The hall was full.
Then I thought: “For my master class “How to get married?” a lot of women gathered, which means the topic of a happy marriage is very relevant!”
“There is no difficulty in getting married.” Everything is very simple! - I say to the female audience.
– You meet a man and start a serious relationship with him. It is very important that he - your chosen one - be normal. You and your man love each other. Then he proposes to you to marry him. You are submitting an application.
“You buy rings and come to the registry office at the appointed time and become an official wife,” I said and fell silent, watching the reaction of the listeners.
– After this, you no longer worry about the question of how to get married. You will be concerned about other topics, but not the topic of our master class today,” I continued, and here the public reaction began.
The women began to laugh, be indignant and protest.
One of the participants stated:
– The problem is that you don’t come across normal men who then propose marriage. The problem is finding such a man!
– Then you need to do a separate master class “How to find a man?”
Yes! Yes! Yes! – the women answered in unison.
- Or better yet, call it this: “How to find a normal man?” That’s what we’ll call the next master class. I will write an article on this topic! – I promised the listeners.
For many women, developing relationships is not a problem.
They sincerely love a man, give him their love, care, affection. But very often women come across men who cause more trouble than joy. They do not want a serious relationship; they are satisfied with a short-term outlook on life. In the eyes of a woman, such a man looks frivolous. And she is afraid to start a relationship with him.
Naturally, a woman is drawn to love and a serious relationship. A woman wants to create her own family in order to give love to a man, and from him she wants protection and support in life.
That’s why various women’s trainings are so popular. That’s why the topics are so popular: “How to get married?” and “How to find a man?”
In this article I will give ten tips. By following these tips, you can get not only another answer to the question - how to find a man?
Using these tips in practice, you will very quickly find the man of your dreams.
- First tip:
A lot of women do nothing to attract a man. If you really want to meet the man of your dreams, have a serious relationship with him, and then marry him, you will have to take action.
If you just ooh and ahh about how bad everything is, tell all your friends that the men have moved on, then most likely you will not meet anyone and will remain alone.
If you want to find a man, you just need to take action. You need to start not tomorrow, not on Monday, but right now.
Do anything, but don't sit still. Thinking about what needs to be done, gossiping with girlfriends is not considered an action.
- Second tip:
When you wonder how to find a man? – you must clearly answer the question – why do you need it? The answer to this question will guide your actions.
If you want light flirting and one-night stand, then you need to go to a nightclub.
If you want to meet a wealthy man to marry, then go to business conferences or summits.
As soon as you begin to clearly understand why you need a man, you begin to understand where to look for him and what to do.
- Third tip:
Draw in your imagination the man of your dreams. You must understand who you are looking for. What he should look like, what he should do, what character traits he should have.
When you are invited to a concert, in your mind you begin to think through different options for your outfits down to the smallest detail. You know how to do this. Also, think through exactly why you need a man, draw his image in your head.
This is necessary to find him out of thousands of other men.
- Fourth tip:
Create a new image of yourself!
When you want to find a man, you must understand that your appearance is an attraction for a man.
You must be beautiful, light and well dressed. If you have dark circles under your eyes from fatigue because it is important for your boss to finish a project, you sit in the office late and sleep 4-5 hours a day, naturally it will be noticeable. It is unlikely that any of the men will fall for you.
And again we return to the fact that you must understand why you need a man. If it’s for a one-night stand, wear everything that’s flashy and sexy. And if you are in a serious relationship, dress in clothes that will say that you are looking for a husband, and not a man for fun.
Besides clothes, you need to work on yourself. Read, watch, play sports, in general, develop yourself. A man should enjoy communicating with you, and for this he needs to constantly develop.
- Fifth tip:
You need to go to those places where there are concentrations of those men who will be interested in you. And you need to visit as often as possible. Being in society, it is very easy to make new acquaintances. Any relationship between a man and a woman begins with acquaintance.
A thirty-year-old woman leaves home to meet people 2-3 times a month. You understand that this is very little? Only 2-3 attempts per month.
You need 2-3 attempts a day, then you have a real chance to make acquaintance with a man.
You need to develop your plan in which you describe where and when you are going to visit in order to meet the man of your dreams. And not only make a plan, but also begin to implement it. As I said in the first tip, you need to act.
- Sixth tip:
Remove all your memories of negative experiences. Forget everything you had.
Try to forgive all grievances against ex-men. This greatly affects your relationships with current men.
If you cannot forgive men yourself, seek help from a psychologist.
For a new relationship, you need to clear your inner world.
Pay attention to this, otherwise you will look at new acquaintances through the prism of past grievances.
- Seventh tip:
Review your thoughts carefully. Ask yourself a question: What is stopping me from finding a man?
You must be extremely honest in this dialogue with yourself.
You may have very high demands on a man - such that no man in the world can cope.
You can compare all men with your ex-lover, or you can have hatred for all men inside of you.
You must find the barrier within yourself that is preventing you from meeting the man of your dreams. The most powerful barriers are thoughts.
The thought should be like a road along which you want to go to happiness, and not a wall that does not allow you to achieve the same happiness.
Fill your mind with positive thoughts. If you suddenly realize that you think that all normal men have already been taken apart, start thinking that there are only normal men around you.
If you think that everyone will be happy except you, then think that you are happy now and in the future all your dreams will come true.
- Eighth tip:
All people have a lot of acquaintances. Ask your friends to help you meet a man. This method works flawlessly. You don’t need to think about it for a long time; you need to use it in life.
- Ninth tip:
If you cannot meet a man for a long time, contact a specialist who knows how to help you. To do this, you must watch your time. For example, you have been trying to make acquaintances for six months, but nothing works.
This means that the problem remains, and time is quickly running out. Try seeing a psychologist, coach, or any other relationship specialist. It is important to find the reason for what is happening. When you find it, you can eliminate it.
- Tenth tip:
I left the most important thing for last. The most important thing is to believe in yourself. You must believe in yourself and in your happiness. Without faith, your chances are very slim. You will not see prospects and opportunities to create in your life what you dream of.
Self-confidence, like an icebreaker, will push the ice of sadness and disappointment.
Believe in your feminine happiness, and you will definitely meet the man you love!
These simple tips will help you understand yourself and meet the man of your dreams.
I really hope that you find a man quickly.
And when they ask you: “How to find a man? Do you want to know?" you will smile and say: “Thank you, I already found it!”
Especially for readers of the women's magazine, certified psychologist Alexander Kubersky conducts free online consultations on the topic “How to find a man?”
And in conclusion, subscribe to the Citywoman magazine channel: https://t.me/city_woman - there is a lot of useful content for women living in the rhythm of the big city.
A number of women face a very common problem. They meet a man who claims to be as free as the wind in a field. And in the end, after a while it turns out that he is married. Moreover, he is not in the stage of divorce, but lives well and happily with his wife. Moreover, the wife often does not even realize that her husband has someone else besides her.
How to spot a married man? Not difficult at all! The truth is that you need to know... but I digress. There are so many different ways to do this. Let's write them down in detail.
- The man refuses to show you his passport. This is the surest sign that he is busy. True, even if you saw his main document and there is no marriage stamp in it, this does not mean that the man is free. After all, there are still civil marriages (when a man and a woman are the same husband and wife, they live together, but they just didn’t go to the registry office). Or a man may simply be in a relationship without living with any woman. Therefore, the absence of a stamp does not mean a man’s freedom.
- A man doesn't invite you home. If you have been dating a man for a long time and have never been to his house, there may be something wrong. Casually, preferably right during the date, invite him to go visit him right now. And look at his reaction. It is extremely suspicious if, with the look of a schoolboy who has not learned his homework, he begins to stutter and refuse your offer.
- Doesn't stay overnight with you. Most likely, someone is waiting for him at home.
- Strange behavior when receiving calls to his phone. It is very suspicious if at this time a man behaves nervously, his face shows concern, excitement, he goes out to talk on the phone... If this happens once, it’s okay (you never know who calls? Maybe there’s trouble at work...). If it happens all the time, something is wrong!
- Reluctance to be with you in crowded places. Indeed, the more often you visit crowded places together, the more likely it is that his wife or mutual friends may see you.
- Constant refusals of men to meet on weekends or spend holidays together. It is very alarming if this happens all the time. As a rule, wives make grandiose plans together on weekends and, especially, holidays. From which it is very difficult for a man to get away. And okay, it’s still the weekend... But imagine how he can spend New Year’s Eve with you if he’s married?!
- A man's refusal to introduce you to his parents and friends. If a man has serious plans for a girl, meeting the parents is a very important thing. No acquaintance means, most likely, no common future.
- There is another option. He introduces you to his friends, but it turns out that they are womanizers. There is a good chance that he is the same.
- He regularly does not answer calls in the evenings. Most often, the family spends evening time together. Consequently, the man is next to his wife and cannot talk to his mistress.
- A mark on the finger from a wedding ring. Naturally, if a man is married, then before meeting you he will take the ring off his finger. But a mark may remain on your finger. Moreover, if there is a trace, it means the man has been married for at least several years. And the larger the trace, the longer the marriage. After all, when getting married, rings are selected according to size, and they should not leave marks. But over time, people's fingers become thicker, and the ring begins to leave a mark.
- All sorts of different small objects in his purse, clothing pockets, car... It could be anything - a photograph of his wife or children, lipstick, children's toys, some food or drinks with traces of women's lipstick, women's hair... Remove absolutely all traces and evidence, and then making sure that they don’t reappear is very difficult. From time to time, especially in a hurry, you can puncture.
- The man doesn’t give out his home phone number, but you know he has one.
- The man always calls at the same time. In principle, this is not very suspicious. But just for fun, you can do the following: don’t pick up the phone, but instead call him back, for example, in an hour.
- Reluctance to be photographed together. A joint photo is good incriminating evidence.
- Reluctance to add you as a friend on social networks. If you know that a man has pages on social networks, add him as a friend. If he is against it, it is very suspicious. By the way, at the same time look at the photographs and posts posted on his page. And if a man adds you as a friend, make sure that you are not a hidden friend. To do this, go to his page from any other (not your) page and see if you are a friend.
- Doesn't use your gifts. Especially lovingly intimate ones. For example, underwear or a keychain with your photo.
- Suspicious phone contents. First, you can find out how you are subscribed to his contacts. And then see who he called over the past few days, and whether in his contacts there are such entries as “Beloved”, “Wife” and other entries indicating the presence of another woman in his life. You should also be very alarmed if there are only a few contacts in the address book (or even just one - yours). 99% - this phone is used only to communicate with mistresses. And for all other calls he has another phone (or even several).
If your man was “caught” on one or two points, then this does not mean anything (unless, of course, we are talking about the first point). But if there are three or four punctures or more, this is very, very suspicious!
I advise you not to get into trouble! Good luck!
Friends, this is not an article of an applied nature. There are no specifics or step-by-step instructions on how to find happiness. The article is the author’s reflections without any claim to originality or genius. Low expectations are the key to restful sleep. :)
Introduction
My friends are divided into two camps: while some willingly share their experiences and give wise advice on how to get married, others sigh that there are no normal men left in this world.
You know, if I didn’t personally know these all-around beautiful girls from the group of disappointed people, I could safely assume that they overprice themselves or leave no chance for normal guys. But it seems that the matter is different.
Maybe some girls just tend to notice the wrong men? We fall in love with the wrong people, and then we ourselves suffer and cry at night. Yes, of course, there are not the simplest situations in life. But, to be honest, it doesn’t happen that one person is to blame.
Where to find a normal guy
Well, okay, “one day you took it and grew up. I understood and accepted that you like pompous assholes. But you get tired of this too. Any drama, even the most florid one, sometimes gets boring, and you want something normal and real. And here a reasonable question arises: where and how to find a normal guy?
If there was some magical place, some kind of place where all normal men would be hidden, then, probably, the girls would already be lining up worse than for clothes from the new H&M collection with some famous designer. Girls who graduated from the courses of the guru of women's practices Pavel Rakov would definitely be brought there on special buses, and all the broken hearts would be sent for forced rehabilitation.
Alas, there is no such place of concentrated male power. Well, or I don’t know about him. It is clear that all key life encounters always occur completely randomly and unpredictably. But here is a simple applied question: is it possible to increase this probability artificially?
Girlish thoughts out loud
I went to the people (on Telegram) and wrote to my friends asking them to tell me where they generally met and looked for non-random connections. The girls’ reaction was funny: from “Well, we communicated normally, An, why are you starting” to “Very difficult question. I’ve never met anyone who’s normal.” A friend summed it up, writing: “Oh, Anh, normal guys are an endangered species.”
Among the popular answers to the question of where to meet, if you are very lucky, were university, work, interest clubs, car services, sports clubs, friendly parties, bars and cafes. One friend suggested that Romeo could safely stand guard at some fashionable intellectual parties, although the girl herself admitted that she “doesn’t work yet.”
Places vs lifehacks
So what can help you meet a normal dude?
1. Dream of meeting HIM. Be disappointed and don't expect anything
It is very important to live with the thought that somewhere in this huge world there is definitely HE, with whom you feel fun, comfortable, free and cool, like with friends. At the same time, there is no idealization of the world here. We all always fall in love with the wrong people, and many girls are more afraid of falling in love than guys. In life, everything probably comes when you let go. You will be disappointed in everything and stupidly score, not expecting anything.
Usually the most amazing stories come out when I’m not even sure that he will call back after the date.
In general, you just need to believe that one day you will meet someone with whom you can be yourself. The one who loves your friends. The one with whom you can breathe easily. And if you’ve already met him, he won’t let you leave (read: don’t let him go for anything). At the same time, special emphasis is placed on the fact that it is advisable to be disappointed in everything and not wait before the cherished meeting. Just live, and then, you see, the prince is on the horizon.
2. Visualize
giphy.com If you don’t know where are you going, you might end up somewhere else.
The main idea: in order to find something, we need to clearly know what we are actually looking for. They say that visualization is something that really works.
So, girls, you need to really tune in to the right zen and imagine the one you want to be with, what you ultimately want from him. You imagine all the important qualities of the betrothed, but, most importantly, not from the opposite, that is, without any “not” particles. For example, if you want a tall brunette, ask for a tall brunette, and not “not a blonde of average height, the main thing is that he is not very short.” Only real qualities, without negativity and denial. And then you write all this on a piece of paper and send a message to the Universe, which will definitely not let you down. Yes, it may take her some time to find the guy of her dreams. But Moscow, you know, was not built right away.
The most important thing: don’t get confused in the readings, girls! We ask for the same thing, we say it out loud, otherwise the Universe will get confused.
Another life hack: sometimes it’s useful to ask friends to introduce you to someone, well, to test the charm. The main thing is not to be friends: it doesn’t work. Just guy friends.
3. Don't be afraid to take the first step
It's funny that there are two diametrically opposed opinions on this matter. One friend (married, raising a son) has long been urging everyone and me to forget about social conventions and says that in fact, in her life situation, she took the first step, and she does not regret anything. Another friend (not married, no boyfriend) recently came to the conclusion that all her first steps did not lead to anything good.
I do not have a personal significant record of first steps to judge their success. But, I admit, I myself was always afraid to take the first step. It seemed that if the guy doesn’t do it himself, then he probably doesn’t need it. Why should I offer something that he potentially doesn’t need? My mother always told me: “Never ask for anything, everyone will come and give it themselves.” So: they won’t give it.
Girls, maybe you, like me, live with the philosophy of a proud heron, and normal guys don’t even realize that we might like them?
4. Sign up for Tinder already
Don’t forget that many guys are also tormented by the question: where to find a normal girl? And, as my statistics of guy friends show, many of the quite normal dudes register for general fun. What if you are the one with whom you not only have fun, but also happily ever after?
And so you dreamed, visualized, realized that the first step is not scary. Come on, act! Forward to the barricades!
And yes, I wouldn’t believe it myself if the number of “met on Tinder - happy together for 2, 3, years” stories among my own acquaintances had not grown exponentially. Important: Tinder is an example of an easy way to get dates. It doesn't matter where you find them, what matters is that you go to them at all.
A reasonable question: can something normal come out of dating on the Internet? I’ll answer with the words of my friend Christina’s American uncle, who recently wrote on my Facebook wall and instantly became a favorite of my friends:
You met him on a dating app
In the 21st century, mobile dating apps are the natural habitat of womanizers. And even if on the first date he admits that he’s only recently been there, and on the second he says that he decided to delete his account “out of boredom,” then don’t be lazy to check: he was most likely online last night and even updated his photos.
He has a bathroom mirror selfie on Instagram.
He has a desperate passion for photographing his reflection in the right light, and then trying out which filter makes him look sexier. Be careful, he seems to be so in love with himself that he is definitely not looking for a relationship with the need to love someone else.
All his ex-girlfriends hate him
And he either answers them with the same coin, or simply does not remember them. And the fact that he remained in such strained relations with the female sex does not bother him at all, because he is sure that all girls are equally insidious and nothing good (except sex) can be expected from them, which is why he prefers talking about them limit sexist comments.
He makes posts about how a real man should behave
Moreover, by the latter he does not mean some gentleman from the 19th century, but a certain collective image of his own best qualities, which (as he is firmly convinced) everyone admires.
He usually writes to you at night
Short message after midnight: “How are you?” - as a new kind of hint that he is thinking about you now, but not in the romantic way in which you might want it.
He hides you from all his friends and acquaintances
Feel the difference between keeping a relationship a secret and protecting your privacy from other people's attacks, and be able to see the moment when he is ready to do anything so that none of his friends know about your existence. By the way, he will have no desire to communicate with your friends either. Why if it's just sex?
His feed is full of huge asses and bare breasts
On social networks, he follows dozens of strippers and hundreds of strange communities that publish naked girls and porn stars. They, in principle, represent his unspoken ideal of female beauty, but due to their absence nearby, he has to communicate with real women.
You only meet after dark and on his territory
The rest of the time he is “terribly busy” with something and “all in business,” but closer to ten in the evening he finds time to invite you to his home. By the way, ladies' men are terribly lazy and desperately resist relationships for this reason - if suddenly you want something more than sex, then he will have to make an effort, spend leisure time with you and also go to visit you. And this is so tiring in comparison with a girl who herself comes to his house exactly an hour before bedtime...
It doesn't remember any information about you
Is there a driving school test on Saturday? Interview for a new job on Thursday? Tell him about this, and then wait for a message that day or a question when you meet: “How did it go?” And most likely you won’t wait...
In life he behaves like a boomerang
You don’t hear anything from him for several days (or weeks!), when suddenly he appears again in a cheerful mood, with questions about how you are doing, and even with an ambiguous (and false) “I miss you,” and stays exactly until until he gets the idea to disappear again.
