Man is a social being. For our survival, it is necessary that there are people around us who are ready to build relationships with us. This was especially important in prehistoric times, when people lived in small tribes. A person’s life depended on the opinions of his fellow tribesmen.

However, now this problem is not so acute. Society has expanded to unprecedented proportions, and even a hermit can provide himself with minimally comfortable conditions for existence. However, every person instinctively feels the need to belong to a group of people and their approval. And this is absolutely normal and natural. Problems arise when a person has too much dependence on other people's opinions. When it is very important for him that everyone likes him.

Of course, parents often add fuel to the fire, who from childhood told us “What will people say about you?!” “What a slob you are! If someone sees it, they will laugh!” All of this could increase our fear that others would have a bad opinion of us. But we are no longer children. It's time to change things.

Excessive dependence on other people's opinions leads to:

constant anxiety when communicating with people;
unnatural, repressed behavior, when a person is afraid to say and do what he wants, because someone may not like it;
enormous difficulties in career and self-realization.

It turns out that the most successful people are those who do not worry at all about the opinions of others. Understand correctly, they do not get into trouble, they do not behave antisocially. They just do what they want and allow yourself to make mistakes. If they do something wrong, if they offend someone, they will ask for forgiveness, take a lesson from the mistake and take it into account in the future.

This is much more expedient than constantly evaluating your every word, action and... in the end doing almost nothing.

To make it clearer, let's look at situations in which a person dependent on someone else's opinion clearly loses a lot of opportunities and makes himself feel discomfort:

Meeting the opposite sex.“What will others think?”, “What will I tell her?”, “What if she doesn’t like me?” As a result, doubts overcome the person, and he does not meet anyone. He continues to suffer from loneliness.
Career.“I will not fight for this place so that no one holds a grudge against me.”
Public transport.“This place is free, but I’d rather stand. What if they start scolding me for taking the only empty seat?”

A person who is unduly independent of people’s opinions will do the following:

Meeting the opposite sex.“Nice girl. I'll come and talk. Maybe we'll like each other. And even if not, it doesn’t matter, I’ll find another one.”
Career.“I want this job. And I will do everything possible to be chosen.”
Public transport.“Oh, last empty seat. I'll sit down. If I have to give in to the elder, I will give in.”

I hope these simple examples illustrate how much easier and more comfortable it is to live when you are not worried about what others will think of you. As long as we are not talking about antisocial actions (murder, robbery, rape...) it is far from important that someone may not like your actions.

If you try to please everyone, you are guaranteed to have anxiety and a lot of dissatisfaction.

If you want to eradicate irrational dependence on other people's opinions– become a participant in the “Life Without Social Phobia” project. You will receive a series of closed video lessons with exercises that will help you get rid of inhibitions, develop self-confidence and learn to defend yourself and your interests in conflict situations. To subscribe, simply enter your name and email in the very top left.

Someone hurt your feelings and you're not doing what you wanted? Stand your ground and don’t give in to provocations anymore. This is especially important in online communication.

2. You give in to other people's opinions

Remember - you are not a hundred-ruble bill for everyone to like. There are people who don't like you, there are those who don't like your behavior or opinion. There is no need to attach too much importance to other people's words and start hating yourself for no reason.

3. You don't have clear personal boundaries.

You yourself must decide who to let into your life. If someone begins to influence your actions too much, then it’s time to reconsider your boundaries: emotional, physical, financial.

4. You don't like what you have to do.

Ultimately, you manage your time yourself. You don't have to go to a job you don't like, visit a doctor, or go to a family event. Yes, there will be consequences, but still it is your choice, and not imposed from the outside.

5. You are jealous of someone

This does not interfere with the life of another person, but it can interfere with your own. Anger at events from the past also takes up time and energy, as does communicating with toxic people. Don't waste your mental resources on all this.

6. You change your goals if you get rejected.

If you were not hired or were not selected in a competition, this does not mean that you should give up, resign yourself and not set such goals again. It didn’t work out now, but it will work out later.

7. You allow others to provoke you.

You should not communicate with those who know how to unbalance you and make you say or do something that you will later regret. Protect what is dear to you, do not let others influence it.

8. You associate with those who are unpleasant.

Every minute you think about talking to or complaining about such a person is a minute wasted.

9. You give in to criticism too much

Criticism from other people is a powerful tool for doing something better. But you shouldn't avoid something just because you might get criticized for it. It is impossible to live a normal life if your main goal is to please others.

Mindfulness practice: how to get rid of other people's influence

Sometimes you can even physically feel someone's influence on yourself. At the same time, you may feel disgusting with a certain person, or feel fear or anxiety in his presence, or suddenly want to sleep, or want to quickly run away from this place. Such situations may arise when you have entered into dissonance with others' eenergies. Someone else's energy field causes negative emotions. There are a huge number of energy methods to get rid of this foreign influence.

1. "GOLDEN BALL". Using the method of visualization, you create a golden ball around yourself and make yourself impenetrable to foreign influence.

2. "FIRE CLOAK". As with the ball, the fire of the cloak transforms negative energies and prevents them from affecting you.

3. "VIOLET FLAME". You create between yourself and the person influencing you the violet flame of Saint Germain and it also does not allow negativity to penetrate.

4. MIRROR "You place a visual mirror between the so-called enemy and you, and he will begin to receive everything that he projects onto you.

5. "DRAIN". You place a damper with a drain next to you and pour all the negative energy into fiery lava 1.5 km down. All negativity goes down without reaching you and without having any impact.

These are the simplest methods for neutralizing foreign influence. If you realize that everything that happens to you happens for a reason, and the Universe wants to teach you something through this, then there is effective and valuable advice. Everything that happens serves the highest good and always teaches something. And if we solve problems correctly, we can not only cope with the situation, but also make significant progress and improve the situation for ourselves. The advice is as follows. You need to BE AWARE OF YOURSELF, YOUR FEELINGS IN YOUR BODY in your body from the influence of a certain person. It may not be so easy at first, but over time it will become easier. In fact, it is not another person who brings negative feelings, he serves only as a catalyst for their appearance, but these are everyone’s personal feelings that were previously dormant.

Then we try to RECOGNIZE WHAT THOUGHT provoked these sensations. In fact, this is not a divine thought, leading away from happiness and joy, blocking the true essence. Awareness of this thought makes it clear WHAT PERSONAL QUALITY YOU NEED TO DISCOVER IN YOURSELF. Then you need to accept the lesson that has been created with gratitude to this person, to this situation and to God and ALLOW YOURSELF TO SHOW THIS NEW QUALITY so that it is for the Highest good. For example. You come to visit X and see a very unpleasant-looking person, feeling a barrage of negative energy and fear. Fear is created by distrust of the Universe, of God. With gratitude for everything that happens, you need to allow yourself to feel unconditional trust in God. And as soon as you realize that you are a person who absolutely trusts God, the one who sent you negativity will leave the room.

Conclusion: accept everything that happens with great Love, realizing the Divinity of everything that happens, and you will see how wonderful and magnificent the World is!

Monday, April 23, 2018

Modern man comes under the influence of the public from early childhood. “Act normally, what will people think of us?” Have you ever heard this from your parents or grandmother? Having matured, we enter school and try to “earn” the approval of the popular kids in the class and the praise of the teacher. Is this right? Everything is good in moderation! An excessive desire to meet other people's standards leads to the development of various. Such people lose their own “I”, and they cannot be called self-sufficient individuals. Dependence on other people's opinions prevents us from living, developing and building a career. This is a fairly common and serious problem, so let's talk about why it occurs and discuss possible ways to get rid of it.

Reasons for dependence on other people's opinions

The fight against any complexes and addictions must begin with finding the cause of their appearance.

Only by identifying the “root of evil” can you choose the best ways to solve the problem. Let's talk about why we fall under the influence. The “risk group” includes people suffering from. This complex makes us think that our interests, feelings, desires are insignificant compared to the needs of others. You can “earn” this as a result of or experiencing a series of failures in life. Such people:

they do not know how to listen to themselves, determine their own desires;
are ready to refuse to fulfill a desire only because it contradicts generally accepted standards;
are not able to take responsibility for their actions, deeds and lives;
ready to follow the leaders, “putting aside” everything they own for later.

People suffering from dependence on other people's opinions are usually mistaken, telling themselves that their behavior is an excellent way to gain authority. In fact, everything is completely different. This . Stop lying to yourself and admit there is a problem. I am sure that once you get rid of it, you will feel much lighter and will be able to live a full life, but your own, and not someone else’s.

How can you understand that your behavior is not a sign of good upbringing, but a problem? An addicted person is constantly looking for answers to the following questions:

What will my neighbors say (think) about me?
How will my classmates (classmates, colleagues) react to my action?

Are you ready to refuse to perform certain actions, fearing that your action will not be understood? Congratulations! It's time to get serious.

According to psychologists, people who suffer from dependence on the opinions of others not only suffer from low self-esteem, but also those who “did not receive enough” love and attention from their parents in childhood, were brought up on erroneous stereotypes and do not have a strong character.

It will be very difficult to get rid of such a complex on your own. You will need support from an addiction recovery specialist if you:

Before you do something, you worry about how others will perceive it;
when you hear the slightest negativity addressed to you, you begin to feel bad and become uninitiative;
are sensitive to criticism;
ready to support the opinion of others, even if you don’t agree with it, but you don’t dare voice your own.

Together we will develop an “action plan” and solve this problem.

The negative impact of addiction on a person's life

Any of them poison our lives. We suffer and suffer every day because we are not able to behave the way we want. So what will happen if you don’t fight your complexes? Let's see what awaits us:

Suppression of one’s own “I”, rejection of one’s own inner world.
Constantly waiting for approval from family, neighbors or colleagues.
Living by parental rules and standards.
Lack of your own outlook on life.
Fear of standing out from the crowd and taking the position of a “gray mouse”.

How do you like the prospect? I don't think it's rainbow! Perhaps you should pull yourself together right now, engage in self-development and change your life for the better? Don't doubt your abilities. I'm sure you will succeed. Let's talk about what you will have to do to radically change your life.

Fighting addiction: existing methods

Dependence on other people’s opinions can “crush” us, deprive us of our own opinions and prospects for the future. By recognizing its existence, we take the first step towards deliverance. I recommend that my clients enlist the support of family or friends whenever possible. Together it is easier to overcome any difficulties. Modern psychologists use various techniques to help clients. Their choice is made individually, after an initial consultation, during which we identify the cause of the problem, the degree of its complexity and the individual characteristics of the addict.

I would like to briefly introduce you to the methods used:

Observation. Control your own feelings, thoughts and desires. It is very important to determine. What exactly causes you disappointment, resentment, anger and other negative feelings. Having found the root cause, it will be much easier to control your emotions, act independently, and not listen to other people’s opinions.
Privacy. Learn to enjoy being alone. Create a favorable environment for meditation and immersion in your own thoughts. Dim lights and quiet relaxing music will help you. Don't want to meditate? Take your favorite book off the shelf and just read alone.
Identifying your own life priorities. The main emphasis should be on the fact that these should be your own goals and desires, and not imposed from the outside.
Aggression and asserting one’s own opinion. Don't be afraid to offend someone by proving that you're right. You must defend your opinion decisively and boldly. Each of us has the right to this.

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that those methods that are ideal for some are absolutely not suitable for others. The choice of the optimal method of disposal should be entrusted to a specialist.

To get rid of dependence on the opinions of others, you need to learn to perceive yourself as you are. You should not be shy and constantly draw parallels between your own personality and other people’s imposed standards. You need to learn to correctly perceive your “pros” and “cons”. Understand that people are not perfect and love yourself for who you are.

For those who “earned” a complex as a result of an oppressive upbringing, I advise you to think about what exactly you want. Not parents, significant other or colleagues.

Every person at least once in his life has encountered the influence of the evil eye. With a feeling as if vital energy had left the body, and emptiness in the soul. You don't have to be in a huge crowd to do this. Even a good friend can absorb positive energy when, after communication, one feels a loss of strength, a depressed state, or anxiety. It is necessary to fight this condition so as not to suffer a streak of failures.

Cleaning the biofield with water

Water is the movement of energy and time. It is she who will help remove negativity and cleanse the biofield. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a shower or a bath, swimming in the pool, or the sea. The most important thing is that water washes the body.

If a person has received negative information, it is advisable to use running water. When you take a shower, you feel like all the problems of the day go away. You can not wash your entire body, but only your hands and face under the tap.

There is a practice that helps get rid of the evil eye with a wet foot massage:

The legs are wetted in the basin at least up to the ankles.
Wet your palms.
Clap your feet 50 times with your palm.
Wash your feet with running water and wipe with a towel.

Fiery energy will help

Candles are used not only for romantic evenings, but also to cleanse your biofield. It's great to light a lot of candles and plunge into your thoughts, you can even meditate.

Good news for those who have a fireplace: it can be used instead of candles. However, we are only talking about real wood-burning fireplaces, where the fire is lit with a match. Electric ones are not suitable, because they do not carry living energy.

The advantage of fire in the fight against the forces of evil has been proven by our ancestors. There is a belief that all elements (earth, water) are capable of absorbing negative waves into themselves and accumulating them in their layers. Fire is not contaminated by evil, it burns instantly. It is absolutely clean, erases information from objects, events, people.

Rock salt

Salt itself is an ingredient for ceremonies and magical rituals. It is able to absorb all negative influences and cleanse the space.

Sprinkling salt on the floor, placing a sheet of paper and holding your feet on it will make it much easier. You can repeat the same action with your elbows and head. Used salt is poured into the toilet or taken away from the house.

To enhance the effect, salt is calcined in a cast iron, saying: “As evil came, so it left me. Salt will cleanse you from the evil eye and save your words, taking the bad things with you. Amen".

Nature

Any outdoor recreation cleanses the human biofield and replenishes wasted energy. Walking through the forest and the sea coast, you feel grace.

Trees are natural healers. While in the forest, it’s good to hug the trunk, stand with your back and touch your spine. In the Druid calendar you can find out which tree belongs to a person with a certain date of birth.

The power of thought

If a person often gets angry and takes out his indignation on others, then this is a reason to think about it. Maybe that’s why the Universe doesn’t favor him and returns all the evil into his life? Curses spoken from the heart during a period of sincere anger are especially dangerous.

Problems will boomerang if you don’t watch your words and cause harm to people, even in your thoughts. By working on yourself, you can not only become kinder, but also clear your life of problems.