The expression “midlife crisis” is heard by many. Everyone is especially concerned about its manifestation in representatives of the stronger sex, because the signs of a midlife crisis in men are usually expressed more clearly than in women. However, this crisis is only one of many. What exactly are developmental crises?
Turning points in a child's life
Let's start with the fact that the age crisis is a normal phenomenon in a person's life. Each person goes through several such periods, and it is believed that the first begins already at the moment when the baby is born.
However, if we remember that the Greek word κρίσις is translated as “turning point”, “turning point”, everything falls into place. Perhaps never again does the human body experience a stronger shock than at birth, when it has to quickly adapt to new conditions of existence.
Then age-related crises in children replace each other until adolescence.
- Crisis of one year (lasts from nine months to one and a half years).
- Three years (from two and a half to four years).
- Seven years old (about six to eight years old, with the start of school).
- Puberty (approximately 11-15 years).
As the clarifications in parentheses indicate, the names of crises are largely arbitrary and only approximately indicate the age at which they occur. Each child develops individually, and for some the time of psychological adjustment may begin earlier than for others, for others it is the other way around.
The child strives for greater independence, new impressions and their verbal expression, and all this spills out in capriciousness, disobedience, and constant demand for attention. Parents should try to remain calm and redirect the baby’s energy “in a peaceful direction.”
The peculiarities of the next crisis are that the child is psychologically separated from his parents, recognizes himself as a separate person, but at the same time remains extremely dependent on his father and mother. In psychology, it is customary to identify clear symptoms of this crisis:
- Negativism, that is, the desire to do the opposite, and not as the adult asks.
- Obstinacy is a rejection of the rules of education in general.
- Stubbornness, manifested in an absurd desire to do things in one’s own way, and not as parents or teachers advise.
- Devaluation: Everything that was previously an object of love or affection seems to become completely irrelevant. Devaluation concerns both objects (for example, previously favorite toys) and people (the child no longer sees authority in the parents).
- Protest-rebellion is expressed in the child’s aggressiveness and constant conflicts, seemingly out of the blue.
- Self-will is the denial of help (including when there is a real need for it), the desire to do everything yourself.
- Despotism - the child tries by all means available to him to manipulate family members.
What should parents do? The recommendations are approximately the same as during the first crisis period: remain patient, allow independence when appropriate, praise for success, try to teach social norms in a playful way.
The crisis is expressed primarily in the desire to copy the behavior of adults, antics: psychologists call this period a time of loss of spontaneity and naivety. It can also manifest itself in moodiness, aggressiveness, and increased fatigue. The crisis stage will be easier if you provide proper psychological preparation for school.
Perhaps a separate book could be written about the problems of adolescence. The duration of this crisis is longer, and it is more painful than the previous ones. But you can also cope with it if you learn to build relationships with your son or daughter in a new way.
The main thing that parents should remember (and how to console themselves when it seems that the child has become completely unbearable): developmental psychology considers such “difficult periods” as a natural physiological phenomenon, meaning development and movement forward - the child realizes himself in a new status and learns to build new relationships with the world and himself.
Adulthood and its turning points
The time frame for crises that occur in adulthood is much more blurred. The same midlife crisis: some attribute its onset to 35 years, others talk about 40-45 years.
In addition, changing reality dictates its conditions. For example, recently the concept of a “quarter-life crisis”, which occurs at approximately 25 years of age, has recently become relevant (more often its manifestations are noticed by those who are slightly older: 27 or 28). What is the twenty-fifth anniversary crisis and what caused it?
Nowadays, people in general begin to feel like adults later than before, life expectancy has increased, and values and priorities have shifted. In addition, one cannot ignore the influence of the Internet: social networks provide excellent opportunities to create the appearance of a successful life for others. And it’s hard not to start worrying and doubting yourself if peers report daily about their career or personal achievements, posting bright photos and collecting comments and likes.
What to do? First of all, try not to compare yourself with others, secondly, decide what goals and desires are truly yours, and not imposed by stereotypes, and move in this direction. Be prepared for mistakes and try to perceive them with a bit of irony.
The most difficult threshold
Finally, we come to probably the most disturbing topic for mature people - the midlife crisis. This period is indeed fraught with serious psychological difficulties, especially for the male half of humanity. Why?
At the same time, the paradox is that such a “double load” of a modern woman may not save her from a crisis, but, on the contrary, cause it. As psychologists say, a woman's midlife crisis arises either because her career has been successful, but her personal life has not, or in the exact opposite situation.
Also important is the fact that at 35-40 years old a woman encounters the first signs of aging and most often reacts very painfully to this, because the stereotype about the attractiveness of youth and the ugliness of old age, in spite of everything, is still very tenacious.
Thus, a modern forty-year-old woman has much more reasons for worries and problems than a man, but they still write and talk mainly about the male aspect of this problem: when does a midlife crisis occur in men, how long does a midlife crisis last in men? ...
How to overcome a midlife crisis? For both men and women, the main advice will be this: try to think not about what will no longer happen in life, but about those interesting moments that are yet to be experienced.
And to ensure that there is definitely an abundance of them, find yourself a hobby, take up a new business, or finally go on a vacation that you have long dreamed of. This all sounds quite banal, but it actually works. And of course, it is important that your loved ones support you.
Therefore, if a wife or husband is having a midlife crisis, the partner should (although this is very difficult) show restraint. Do not blame, do not take his or her bad mood personally, but try to find positive aspects even in this difficult situation.
After forty
Finally, the last age crisis is associated with retirement. Its appearance is usually caused by the inadequacy of the remaining resources and the forced abandonment of work. The aging of the body accelerates, and the fear of death is felt.
No matter how global the problems that weigh down during the age crisis may seem, remember: this is a temporary phenomenon. Crises can and must be fought! Take them as a step towards personal growth and gaining new knowledge about yourself, which will help you get even more pleasure from life in the future. Author: Evgenia Bessonova
Every person goes through certain age-related crises in his life. In psychology, there are several age-related crises that occur at a certain period and are marked by a person’s transition from one life stage to another. Each age crisis has its own characteristics and characteristics, which will be discussed in the online magazine website.
An age crisis is natural for any person. Its main goal is to transform a person’s life and encourage him to move to a new stage of his development. There are several age-related crises, and they all occur throughout a person’s life. At each age stage, a person has new tasks and goals that he must go through and overcome before a new round in his life begins.
Age crises are programmed by nature itself, so all people go through them. The main thing remains - how will a person get through the crisis? Some people go through certain crises easily, others difficult. Some crises may seem easy for a person, while others may seem difficult.
It should be understood that a crisis is not only a change in a person’s mental activity, but also his life circumstances that arise during a given period. Often a person’s lifestyle changes under the influence of an age crisis.
A crisis can be understood as any situation and environment when you are experiencing major changes in your life. A crisis situation is not only a martial law in the country, a change of government, terror, but also dismissal from work, non-payment of wages, divorce from a loved one, etc. Even the birth of a child is in some sense a crisis, since both parents have to change their habitual way of life and adapt it to the needs of the third person. Although such crises cannot be called age-related.
If you remember all your moments of crisis in life, you will understand that each time you experienced them very hard, bitterly, with fear and anxiety. It was as if you were confused, unsettled, and didn’t know what to do or where to go. A crisis is a period when serious changes occur in a person’s life. And how he will experience his crisis depends only on him.
In a crisis, people more often experience negative emotions than positive ones. It is during such periods of disappointment, fear and worry about an unknown future that a person is in dire need of happiness. A person cannot find a “thread” that he would grab and hold on to, so as not to fall even further into the abyss. This “thread” is a piece of at least some happiness. This is why many people make decisions at critical moments in their lives that they would never have made if they were in a stable situation. For example, women begin to date men who are far from their ideals. And men can work for pennies.
The crisis of life is dangerous because a person reduces the level of his claims and conditions, because he is ready to enjoy little, if only there is at least some happiness. But let's not take things to extremes. The crisis is not so bad. You just need to figure out how to make yourself happy during this period?
Where to find your happiness in times of crisis? While you suffer, worry, and are forced to change your lifestyle, it is very useful to be happy. It gives you energy and... Where can you get this very happiness? You just need to think about what you can do usefully during your crisis. For example, you once loved to read - take out your books and re-read them again. If you ever wanted to play sports, do it. You once liked the idea of learning to understand economics - go to special courses. In other words, remember what once fascinated you, interested you, but was abandoned for one reason or another (most often due to lack of time). Renew your hobbies while you're in .
A small piece of happiness can be obtained from simply comparing yourself with other people. But there is also a danger here that you will begin to compare yourself with those who, in your opinion, are more successful than you. Look at those people who live worse than you. Of course, it sounds a little selfish, but it can also bring pleasure - the understanding that your life is not so bad.
A crisis is dangerous because a person can lower his requirements for the quality of his life. Bad people will begin to appear around him, he will begin to get into unpleasant situations. Therefore, you need to remember your hobbies and interests, which will give at least some joy at the moment while you are emerging from the crisis. If you have such an opportunity, then set goals for the future and begin to slowly implement them. Do something useful for yourself. Only this will bring you joy during this period.
What are age crises?
An age crisis should be called features of mental activity that are observed in absolutely all individuals during a certain period. Of course, the age crisis does not occur exactly on the birthday when it should begin. For some people, the age crisis begins a little earlier, for others - a little later. In children, age-related crises are usually most noticeable and occur within plus or minus 6 months of a given age. In adults, age-related crises can last a very long time (7-10 years) and begin plus or minus 5 years from a given age. At the same time, the symptoms of an age-related crisis in an adult will increase gradually and even have vague characteristics.
An age crisis should be called a new round, an outcome, the beginning of a new movement. In other words, with the onset of an age crisis, a person has new tasks, often based on a feeling of personal dissatisfaction that arose in the previous period.
The midlife crisis is best known for the fact that it is during this period that a person looks back, understands missed opportunities, realizes the meaninglessness of his desire to make other people's desires come true and his readiness to part with everything just to start living the way he wants.
An age crisis is the beginning of a new movement, when a person sets new goals and tries to achieve them before another crisis occurs.
Psychology examines age-related crises in detail, since with their onset many things begin to change in a person’s life. Not only the desires and aspirations of the individual change, but also his mental activity. Crises that occur in childhood are associated with mental and physical development, while crises in adulthood are more associated with achieved desires, satisfaction with life and relationships with other people.
Age crises provoke a person to move. As soon as everything in the life of an individual has calmed down, it has worked out, he has become accustomed to his image, and again he has internal experiences, restructuring, transformation. Every crisis is marked by the fact that a person is forced to change something in his life. This leads to instability of his position, the need to overcome difficulties and solve emerging problems.
That’s why psychologists look at age-related crises in more detail to understand how a person can easily get through them. The following advice is given:
- Each crisis forces a person to solve certain problems. If a person cannot find a solution, then he often gets stuck in a crisis period. A new round begins, which becomes even more difficult to overcome due to unsolved problems in the previous period.
- Every crisis is marked by changes in a person. And the individual does not always progress (develop). There are frequent cases when an individual, on the contrary, regresses, that is, degrades due to his inability to adapt to the new conditions of his existence.
- Parents should help overcome crises in childhood. Otherwise, if the child does not go through a certain crisis, he will be stuck in it for a long time, continuing to worry him in subsequent years, even throughout his life, until the problem of the crisis is solved and eliminated. So, if:
- The child will not receive basic trust, then he will not be able to establish close relationships with people.
- The child will not gain independence, then he will not be able to make his own decisions and understand his own desires.
- If a child does not learn to work hard or does not acquire certain skills, then it will be difficult for him to achieve success in life.
Many people get stuck in adolescence - a period when a person must take responsibility for his own life. If a child runs away from responsibility, then he is deprived of the opportunity to be successful.
Thus, an age crisis is a specific task that a person must solve in the time allotted to him in order to safely move to a new stage of his development when the time comes.
Age crises and their characteristics
So, let's move on to the characteristics of age-related crises:
- The first crisis occurs from birth to one year - the period of development of basic trust in the world. Here the child screams loudly and demands attention and care from loved ones. That is why parents should run to him at the first call, which is not pampering or a whim, but becomes a need of this age. Otherwise, if the child does not receive all the care and love at the first cry, he will develop distrust of the world.
- The second age crisis occurs between the ages of 1 and 3 years - when the child gradually tries to do everything himself. He tries his hand, repeats after adults, gradually gains autonomy and independence from them. Here the child needs help and encouragement. It is at this age that he becomes capricious, stubborn, hysterical, which is associated with his desire to be independent. The child also needs to set boundaries (what can and cannot be done), otherwise he will grow up to be a tyrant. Do not protect him from experiments and knowledge of his own body, because it is at this stage that the child begins to study his genitals and understand the difference between the sexes.
- The third age crisis occurs between the ages of 3 and 6 years - when the child learns to work hard and begins to do all the housework. It is during this period that the child needs to be taught everything, starting with the basics. You need to allow him to do everything on his own, under the supervision of his parents, making mistakes and correcting them without being punished. Also at this age, the child is interested in role-playing games, which he should be encouraged to do, since in this way he learns social life in all its aspects.
- The fourth age crisis occurs from 6 to 12 years - when the child easily and quickly acquires knowledge and skills that he will use throughout his life. That is why during this period he should be trained, educated and allowed to attend all the circles that he wants to engage in. During this period, he will gain the experience and skills that he will use throughout his life.
- The fifth stage is called “adolescence” and is marked by difficulties in communication between parents and children. This is due to the fact that children’s attitudes towards themselves and adults change, which parents should take into account. At this stage, the child is engaged in self-identification: who is he, what should he do, what role does he play in this life? Often a teenager here joins various informal groups, changes his image and tries new models of behavior. Parents are no longer authorities for children, which is normal. What can parents do?
- Start respecting the child’s wishes and talking to him as an equal. If you don’t like something, then hint or say it gently so that the child will think and decide for himself whether to obey you.
- Become an example for him. If he does not see you as an authority, then offer him the option of a worthy person from whom he will take an example (preferably of his gender). Otherwise, the child himself will find someone to look up to.
- Help your child find himself and his meaning in life. Not to edify, but to allow you to get carried away not only with your studies, but also with your interests.
- The sixth crisis occurs at the age of 20-25 - when a person completely moves away (splits off) from his parents. An independent life begins, which parents should not interfere with. At this stage, a person learns to communicate with the opposite sex and build relationships with them. If this does not happen, it means that the previous stage has not been completed. A person also makes new friends, joins work life, where he encounters new people and teams. It is very important that a person knows how to take responsibility and overcome all difficulties. If, under the onslaught of problems, a person runs to his parents, it means that he has not yet gone through some previous stage. Here a person must overcome the barrier when he must meet other people's expectations and be himself. You need to stop pleasing others and start living your own life, being yourself, going your own way. If a person cannot protect himself from public opinion, then he continues to be infantile (a child).
- The seventh stage begins at age 25 and lasts until age 35-45. Here a person begins to arrange his family, develop a career, find friends who will respect him, develop, strengthen and make all this stable in his life.
- The eighth crisis is called the “midlife crisis,” which begins at the age of 40 (plus or minus 5 years) - when a person has everything stable, worked out, organized, but he begins to understand that all this is pointless and does not make him happy. Here a person begins to look back to understand why he is unhappy. He did everything as his relatives, friends and society in general told him, but he is still unhappy. If a person understands that before he did not live the way he would like, then he destroys it all. If a person is more or less satisfied with his life, then he only sets new goals to which he will strive, having everything that he already has.
- The next crisis also becomes a turning point, it begins at 50-55 years old - when a person chooses whether he will continue to live or grow old. Society tells a person that he is already losing his importance. A person is aging, so he is no longer needed, since there are younger and more promising people. And here a person decides whether he will continue to fight, live, develop, or begin to grow old, think about death, and prepare for retirement.
- The last crisis occurs at the age of 65 - when a person has extensive experience, knowledge, and skills. What will he do next? Depending on the decision made, a person either begins to share his knowledge, teach young people, or begins to get sick, become a burden to loved ones, and demand their attention, like a small child.
Features of age crises
Depending on how a person reacts to his periods of crisis, he goes through them hard or soft. You don’t have to show that something is starting to change. However, age-related crises occur for everyone, which is inevitable. If you try to run away from a crisis period, not notice it, try not to change anything in your life, then this will not help matters.
However, there are people who are more open to any changes in their lives. They go through periods of crisis more gently because they quickly adapt and learn to everything.
Bottom line
An age crisis is an obligatory phenomenon in the life of any person, which is associated with mental changes in the individual. How a person will go through this or that crisis period depends on him personally. However, during a crisis period, you can get stuck, degrade, or progress (become more perfect), which depends on the person himself and which will affect his entire future life.
Plan:
Introduction
1. The essence of the age crisis
2. Age crises
2.1. Newborn crisis
2.2 Adolescence crisis
2.3 Midlife crisis
2.4 “Knot period” crisis of old age
Literature
Introduction
In psychological theories, the category “age crisis” is used in numerous contexts, differs in its content and is associated with various characteristics of human mental development. The essence of age-related crises lies in a change in the system of a person’s connections with the surrounding reality and his attitude towards it, in a change in leading activity. Unlike crises of a neurotic or traumatic type, they relate to normative changes necessary for the normal progressive course of mental development.
During age-related crises, the emotional background changes sharply, elements of depressive symptoms, severe anxiety, tension, decreased performance, etc. appear. All this is a consequence of a mismatch in the self-prognosis system, the level of individual aspirations: a person cannot ensure the productive implementation of individual programs. The implementation of these programs begins to require enormous energy efforts.
If we consider age-related crises from the point of view of changes that occur in the child’s behavior, then they are all characterized by some common features. During critical periods, children become disobedient, capricious, irritable: they often come into conflict with the adults around them, especially parents and educators; they develop a negative attitude towards previously fulfilled requirements, reaching the point of stubbornness and negativism.
The problem of age-related crises in ontogenesis is relevant, extremely interesting and at the same time insufficiently developed in theoretical and experimental terms. The very concept of “age crisis” is one of the least clearly defined and often does not have a complete form. Nevertheless, the term is widely used among psychologists and teachers. From a substantive point of view, periods of age-related crises are of interest because they differ in the specific features of the process of mental development (the presence of sharp changes in the psyche, the aggravation of contradictions, the negative nature of development, etc.).
The crisis period turns out to be difficult for the child, as well as for the adults around him - teachers and parents, who need to develop strategies for upbringing and learning based on the fundamental changes in the child’s psyche. The behavior of children during these periods is characterized by difficulty in educating and is particularly difficult for adults. In order to select adequate educational measures, it is necessary to analyze the prerequisites for the emergence of a crisis, the characteristics of the social development situation, the essence of the changes occurring in the child, and the new formations of the crisis period. Age-related crises are characteristic not only of childhood; normative crises of adulthood are also highlighted. These crises are distinguished by their particular uniqueness in the course of the period, in the nature of a person’s personal new formations, etc.
The purpose of the work is to analyze the psychological essence, structure and content of age-related crises. Based on the goal, the following tasks were solved:
Theoretical analysis of aspects of studying the problem of age-related crises;
Disclosure of the essence and content of age-related crises;
Study of general principles of age-related mental development;
Psychological analysis of crises of age-related development.
1. The essence of the age crisis
Crisis (from the Greek krineo) means "parting of the roads." The concept of “crisis” means an acute situation for making some kind of decision, a turning point, the most important moment in a person’s life or activity.
A crisis in life is a situation in which a person is faced with the impossibility of realizing the internal necessity of his life (motives, aspirations, values) due to the emergence of obstacles (most often external), which, based on his past experience, he cannot overcome. A person gets used to a certain form of his life and activity: the image and state of the body, food, clothing, more or less comfortable living conditions, a bank account, a car, a wife, children, social status, meanings and spiritual values. The crisis deprives him of support. However, along with negative, negative manifestations, a crisis, like nothing else, highlights what is human remains of a person, what remains inside him, what is rooted and firmly seated in him, and what is immediately destroyed as soon as external attributes disappear. Everything external comes out during the crisis, and a person begins to become aware of his appearance. If he also abandons this external husk, then there is a purification of consciousness, a deep understanding of true value, and spiritual awareness of oneself. Therefore, a psychological crisis is physical and mental suffering, on the one hand, and transformation, development and personal growth, on the other. Thus, the source of the crisis of mental development does not lie in the conflict of a person with the external system of relations, but is caused by the internal conflict of the relationship between the real and the ideal form. It is this attitude that first provokes a conflict, then attempts to resolve it, and then a transition to a new system of cooperation, that is, a transition to a new leading activity.
A crisis is not a dead end, but certain contradictions that accumulate in a person. A crisis in life is always unpleasant. Be it health or family, or work, or friendships. A person breaks out of his usual rhythm. Nevertheless, there are a number of so-called “normative” crises that a person goes through throughout his life: the crisis of the newborn, one year, three, seven, adolescence, the midlife crisis at 35-45 years, the “nodular period.”
All life crises are like a nesting doll. It’s hard when a person does not get out of a crisis, but accumulates them. All crises, in essence, are associated with the search for the meaning of life and attempts to answer questions like “Why am I living? For whom?”, as well as the problem of personal freedom, and the struggle for it at all stages of life.
Although a person has internal reserves (adaptive properties) to solve emerging difficulties, often these protective mechanisms fail to cope.
Considering crises as a pattern of human mental development, knowing their frequency and causes of occurrence, they can at least be predicted, and therefore mitigate the inevitable ones built into human nature and avoid those that are the result of the wrong choice of the person himself.
Perhaps the most important function of the crisis is its impact on human development - L.S. Vygovsky wrote that “if crises had not been discovered experimentally, they, nevertheless, should have been defined theoretically.” The basis for such a statement is that the process of human development occurs in “jerks”, from one stage to another, i.e., in a revolutionary rather than an evolutionary way. During these periods, dramatic changes occur in a relatively short period of time, which are very noticeable to others.
2. Age crises
Age-related crises are special, relatively short-term age periods (up to a year), characterized by sharp mental changes in a person’s personality, arising during the transition from one age stage to another, associated with systemic qualitative changes in the sphere of a person’s social relations, his activity and consciousness . The age crisis is caused by the emergence of major new formations of the previous stable period, which lead to the destruction of one social development situation and the emergence of another adequate to the new psychological appearance of a person. The form and duration of these periods, as well as the severity of their occurrence, depend on individual characteristics, social and microsocial conditions. The essence of the age crisis is the transformation of the social situation of development, in which the old social situation of development is destroyed, and in its place, instead of it, a new one is built; The psychological content of the age-related crisis is that the subjectification of the neoplasm of the previous stable period occurs, i.e. transformation of a neoplasm of a stable period into a subjective ability of the individual.
Chronologically, the following age-related crises are distinguished: neonatal crisis; crisis of one year; crisis of three years; crisis of seven years; seventeen year crisis; crisis of thirty years; pension crisis. The concept of individual critical ages was introduced into science empirically and in a random manner. Analysis of crisis periods will reveal the psychological essence of the process of ontogenetic development of personality. The main differences between critical periods of development and stable periods are the duration of the course, the characteristics of the dynamics of mental changes, and the nature of the emerging neoplasms. The age crisis can be accompanied by a special syndrome - difficult to educate.
2.1 Newborn crisis
The process of birth is a difficult, turning point in the life of a child. Birth is always a sharp transition to something new. Psychoanalysts call birth a trauma and believe that a person’s entire subsequent life bears the stamp of the trauma he experienced at birth.
When born, the child is physically separated from the mother and finds himself in completely different conditions: cold, bright light, an air environment that requires a different type of breathing, the need to change the type of nutrition. During the transition to extrauterine existence, not only the living conditions, but the very physiological existence of the baby changes radically. Before birth, the child and mother are fused into one. Its temperature is equal to the mother's body temperature. He lives in a world where there are no contrasts of darkness and light, heat and cold. When a baby is born, he finds himself in a world of contrasts and contradictions, and the very first of them is the first breath.
With the cutting of the umbilical cord, the child gains freedom, but physiologically “loses” the mother. To prevent this loss from being traumatic, the presence and attention of the mother from the first minutes of the baby’s life is absolutely necessary. The feeling of her warmth, smell, the sound of her voice, the beating of her heart - all this connects him with his previous life and makes his arrival in this one not so sharp, painful and traumatic. It is very important for the mother to feel and see her baby from the first minute of his birth: at this time maternal feelings are most acute.
A child comes into this world weak and completely helpless. Although, upon being born, he was physically separated from his mother, he was still biologically connected to her. He cannot satisfy any of his needs on his own. Such helplessness and complete dependence on an adult constitute the specificity of the social situation of the development of a newborn. The child is helped to adapt to new, strange conditions by the hereditary strengthening of a mechanism - unconditioned reflexes: this is, first of all, a system of food reflexes, as well as protective and orientation reflexes. Some reflexes are atavistic - they are inherited from animal ancestors, but are useless for the child and soon disappear. For example, the reflex, sometimes called the “monkey” reflex, disappears already in the second month of life (Appendix a).
The human child is the most helpless of all children at the moment of its birth. This is a lack of maturity not only in higher regulatory, but also in many unwilling physiological mechanisms, which leads to the emergence of a new social situation. During this period, it is generally impossible to consider a child separately from an adult. What has been said is extremely important, because the child does not yet have any means of interacting with adults.
Important events in the mental life of a child are the emergence of auditory and visual concentration. Auditory concentration appears at 2-3 weeks, visual concentration at 3-5 weeks.
The newborn spends time sleeping or dozing. Gradually, individual moments, short periods of wakefulness begin to emerge from this drowsy state. Auditory and visual concentration give wakefulness an active character.
The face of an adult evokes a state of “bliss” in the child - he smiles. A smile on a child's face is the end of the newborn crisis. From this moment his individual mental life begins.
The child does not just smile, he reacts to the adult with movements of his entire body. The baby is constantly on the move. He responds emotionally. The revitalization complex includes four main components:
Freezing and visual concentration - long, gaze at an adult;
A smile expressing the child’s joyful emotions;
Motor revivals, head movements, throwing up arms and legs, bending the back, etc.;
Vocalizations – screams (loud abrupt sounds), hooting (quiet short sounds “kh”, “gk”), humming (long-drawn sounds reminiscent of birdsong - “guulllii”, etc.).
Children who are lagging behind in development are primarily lagging behind precisely in the appearance of the revitalization complex. The revitalization complex, as the first specific behavioral act of a child, becomes decisive for all subsequent mental development. It is the first act of communication between a child and an adult and indicates the transition to a new stable period - the period of infancy.
2.2 Adolescence crisis
The image of the physical self and self-awareness in general is influenced by the pace of puberty. Children with late maturation appear to be in the least advantageous position; acceleration creates more favorable opportunities for personal development. After the relatively calm primary school age, adolescence seems turbulent and complex. Development at this stage really proceeds at a rapid pace, especially many changes are observed in terms of personality formation. The main feature of a teenager is personal instability. Opposite traits, aspirations, tendencies coexist and fight with each other, determining the inconsistency of the character and behavior of a growing child.
Many teenagers, falling under the influence of a physical condition, begin to get very nervous and blame themselves for their failure. These sensations are often not realized, but latently form tension that is difficult for a teenager to cope with. Against such a background, any external difficulties are perceived as especially tragic.
Adolescence is a period of desperate attempts to “get through everything.” At the same time, a teenager for the most part begins his journey with taboo or previously impossible aspects of adult life. Many teenagers try alcohol and drugs out of curiosity. If this is done not for testing, but for courage, physical dependence arises. But overindulgence and testing can lead to psychological dependence, which manifests itself in tension, anxiety, and irritability.
Teenagers are quite frivolous about human vices and weaknesses and, as a result, quickly turn to alcohol and drugs, turning them from a source of oriented behavior (curiosity) into an object of their needs. Against this background, reflecting on his “fall,” the teenager often turns it into a form of self-affirmation, drowning out the inner feeling of loss of himself, his personal crisis.
Where internal inhibitions are weak, where the sense of responsibility for oneself and others is poorly developed, readiness for sexual contacts with representatives of the opposite and sometimes the same sex breaks through. A high degree of tension before and after sexual intercourse places a severe test on the psyche. First sexual impressions can have an impact on the sexual life of an adult. Therefore, it is important that these impressions reflect decent forms of interaction between young sexual partners. Many teenagers, due to unfavorable experiences, develop neuroses, and some even develop sexually transmitted diseases. All these forms of new life for adolescents place a heavy burden on the psyche. Tension from the uncertainty of life in a new capacity (smoker, sexual partner, etc.) as a result of loss of self-identity pushes many adolescents into a state of acute crisis.
Separately, we should point out the adolescent crisis associated with spiritual growth and changes in mental status. Although during this period there is an objective change in the social status of the adolescent (new relationships emerge with loved ones, peers, teachers; the field of activity expands, etc.), the most important factor influencing the emergence of a crisis is reflection on the inner world and deep dissatisfaction with oneself. Loss of identity with oneself, the discrepancy between previous ideas about oneself and today’s image - this is the main content of adolescent experiences. Dissatisfaction can be so strong that obsessive states appear: irresistible depressing thoughts about oneself, doubts, fears. At the same time, a critical attitude towards these conditions remains, which aggravates the teenager’s difficult feelings.
Many teenagers experience a crisis in external manifestations of negativism - meaningless opposition from others, unmotivated opposition to parents and teachers. The task of close adults and psychologists here is clear - it is necessary to get involved in the problems of the adolescent and try to make his life easier during this period.
2.3 Midlife crisis
The midlife crisis is the strangest and most terrible time in a person’s mental development. Many people (especially creative ones), not finding strength in themselves and not finding a new meaning in life, simply leave it. This period (after adolescence) accounts for the largest number of suicides.
As mentioned above, an adult begins to form questions that he is not able to answer, but which sit inside and destroy him. “What is the meaning of my existence!?”, “Is this what I wanted!? If yes, then what next!?” etc. the ideas about life that developed between twenty and thirty years old do not satisfy him. Analyzing the path traveled, his achievements and failures, a person discovers that despite an already established and apparently prosperous life, his personality is imperfect, that a lot of time and effort was wasted, that he did little compared to what he could have done, etc. In other words, there is a reassessment of values, a critical revision of one’s self. A person discovers that he can no longer change many things in his life, in himself: family, profession, usual way of life. Having realized himself during his youth, a person suddenly realizes that, in essence, he is faced with the same task - search, self-determination in new circumstances of life, taking into account real opportunities (including limitations that he had not noticed before). This crisis manifests itself in a feeling of the need to “do something” and indicates that a person is moving to a new age level - the age of adulthood. “crisis of thirty” is the conventional name for this crisis. This state can occur earlier or later; the feeling of a crisis state can occur repeatedly throughout life (as in childhood, adolescence, adolescence), since the development process proceeds in a spiral without stopping.
Men at this time are characterized by divorce, a change of job or a change in lifestyle, the acquisition of expensive things (cars, motorcycles), frequent changes of sexual partners, and a clear orientation can be traced to the young age of the latter, as if he begins to get what he could not get in a more mature age. at an early age, fulfills their childhood and youth needs.
Women during the crisis of their 30th birthday usually change the priorities established at the beginning of early adulthood. Women focused on marriage and raising children are now increasingly attracted to professional goals. At the same time, those who devoted their energies to work now, as a rule, direct them into the bosom of family and marriage.
Experiencing this crisis moment in his life, a person is looking for an opportunity to strengthen his niche in adult life, to confirm his status as an adult: he wants to have a good job, he strives for security and stability. The person is still confident that the full realization of the hopes and aspirations that make up the “dream” is possible, and he works hard for this.
2.4 “Knot period” crisis of old age
In old age (old age), a person has to overcome three sub-crises. The first of them is to re-evaluate one’s own “I” in addition to its professional role, which for many people remains the main one until retirement. The second sub-crisis is associated with the awareness of the fact of deteriorating health and aging of the body, which gives a person the opportunity to develop the necessary indifference in this regard. As a result of the third sub-crisis, a person’s self-concern disappears, and now he can accept the thought of death without horror.
Undoubtedly, the problem of death is of all ages. However, it is for the elderly and elderly that it does not seem far-fetched, premature, transforming into the problem of natural death. For them, the question of attitude towards death is transferred from subtext to the context of life itself. The time comes when the tense dialogue between life and death begins to clearly sound in the space of individual existence, and the tragedy of temporality is realized. However, aging, terminal illnesses and dying are not perceived as part of the process of life, but as complete failure and a painful misunderstanding of the limitations of the ability to control nature. From the point of view of the philosophy of pragmatism, which emphasizes the importance of achievement and success, a dying person is a failure.
Now our social structure, as well as philosophy, religion and medicine, have almost nothing to offer to alleviate the mental anguish of the dying. Elderly and elderly people, as a rule, fear not death itself, but the possibility of a purely plant existence devoid of any meaning, as well as suffering and torment caused by disease. It can be stated that there are two leading attitudes in their attitude towards death: firstly, the reluctance to burden their loved ones, and secondly, the desire to avoid painful suffering. This period is also called the “nodular” period, because, not wanting to be burdened with old age and death, many older people begin to prepare for death, collect things associated with the ritual, and save money for the funeral. Therefore, many, being in a similar position, experience a deep and all-encompassing crisis, affecting simultaneously the biological, emotional, philosophical and spiritual aspects of life.
The culture of empathy for the death of another person is an integral component of the general culture of both the individual and society as a whole. At the same time, it is quite rightly emphasized that the attitude towards death serves as a standard, an indicator of the moral state of society, its civilization. It is important to create not only conditions for maintaining normal physiological vitality, but also the prerequisites for optimal life activity, to satisfy the needs of elderly and elderly people for knowledge, culture, art, literature, which are often beyond the reach of older generations. Many adults, during the age crisis of their child, are faced with a crisis in their own upbringing system, since changes in the child’s behavior begin to indicate the ineffectiveness of the old upbringing strategy, lead to a subjective experience of this situation, attempts to build new behavioral strategies and tactics, and a transition to new forms of interaction with the child. . This sequence generally repeats the structure of an age-related crisis with one significant difference: if a child is experiencing an active crisis, then the crisis of raising an adult is reactive. The child “himself” destroys the usual forms of cooperation with the adult, while the adult “reacts” to the destruction, first making an attempt to preserve them.
During the age crisis, the actions of all participants in interaction change: both adults and children. The condition for successful resolution of the crisis is the correction of adult behavior. An adult needs to have certain knowledge about the changes occurring with a child at this age stage. Only on the basis of this knowledge can you act in a certain way and analyze your own actions. As a rule, the age crisis in adults is aggravated by certain non-normative factors (strong emotional experiences and major failures - loss of important family ties, death, divorce, miscarriage, etc.). At the present stage, the number of people experiencing certain crisis conditions is steadily increasing. On the one hand, this may be due to sudden changes in living conditions (instability of social structures, illnesses, changes in the social environment), on the other hand, with a certain evolutionary stage in the development of the human psyche as a whole.
The duration of crisis experiences and the possibility of a constructive or destructive way out of the crisis are largely determined by the type of coping and the individual’s attitude towards an unfavorable life situation. The most typical options for a person’s attitude towards crises: ignoring; exaggerating; demonstrative; voluntaristic; productive. Of course, there are still many areas for further research in this area. The problem of crises and ways out of them is one of the most promising and pressing problems in psychology today.
Literature
1. Obukhova L.F. developmental psychology / Russian pedagogical agency, 2004. – 193 p.
2. Erickson E. Identity. Youth and crisis / centerpolygraph, 2003. – 133 p.
3.Abramova G.S. developmental psychology / exmo, 2003. – 301 p.
4. Mukhina V.S. developmental psychology/academy, 2006. – 608 p. 5. Rogov E.I. general psychology/ Vlados, 2002. – 202 p.
6. Polivanova K. N. Psychology of age-related crises: a textbook for students of pedagogical universities / harvest, 2007. – 640 p.
7. Elkonin D.B. selected psychological works/pedagogy, 2000. – 560 p.
8. Hollis D. Pass in the middle of the road: midlife crisis / cogito center, 2005. – 192 p.
No! Don't want! I won't! I won't! Go away! You are bad (bad)! I don't love you! I don't need you (don't need you)! Have you already heard similar phrases from your children? Congratulations!!! Your child is experiencing an age crisis at 1, 3, 7, 14 or 18 years old.
You may ask why congratulations? But because this means the correct and normal development of your child. According to psychologists, a child who has not gone through a real crisis in due time is not able to develop fully further.
However, many parents are afraid of these periods and often resort to drastic measures to pacify the little “revolutionary”. Sometimes the intensity of emotions reaches such a degree that adults can shout at him and even spank him. But such influences, at a minimum, will not bring any benefit, or at most will worsen the situation (this depends on the mental properties of the child himself and the internal microclimate in the family). And most of the parents will later regret and suffer because of their unexpected reaction, reproaching themselves for what bad teachers they are.
It is important to remember here that the irritation and anger that parents experience is a normal reaction in this case, since in fact these crises are not only children’s, but at the same time family crises, too. Both children and adults can experience negative emotions. This is fine! You just need to understand it, accept it and react correctly to the current situation.
Developmental crises accompany a person throughout his life: the crisis of the newborn, 14, 17, 30 years old, etc. A crisis is a temporary phenomenon. With a correct understanding of it, we can either completely rid ourselves of the manifestations of the crisis or reduce them to a minimum. However, if this period is not passed through by the child fully and profitably, then all unresolved problems that arose in the last critical period will manifest themselves with renewed vigor in the next age crisis and, coupled with new problems of the next age, will give an even greater emotional and psychological explosion than it did. could be.
Why does it happen that your beloved, sweet and obedient baby today suddenly turned into a capricious and nervous pest? Let's take a closer look at the main crises in children by year.
Newborn crisis
At birth, a child moves from an environment completely adapted for him to a world to which he must adapt himself. This becomes a lot of stress for the baby. At this time, his attitude and trust in the outside world are formed. To successfully pass this critical period, only a permanent person should be with the child. Mom doesn’t have to be here, but someone should be there all the time. Feed, bathe, change clothes, approach when crying, pick up. If there is no such adult nearby and the need for contact and intimacy with him is not satisfied, then this may later affect the behavior of the child, and then the adult. For example, in the future, very rapid sensory and emotional overload and fatigue are possible.
During this period, there is a so-called symbiosis, when mother and child feel and understand each other at deep non-verbal levels. Accordingly, any feelings and emotions of the mother are projected onto the child. So, for example, if the mother is calm, then the child is calm, and if the mother is worried and nervous, then the child reacts to this with very restless behavior. The child at this time is very “comfortable” and understandable. Fed - he's full, rocked - he's asleep. Of course, mothers get used to the fact that the child is completely dependent on her and, out of habit, continue to think and do everything for the child. But as the child grows and matures, such a connection ceases to satisfy him, and when he finally learns to sit and then walk, a new crisis of 1 year begins.
Year 1 crisis
At this time, the child becomes aware, understands and perceives the world in a new way. If earlier he perceived himself and his mother as a single whole, now their emotional and psychological separation from each other begins. In many situations, the child encounters a different mother’s reaction to events than his. So his happiness from the amazing marks left by a felt-tip pen on the wallpaper or the joy from the exciting process of smearing porridge on his hands and the table may not always coincide with his mother’s emotions.
At approximately the age of 1 year, the baby begins to walk. He has more freedom and an urgent need for research arises. Parents were accustomed to the fact that the child urgently needed them and was in their arms all the time. Children protest against restrictions on freedom (don’t touch, sit down, don’t walk, etc.), and therefore cognitive activity.
During this period, such personal values as self-esteem, self-respect, trust in oneself and one’s body, and practicing the accuracy of movement are established and practiced. The child must be given as much freedom of action as possible, while ensuring maximum safety for the baby in advance. Children of this period react sharply to prohibitions and restrictions, but are very easily distracted. Therefore, at this age, it would be better to distract the child with something bright and interesting than to limit his actions with a ban and end up with another whim and rebellion.
Read more about the 1-year-old crisis in a child.
Crisis of 3 years (occurs from 1.5 to 3 years)
Now your baby is beginning to separate himself and the world around him. This is the so-called “I myself” period, when the child searches and tries to understand his “I” and forms his internal positions. This is a period of realizing who I am to others. A child who previously felt like the center of the entire universe suddenly discovers that he is only one of many universes surrounding him.
During this period, such personal values as a sense of internal order, the ability to make decisions in one’s life, self-confidence, and self-sufficiency are being developed. It is now very important for a little person to understand any independent action as his own choice without the use of adults’ persuasion, the carrot and stick method. The best solution is to give the child the opportunity to do what he sees fit, giving him a choice without choice. Those. we offer him a choice of 2-3 options for action that are beneficial and correct for us in advance, but at the same time he feels his independence.
At this age, we definitely set boundaries for children’s behavior. If this is not done, then they will not know where to stop, and this is already fraught with big problems in adolescence. Such teenagers will have difficulty setting boundaries when communicating with other people and will become dependent on the opinions of more authoritative friends.
Read more about the crisis of a 3-year-old child.
Crisis of 7 years (occurs from 6 to 8 years)
At this time, the child receives a new social status - a schoolboy. And with this, new responsibilities and rights appear. The question arises of what to do with the new freedom and responsibility. Also, the child has his own opinion on everything. And here the parents’ respect for him is very important! Now the child really needs support in everything. Returning home, the student must be sure that here he can always find support in all the difficulties of life, new communication with peers and adults, and learning problems.
Your baby from yesterday has already grown up. And, despite the fact that sometimes he is still childishly impulsive and impatient, his reasoning and actions become more logical and acquire a semantic basis. He begins to distinguish and separate his own feelings and emotions, and learns self-control.
During this period, not only new academic and household responsibilities should appear, which only he and no one else can do. He can be offered a choice of washing the dishes, preparing everything for cleaning, caring for a pet, etc. At the same time, the child must decide for himself when and what he will do, but know that there are consequences for failure to fulfill his duties. These responsibilities are different for each child depending on their desires and preferences. Under no circumstances should you force him to do anything without his consent and desire. It is absolutely necessary to agree with him about this. The child becomes equal with us. Now he is one of the full members of the family, and not a subordinate.
Read more about the 7-year crisis
Puberty crisis (occurs from 11 to 15 years)
Problems at this age occur due to physiological changes. During this period we observe the so-called “growing pains”. The body grows and changes quickly. A teenager must get used to his new self, accept himself and learn to live with a changed body. Our adult child feels great overload of the nervous system. This is where psychological instability arises; it is easy to get angry. On the one hand, he is very stormy, restless, active, but at the same time he is subject to great physical fatigue and lethargy. A hormonal explosion occurs. The teenager experiences new feelings that he is not yet able to cope with. As a result, we see emotional instability and rapid mood changes. A teenager is overwhelmed by a storm of feelings and emotions. It seems to him that no one understands him, everyone demands something from him and is negatively disposed towards him. The child observes and feels the world in new, rich colors and manifestations, but he does not yet understand what to do with all this and how to behave correctly in this new world.
What should we do during this period? Since this is a “growing pain”, you don’t need to do anything about it. We calmly wait for our dear little one to “get over the disease.” We treat it during this period with care, caution, precision, and great attention.
This period is also associated for the child with the transition from childhood to adulthood. He is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. He rushes between these poles and cannot accept one of these roles completely. On the one hand, he is still a child, his interest in games and entertainment has not faded, and he does not want to part with the world of childhood. On the other hand, he already considers himself an adult, he is attracted by this apparent freedom of the adult world, but at the same time he understands that there are many responsibilities here that he does not yet want to take on.
What to do about it? Same thing - nothing. We are waiting for this period of uncertainty to end and our adult man to achieve full understanding and acceptance of his adulthood. We accept him as he is, give maximum support and participation if he asks for it.
Crisis of 17 years (occurs from 15 to 18 years)
This time is associated with the period of the beginning of social maturity, the period of stabilization of the processes of previous development. Our former child is finally reaching adulthood. The crisis of 17 years coincides with the time of graduation, when a boy (girl) faces the question of his future life path, choice of profession, subsequent education, work, and for boys - military service. All psychological problems during this period are associated with adapting to new living conditions and finding one’s place in it.
The support of family and people close to him can now provide a great role and help to a person. More than ever, your child now needs a sense of self-confidence, a sense of competence.
If your child does not receive the help and support he needs, then his fear and uncertainty can give rise to neurotic reactions, which in turn will lead to somatic problems, and then to illnesses on the physical level. Be attentive to your adult!
An age crisis is a period in which the amount of previously acquired knowledge and experience transforms into the quality of future life. And, if an adult is often left alone with his own problems of adolescence, then the child who is raising him can and should be helped to overcome this difficult period by his closest and dearest person.
There is no need to be afraid of such periods. A little patience and proper attention to the child, and you will pass this critical age point without much shock.
Age crises are natural transitional stages for every person, knowledge about which is in great demand. If a person, while living a specific period, does not achieve the goals set by age, a number of general and psychological problems appear. Everyone wants to live happily and long, moreover, to remain in their minds until the end, to remain active. Only desire, however, is not enough here; psychologists are sure that it is the success of passing age-related crises that affects the fullness of life.
At what age do crises begin, do they have age restrictions, how do crises unfold in different genders? During a crisis, you usually don’t want to act, how can you find the desire to move again?
Concept of age crisis
How is the concept of crisis revealed, what are its symptoms, time frame? How to distinguish a crisis from other psychological problems, ordinary fatigue? The word crisis, from its ancient Greek root, means decision, turning point, outcome. Indeed, a crisis is always associated with making some kind of decision, the need for change. A person realizes the onset of a crisis period when he sums up the achievement of goals set earlier in life and is dissatisfied with the result - he looks into the past and analyzes what he did not receive.
Throughout our lives, we go through several crisis periods, and each of them does not come suddenly, but through the accumulation of dissatisfaction due to discrepancies between what was expected and what actually happened. That is why he is known more than others, because a person has lived most of his life and began to think about the past and achievements, and often compare himself with others.
It happens that a person uses the word crisis to cover up his other mental ailments that are not related to the passage of age stages. If age-related crises in children are easily observed, then in an adult the time frame can shift; usually each stage is given 7-10 years, while one can pass almost without a trace, while the other will be obvious even to others. However, the content of the crisis at each age is universal; taking into account time shifts, for example, people 30 and 35 years old can be in the same crisis, solving approximately the same problems.
Crises of age-related development should be distinguished from personal biographical crises associated with such objective conditions as, for example, graduation from school, loss of relatives or property. Crises of age-related development are characterized by the fact that on the outside everything is normal for a person, but everything is bad on the inside. A person begins to provoke changes, sometimes destructive, in order to change his life and internal situation, but those around him may not understand him and consider the person’s problems far-fetched.
Age-related crises in psychology
Vygotsky also said that a perfectly adapted child does not develop further. An adult is literally immune from such stagnation - as soon as he has somehow become accustomed to life, a crisis arises that requires change. Then comes a period of fairly long calm, giving way again to a new crisis. If a crisis forces a person to develop, then what is development? More often it is understood as a kind of progress, improvement. However, there is a phenomenon of pathological development - regression. We are talking about development that brings changes of a higher order. Almost everyone goes through some crises safely, while a crisis, for example, mid-life, often puts a person at a dead end and turns him around in his development. The essence of the crisis is well conveyed by the Chinese character, which contains two meanings at once: danger and opportunity.
Psychologists have identified general age-related patterns of crises, which allows us not only to prepare for them in advance, but also to successfully go through each stage, fully mastering the tasks of each wonderful age. At literally every age stage, there is a mandatory need to make a decision, which is given preferentially by society. By solving problems, a person lives his life more prosperously. If a person does not find a solution, he has a certain number of problems, of a more acute nature, that need to be dealt with, otherwise this threatens not only with neurotic conditions, but also with unsettling life. Each stage has so-called normative crises, some of which, such as the crises of 20 and 25 years, are rather poorly described, while others, the crises of 30 and 40 years, are known to almost everyone. These crises owe such fame to their often unclear destructive power, when a person who is in apparent well-being suddenly begins to dramatically change his life, to commit reckless acts associated with the collapse of the earlier meanings on which he had hoped.
Age-related crises in children are clearly observable and require the attention of parents, since the failure of each crisis is layered on the next. Childhood crises are especially strongly imprinted on a person’s character and often set the direction of his entire life. Thus, a child without basic trust may find himself incapable of deep personal relationships as an adult. A person who has not felt independence in childhood does not have the opportunity to rely on personal strength, remains infantile and spends his whole life looking for a substitute for a parent in a spouse, superiors, or strives to dissolve weakly in a social group. A child who has not been taught hard work experiences problems with internal and external discipline as an adult. If you waste time and do not develop the child’s skills, he will then have a number of complexes and experience difficulties because of this, he will need many times more effort. A huge number of adults did not go through the teenage crisis, did not take full responsibility for their lives, their natural rebellion was muted, and now unresolved runs like a red thread through their entire lives. Even in a midlife crisis, childhood reminds us of itself, since the largest number of shadow contexts were formed in childhood.
In every crisis, a person needs to spend the proper time allotted to him, without trying to get around the sharp corners, to live the themes of the crisis in full. There are, however, gender differences in the experience of crises. This is especially noticeable in the midlife crisis, when men evaluate themselves by career achievements, financial security and other objective indicators, and women - by family well-being.
Age crises are also directly related to the sensitive topic of age, since it is widely believed that all good things can only be present in youth; this belief is fueled in every possible way by the media and often even thanks to the opposite sex. Significant external changes, when it is no longer possible to convince others and oneself of one’s own youth, raise a lot of psychological problems; some people, just at this stage, through their appearance, realize the need for internal personal changes. If a person tries to look young inappropriately for his age, this speaks of unsolved crises, rejection of his age, body and life in general.
Age crises and their characteristics
The first crisis stage, corresponding to the age from birth to one year, correlates with trust in the world around us. If a child does not have the opportunity from birth to be in the arms of loved ones, to receive attention and care at the right moment, even as an adult, he will have difficulty trusting the people around him. The reasons for painful caution towards others often lie precisely in those children's unmet needs that we tried to tell our parents about with our loud cry. Perhaps the parents were not there at all, which becomes a prerequisite for a basic mistrust of the world. Therefore, it is important that until the age of one year, there are close people nearby who can satisfy the child’s need at the first cry. This is not a whim, not pampering, but a necessity inherent in this age.
The second stage, which psychologists usually distinguish, is the age from 1 to 3 years. Then autonomy develops; the child often wants to do everything himself - it is important for him to make sure that he is capable of this. Often we encounter stubbornness that was not there before, rejection and rejection of the adult, and the child’s attempts to establish himself above the adult. These are natural moments for this period, you definitely need to go through it. Adults must set boundaries for the child, tell them what they can do, what they can’t do, and why. If there are no boundaries, a little tyrant grows up, who subsequently torments the whole family with his problems. It is also important to support the child and allow him to do things on his own. Also now the concept is being established, children are often interested in their genitals, and awareness of differences from the opposite sex comes. It is important not to pull the child down or shame him for his natural interest.
In the next period, from 3 to 6 years, the basics of hard work and love for everyday affairs are assigned. A child can already do almost all household work under the supervision of an adult himself, if at the same time the child is not given the opportunity to show his initiative - subsequently he will not get used to setting goals and achieving them. If a child wants to wash the floor, water the flowers, or try vacuuming, teach him. But this should be done not by prodding and orders, but by play. Role-playing games are becoming increasingly important; you can play with dolls, with book characters, even make figures yourself, for example, out of paper, or act out a scene that will be interesting to your child. Take your child to a puppet theater to watch the characters interact. The child receives information through his parents; the child’s development in a correct and harmonious manner depends on them.
The subsequent period is the period of circles, from 6 to 12 years. The child now needs to be loaded to the maximum with what he wants to do. You need to know that now his body remembers the experience well, and the child will retain all the skills mastered in a given period of time for the rest of his life. If he dances, he will dance beautifully all his life. It’s the same with singing and playing sports. Perhaps he will not become a champion, but he will be able to further develop his abilities at any period of his life in the future. When you have the opportunity to take your child to classes, do it, occupy as much time as possible with activities. Intellectual development is useful, because now the child receives basic information that will be useful to him later and will help him form his thinking.
The period of adolescence, which follows, is probably the most difficult, since most parents resort to psychologists precisely in connection with the difficulties of communicating with a teenage child. This is a period of self-identification; if a person does not go through it, then in the future he may remain limited in his potential. A growing person begins to think about who he is and what he brings to the world, what his image is. It is during adolescence that different subcultures are born, children begin to pierce their ears, change their appearance sometimes even to the point of self-destruction, and unusual hobbies may appear. Teenagers resort to interesting forms of clothing that attract attention, highlight or, conversely, reveal all the flaws. Experiments with appearance can be limitless; they are all tied to the child’s acceptance of his body, which changes significantly at this age. Whether a teenager likes it or doesn’t like it, each person’s problems are strictly individual, so it makes sense for parents to carefully talk about the complexes associated with changing his appearance.
Parents should carefully monitor the behavior of a teenager when they are sure that the chosen form of clothing does not suit the child - they should gently prompt him to do so, and also look at who the teenager is surrounded by, who is in the company, because what he takes from the world around him will play a dominant role in the future. It is also important that the teenager has before his eyes examples of worthy adults that he would like, since later he will be able to adopt their behavior, manners, and habits. If there is no such example, for example, a family consists of only a mother and son, he needs to be given the opportunity to communicate with relatives of the same sex so that he knows how a man should behave. It is important that the teenager finds his own style, his own image, how he wants to express himself to this world, what are his goals and plans. Now is the time for adults to discuss all this with their child. Even if the child does not seem to want to listen to you, he still probably listens to you, your opinion is important to him.
In the next period from 20 to 25 years, a person completely separates from his parents and begins an independent life, which is why this crisis is often more noticeable than others. This is a crisis of separation, however, there is also a countervailing desire for merger. At this stage, it is important to begin a close personal relationship with a person of the opposite sex. If there are no such relationships, it means the person did not go through the previous teenage period as he should, did not understand who he is, who he wants to have next to him. At this age, relationship issues are extremely relevant; it is important to learn to communicate with the opposite sex. Friendship and professional contacts are also important, as is the search for a new social circle, which a person already belongs to as an adult. Will he take responsibility for his personal steps? There will certainly be mistakes, it is important how the person will act - whether he will return under the parental wing or find a replacement for his parents in a partner, thereby regressing back to childhood, or whether he will become responsible for the decisions made with their consequences. The new development of this crisis is responsibility. The difficulty of this age is the still prevailing image of social acceptability, when a still very young person is expected to be successful in school, work, have deep relationships, look good, have many hobbies, be active, active. The conflict here is that to begin to please social desirability means to lose oneself, not to allow personal, individual potentials to be revealed, separation will not occur, a person will follow the well-worn road, trodden by the expectations of those around him, and will not take maximum responsibility for his life.
Social unacceptability at the stage described often indicates that the person is in contact with himself. Guys are better at this because society gives them more opportunities to do this. Resistance to authority, left over from adolescence, here goes beyond the family; instead of mom and dad, a person begins to resist, for example, the authorities. One of the scenarios for passing through this crisis is a predetermined fate, when the family has outlined and painted a person’s path in advance. Often this is a professional direction, but there may also be family life in conservative traditions. In this scenario, a person does not use the opportunity to separate from his parents, as if the crisis of 20 years has passed, deceiving him, however, the theme of personal self-determination and separation remains, returning to the person sometimes after 10-20 years, already being painful. An unsolved crisis is superimposed on the next one, and you will often have to choose a direction when you have a family and children, which is much more difficult. Protracted professional self-determination, when you have to change the field of work at the age of 30, starting with a new one, also turns out to be a difficult task.
A very fruitful period begins at the age of 25, when the opportunity comes to receive the benefits of life that he counted on as a teenager. Usually during this period you really want to quickly get a job, start a family, have children, or make a career. Will and desire are laid down from childhood; if this does not happen, life may turn out to be boring and unpromising. The crisis echoes the theme of when a person wonders what he can respect himself for. The theme of achievements and their collecting is at its peak here. By the age of 30, an assessment of the previous life and the ability to respect oneself occurs. It is interesting that at this stage it is more common to organize the external part of life, forming a tree of social connections, while introverts rely on their own personal resources and deep relationships in a limited circle. If there is a significant imbalance, when, for example, a person has been engaged in social contacts for a long time, succeeded at work, made a career, created a social circle and image in society - now he begins to think more about home comfort, children, family relationships.
On the contrary, if the first 10 years of adult life were devoted to the family, which is often the female scenario, when a girl got married, became a mother and a housewife, then this crisis requires leaving the nest into the outside world. To get through this crisis, a person needs to have a collection of achievements. Everyone has it, but not everyone is able to respect themselves, which often happens when focusing on shortcomings. Also at this stage there is an opportunity to work on yourself personally, to change your life to the one you like. See what you're missing. Perhaps this is a loved one, think about what he should be like, what kind of person you wanted to see next to you, and how much you yourself correspond to the image of the loved one you have in mind for yourself. If you are not completely satisfied with your job, you want to change your field of activity, but you have no idea how to do this - try to start with a hobby, a passion that you can transform into a permanent job. Also think about how you relax, what your vacation brings to you - good or bad. After all, rest takes up most of your personal time, and its lack has a negative impact on the quality of life; various distressing situations arise that would not exist if you had a good and complete rest. During this period, often a person already becomes a parent and wants to help children live a better life. Think about what foundations you will lay in them as you go through your own life, what you received in your childhood, what was missing, is there any trust in the world, and if not, what prevented it from forming.
The next midlife crisis has attracted the attention of not only psychologists, but also ordinary people. For most, in the middle of life everything is stabilized, but when a person suddenly begins to struggle for reasons that are incomprehensible to others, and sometimes even to himself, he finds himself in a confusing situation. The onset of a crisis is accompanied by a state of boredom, loss of interest in life, a person begins to make some external changes that do not lead to the desired relief, nothing changes inside. The primary change must be the internal change, which, if it occurs, may not entail external changes. Many films have been made about the mid-life crisis, when men more often have mistresses, and women become children, which does not change the situation. The successful passage of a crisis is not associated with external attempts at change, but with an internal absolute acceptance of life, which gives a wonderful, harmonious state of mind. At this stage, there is no longer a question of achievements and self-esteem, but only acceptance of oneself and life as they are. Acceptance does not mean that everything will stop - on the contrary, development will only become more intense, since a person stops the war within himself. Making peace with yourself frees up a lot of strength for a more productive life, and more and more new opportunities open up. A person asks questions about the mission of his life, and can still accomplish a lot by discovering his true meanings.
The crisis of 40 years initiates a spiritual search and poses global questions to which there are no clear answers. This conflict is associated with the psychological structure of the Shadow - those unacceptable contexts that a person endlessly represses, trying to lie even to himself. Growing children do not give the opportunity to a person who was younger than he is, demanding wisdom from the parent. The existentiality of this crisis is reinforced by the experience of the transience of time, when it is no longer possible to write drafts, you have to live purely, and the good news is that there is still an opportunity for this.
The crisis of 50-55 years again puts a person at a fork in the road; along one road he can go to wisdom, and along the other - to insanity. A person makes an internal choice: will he live or survive, what next? Society tells a person that he is often no longer in the trend; in various positions he has to give way to younger youth, including in the profession. Often here a person strives to be needed by others, goes away to completely take care of his grandchildren, or clings to work, afraid to fade into the background. However, a harmonious outcome from the crisis would be to let go of everything, inform yourself first that you have paid off all possible social debts, do not owe anything to anyone, and are now free to do what you want. For such an acceptance of life and desires, you need to go through all previous crises, because you will need material resources, resources of relationships and self-perception.
Features of age crises
What if a person does not note the passage of crises in his life, does it mean that they did not exist? Psychologists are convinced that a psychological crisis is as natural as changes in a person’s body with age. People with a low level of anxiety and inattention to themselves, when they push their troubles further away, may not realize that they are now going through a psychological crisis. Or a person does his best to hold back the experiences within himself, afraid to destroy his positive image in front of others, to show himself as a person with problems. Such non-living, ignoring the crisis subsequently results in the unification of all untraversed stages, like an avalanche. Needless to say, this is a difficult outcome, a huge psychological burden that a person is sometimes unable to cope with.
Another variant of the atypical course of crises is often observed in hypersensitive individuals who are open to change and personality transformation. They are prone to prevention, and when the first symptoms of an upcoming crisis appear, they try to immediately draw conclusions and adapt. Their crises are milder. However, such an anticipatory approach does not allow one to fully immerse oneself in the lesson that a crisis brings to a person.
Each crisis contains something that will help a person in the future period of life and provides support for going through subsequent crises. A person does not develop linearly, he develops in steps, and a crisis is precisely that moment of a breakthrough in development, after which a period of stabilization, a plateau, begins. Crises help the individual grow, we do not grow of our own free will, we don’t want to leave the state of balance on our own, and, it seems, there is no need. Therefore, the psyche involves our internal conflicts. Thanks to crises, a person, although unevenly, grows throughout his life.
