If you are wondering: “What to do if you don’t know what to do?”, it means that you either don’t know what to do, that is, you haven’t decided what kind of business you want to do in life, or you know what kind of business you want to do, but don’t know where to start.

If you belong to the first category, then welcome to sections: and. Having completed all the tasks in these sections, you will know exactly what you need to do in life. And you will find the job of your dreams. If the information in these sections is not enough for you, then you can familiarize yourself with the course.

If you belong to the second category, that is, you know what you want to do, but don’t know where to start, then this article was written especially for you. I wrote some techniques in the article -. But I think nothing bad will happen if I repeat myself a little in this article.

To be honest, I often ask myself: “What to do when you don’t know what to do?”. Sometimes it happens that you seem to know what you want, but there is NO way or plan to achieve the goal, and if there is a way or plan to achieve the goal, then there is NO OPPORTUNITY right away. For example, to achieve a goal there is not enough money, or you need to go to another city or country, or there is not enough knowledge, or..., or.... I think you understand perfectly well what I'm talking about, because we all face such a ridiculous situation.

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do? Break your head - no effective way, surfing the Internet is already closer, asking questions regularly is exactly what you need. Yes, that's right.

The second answer to the question of what to do if you don’t know what to do is to look for information in various sources: the Internet, seminars. Sometimes the answer is in an article or article. Just again, look for answers without fanaticism. The simplest and at the same time the hard way To find an answer to a question that interests you is to ask a person who knows what needs to be done to achieve such a result. In other words, you need to use someone else's experience.

If you want to open a cafe, but don’t know where to start, then you can ask your friend who is involved in this business. Sounds simple. And if there are no acquaintances who are involved in this business, then what? Find? YES!!! Now you understand why this method is complex and simple at the same time.

In my life, I have noticed that people are happy to share information and their experiences about something specific. People love to tell their success story. But it also happens that people do not want to share information even for money. Nobody needs competitors. So try to find someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve. Let him become your mentor.

What to do if you don’t know what to do?

Another category of people who wonder what to do if you don't know what to do- they simply found themselves in a dead-end or, in their opinion, hopeless situation. For example, they were fired from high paying job, when you have small children and an outstanding loan. Of course, the answer suggests itself. In such a situation, the first thing to do is to calm down. I know that this is very difficult, but under the influence of emotions the problem only gets worse. If I found myself in such a situation, I would look for new job and ask for help from relatives and friends.

Never be afraid to ask for help if you find yourself in hopeless situation. I understand perfectly well that you don’t want to look pathetic in the eyes of other people, and your pride does not allow you to call your friend and, for example, ask them to lend you a certain amount. But if you don’t ask for help, then you will continue to wonder - what to do when you don't know what to do?

Sometimes you just have to get through such situations. For example, a guy with whom you lived for a long time left you for a long time. Most likely, you consider it the only person, and can’t imagine your life without him. It doesn’t even occur to you that you might meet another guy with whom you will be much happier. Instead you think, . It is precisely at such moments that the girl does not know what to do and how to behave so that the guy will return. Time passes, attempts to return the guy were unsuccessful, and the girl slowly begins to forget him. As they say - out of sight, out of mind. And after a while she meets the guy of her dreams.

That is, it turns out that at the moment of separation she had no idea what to do. She thought that she was in a dead end situation, and after a while she was already making plans for the future with her new boyfriend. That is, sometimes it is better to let go of the situation, and then it will resolve itself.

The same example can be given in relation to business. When a business collapses, entrepreneurs, no matter how hard they try, cannot save it. They don't know what they need to do to save their business. And so, sleepless nights they think about how to correct the current situation, but cannot find an answer. As a result, the business collapses completely, and entrepreneurs, in their opinion, find themselves in a dead end situation. After letting go of the situation, after a while, bankrupt entrepreneurs find new and better ideas.

In short, if you don’t know what to do, just forget it and do something useful. For example, read a book. The authors of this book answer in more detail the question of what to do if you don’t know what to do.

People often find themselves in situations that seem hopeless to them. Problems at work or with a loved one, misunderstandings in relationships with relatives are just small part the most common situations that lead a person to depression. It is extremely easy to get into such situations, but not everyone can cope with them quickly. The main question the question is what to do in a situation when you don’t even know where to start.

Making a choice, let alone the right one, is not an easy task. Every day, a person, without thinking, makes a choice in situations that are familiar to him: choosing a suit for work, what coffee to drink in the morning, whether to go to the cinema in the evening or stay at home.

But the choice feels completely different when it concerns serious issues: whether to quit your job, whether to bring your loved one back, or whether to give up everything and move to another country. The problem is that a person in such situations is always overcome by doubts, he is afraid of making the wrong decision. And the longer he thinks, the more less likely that a decision will be made at all.

Psychologists assure that decisions of this kind should only be made in an extremely calm and comfortable home environment. The right time for this is in the evening, an hour or two before bedtime. Once you are comfortable, write down on a piece of paper the question that worries you first. Below, divide a piece of paper into two parts. On one part, indicate the advantages that will appear if you answer “YES” to the question; on the other part, indicate the disadvantages.

For example:

“If a loved one has left, is it worth bringing him back”

Let's say you answered yes to this question. Something in your life will change in positive side, and some things are the other way around. Write down in detail all the pros and cons, indicating each new thought a separate item. Then count the number of points in each part of the sheet.

It seems that the right decision should be made based on what is ultimately greater: pros or cons. But don't forget about intuition.

As intuition suggests

Intuition is the inner voice of every person that tells him right choice even in the most difficult life situations. True, most people do not trust their intuition, believing that they have practically no intuition.

Of course, intuition is present in every person, but in some it is developed to a greater extent, while in others it is less developed. This happens because a person either gets used to making rational (but not always desirable) decisions, or listens to others, but not to himself. The main question is how to learn to listen to yourself and make the right decisions, based on your inner hunch.

Psychologists advise: determine the fundamental pros and cons of the decision made, as described above, and try to visualize them. Close your eyes and imagine everything you will encounter if you decide, for example, to return your loved one.

Intuition, as you know, is expressed through sensations and feelings; you just need to listen and understand whether you are experiencing pleasant excitement or whether this decision is made more by the head, but not by the heart. There is no need to rush, think about the situation for as long as it takes, so that there is no further doubt about your internal premonitions.

Another way to make the right decision is to seek advice from other people. But the question always arises of how useful these tips are and whether they can be trusted.

It is known that from the outside, any problem seems either easier, or, conversely, much more difficult than what actually happened. And although the interlocutor will try to imagine himself in your place so that his advice is constructive, he will still rely only on personal experience, and the announced decision will reflect solely his character and behavior.

Of course, this does not mean that the advice of others is completely useless. Sometimes good advice help people overcome depression, achieve success and even find lost harmony. The help of friends and relatives is irreplaceable in cases when a person feels depressed, when he cannot find a way out of the situation alone.

The main thing is that there is a trusting relationship between people. You should also seek advice only from those who command respect. You should not arrange surveys and contact everyone you know if this is not necessary. Choose two or three people from your closest friends or relatives whose opinions would be useful to hear, and explain to them the essence of the problem. The answers received may not be identical, but they will certainly open up the problem from a new angle and provide food for thought.

Psychologists also claim that men's advice is often more useful than women's. If parents give advice, you should definitely listen to it, but you don’t need to follow it blindly, as is customary in many families. The fact is that parents are in pursuit of better life for children they do not see obvious facts, unlike other friends and relatives. Therefore, you should not refuse the advice of other people, especially if it concerns those you trust. But still make the decision yourself.

Problems at home and at work, lack of money or discord in the family are situations from which it is difficult to find a way out. And only you can do this. Try not to fall into deep depression, remember that life consists of both black and white stripes, and the phrase “time heals” is not just catchphrase, but a philosophy of life.

There are no hopeless situations. Try to look at the problem from different angles and evaluate it from a rational point of view. But don’t forget about intuition, which reflects your inner life goals and aspirations.

Everything seems to be fine with you: your job is normal, you have some kind of relationship, but for some reason you feel sad. Nothing happens, every day is like Groundhog Day. Why is this happening and what to do? An expert speaks.

Vita Kholmogorova

psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences

Stagnation is always a lack of movement, stagnation, loss vitality, incentives and guidelines. There can be many reasons for stagnation. Here are just a few of them.

On topic

For many years, starting from school and parental demands, your life was subject to the “Need” category, not the “Want” category. How often do we see families where parents send their children to clubs, choose friends, impose a profession based on own ideas about what fits, not from true desires child. "No matter how you feel, we know what's best for you." This is done under the banner of “We want good things for you.” A person turns into a mechanism, moving further and further away from his true feelings and needs.

Another reason why you may not be guided by your own feelings and, as a result, feel stagnant is the transfer of attention to external values ​​​​imposed by society or advertising. Often successful and accomplished people come to psychologists with the complaint: “I have achieved everything, but nothing makes me happy and I don’t want anything.” When a person initially faces false goals that correspond to imposed norms, but are not in tune with his true feelings and psychological needs, every step that brings him closer to them moves him away from peace and joy.

It also happens that anxious parents convey their own fears to their children. “You can’t be very happy, then trouble can come, a lot of joy - a lot of tears.” Thus, from childhood, the child is taught a prohibition on joy. The feelings of a child, and then an adult, are characterized by reduced amplitudes, life becomes colorless and functional.

However, the experience of stagnation and melancholy provokes other fears. The fear of being unsuccessful makes you live half-heartedly. Fear of the future provokes constant negative forecasts; a person lives in a utopian world, trying to avoid change. Fear of error prevents you from taking responsibility for own life. He goes with the flow, watching others move forward at the same time, often experiencing envy or regret about missed opportunities. Sometimes the reason for stagnation and melancholy is the phenomenon of deferred life, when a person associates the beginning of a “real”, fulfilling life with some circumstances. In reality, when these events occur, a person postpones this period even further. Such a life in the subjunctive mood is devoid of colors and bright emotions.

True perfectionists often experience a feeling of melancholy. The flip side of endless high expectations from oneself and life is a feeling of frustration, dissatisfaction and endless claims against oneself. Of course, in such a situation it is difficult to experience joy. And finally, common cause melancholy and dullness is banal fatigue. When internal resources are depleted, the body enters an energy-saving mode, and the first thing it begins to save on is emotions and feelings. A person goes to work, meets with friends, plays sports, but the taste for life, desires, motivation, energy and strength disappear.

No matter how different the reasons for the feeling of stagnation and melancholy may be, there is always we're talking about about losing contact with your feelings, your true needs and values. In a state of apathy and stagnation, it is common for a person to be in constant expectation that it will soon pass, you just need to wait. But, unfortunately, this is an illusion. Life is movement. And it needs to start exactly at the moment when a person admits to himself that his life is dull, monotonous and does not bring positive feelings.

On topic

First of all, it is important to answer the question: what will make me happy, or at least enliven my life and feelings a little? Learn to hear yourself and your desires. Start the day with the question: what can I do for myself today that could give me pleasure and joy? At the end of the day, summarize: what was good today? Throughout the day, return to positive feelings as often as possible. In the East they say: “What you pay attention to gets stronger.” If your Groundhog Day was preceded by a period of tension and stress, allow yourself to rest. Even if you can’t go on vacation, add everything to your life that helps restore resources. Vitamins, healthy eating, massage, walks, psychologist, floating, yoga - the main thing is that it is pleasant.

It is equally important to reconsider your goals and identify near and far ones. Without a clear goal there is no forward movement. Our goals depend on our values. Therefore, think about what is valuable and meaningful to you, understand what goals would bring you a sense of self-realization, joy and fill every day with a sense of meaning.

Clear your life of aggravating factors. Toxic relationships, habits that have not brought joy for a long time, meaningless hours on social networks... Try something new. Sign up for interesting lectures, take speech technique courses, learn to dance, go to gastronomic master classes, go to some country museum for the weekend, go on an excursion. The more impressions and communication with new people there are, the faster the feeling will pass“Groundhog Day” and stagnation.

The main thing is to remember that every minute we are faced with a choice, we are free in it, it depends only on us. And the choice is life, joy and moving forward.

Ecology of life. Psychology: Sometimes events occur, in the process or as a result of which we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t know...

When everything goes in the way that is familiar to us, in most cases we know without any problems what to do, how and when to do it.

But this does not always happen; sometimes events occur, in the process or as a result of which we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t know what to do, but something needs to be done.

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Today I will answer this question, the answer is actually simple. Efficiency in general is very often associated with simplicity and obviousness, which are lost in haste and panic of the unexpected. And most importantly - helping yourself is accessible to everyone.

So, the first and main rule, you need to clearly understand and follow it:when you don’t know what to do, first of all do what you know(at a comfortable pace and rhythm, remembering to rest). Complex, new or unfamiliar actions, as well as following impulses in important or difficult situations (issues) - most often lead to mistakes and worsening the situation + doing what you know helps with regaining feelings of control and security that usually disappear in difficult situations situations.

Second rule: learn to plan actions. Highlight the goal, break the goal into tasks (preferably in writing). The plan in its general form should be as simple and understandable as possible; the more complex (more global) the plan, the higher the likelihood of errors, since there are too many uncontrollable variables, as well as the possibility of forgetting or missing something.

Third rule: wait for the results of the actions according to plan. Even if the plan is of high quality and fully implemented, it takes time for the result to appear; difficult situations, as a rule, are not immediately and radically resolved. Therefore, after each step (action) according to the plan, stop (pause) to see and realize the result.

Rule four:take better care of yourself.Oddly enough, but - we are, more often than not, our own worst critics and worst enemies. We can give chances and opportunities to other people, often without reason, but we don’t want to give ourselves the slightest indulgence or the right to make mistakes (weakness, procrastination).

But we are – ours main resource solutions to situations, so you need to take care of yourself, give yourself chances - always!

Rule five: ask for help and accept help. Doing everything yourself, no matter what, demonstratively not asking for or accepting help - very often this is what prevents you from coping with the situation faster and more efficiently. But in most cases, there are people nearby who are ready to help, you just need to ask (they don’t read minds) and don’t refuse when help is offered. If in doubt, see rule four.

Following these seemingly simple rules, at a minimum, will not hurt, and at maximum, they can really help and significantly facilitate the way out of an unforeseen difficult situation. published . If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .

"Find yourself without searching" .

Hello darling

I often write and speak about purpose and how to find yourself. I get a lot positive feedback and thanks about ours and about . But once I received a letter that I constantly remember.

One beautiful girl wrote that she could not answer 90% of the questions in the workbook. And this is not a test of knowledge in trigonometry, this is a way to remember what I like, what I love, how it feels to be myself.

That's why great solution will study your body. How? For example like this:

• Yoga. It’s just important to choose a good instructor. I wrote how to do this. A good instructor will always teach you how to feel how during an asana some muscles are completely relaxed, others tense, and some stretch.
• If yoga is not suitable for some reason, you can choose Pilates or stretching. Slow training, when it is important not to rush, but to carefully monitor yourself, stretch, work with your boundaries, breathe in the place where the pain awakens, let go of this pain while exhaling slowly.
• Everyday attention to the body. You don't have to go to the gym to learn to understand yourself. Better yet, combine these points. Just constantly pay attention to your body throughout the day: maybe you feel a tightness or pain somewhere, coldness in your feet or heat in your cheeks. Where are the sensations? Do you like them or not so much? If not, what can you do to make you feel more comfortable: wear warm socks, drink hot tea, stretch, or just lie down for 5 minutes? Every day. Constantly.

WHAT WRITING PRACTICES CAN HELP:

The purpose of written practices is also aimed at remembering who I am, through understanding what I like and what I don’t, what I’m experiencing now and whether I want to prolong it.

Buy a beautiful notebook and start writing in it every day. For example, you can write down answers to such seemingly simple questions:

• What ?;
• the most beautiful and kindest thought of the day;
• three things that lifted my spirits;
• That's what got on my nerves;
• three things that made me nervous today;
• how satisfied I am with life;
• what color is my mood?

I can also offer several ready-made results:

The topic of this post is not at all simple. And what is described above are the conclusions that I was able to draw on my path of development and understanding of myself. Although I believe there is much more to come, and over time I will be able to write another post with new insights and recommendations.

And of course, I really want to get feedback from you in order to better understand this interesting question. Do you understand yourself and your desires? What helps you stay connected with yourself?

I will be glad if the post was useful. If so, share it on social networks;)

I wish each of us to feel our strong inner core, which will not allow us to cheat on ourselves.

With wishes of happiness,

This post is one of the most popular. What can I say, this is the most frequently asked question I'm having consultations. More than 50 thousand read the post, and how many of these thousands began to do and change something?

I know that sometimes we need someone to lend a helping hand, or even better, to hug and support us on our way to ourselves. This is why I created a marathon "Find yourself without searching" the second stream of which starts on February 25, 2019. Read more about it.

And if you want to always stay in touch, subscribe to updates in or at. I will be very glad to our close communication;)

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