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We all often want to make not just a good, but a stunning first impression. And we know that for this we need to behave casually, call the interlocutor by name and avoid closed poses.

But, you must admit, sometimes this is not enough. It seems that your behavior is natural, and your arms are not crossed, but Marya Ivanovna still considers you not a match for her son. So what else is needed?

1. Pygmalion effect

The famous psychologist Robert Rosenthal called the Pygmalion effect a phenomenon in which a person, being confident in something, acts in such a way as to find real confirmation of it.

If we are sure in advance that Marya Ivanovna is not a very pleasant lady and we won’t be able to charm her, then we will unconsciously act in such a way as to confirm this. Therefore, it is better to tune in to the fact that the person you are going to meet will be glad to see you.

And one more thing. Based on this effect, an experiment was conducted, during which it was proven: if a person thinks that you like him, he begins to behave more openly and friendly. So, if possible, let someone tell Marya Ivanovna before your meeting that you already like her.

2. Pratfell effect

Often, in the company of unfamiliar people, we try to show our best side. We worry, we try to hide it, we worry even more and as a result we hide in the corner, dreaming of quickly being at home in our favorite crib. Here psychologists recommend taking note of the Pratfell effect, according to which The best way to win the favor of others is to show vulnerability, weakness, minor oversight.

In this regard, we could not help but recall the talented Jennifer Lawrence, who fell in front of almost the entire world for three years in a row, but her popularity did not suffer from this at all, quite the contrary. Although, of course, the actress’s talent played a decisive role in this.

3. Similarity Attraction Effect

This term belongs to psychologist Theodore Newcomb, who established in the course of his research that the more common views and habits people have, the more they like each other. It is especially interesting that interlocutors with whom we have similarities in negative traits evoke greater sympathy. It's just a matter of small things: finding these points of contact, after all, few people, when meeting someone, immediately begin to talk about themselves, especially about their shortcomings.

4. Points of contact

The author of The Science of Communication, Vanessa van Edwards, compares our thoughts to tangles, and common topics of conversation to connecting threads. She believes that There are three main categories of topics for communicating with unfamiliar people. To start a conversation, you need a phrase that opens this topic and that very connecting “thread”. Let us tell you what this means, using the example of Marya Ivanovna, to whom you came for your anniversary.

• Category "People"- mutual acquaintances, that is, her son, for example, Pavel. Opening phrase: “Paul has an excellent ear for music.”
  Thread: “What talents do you have?”
• Category "Context"-an event that connected you, that is, an anniversary. Opening phrase: “Great restaurant!”
  Thread: “Who recommended it to you?”
• Category "Interests"- actually, interests.
  Opening phrase: “I saw your photos from Greece.”
  Thread: “What did you like most there?”

Pay attention to the question strings: they should not be closed, that is, assume “yes” or “no” answers if you want to get your interlocutor to talk.

5. Talking about yourself

5 different studies have confirmed: people like to talk about themselves (not so much about skeletons in the closet, but about personal experience). At such moments in humans, an area of ​​the brain is activated, which scientists call the pleasure center(she is responsible for the feeling of pleasure). Moreover, in one experiment, participants turned down monetary rewards in favor of the opportunity to talk about themselves.

6. Ideal Conversation Script

Experts in the field of networking (establishing useful contacts) offer the following scenario for dialogue with the person you want to please:

• "You". After shaking hands and introducing each other, it would be appropriate to ask some general question in which you ask the opinion of the interlocutor:
  How's the weather? how did you get there? How do you feel?
• "You". At this stage, it is important to find those same connecting threads in order to find out more about your counterpart.
• "I". Here you should tell something about yourself, of course, focusing on the interests of your interlocutor.
• "You". People remember most the first and last thing they heard. Therefore, when ending a conversation, let your opponent speak. This way he will remember you as a sensitive and attentive interlocutor.

7. Name of the interlocutor

Often we do not address our interlocutor by name because we do not remember him. Here's what you can do to avoid calling Marya Ivanovna Marina Ippolitovna:

• When your interlocutor says his name, look into his eyes and try to remember their color.
• If you can, come up with an association with the name (flower, movie character, literary hero).
• Compare your new friend with a person who has the same name.
• After a few minutes, try to address him by name.

And, although you already know this, let us remind you: during a conversation, address your interlocutor more often by name, because a person associates it with comfort, warmth, and trust.

8. Distance

Most likely, you know people who, at any opportunity, even a request to borrow a stapler, come so close that you can feel their breath. Intuitively, at such moments we take a step back or to the side. All because the optimal distance between unfamiliar people should be at least 1.2 m (4 steps).

By getting to know each other better, you can reduce this distance, but first you should check whether the interlocutor will be comfortable. Ask him to give you something, and if all is well, he will put a shorter distance between you.

9. Appearance

In choosing clothes, shoes, accessories and makeup, there are 3 basic rules that you should follow if you are going to meet a person you would like to make a good impression on:

But a small, but bright and even funny detail in your image is what you need. Like, for example, these socks in the photo, which almost the whole world knows, because the Prime Minister of Canada wears them.

Bonus: sincere smile

If the above methods can work with someone, but not with others - after all, people are not robots to whom one instruction is applicable - then a smile helps always and everywhere. Therefore, no matter how trivial it may sound, smile! After all, a smile is contagious, and we appreciate those who give us positive emotions.

What other qualities do you like in your interlocutor?

In an interview, the first impression a potential employer makes of you plays a big role. Perhaps he will form an opinion about you in a very short time. Before going to an interview, think: do you look nice? Do you give the impression of a professional?

At an interview, first of all, you need to seem like a person with brains. Do you want to be noticed and remembered as a pleasant person? Then here are some tips on how to make a good first impression on your employer.

1. Dress presentably

Looking bad at an interview is no good. If you show up inappropriately, the employer will assume that you will do your job the same way. Look neat and presentable. In addition, your suit should match the style of the people conducting the interview. For lawyers, this means a conservative jacket, white shirt and tie. If the job is more creative, such as a graphic designer, then it is better to choose a looser suit.

2. Look ready to work

People are attracted to good physical shape. If you are out of shape, start doing it to train your muscles and cardiovascular and respiratory systems. Also, stop eating junk and eat healthier.

3. Shake hands properly

The first handshake is a key detail in creating a good impression.

4. Focus on your speech

Speak clearly and at a moderate pace, work on your intonation if you don’t want to look like a monotonous, boring bore. Also, speak the language of the person interviewing you. Avoid jargon or slang not related to work, use correct grammar and words that demonstrate that you have a college degree (if you have one). If people don't understand you, then they won't be able to love you!

5. Call the person conducting the interview by his first name.

By addressing the interviewer this way, you set a more personable tone for the conversation. It also shows that you are paying attention to getting to know each other and that this person is important enough to you to remember their first name. However, avoid abuse of such treatment: it will push the interlocutor away from you, as it gives the impression of falsity.

6. Show the person that you are listening.

If you don’t show that you’re interested, the person simply won’t accept you. Give subtle hints that you are listening to the interlocutor, for example, nod, look into the eyes, say something, ask questions during the conversation. This shows that you are paying attention to what the other person is saying and want to know more. Finally, just don't interrupt.

7. Focus on the other person

Avoid talking about yourself and start asking questions about the other person. Optimal questions to include in an interview:

• What position do you hold in the company?
• What attracted you to the company?
• What do you like most about working for the company?

Remember a few more important ones to gain insight into your potential employer, and these questions will help the interviewer talk about themselves, and people love to talk about themselves.

Sometimes it seems to us that it is very difficult to make a good impression on a person. But this is not entirely true. We will share with you tips on how to do this.

Many people believe that first impressions are usually wrong. Yes, it happens that when we first meet, it seems to us that a person is not very interesting or slightly arrogant, but then we realize that he is a very kind, sympathetic and extremely entertaining interlocutor. Why does it turn out this way? Often, this is due to the fact that a person simply does not know how to behave correctly at the first meeting, and there are reasons for this. Some are too shy, some are nervous, and some are simply having a bad day. Be that as it may, we will give you 9 tips that will help you avoid such a situation, and immediately make a good impression when meeting new people.

1. Talk about something good

2. Be friendly

It happens that before meeting a person, they described him in all “colors” to you, along with a bunch of his shortcomings and not very good past. In a conversation, you should not focus only on this, having made conclusions about the interlocutor in advance. If you are deliberately unfriendly, the person will immediately feel it, which will make the conversation tense and uncomfortable. Moreover, the person will get a bad impression of you, and not from hearsay, not from other people, but directly from you.

3. Don't mention people's names

It often happens that you and your interlocutor somehow end up with a whole bunch of mutual acquaintances. It is best not to call your relatives or friends by name when you first meet, be it a business meeting or a casual conversation. A man can do false conclusions about you, judging by your friends, and sometimes this situation can be extremely unpleasant. Many people believe that people attract others like themselves, so all the bad behavior of your friends or relatives can be immediately attributed to you.

4. Don't talk about your plans

When you first meet, you should not share with your interlocutor about your dreams, desires and plans for the future. Even if you have succeeded in almost everything, for example, creating your own business, going to live abroad, building a house - do not initiate a person into this at the first meeting. You may simply be considered an arrogant and boastful interlocutor.

5. Skip the serious topics

At the first meeting, it is best to skip conversations on narrow topics. For example, you should not bring up the conversation about politics, war, interracial conflicts. Also, there is no need to start discussing people, judging them behind their back. You cannot know what kind of past your interlocutor has. Therefore, it is best to postpone such topics for the future. In our world, tolerance and loyalty are highly valued, so show yourself to be just such a person.

6. Keep your emotions under control

Even if your interlocutor is unpleasant to you, you are angry or offended by someone - never transfer your emotions into the conversation. Try to control your behavior and not seem like a rude and discourteous person. Whatever your mood, no matter how much you like your interlocutor, be well-mannered, polite, and never give in negative emotions.

7. Don't brag

You may be more successful in life than your interlocutor, however, you should never brag. Even if you have achieved more in your career, you have a prosperous family, a dog, a house, a car and a lot of money, you shouldn’t mention it, and even 15 times. Believe me, there is no need to show yourself as a braggart at the first meeting and lower self-esteem interlocutor with your achievements.

8. Don't ask for anything

Under no circumstances should you ask a person for anything when you first meet him. Don’t push for pity, don’t blame anyone for your troubles and misfortunes, and especially don’t cry when you first meet a person. No matter what troubles happen in your life, you should not let your interlocutor know about them.

9. Ask questions

Of course, talking about yourself is always very exciting, but don’t forget about your interlocutor. Show your interest in him, be interested in his life and hobbies. Try to ask him more questions, but not too personal, so as not to accidentally hurt his feelings.

No matter what anyone says, you shouldn’t try to remember all the names of your interlocutors. It is much more important to listen to the person, not to interrupt and not to “switch off” during a conversation to something extraneous. Keep in your memory not the names of people, but a good impression of them.

Create a great impression of yourself when we first met It’s not so difficult if you just simply be yourself, control your emotions, be polite and don’t hide in a shell, afraid to stick your head out. Have a casual conversation, smile, joke and just enjoy the conversation with your interlocutor. We wish you happiness, as many joyful days in your life as possible,and don't forget to press the buttons and

Whenever you meet someone, it is extremely important to make a good impression on your interlocutor, because, as you know, it is very difficult to change. Success in your personal life and professional activities depends on this. In this article we will look at several rules that will help you get in touch with a new person and leave a good impression.

There is a so-called. This is an opinion about a person that the subject formed in the first minutes of the meeting and influences the further assessment of his activities and personality. When you are in a company unfamiliar to you, you involuntarily pay attention to the one who confidently holds himself and speaks, who controls his own body. This behavior evokes respect and a desire to engage in conversation with him.

The first impression depends on the following factors:

• The ability to control the body - gestures, gaze, gait, posture, facial expressions.
• Voice and intonation - timbre, confidence in the voice or excitement.
• The meaning of spoken words. This factor matters not in the first minutes of acquaintance, but after some time.

There are several rules that must be followed.

Don't try to make a good impression

Yes, that's right. Things don't go as planned when you're trying to make a good impression. You won't be able to relax because instead of maintaining a pleasant conversation, you'll be thinking about how not to lose face. You will stop paying attention to your interlocutor if you are absorbed in yourself, your reactions, facial expressions, gestures and behavior.

Be yourself

Perhaps the most significant impression of another person is something like “He was himself.” Of course, this does not negate the fact that you need to learn skills and techniques and develop in order to become even better.

Hypocrisy is noticed by people instantly, even if they cannot explain it in words. The interlocutor will feel awkward if your words are at odds with your demeanor or if your sad mood is combined with a forced smile. In the latter case, you need to learn to cheer yourself up.

Not every event you are invited to is worth going to if you feel uncomfortable there. Being present in order to please people is not entirely correct, because hypocrisy is inherent in this very action. Go to events that you enjoy, because there you can be yourself.

Learn to enjoy communication

Everything can go wrong if you don't like people and communicating with them. What to do? Study, learn to find the inner one, because this is what you need first of all. As already mentioned, people sense falsehood and hypocrisy, so you need to learn not to fake emotions, but to actually experience them. Be friendlier, more smiling, more cheerful.

Social media has created a lot of introverts, to fix this, work on yourself. After some time, you will realize that you enjoy the process of communication and understanding people. Learn to listen and tell interesting stories.

If you truly enjoy communication, everything will work out on its own. You will no longer need to artificially try to make a good impression; it will be formed without your participation. However, this requires a lot of work on yourself.

This does not mean that you should be able to show good sides that are not really there. You just need to make sure that the person perceives you as real. Many can probably remember a situation when they did not mean at all what was perceived. Our words and facial expressions in these seconds may not be combined, so the interlocutor may misunderstand you.

Think about what kind of person other people see you as. If you consider yourself cheerful, but others do not, then how can you make them see you as the life of the party and a positive person? How to bring internal and external factors into harmony? How to learn to dress in such a way that it fully corresponds to your opinion about yourself? When you answer all these questions, you will begin to understand how you look in the eyes of other people and there will no longer be a situation in which you are misunderstood and misjudged.

Think about why people should communicate with you

This is also quite natural. People value those who are interesting to them. And if, when meeting someone, you don’t even understand how to win over and how to attract a person, difficulties begin. Thinking about what you can give to other people does not make you a hypocrite. This allows you to at least sometimes stop being selfish and not demand good treatment from scratch.

People value unobtrusiveness, friendly disposition,... They do not like to argue (although they do argue), and they cannot stand criticism that hurts their pride. These moments are only intensified when it comes to dating. Therefore, thinking about the comfort of your interlocutor is a completely normal process and this is what it means to be able to communicate with people. Don’t wait for the moment when your interlocutor himself offers you an interesting topic - offer it yourself.

What ways do you know to make a good first impression? Share it with us in the comments.