF, MYVP HNET. eUMY YUEMPCHEL DHTBL, FP LFP OBDPMSP, B EUMY NHDBL - HCE OCHUEZDB.
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OBRPMEPO RETCHSHCHK VSHM RETCHSHCHK, LFP UYYFBM UEVS obRPMEPOPN.
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EUMY UPMOGE OE UCHEFYF, LFP EEE OE OBYUIF, YuFP EZP CHCHUE OEF.
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PDOYN MADSN YDHF YI OEDPUFBFLY, B DTHZYN DBCE DPUFPYOUFCHB OE L MYGH.
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EUMY CHUESDB YDEFE OBRTPMPN, LFP OE OBYUYF, YuFP chBN CHEDE TBDSCH.
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TSIDLIE BRMPDYUNEOFSH LBL TSIDLYK UFHM - PDOP TBUUFTPKUFCHP.
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FENOPE RTPYMPE - MKHYUYK ZhPO VMI VMEUFSEEZP VKHDHEEZP.
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CHPF Y OBUFKHRYMP VKHDHEEE - PF NBYO FERMB VPMSHYE, YUEN PF MADEK.
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NHTSYUYOKH FTHDOP ULMPOYFSH L UHRTHTSEULPK YЪNEOE FPMSHLP RTY PUFEPIPODTPE.
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IPFS YICHYMYO NPZZB OE CHYDOP, OP LPZDB YI OEF, - LFP PYUEOSH ЪBNEFOP.
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RPMPTSYFEMSHOSH BNPGYY - LFP BNPGYY, LPFPTSCHE CHPOILBAF, EUMY ABOUT CHUE RPMPTSYFSH.
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OE VPKUS: RPLB PO OE KHOBEF FEVE YUFYOOKHA GEOH - OE RTDBUF.
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ULMETP CHSHHMEYUYFSH OEMSH, ЪBFP P OEN NPTsOP ЪБВШЧФШ.
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RTETSDE YUEN CHUFBCHBFSH CH RPЪKH, RPDKHNBKFE - B CHDTHZ POB RPLBTTSEFUS LPNH-OYVKhDSH RTYCHMELBFEMSHOPK...
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DBTSE UBNBS VPMSHYBS RTBCHDB VEUUYMSHOB RTPFYCH NBMEOSHLPK MTSY, EUMY MPTSSH KHUFTBYCHBEF CHUEI!
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YUEMPCHYUEULBS TSYOSH RPIPTSB ABOUT LPTPVLH URYUEL: PVTBEBFSHUS U OEK UETSHOP - UNEYOP. pVTBEBFSHUS OUEETSHEOP - PRBUOP.

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lPZDB OE DPUFYZBAF TSEMBENPZP, DEMBAF CHYD, YuFP TSEMBMY DPUFYZOHFPZP.
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NSHUMY LBL CHPMPUSH: X LPZP-FP - UMBVSCHE, X LPZP-FP - ZTSЪOSCHE, B X LPZP-FP - RTBLFYUEULY PFUHFUFCHHAF.
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EUMY FEVS CHUЈ CHTENS FSOEF L RPMPTSYFEMSHOSHCHN MADSN, OBYUIF FSH PFTYGBFEMSHOSHCHK!
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PDOP YUBNSHCHI VPMSHYI KHDPCHPMSHUFCHYK - YUKHCHUFChP FBKOPZP RTECHPUIPDUFCHB OBD FEN, LFP UYYFBEF UEVS CHCHYE, YUEN FSC.
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MADY PIPFOP NPMYUBF, EUMY FEEUMBCHYE OE RPVKHTsDBEF YI ZPCHPTYFSH.
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DYMENNB LTYFYLB: MYVP PVYDEFSH BCHFPTB, ULBBCH ENKH RTBCHDH, MYVP, UPMZBCH, HOYJFSH UEVS UBNPZP.
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P CHLKHUBI OE URPTSF - URPTSF PV YI LBUEUFCHE.
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VE'KHNGSH RTPLMBDSHCHBAF RKhFY, RP LPFPTSHCHN UMEDPN RPKDHF TBUUKhDYFEMSHOSHCHE.
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B NSCHUMSH Y OE OBDP KHVYCHBFSH - YJHTPDHK EE DP OEKHOBCHBENPUFY POB KHNTEF UBNB.
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KHUREY OYLPZDB OE RTYIPDIF PDYO. u OIN RTYIPDSF DCHE LEADING: ЪБЧУФОПЛІY УПБЧФПТШ.
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MHYUYE PDYO TB CHSFSHUS ЪB KHN, YUEN RPFPN CHUA TSYOSH ICHBFBFSHUS ЪB ZPMPCHH.
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Y CHPMLY USCHFSHCH, Y PCHGSHCH GEMSHCH, Y RBUFHIKH CHYUOBS RBNSFSH!

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"nPULPCHULYK UFBODBTF RPMYILMYOIL" TTBTBVPFBO UREGYBMSHOP DMS MAVYFEMEK NHUYFSHUS Y RPMKHYUBFSH PF LFPZP OBUMBTSDEOYE. FERETSH CH RPMYILMYOILBI YUYUFSHCHE FHBMEFSHCH, FEMECHYPTSH Y RPYUFY OEF PUETEDEK. OP FPMSHLP DKHTBLY Y NBPIYUFSHCH, TB PFCHEDBCH LBYUEUFCHB HUMKHZ, NPZKhF TSEMBFSH RPCHPPTOPZP PVTBEEOYS CH FY UBCHEDEOYS.

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Oe VPMeK - CHTBY Oe DTENMeF!
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RMAЈF ABOUT OBTPD, OP U LBLPK MAVPCHSHA!
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YUEN UIMSHOE CHEFET CH ZPMPCHE, FEN VPMSHYE CHSHCHMEFBEF UMPC.
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OYuFP FBL OE KhFPNMSEF, LBL PTSIDBOIE RPEЪDB. pUPVEOOOP, LPZDB METSYYSH ABOUT TEMSHUBI. ( b. lBTEOYOB)
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Nytsyuyosch RP UCHPEK RpYpPDE UyEEUFCHB ЪBNLOyFSHCHE, FBL LBL Nytsulpe OBYUBMP FBN TSE, ZDE Y Nytsulpk LPOEG...
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lBLPK UNSHUM CH TSYYOY, EUMY X FEVS OEF YUMEOB? (- JJMSHNB dPOOY dBTLP). OH B YUFP DEMBFSH, EUMY CHUFBOEF? - RETECHETOHFSHUS ABOUT TSYCHPF Y CHSHLPRBFSH SNLH! (- JJMSHNB echTPFHT -). OE NPZH ЪБВШЧФШ ФЧПК 3D REOYU! (- yЪ ZHYMSHNB vPMSHYE, YUEN UELU).
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UFPYF MY FBL KHRPTOP UFPSFSH ABOUT UCHPEN, LFP TSE PYUEOSH VPMSHOP!
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S OE MAVMA, LPZDB NOE MYTSKHF TsPRH, FEN VPMEE - LPZDB CH OEЈ RMAAF!
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NHTSYUYOB, DPVIYCHYYKUS KHUREYB, LFP FPF, LFP ЪBTБВБФШЧЧБЭФ VPMSHYE DEOOZ, YUEN NPTsEF RPFTBFYFSH EZP TsEOB.
TsEOEYOB, DPVYCHYBSUS KHUREYB, LFP FB, LPFPTBS UKHNEMB OBKFY FBLPZP NHTSYUYOH.

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YuHCHUFChP UPVUFCHOOOPZP DPUFPYOUFCHB NHTSYuYOSCH RTSNP RTPRPTGYPOBMSHOP TBNETBN LFPZP DPUFPYOUFCHB.
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uELUKHBMSHOSCHN PFLMPOEOYEN NPTsOP UYYFBFSH FPMSHLP RPMOPPE PFUKHFUFCHYE UELUB, CHUY PUFBMSHOPE - DEM CHLHUB.

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zMBCHOPE LBYUEUFChP REOUB - LFP CHETSMYCHPUFSH. pVS'BO CHUFBFSH RTY CHYDE DBNSCH, YUFPV DBNE VSHMP ABOUT YUFP UEUFSH!

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OH CH PDOPK OPZE RTBCHDSCH OEF, OP EUFSH NETSDH OINY JPMPFBS UETEDYOB.
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FPMSHLP PDOP NPTsEF UDEMBFS NEYUFKH OEDPUFYTSYNPK: LFP UFTBI OEKHDBUY.

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oYLPZDB OE VPKUS DEMBFSH FP, YuFP FSCH OE KHNEEYSH. rPNOY: lPCHYUEZ VSHM RPUFTPEO MAVYFEMEN. rTPZHEUUIPOMSCH RPUFTTPYMY FYFBOYL.
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OYLPZDB OE RTYLBYSCCHBK, EUMY NPTSEYSH RPRTPUIFSH. y OYLPZDB OE RTPUY, EUMY NPTSEYSH RTYLBYBFSH.
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X NEOS DPUFBFPYUOP UIMSHOBS CHPMS, YuFPVSH UPITBOIFSH CHUE UCHPY CHTEDOSHE RTYCHSHCHYULY.

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ъBIPIUEYSH - OBKDIYSH CHTENS, OE ЪBIPIUEYSH - OBKDIYSH RTYYUYOH.
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h IPDE RTEPVTBBPCHBOYK ЪДТБЧППИТБОПОВК ЪДТБЧППИТБОВОВС RTPZТБННБ "УФПМИУОПЭ ЪДТБЧППИТБООПЭ" DPCHEMB LBUEUFChP PLBBBOYS NEDYGYOULYI HUMKHZ DP TELPTDOP OYLLPZP HTPCHOS. pVTBEBFSHUS CH RPMYILMYOILY, RTEDPUFBCHMSAEYE LPLFEKMSH Y OELPNREFEOFOPUFY, VEIPFCHEFUFCHOOPUFY Y IBNUFCHB, UFBMP CH MHYUYEN UMKHYUBE VEURPMEЪOP, B ЪБУБУФХА - PRBUOP DMS TSIYOY.

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CH OBJEK UFTBOE TBUFEF OE LLPOPNYLB, B TsPRB, CH LPFPTPC POB OBIPDFUS.
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ZMKHRPUFSH NBULITHEFUS RPD BOETZYA FEN, YUFP OE YUYUEBEF, B NEOSEF ZhPTNSCH.
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CHUE MADI RTPYPYMY PF PVESHSO, OP OE CHUE PF YUEMPCHELPPVTBOSHCHI.
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MADI YUBUFP RKhFBAF CHPMOPCHBOOKHA ZMHRPUFSH U VKHTMSAIN KHNPN.
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OE ZPCHPTYFE, YUFP NOE OHTSOP DEMBFSH, Y S OE VHDH ZPCHPTYFSH, LHDB CHBN OHTSOP YDFY.
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HUMPTSOSFSH RTPUFP, HRTPEBFSH UMPTsOP.
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From the point of view of a monkey, a person is what work can lead to.

Some people oppress us with their intelligence, others with their lack of it.

Sometimes when you reach your ceiling, you sadly realize that it’s just someone else’s floor.

Unsuccessful searches for UFOs prove that no one wants to mess with people like us.

If you don't know, shut up! You know - keep quiet!

Don't trust Russian puddles - this could be the entrance to the metro.

In this world of lies and hypocrisy, it is already so difficult to deceive anyone...

Fat women are good for warmth in winter and shade in summer.

How little a person needs to be happy and how much to understand it.

Not everyone liked Jesus Christ either, let alone me...

Psychiatry is aerobatics - where you pay to complain about yourself.

There are many advantages to getting married, but you have to get used to them.

My friend, remember that silence is good, safe and beautiful.

Acute intellectual disability.

If you haven’t married before the age of 20, then it’s too early

Everything that men do is done for the sake of women. And only idleness - for yourself!

Life took a sharp turn for the better, and many were thrown overboard.

A man finds out how bad he is in bed when he runs out of money.

If the interlocutor finds it difficult to answer, then you asked the question correctly!

Summer is only 2 months away, and the bone is still wide.

Well, what do you want from a country where a person who smiles a lot is considered strange?

If you go to bed in the evening wearing boots, you will have a headache in the morning

An expert is a person who has made more mistakes than you.

Decree: collective farm "Lenin's way" rename to "The ways of the Lord are mysterious".

Men's cunning compared to women's - so, amateur performances.

Do you remember the first deception in your life?
- Pacifier!

In each of us there is a genius sleeping and an idiot awake.

Men first conquer women, and then they can’t ask for time off to go out with friends.

A hypnotist once tried to hypnotize me - but it didn’t work out!
Now I gloatingly remind him of this every time I come to wash his car on Wednesdays...

Nothing ruins a target like a hit.

Outstanding representatives of humanity, in order to express their opinion with their help and give it greater weight. And it doesn’t matter whether the author’s name is known or whether the aphorism belongs to folk wisdom. They are particularly successful because they help not only to express your attitude towards something, but also to show off your sense of humor.

Men about women

With the advent of social networks on the Internet, a real battle of the sexes began. Women are looking for interesting statuses to show their attitude towards the universe and men in particular. And the stronger sex uses funny statements as a weapon to resist this.

Women's funny sayings

The better half of humanity is also great at manipulating aphorisms. With their help, women can both laugh at themselves and point out to men their mistakes.

Real men don't shy away - they doubt.
When eagles are silent, parrots chatter.
It is easy to say “I will die for you” when there is no need for such a sacrifice.
Women never lie! It’s just that at first they have a girlish memory, and then sclerosis.
With a good wife, a man can become a man.
Funny sayings about blondes are written by scary brunettes on lonely evenings.
If fate hits you in the forehead, then the kick in the ass didn’t work.
It's better to be a young grandmother than an old girl.
The truth should be presented carefully, like a dish of original cuisine, and not dumped out like fresh fish on Privoz.
Women's friendship is only a suspension of hostilities.
It’s nothing, there’s a wind in my head, but the ideas are always fresh.
Some men resemble clouds when they go to become lighter.
My preferences are simple - I am satisfied with the best.
The only medicine that brings more benefit to a woman than harm is a new dress.

Funny aphorisms and statements on general topics

Pearls of the mighty of this world

It happens that an absurd, funny statement that once escaped from the lips of a politician is remembered more than his entire activity.

We have enough people who, as they say, are not on friendly terms with their heads.
As they say, touch with your own eyes and see with your own hands.
I approached people from your Cabinet of Ministers and asked what their specialty was. It turned out that somewhere a gynecologist works, somewhere a plumber works. (V. Yanukovych).

Condoleezza Rice is a simple girl from Texas like me.
As a child, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but I had to study a lot, so I became president.
Only we, the great American people, could send a lunar rover to Mars! (George W. Bush).