Life in a golden cage - the wife of a rich husband.

Once upon a time, in that - past life I did not take seriously the stories about the difficulties and problems of the wives of rich husbands, about life in a golden cage. And, ironically, I received them - a whole “bouquet”...

Now I often remember half-joking conversations with my best friend, my desk neighbor Zhenya. “I absolutely don’t know what to do! - she grabbed her head before the final exams. “Science is not easy, I can’t do anything with my hands...”

I answered her with the confidence of an oracle: best profession for you - to marry a millionaire! Zhenya put forward this complete package counter arguments: what if he gets caught greedy, will he languish over his gold and give out pennies for heels? What if he, taking advantage of his position as “in charge,” begins to push me around? What if it’s unpleasant for me to be with him, hmm?..

“Well, you’re strange, auntie! - I was sincerely perplexed. - I’m not chasing you for some nasty Gobsek! We need to find someone who has love and is supported by capital, that’s it!” Life in a golden cage - the wife of a rich husband.

Zhenya, as it turned out, underestimated her personal capabilities. She famously learned English, won a Green Card - and now she already has her own souvenir shop on Some Street... And me? I have been married to a millionaire for five years.

Life in a golden cage - the wife of a rich husband

Shared delusion

Our meeting was funny and a little ridiculous - because it was too similar to the plot of some American romantic comedy. One day I was returning home late from a visit and managed to get lost in an unfamiliar area.

And I didn’t even have a cell phone then. Everything around is completely empty. And then I see: some huge jeep with tinted windows is chasing me, blinking, honking. I walked away from him along the sidewalks, along the flowerbeds... Finally, a man who jumped out of the car grabbed me by the shoulders and... handed me the documents. “Don’t go crazy,” he shook me, “I’m not a maniac.

I've been wandering around this damn area for an hour now, all the houses here are the same, like in a nightmare. And the navigator seems to be buggy. Can’t you ask for directions anymore?” Then he had to solder me off with mineral water for a long time: I laughed and couldn’t stop...

To be honest, I still haven’t really figured out exactly what Roman does. And then even more so. I don’t understand anything about real estate transactions and can’t tell the difference between a concern and a holding. I'm more interested in living things. At least it's organic.

I am a biochemist by profession. “This is probably a very dangerous business,” a new acquaintance sympathized as we toured the “labyrinth” together, “especially for such a pretty girl!”

I nodded sleepily and smiled, floating in the waves of jazz from the stereo system... The salon smelled of some completely different life. It seemed to me that all this was about to fall apart, like Cinderella’s ballroom equipment from the striking of the clock. But when we got out and my “fairy” took me home, he firmly stated in parting: “Our miraculous salvation must be noted!” And he handed over his business card.

I decided to respond and scribbled my home phone number with a ballpoint pen on a piece of notebook paper. At the time of our meetings (he didn’t ask, he insisted: “We’ll have lunch there!”, “I’ll show you an amazing place!”), I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t look around in search of a more luxurious young lady.

Over time, it seems, it got there. There were plenty of young ladies, I was just, almost the only person, which he was not afraid of. That is, he was not afraid of a trick, a trick, or a “set-up.” I spoke little, was a grateful listener and sincerely enjoyed him. It never occurred to me that the “prince” could propose to me. Most likely, that's why he did it...

Life in a golden cage according to the stages of relationships

I waited for his calls with my beating heart - and had no doubt that this was love. Roman was always affectionate and attentive - and I became convinced that this is the heartfelt feeling of reserved business men.

He decided everything himself, directing me where he saw fit - and I accordingly swam along the flow he set. I told myself that I would resist if I wanted to. And so, since there is no resistance, it means everything is going as it should!

Moreover, the way my own attitude to him, I noticed only after the fact. At first, I was childishly proud that such a cool gentleman was seriously interested in me. This is how a novice fisherman can rejoice, who was given a fishing rod - and he immediately pulled out a pound pike.

But by the time Roman presented me with a white gold ring with an inflorescence of small diamonds (that is, this proposal was also not a question of “yes” or “no,” but a statement of fact), I was already seriously in love. Always confident, strong - and at the same time neat and calm, he admired me more and more.

Difficulties began when I moved to the “nest” purchased by my husband (he had at least one more apartment in the city, which he called his “office” - and often stayed there to “work” and “think”). Moreover, difficulties are exactly the kind that, when I encountered them in some talk show or melodrama, I winced: “Marivanna, I would like your problems!” I asked and I received.

What are the ex-Cinderellas complaining about? “I lack self-realization, and he ties me to the house”? “I feel dependent, and he doesn’t hide the fact that he looks down on me”? I “rolled back” this entire “mandatory program,” to use sports language.

Roman insisted on the scheme he learned from Gogol: “he got married precisely so that, freeing himself from petty worries, he could give everything to his fatherland.” My job is to command the cleaning ladies and give instructions to the delivery service. And my socially useful work is of no use.

He said: “infinitesimal efficiency” - and gave a lot of reasonable arguments. I was unable to convincingly counter-argument, and I calmed down, beginning to believe that science and medicine would survive without me, and I - without them.

I tried to take a creative approach to household chores and at the same time find something for my soul: I took up floriculture. But Roma promptly stopped my aesthetic impulses, limiting them to the loggia.

And he politely but firmly asked that significant changes in the house, including changing the curtains, not be made without his consent. Now I began to feel like a caught fish: going out onto the loggia, I wanted to convulsively gasp for air.

Living in a golden cage is a habit as a substitute for happiness

In my youth, I did not complain about timidity and softness, but in the case of my husband, I realized that my character was actually a frivolous weakling. I didn’t know how to convince, prove, argue. Even “gently push” or outwit. From the height of his height, he kissed me on the top of the head - and did everything his way.

So you “would resist if I wanted to”! He can always see better, even which style suits me, which juice is healthier. The charm dissipated, gradually being replaced by irritation. Having closely talked with Roman, I began to think that a nine-hour intense working day would be better - I would be less tired in my soul...

I tried to act in the style of the stone that the scythe found. According to his plan, which he kindly introduced me to, the two of us were supposed to go to some kind of presentation in the evening, he would pick me up at such and such a time, the dress code would be such and such.

I left him a note that I have own plans, I put my phone next to her and went across the city to see a friend from the institute. By tram! Forests and fields began right behind her house. We lay absolutely luxuriously on the grass with a bottle of Kadarka, fed the squirrels, questioned the cuckoos and dangled our legs in the river...

There was a scandal in the evening. I recognized my husband from another side - as a thunderer and lightning thrower. “The habits of a first-grader! Do you know what they call a person who can't be trusted? Should I open the dictionary?!” I was sentenced to the punishment of “confinement” of my favorite jewelry. Yes, it really is like being with a child!..

Everything was boiling inside me, but I could not scream back at him, as if I had been tightly covered with a heavy lid. I wanted to just silently turn around and leave... But where?

I haven’t spoken to my parents for several years; my few school and college friends somehow gradually “dissolved” during my marriage.

Someone left, someone was dealing with their own family problems (like the friend with whom I spent the evening and who was crowded into a communal apartment with a bunch of relatives), someone simply disappeared in an unknown direction. Now I understand that people were uncomfortable in the company of me and Roma. Of course, I couldn’t call his social circle friends.

The next day I thought long and painfully, weighing all the pros and cons. And I felt that I simply did not have the strength to make radical changes. I realized that I was stuck in several types of addiction at once. Firstly, I, of course, twitch and squirm in timid attempts to show independence - and yet I am comfortable that everything important issues I don't decide.

That I can answer any complaint: “I don’t know, it’s about my husband.” Secondly, I am thoroughly accustomed to comfortable living conditions. I remembered the corner that I rented from the old granny before I met Roma. I moved there as soon as I started earning my first independent money: I had long lacked the moral strength to live with my father’s daily drinking bouts and my mother’s harsh sermons - according to the views of her sect, I should have burned in hell... Brrr!

It is equally unpleasant to remember the parental home, always seething with quarrels, where no one needed anyone, and the miserable rented housing. Now it’s hard for me to imagine how you can do without an air conditioner in the summer (once it malfunctioned, so I almost went crazy during the day until they fixed it) - but what about the peeled Soviet wallpaper and leaking pipes?!

Will I be able to have breakfast squash caviar after shrimp and avocado salads? It is one thing to live in poverty from the very beginning, quite another to fall into it from abundance. And in general, changes are scary when life flows smoothly and steadily. Yes, “the habit was given to us from above”...

Life in a golden cage - freedom is impossible

I still didn’t fold my arms. Saying to yourself: “So you will ruin yourself as a person - do you need this?!” I tried to somehow work on myself. I decided to read more and learn new things. I started looking at sites like “work for you”.

And I even went to one interview. The salary they offered was small, but I really liked the people. “Well... how?” - the girl, the office manager, asked with sincere excitement when I left the boss’s office. This lively participation touched me. I felt it was time.

Free yourself. Break up with him. Start making a career. And in general new life. Such short phrases I repeated to myself like mantras when returning home from an interview. Now is the time. I feel strong. The bright sun is shining and the snow glistens merrily. I need to tell him. Right today. It will be easier further, the main thing is not to give up before the first step...

Taking a step down the icy stairs, I tripped and thundered down. Something suddenly burned and everything around went dark.

Returning to reality, I thought sluggishly, as if in a dream. Some two unfamiliar young guys were fussing around me. They asked me where it hurt, whether I could move, they felt my leg. My leg hurt wildly and didn’t want to move.

They argued heatedly. “Do you remember much about first aid?!” Don’t you dare fix anything yourself!” They were fussing. We were looking for a board for a tire. They called an ambulance... All this time I felt like I was somewhere in the wrong place. I only thought of calling my husband from the hospital. “It’s in your style,” he noted dryly, “I’ll come now.”

I won’t retell all my hospital torments. Roman, of course, quickly transported me from the emergency room to some good, as he puts it, hospital - and still, all my fractures (I managed to “break” in several places in one fell swoop) healed slowly and incorrectly.

For a very long, endlessly long time, I lay there, studying the patterns of cracks on the ceiling. Then they started teaching me to walk. Doing this without a crutch seemed completely impossible.

When the massage therapist began to knead and twist me (with a sadistic intonation, saying: “Now we’ll work on it!”), I tried in horror to crawl away from him in his arms: it was so painful... As a result, I received a second group disability.

And thus she became doubly dependent on the one from whom she had been planning to disassociate herself for so long while still healthy.

During this time, our relationship with Roman was reduced to some completely lifeless “tick”. So I understand that he is tired of me, and he himself no longer understands why he “picked” me then. But as an honest person, he cannot expose a lame one...

Yes, my husband did not leave me to my fate. He feeds and drinks, pays for treatment. But I feel his indifference - already of such strength that I seem to myself at most indoor flower which is watered once a day. The novel lives its own life. Almost all the time, if he does not go somewhere “on business,” he spends in another apartment. He communicates with me in two words: “Hello” and “Uh-huh.”

He’s clearly dating some young ladies, judging by the playful chirps from his phone, which can be heard every time he comes in... And he settled some distant relative of his with me. He killed two birds with one stone: he provided a home for my poor aunt, and he didn’t leave me, who was sick, without help and alone. In general, life is normal and organized. I want to howl...

Life in a golden cage - do I have the right?

One day my phone flashed unfamiliar numbers. “You gave me your number...” someone confused said, stuttering. “I remember how you were seriously injured then... I’m worried... How is your health?” This was one of my “saviors”. Wow, I didn’t remember at all that I gave him anything!..

But the attention was so nice! During my illness, my loneliness intensified even more: guests dropped in on me no more than once a month, averted their eyes and tried their best to talk about trifles, so as not to step on my toes, reminding me of my problem.

But “in this guy’s confused explanations I didn’t feel anything unpleasant or awkward at all!” I got emotional, complained loudly and invited the guy to come in. Without any such bad thought. Moreover, Romanov’s aunt is always present...

Lesha brought flowers. Ordinary small fluffy chrysanthemums. And then I realized that this is exactly what I haven’t seen all these five years with diamonds and air conditioners... “Are you sure you live here? - the guest was surprised. “The atmosphere here doesn’t look like you at all!..” The remark was, as they say, off the mark...

...He doesn’t give up hope that I will say “yes” to him. Because I am firmly convinced that without love and understanding you can wither away in the most “comfortable environment”, and with it no illnesses or deprivations are scary. “How do you imagine our life, Leshenka?” - “Yes, wonderful! In any case, equal... Why are you shaking your head? Are you afraid of difficulties? But they’re not so scary when you fight them together!”

Yes, the lovers' speeches are so fiery - it seems they can turn the whole world upside down with one word! “Why would I, young and healthy, and such a disabled person, ruin his life?” “What if he soon gets tired of the difficulties with me and finds another - how will I survive this?” »

But how are we going to fight these very circumstances - he earns little, I don’t even know how to earn money now, and medications and procedures eat up so much money...” In the morning I wake up - and! I immediately want to fall asleep again in order to get to those places where I don’t need to fight anything, run away from anything, decide anything...

Life in a golden cage - A practicing psychologist says:

“What should I do?” - asks a person when life confronts him with a choice. I would like someone to tell me, to direct me, like before a stone at a crossroads, which direction will be safer. And yet no one can make this choice for the one who finds himself in front of him. Because guarantees and certainty in life situations doesn't happen.

And someone else’s decision will not help you listen to yourself, feeling all the pros and cons of your own situation. A dependent state (primarily a psychologically dependent one) really weakens a person, his capabilities, his ability to realize himself.

Therefore, the desire to break up with him is natural in any person who has not yet turned into a “free app” to someone or something else. But when escaping from one addiction, it is important not to fall into another. After all, if the old attitude towards life remains (“I was chosen”, “they decide for me”, “they help me”) - where is the guarantee that the same difficulties will not begin in the new “scenery”?

To free yourself from other people’s pressure, you need, first of all, to develop in yourself the readiness to make decisions on your own, take certain steps, and take responsibility for them. full responsibility, say a clear “yes” and “no” to what you like - and what is unacceptable to you.

Before learning the science of harmonious togetherness, everyone has to learn to communicate with themselves.

Life in a golden cage is a woman's story.

2015, . All rights reserved.

I'm 25, I grew up in an ordinary intelligent family: my mother is a teacher, my father is an engineer. She was always eccentric, cheerful, dropped out of one university, then entered and still graduated from the second. At 22, I met a man much older than me at a disco. Well, 20 years difference, in general. Divorced, have children, have not lived together for a long time. At first it was just beautiful courtship on his part and the usual feminine “let it be” on mine. Then he began to call more often, to pick me up from the university, and very soon I moved in with him.

We have been living together for three years. We have a special “set of rules”: I don’t work, I stay at home, I go to any beauty salons, I communicate with whoever I want and I greet his guests with a smile and joy if he doesn’t come alone. He pays for my clothes, cosmetics, and other needs in full. We travel together, eat in restaurants, thanks to him I met people with whom I would never have had the chance to communicate in normal life. It seems to live - I don’t want what else is needed. This is how it was in the first year: I constantly had fun, did not deny myself anything, and lived like a princess.

Now everything is different. I'm almost 26, I want a family and children. I tried to start a conversation about it, but my man said something like: “I already have children, two of my own and you are the third, that’s enough for now.” My relationships with my friends have completely deteriorated. Many of them already live with their husbands, have children, survive from penny to penny and openly say that I am a kept woman, a lazy person and that we are not on the same path. I know that they are simply jealous of me, and I can’t do anything about it. In general, I rarely communicate with any of my circle of acquaintances: the hairdresser and my gym partner are all my friends. All the people with whom I spend a lot of time are his colleagues, classmates, partners, friends and relatives. At first he told me not to go to friends, to devote time only to him. And now there is no one left, there is nowhere to go. My parents are very delicate people, and yet my mother began to say more and more often that my man did not love me and was simply taking advantage of me. Moreover, on the one hand, she really likes that her daughter is wealthy, on the other hand, she cries and asks to leave him. I used to be sure that we loved each other. Now I doubt whether he needs me. And I don’t understand how I feel towards him myself. Love? Habit? Respect? Reluctance to live on your own?

I tried to get a job and went to two interviews. The salary is miserable, the daily office work is exhausting and useless. Go to work just to prove to the world that I’m not stupid and can earn money? Don't want. Now I'm trying to find myself, do some kind of creativity. I don't know if I'm anything without my man. I don't know if there is any future waiting for us.

Finally, I want to say that my life is not such a fairy tale. Okay, let's say I'm a kept woman. However, firstly, a kept woman is not a prostitute. I know that we had feelings, at least at the very beginning. Secondly, I invest a lot in myself, I work harder than others: I have to look my best, without makeup too, I have to stand out in some way, speak a foreign language (almost all of his friends and partners are foreigners), always be keep abreast of events, be an interesting conversationalist. I have perfect manners, good colloquial speech, there are no pimples or PMS, I play the piano. I'm just confused and entered a protracted phase of transition and don't know where to move next. One of my friends from the gym, a glamorous girl who has been living with “daddy” for seven years, said that I’m crazy about fat, everything in life suits her. I just understand that I’m stuck somewhere on the border: I can’t be a beautiful doll who is only interested in money. But also to live, love and create an ordinary family It doesn't work either.

Angelica

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Abundance, laziness and voluptuousness. Naked girls by the pool, belly dancing, entertaining their master... This is the kind of association that Europeans form when they hear the word harem. However, the reality looks different...

The name "harem" comes from the Arabic word "harim" - separated, forbidden. This is a closed and guarded residential part of a palace or house in which the wives of a high-ranking eastern statesman lived. Women were usually under the care of the first wife or eunuchs. The first wife had the right to share the title of the owner of the harem.

The head of the Sultan's harem was the padishah's mother, "valide sultan", and she selected all the women for her son. It was not difficult to get into the harem, but only a few managed to achieve recognition there and really bask in luxury.

Officially, the future depended on beauty and talent, but this was only visible side question. In fact, everything depended on cunning and thoughtfulness. Only the smartest became the first wives of the Sultan and his vassals, and achieved high positions in the harem.

The rest lived there until old age, immersed in everyday affairs, serving the entire harem. Sometimes these women have never even seen their husband up close. This is not surprising, because in those distant times several thousand women were kept in a harem.

The cruelties of harem life

The harem, like a state in some way, had its own strict laws and hierarchies. Thus, in a Turkish harem, the Sultan could at any moment become infatuated with a new beautiful concubine and make her his legal wife, and then he ordered the execution of old wives so as not to support those he did not need...

The methods of destruction were not the simplest: the annoying wife, or concubine, was put alive in a leather bag and thrown there wild cat or a poisonous snake, they tied a bag and lowered it along a special stone chute with a tied stone into the waters of the Bosphorus. Those who were guilty were considered lucky if they knew in advance that they would simply be quickly strangled with a silk cord.”

Harem story

The first written mentions of the harem date back to the 15th century and tell about the way of life of the harem in the Ottoman Empire.

At first, only slaves were kept in the harem, and the daughters of Christian rulers from neighboring countries were taken as wives. This tradition changed after Bayezid II (1481-1512), when the sultans began to select wives from the inhabitants of the harem.

When Sultan Mehmed II the Conqueror (1451-1481) took Constantinople in 1453, he decorated the city with beautiful buildings. On the current Bayezid Square, he built a palace modeled on the palaces that existed in the former capitals of Bursa and Edirne.

This palace was used for some time, but soon it became small, and in 1472-1478. The vast Topkapi Palace was built, which over time turned into a gigantic complex of buildings. State affairs were decided here, and here the Sultan appeared before his subjects when he marched to the mosque.

The old palace was used as a harem, but Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent (1520-1566) organized the Sarai dukhteran (“Palace of Women”) in his new residence.

In 1587, during the reign of Murad III (1574-1595), the harem was completely moved to Topkapi Palace. Unfortunately, the harem building burned down during a fire in 1665, then it was restored again, but the Istanbul earthquake of 1776 finally destroyed this unique architectural structure.

The harem was rebuilt and existed until Mahmud II (1808-1839). Later, the harem lost its former charm, unable to withstand competition with the palaces (the so-called “beautiful villas”) on the Bosphorus.

Hierarchy in a harem

Of course, the main characters of the harem were the sultans themselves. After them came Valide (mother of the Sultan). When her son ascended the throne, the Valide, accompanied by a magnificent procession, moved from the old palace to the new one and settled in special chambers. Following the valide were the Kadyn-effendi - the wives of the Sultan.

Without a doubt, the most colorful inhabitants of the harem were the jariye (slaves). In addition, a special class of servants was formed - harem-agalars (eunuchs), responsible for security. Dar-us-saadet agasy (chief of harem security) was third in rank after Sadrazam (grand vizier) and Sheikh-ul-Islam (head of the Islamic hierarchy).

Slaves

Caucasian princes sent their daughters to the Ottoman harem in the hope that they would become the sultan's chosen ones. They even sang a lullaby to them: “You will become the wife of the Sultan and be strewn with diamonds.” Slaves were bought at the age of 5-7 years and raised until they were fully physically developed.

As they grew up, they were taught music, etiquette, and the art of pleasing a man. IN adolescence the girl was previously shown in the palace. If she was found physical defects, bad manners or some other shortcoming, her price fell, and her father received less money than he expected.

The girls' parents had to sign documents indicating that they had sold their daughter and no longer had any rights to her.

The slaves whom the Sultan was most likely to choose as his wives had to study very carefully. Those who converted to Islam learned to read the Koran and performed prayers together or separately.

Having received the status of a wife, they built mosques and founded charitable institutions, as stipulated Muslim traditions. The surviving letters of the Sultan's wives testify to their extensive knowledge.

Along with all the difficulties, the slaves received a daily allowance, the amount of which changed with each new Sultan. They were given money and gifts on the occasion of weddings, festivals and birthdays. The slaves were well cared for, but the Sultan severely punished those who deviated from the established rules.

After nine years, a slave who was not elected by the Sultan had the right to leave the harem. The Sultan gave her a dowry, a house and helped her find a husband. The slave received a document signed by the Sultan confirming her status as a free person. It is known that some voluptuous concubines made love with each other or with eunuchs, despite the fact that they were castrated.

The eunuchs had many similar adventures. Some of the slaves, having received their freedom and got married, after some time divorced their husbands, justifying themselves as follows: “I’m used to getting more pleasure from communicating with black servants”...

Eunuchs

All eunuchs were brought from African countries, that is, they were blacks. And this was the Sultan’s simple calculation. After all, it was so easy to find the guilty woman - if children were born from sinful behavior with a eunuch, they were black. But this was very rare, because all eunuchs, as mentioned above, were castrated.

Terrible Roxalana

Due to the subtleties of politics, until the 16th century, only Russian, Ukrainian, Georgian, and Croatian girls could be found in the harem. Orkhan Gazi, who ruled in the fifteenth century, married the daughter of Emperor Constantine, Princess Caroline, Sultan Bayazit took one of the Byzantine princesses as his wife. But the most famous wife of the padishah in the entire history of the harem was Khyurem Sultan - Ukrainian Roksolana. She was the wife of Suleiman the Magnificent for forty years.

Daughter of the Ukrainian priest Gavrila Lisovsky Nastya Crimean Tatars kidnapped during one of the raids on the eve of her own wedding. Struck by her beauty, the Tatars sent the girl to Istanbul, to one of the largest slave markets in the Muslim East.

Once in the palace, Nastya learned to speak Turkish and converted to Islam. In the palace she was given a new name Roksolana. The padishah was young, he appreciated feminine beauty. The cunning Ukrainian woman kindled a furious passion in the Sultan and swore that she would become the legitimate wife of the padishah. Through intrigue, skillful seduction, bribes to eunuchs and oaths, Roxalana achieved her goal.

Having become the wife of the padishah, trying to strengthen her position, she gave birth to three sons to Sultan Suleiman. According to the laws of faith, the padishah could have four legal wives. Children from the first wife became heirs to the throne. The first-born took the throne, and the rest of the contenders for power were destroyed.

The children of the padishah from his first wife, naturally, became mortal enemies of Roksolana, who secretly informed the ruler about " terrible conspiracy". Suleiman gave the order to kill his children from his first wife.

Later, Roksolana poisoned her mother-in-law, who was unhappy with her Ukrainian daughter-in-law, and also ordered a search throughout the country for all the other sons of Suleiman, who were then secretly killed.”

Modern harems

The last harem was closed in 1909, after the abdication of Abdul Hamid II. The Sultan was expelled from Topkapi Palace, which was turned into a museum.

There are no more harems in modern Turkey. However, the Turks add, smiling, only according to official data. In rural areas in the southeast of the country, polygamy still exists.

The owners of modern harems are rich people: owners of carpet workshops, successful farmers, factory owners who can adequately support several wives: feed them all, clothe them, put them on shoes and provide a roof over their heads.

Girls are still forced into marriage. Having abandoned the dolls, hastily tied the national Turkish scarf - a symbol married woman, twelve-year-old girls go to the house of an elderly husband.

Many little girls were married off so early because of poverty and many children in the family, and the inability to feed...

Today, despite Western pressure, Islam, as before, allows polygamy.

In many Arab countries officially allowed to have up to 4 wives. But not every man can pull off such a family. After all, all wives must be provided with equal conditions, apartments, cars, support children, again...

Thus, one of the relatively favorable countries for living in a harem is United Arab Emirates. They have strict laws regarding the financial support of their wives and their children. However, not everything is so simple.

Along with luxury, it is very difficult for a woman to achieve at least some respect for herself; she, like many centuries ago, remains “the silent shadow of her husband.”

Within the family there are cruel laws that are incomprehensible to the European world: violence, for cheating on a wife - death penalty, for resistance to the will of the husband, divorce, and blackmail - children (the children are usually taken by the husband, without the right to see the mother) and much more...

As they say: “the East is a delicate matter”... We Europeans will probably never understand it!

Hugh Hefner with his girlfriends Bridget Marquardt, Holly Maddison and Kendra Wilkinson in 2008

How Oh! already reported, the other day Hefner proposed to his 24-year-old lover Crystal Harris and gave her wedding ring. Hefner's playboy image helped make the Playboy brand what it is, and news of his impending marriage to a woman old enough to be his great-granddaughter will help him maintain his image as a loving old rogue who still has some gunpowder in his flask. This is what attracts celebrities to his parties at the iconic Los Angeles mansion. Entertainment includes a playhouse with two bedrooms, which, in addition to a bed and a mirrored ceiling, have only a telephone. Actors Charlie Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio and Colin Farrell were among those who enjoyed the joys of life in Grandfather Hugh's house, according to the memoirs of one of the former blonde inhabitants of Hefner's harem, Isabella St. James. The stars only had to snap their fingers, and any of the “bunnies” was ready to serve them, St. James recalls.

The legendary Playboy mansion

So what's really going on behind the mansion's shiny façade? Judging by the recollections of former “bunnies”, this dirty world, in which girls feel that they are no better than ordinary prostitutes. They receive pocket money from an 80-year-old crazy old man who also pays for their plastic surgery to make them look like his ideal and who is forced to take huge amounts of Viagra to endure sex with them.

One of the former girlfriends of the elderly founder of the Playboy empire, Isabella St. Jayes, in her book “Bunny Stories. My two years in the Playboy mansion" described the order in Hefner's house

Hefner's portrait of St. James in his book Bunny Stories. My Two Years at the Playboy Mansion,” is extremely hard-hitting. The pretty blonde with a law degree met the living legend when she was 26 years old in a Hollywood nightclub in 2002. Soon he invited her to move in with him and live in his house with his seven other official girlfriends. Hefner at that time preferred to have from three to 15 such girlfriends at a time. One of the girls became the “beloved wife,” that is, girl number 1, she was allowed to sleep with him in his bedroom, in which the rest were only guests.

White carpets, worn out mattresses and dog poop

“Our bedrooms had strange furniture that didn’t match, as if someone had gone to a flea market and bought only the essentials for each room. Although we tried to decorate our homes and make them feel more homely, the mattresses on our beds were disgusting—old, worn, and stained. The sheets were also not new. I was able to convince Hef to pay for new mattresses and bedding, but in exchange I had to collect all the receipts before he paid them. Hef, after much persuasion, allowed us to make repairs and put up new wallpaper, for some unknown reason he insisted that it be white. He wanted his girlfriends' rooms to look very girly, with white carpets and pink walls. It looked really great at first, but with two dogs in the room (most girls had their pets, I had two pugs), butlers bringing food, dirty shoes and constant spills, the carpet was gray and stained after just a few months. However, Hef is used to dirty carpets. In one of his bedrooms, the carpet hadn't been changed for years, and it got worse when girl number 1 Holly Maddison moved in with her two dogs, who did their business right on the carpet. Late at night or early in the morning, if we ever walked into Hef's bedroom, we almost always stepped in dog poop. Everything in the mansion is old and worn out, and Archie the dog regularly peed on the curtains in the hallway, adding strong smell urine to the general aroma of decomposition."

Hefner at a party at the Playboy Mansion with party girl Paris Hilton and his "favorite wife" of the time, Holly Maddison. 2006

For sexuality and obedience - monetary reward

Many girls endured these conditions for the sake of a dream - to be on the centerfold of Playboy, others admitted that they agreed to live in a mansion for the sake of money paid for by Hefner. plastic surgery, which he gave for their birthdays. But St. James - who had large university debts - was more interested in the weekly pocket money Hefner paid his girls: "Every Friday morning we had to go to Hef's room, wait for him to pick up all the dog poop from the carpet, and then demand his salary - a thousand dollars in crisp bills from his personal safe. We all hated this procedure. Hef always took the opportunity to complain about what he wasn't happy with in our relationship. Most of his complaints were about the lack of harmony between the girls - or your sexual inactivity during "parties" in his bedroom. If one of us went to the city and missed one of its official exits in nightclub, he didn't give us money. He used it as a weapon." No pay was given for violating any of Hefner's strict rules. “When I moved to the mansion, I had no idea that I would lose all my freedom. The strictest rule was the curfew. Everyone had to be back at the mansion by 9 p.m. unless we went to the club with Hef. People don't believe us when we talk about curfews at the crazy Playboy Mansion."

Another model, Kendra Wilkinson, now 25, met Hefner in 2004 when she was hired to pose as a living statue at one of his parties - completely naked, with only accessories painted on. Soon she moved into a mansion and lived there until 2009. She recalls that the staff recorded the time each of the girls left or returned to the mansion. Hefner pored over magazines every morning, and this, according to Wilkinson, drove her crazy. “Yes, he was more strict than my parents were in my entire life!” A certain freedom came on Wednesdays and Fridays, the official coming out days that were preludes to the sex parties Hef hosted in his bedroom twice a week. The girls went to the club in a white limousine, which was trimmed with leopard skin inside with Playboy bunnies logos on the seats. Along the way they pumped up calming tablets“Kualalud”, washed down with Dom Perignon champagne. “Hef once told me that these pills make girls feel sexual,” recalls Kendra. The joy of being outside the mansion after curfew quickly faded - Hefner went to the same clubs night after night. His guards vigilantly ensured that the girls did not communicate with other men. Around midnight, St. James writes, Hef took his dose of Viagra. “After that, he immediately looked at his watch to make sure we left on time, because if we didn’t or he miscalculated, he couldn’t have sex with us. We had to line up like goslings and leave the club one after another.”

Crazy orgies without condoms

One of those who witnessed the preparations for the orgies was model Jill Anne Spaulding, who in 2002 wrote a letter to Hefner asking him to put her photo in a Playboy centerfold. Even though 20-year-old Jill included nude photos of herself, she says she wasn't prepared for what happened when she was invited to stay at the mansion for a few days and take part in one of the sex parties. All the girls were told to take a bath: “I got into the bath, then another girl appeared and jumped in,” she recalls. “Then Hefner came and took a picture of us naked in the bathroom. It was all very strange. Then they took me to Hef's bedroom. The only light came from two televisions that were showing porn films. All the girls were wearing pink pajamas. If you were wearing pajama bottoms, it was a sign that you didn’t want sex that evening.” According to Jill, of the 12 girls present, only she and one other refused to have sex with Hefner, who did not use a condom. “The sex was unprotected, venereal diseases they didn’t check us,” she says. Isabella St. James is more open about sex with Hefner. “I wanted to find out what the experienced King of Sex knew that we didn’t know, but he just lay there like dead fish. We often thought about why he needed this at all. He himself, deep down in his soul, understands that this is just a show, but continues to embody the fantasies that he has been selling since 1954. He wants to be the living embodiment of the image that he himself created.”

Jill was still hoping for a Playboy spread, but she had no intention of sleeping with Hefner. At the second sex party, she again came fully dressed in pajamas, and the other girls made it clear to her that this would not work: “I was scared. They were all looking at me, including Hef who was lying on the bed - they were just staring at me. I firmly said that I could not join them. Hef was mad as hell and one of the girls hissed at me for upsetting him. I didn’t care that his face was twisted with anger, but they left me alone,” recalls Jill.

At first glance, it seems that the life of the Duchess of Cambridge is like a fairy tale: she is married to a prince, lives in a palace, shines at receptions in designer outfits and family jewels. However, this beautiful life there is also reverse side- Kate has to unquestioningly follow royal protocol and give up many seemingly harmless things. In order not to fall out of favor with Elizabeth II, the wife of her grandson, Prince William, is obliged to carefully monitor her image and behavior in public.

It seems to many that members of the British royal family can afford everything they want. However, reality is infinitely far from this illusion: royalty, like no one else, honors centuries-old traditions and, frankly speaking, outdated rules. Even the closest relatives of the ruler of Great Britain do not have the right to violate the protocol of the royal court without the permission of Elizabeth II herself, who, as is known, is distinguished by her principles and extremely rarely makes concessions.

TO strict rules Prince William's wife, Kate Middleton, also had to get used to it. The girl grew up in a very wealthy, but not at all aristocratic family, so after her engagement to the heir to the English crown in October 2010, she had to go through a real “princess school.” The etiquette expert explained to Katherine all the intricacies of her future position before the wedding. The freedom-loving Middleton had to once and for all come to terms with the fact that, having become part of the royal family, she would never again be able to do only what she wanted and wear the outfits that she liked.

Whatever you will do for love and position in society: Katherine quickly learned the rules and came to terms with the conservative views of her husband’s influential relatives. As it turns out, royal protocol involves many prohibitions. And this applies not only to overly revealing or, conversely, informal clothing, but also to other aspects of life.

Recently, Western journalists drew attention to the fact that the Duchess of Cambridge, during the entire six years of her marriage to Prince William, never appeared in public with a bright manicure. As it turns out, Queen Elizabeth II insists on using nude shades. The monarch herself, for example, has been faithful to the same delicate color of nail polish since 1989.

In addition to beauty and fashion prohibitions, there are many more rules of behavior that Kate has had to get used to over the years. For example, when dining with the Queen, no one can continue eating if she has finished eating. Those who hesitate consistently leave the table with a noble feeling of hunger.

Rumor has it that the younger generation rebels against the conservative grandmother from time to time. So, despite the prohibitions, Prince Harry is still going to marry divorced American actress Meghan Markle, despite her dark past. And Harry’s older brother, Prince William, recently quarreled with Elizabeth II because she forces his wife to perform all prescribed duties even during pregnancy.

Nevertheless, neither the young princes nor their chosen ones dare to express to the queen’s face everything they think about protocol, and put up with all the rules and prohibitions. Find out what else Kate Middleton is forbidden to do after marriage in our gallery.