1.2 Features of communication between preschool children
IN preschool age Other children - peers - enter the child's life firmly and forever. A complex and sometimes dramatic picture of relationships unfolds between preschoolers. They make friends, quarrel, make peace, get offended, get jealous, help each other, and sometimes do minor “dirty tricks.” All these relationships are acutely experienced and carry a lot of different emotions. Emotional tension and conflict in the sphere of children's relationships are much higher than in the sphere of communication with adults. Parents are sometimes unaware of the wide range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, naturally, do not attach much importance to children's friendships, quarrels, and insults.
Meanwhile, the experience of first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child’s personality is built. This first experience largely determines the nature of a person’s attitude towards himself, towards others, and towards the world as a whole. It doesn't always work out successfully. For many children, already in preschool age, the negative attitude to others, which can have very sad long-term consequences. Identify in a timely manner problematic forms of a child’s relationship with peers and help overcome them - the most important task parents. To do this you need to know age characteristics communication between children, the normal course of development of communication with peers.
The communication of younger preschoolers is completely different from their communication with adults. They talk differently, look at each other, behave differently.
The first thing that catches your eye is the extremely vivid emotional intensity of children’s communication. They literally cannot talk calmly - they scream, squeal, laugh, rush around, scare each other and at the same time choke with delight. Increased emotionality and relaxedness significantly distinguishes the contacts of children from their interactions with adults. In communication between peers, there are approximately 10 times more vivid expressive and facial expressions, expressing a wide variety of emotional states: from furious indignation to wild joy, from tenderness and sympathy to fight.
Another important feature of children’s contacts is the non-standard nature of their behavior and the absence of any rules or decency. If, when communicating with adults, even the smallest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when interacting with peers, children use the most unexpected and unpredictable sounds and movements. They jump, take bizarre poses, make faces, imitate each other, chatter, croak and bark, come up with unimaginable sounds, words, fables, etc. Such eccentricities bring them unbridled gaiety - and the weirder the merrier.
At 3-4 years old, communication with peers brings mostly joyful emotions. But later more complex and not always rosy relationships arise.
In the middle of preschool age, a decisive change in attitude towards peers occurs. The picture of children's interactions is changing significantly. After four years of age, communication (especially among children attending kindergarten) with a peer becomes more attractive than communication with an adult and takes an increasingly larger place in the child’s life. Preschoolers already quite consciously choose the company of their peers. They clearly prefer to play together (rather than alone), and other children make more attractive partners than adults.
Along with the need for cooperative game A 4-5 year old child usually develops a need for peer recognition and respect. This natural need creates a lot of problems in children's relationships and becomes the cause of many conflicts. The child strives with all his might to attract the attention of others, sensitively catches signs of attitude toward himself in their glances and facial expressions, and demonstrates resentment in response to inattention or reproaches from partners. For a child, his own action or statement is much more important, and in most cases the initiative of a peer is not supported by him. This is especially evident in the inability to continue and develop the dialogue, which falls apart due to the inability to hear the partner.
At the age of 4-5, children often ask adults about the successes of their friends, demonstrate their advantages, and try to hide their mistakes and failures from their peers. In children's communication at this age, a competitive element appears. The “invisibility” of a peer turns into a keen interest in everything that he does. The successes and failures of others acquire special meaning for the child. In any activity, children closely and jealously observe the actions of their peers, evaluate them and compare them with their own. Children's reactions to an adult's assessment - who he will praise and who he may scold - also become more acute and emotional. The successes of a peer can cause grief for many children, but his failures can cause undisguised joy. At this age, difficult experiences such as envy, jealousy, and resentment against a peer arise. They, of course, complicate children’s relationships and become the reason for numerous children’s conflicts.
We see that in the middle of preschool age there is a deep qualitative restructuring of the child’s relationship with his peers. The other child becomes the subject of constant comparison with himself. This comparison is not aimed at identifying commonality (as with three-year-olds), but at contrasting oneself and another. It is important for everyone to show that he is better than others in at least something - he jumps better, draws, solves problems, has better things, etc. Such a comparison primarily reflects changes in the child’s self-awareness. Through comparison with a peer, he evaluates and affirms himself as the owner of certain merits, which are important not in themselves, but “in the eyes of another.” For a 4-5 year old child, this other person becomes a peer. All this gives rise to numerous conflicts among children and such phenomena as boasting, demonstrativeness, and competitiveness. Some children literally “get stuck” in negative experiences and suffer seriously if someone is superior to them in something. Such experiences can later become the source of many serious problems, which is why it is very important to “slow down” the oncoming wave of envy, jealousy and boasting in time. In preschool age, this can be done through joint activities of children, and above all through play.
This age is the heyday of role-playing games. At this time, the game becomes collective - children prefer to play together rather than alone. The main content of communication between children in the middle of preschool age now lies in a common cause or business cooperation. Cooperation must be distinguished from complicity. The younger children, as we have already noted, acted simultaneously and in the same way, side by side, but not together. It was important for the kids to share their emotions and repeat the movements of their peers. During business communication, when preschoolers are busy common cause, they must coordinate their actions and take into account the activity of their partner in order to achieve overall result. Here it is completely unacceptable to repeat the actions or words of another, because everyone has their own role. Most role-playing games are designed in such a way that each role requires a partner: if I am a doctor, I need a patient; if I am a seller, then I need a buyer, etc. Therefore, cooperation, coordination of actions with a partner - necessary condition normal game.
IN role-playing game There is absolutely no reason to compete and compete - after all, all participants have a common task that they must accomplish together. It is no longer so important for children to establish themselves in the eyes of their peers; it is much more important to play together to make it work good game, or a beautiful room for dolls, or big house from cubes. It doesn't matter who built this house. The main thing is the result that we achieve together. It is therefore necessary to shift the child’s interests from self-affirmation as the main meaning of his life to joint activities with other children, where the main thing is the overall result, and not his personal achievements. By creating conditions for common play and uniting the efforts of children to achieve common goal, you will help your child get rid of many personal problems.
However, for many five-year-old children, the heightened need for peer recognition and respect is only an age-related feature. By older preschool age, the attitude towards a peer changes significantly again.
By the age of 6-7 years, preschool children's friendliness towards peers and the ability to help each other significantly increases. Of course, the competitive nature remains for life. However, along with this, in the communication of older preschoolers, the ability to see in a partner not only his situational manifestations is gradually revealed: what he has and what he does, but also some psychological aspects the existence of a partner: his desires, preferences, moods. Preschoolers now not only talk about themselves, but also ask questions to a peer: what he wants to do, what he likes, where he has been, what he has seen, etc. Interest in the personality of a peer is awakened, not related to his specific actions.
By the age of 6, many children have a direct and selfless desire to help a peer, give him something or give in to something. Schadenfreude, envy, and competitiveness appear less often and not as acutely as at the age of five. During this period, emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of a peer also increases significantly. It is important for children what and how another child does (what he plays, what he draws, what books he looks at), not in order to show that I am better, but simply because this other child becomes interesting in itself. Sometimes, even contrary to accepted rules, they strive to help another, to tell him the right move or answer. If 4-5 year old children willingly, following an adult, condemn the actions of a peer, then 6 year old boys, on the contrary, can unite with a friend in their “confrontation” with an adult, defend or justify him.
Many children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. So, for example, they are happy when a kindergarten teacher praises their friend, and get upset or try to help when something doesn’t work out for him. A peer, thus, becomes for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and a subject of comparison with himself, not only a preferred partner, but also a self-valued personality, important and interesting, regardless of his achievements and his toys.
Children become interested in what the other child experiences and prefers.
In older preschool age, children increasingly do something specifically for others, to help them or somehow make them better. They themselves understand this and can explain their actions.
In older preschool age, attitudes towards peers become more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of interaction. By the end of preschool age, strong selective attachments arise between children, and the first shoots of true friendship appear. Preschoolers gather in small groups (2-3 people each) and provide clear preference to your friends. They care most about their friends, prefer to play with them, sit next to them at the table, go for a walk, etc. Friends tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their plans or preferences, evaluate their qualities and the actions of others.
Thus, the peculiarities of communication among older preschoolers are that the above sequence of development of communication and relationships with peers in preschool age is not always realized in the development of specific children. It is widely known that there are significant individual differences in a child’s attitude towards his peers, which largely determine his well-being, position among others and, ultimately, the characteristics of his personality development. Children can often have negative attitudes towards peers of other nationalities. Develop ethics in children interethnic communication necessary already in preschool age.
On the means of teaching ethics of interethnic communication in children of senior preschool age we'll talk in the next paragraph.
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Ekaterina Mikhailovna Pashkina
Main doctor at the Central Clinical Hospital Omsk
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Latest update articles: 06/02/2018
Communication plays important role in the life of every person. Thanks to communication and relationships with other people, a person can determine his place in this world, understand who he is. Especially great value communication plays a role in the life of a small child. It creates conditions for the full formation of his personality. Attention, understanding and love from loved ones are necessary factors in turning a child into a kind, sociable, strong-willed adult.
The foundations of a child’s communication are laid in the family, with his parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents and other close relatives. Adults become a reference point for him, guiding his behavior and directly influencing his all-round development.
Communication permeates all areas of human life. In order for a child to adapt to any society, he needs to master speech skills:
- entering into a conversation (when and how to start a dialogue).
- maintaining and completing communication (the ability to listen to the interlocutor, logically and clearly express one’s thoughts, object, give reasons for one’s words, evaluate).
- Speech etiquette (introduction, greeting, refusal, sympathy, congratulations, gratitude, etc.).
- Communication in pairs and groups (from 3 people).
- Non-verbal communication (through gestures, posture and facial expressions).
Features of the development of relationships between preschoolers and adults
The development of children's relationships with adults is divided into 4 stages:
- Stage – situational and personal (from birth to six months). A newborn does not understand human speech, and all interactions with parents are limited to a reaction to their facial expressions, smiles, and intonation. But babies feel love and attention towards them.
- Stage – situational and business (from 6 months to 3 years). After reaching 6 months of age, the baby begins to actively play and requires help from adults in games. The baby learns to speak and by the end of the period he has almost completely mastered his native speech. The child still needs affection and attention from loved ones.
- Stage – non-situational-cognitive (from 3 to 5 years). In addition to the need for attention and help, there is a need for respect. The baby begins to learn the world around us, and the adult becomes the main source of information for him. The child asks a lot of questions. Extra-situational communication is communication about objects that are not directly in the field of vision. That is, a child at this stage of development already knows how to discuss, talk about what is not on the at the moment before my eyes.
- Stage – non-situational-personal (from 5 to 7 years). At this age, the child becomes an independent person. He is no longer interested environment, A human relations. During this period, the formation of moral and ethical values occurs, the child begins to clearly understand what good and evil are. He learns to analyze his behavior, manage it, and demands from adults mutual understanding and evaluation not only of his actions, but also of himself as an individual.
These stages of communication development are only theoretical. In practice, development often lags behind regulatory deadlines. The main indicator of well-developed communication is the ability to communicate on various topics with various interlocutors.
Features of communication between preschoolers and peers
Communication with adults and peers is fundamentally different from each other. When talking with peers, children are always more relaxed; they do not need to adhere to the rules of politeness and norms of behavior; they can speak freely and uninhibitedly. At the same time, the emotional component predominates in conversations. Communication is often accompanied by antics, laughter, shouting and high voice intonations.
An adult acts as an authority and a role model for a child. A preschool child asks him questions, learns something from him, fulfills his requirements and waits for an assessment of his actions. An adult often acts as a judge in children's disputes. Communication with other children occurs on equal terms, it is richer and more intense, the child strives to show and tell what he can do. Often, the main thing for children is to tell, not to listen, so communication may not go well when two children interrupt each other, do not listen, and each talks about something different.
The development of communication between older preschoolers and peers goes through several stages:
- Stage 1 (from approximately 5 months to 1.5 years). The prerequisites for future communication are being laid. A child may be interested in a peer like a new toy, touch him, smile and laugh with him, but does not seek to attract his attention, unlike the attention of adults. Children do not have joint actions.
- Stage 2 (from 2 to 4 years). At this age, the child is ready to play with other children of his age. He expects support and participation in pranks and fun from his peers. The children run around happily and shout together. They can build something together, collect something, but final goal– not important, the action itself is important. However, up to the age of 4, children spend more time playing alone.
- Stage 3 (4 to 6 years). During this period, communication with peers comes first. They gather in groups and actively play role-playing games, try to cooperate with each other to achieve the same goal. At this age, the child strives for recognition and respect among other children.
- Stage 4 (6 to 7 years old). This stage is characterized by planning activities in a team, cooperation, providing mutual assistance, and the emergence of affection and friendship. The child begins to see his friend as an equal, begins to take into account his interests, help him, and demand the same in return.
In older preschool age, children strive to gain popularity in the team; they try to show their leadership qualities. If a child does not receive recognition and respect from peers, resentment accumulates and success in school decreases. joint activities, which leads to a complete abandonment of it.
Competition begins in middle preschool age, but even after 6 years it does not fade away in many children. For kids, not only their own successes and failures, but also those of their peers are extremely important. This is where envy, resentment and jealousy arise.
After 6 years, many children begin to treat their peers more kindly, try to provide them with support, help, and give them something without any selfish gain.
If at 4-5 years old children primarily strive to receive a high assessment of their actions from an adult, then after 6 years they can already unite and resist the adult. For the child, a peer becomes a person whose successes and failures one can empathize with and whose interests one can be interested in.
At this age, children can communicate for a long time without performing any practical actions. They share information with each other about where they have been, what they have seen and what they are planning to do, and evaluate the characters and actions of other people.
Problems in communication of children of senior preschool age
There are several personality traits that create problems in the social sphere:
- Selfishness– behavior in which a child is guided only by his own personal interests and does not take into account the interests and opinions of other people. Children, without receiving support from a selfish child, lose all interest in him.
- Aggressiveness- a personality trait that manifests itself in frequent outbursts of anger, anger, and sometimes violence. An aggressive baby can scare away other children.
- Passivity– emotional and psychological weakness. A passive child does not know what to do with himself, cannot come up with a game on his own, and has no respect in the eyes of his peers.
- Shyness. It is always difficult for an indecisive, fearful and silent child to get along in a group.
The origins of these problems usually originate in the family. To create the child as much as possible comfortable conditions To develop active communication and interaction, adults need:
- don't demonstrate negative emotions in relation to other kids;
- try not to get into children’s conflicts: the child must be able to listen and understand the enemy, and also defend himself and his opinion independently;
- encourage initiative in communication;
- do not pull the child down in front of his peers;
- teach your child to identify the emotions of other people by their facial expressions;
- communicate frequently with your child and have long conversations with him.
Games for developing communication among older preschoolers
The main way children learn anything is through games. This is the only way kids can be interested and even completely absorbed in the process that develops certain skills in them. To adapt children to society and develop communication skills, it is proposed to use the following game exercises:
- "Centipede". Children stand one after another, holding their hands on the waist of the person in front, imagining a centipede. At the teacher’s command, they begin to move, then at the command they accelerate, slow down, jump on one leg, squat, climb, avoid obstacles and crawl under them, etc. This game develops skills for interacting with peers.
- "Movie". One child says the name of the main character of the future film, the second child repeats it and says the name of the second character, the third child repeats what was said before and comes up with an action for these characters (for example, go to the forest or fishing), the fourth child repeats everything previously said and adds something else of your own (for example, circumstances - it started to rain), etc. After all the children have spoken, they must show the resulting movie using plastic and facial expressions. This game develops memory and non-verbal communication.
- "Princess Nesmeyana". An adult tells the children a fairy tale about a sad princess who cried all the time and whom no one could make laugh. After this, the shyest and most silent girl in the team is selected, sits on a chair and plays the role of Princess Nesmeyana. Each child is invited to come up and make her laugh with something (story, facial expressions, dance, etc.). A girl playing the role of a princess should try not to laugh.
- "Animal Choir". Children are invited to sing the song “A Christmas tree was born in the forest,” but not with words, but with animal sounds. The team is divided into groups of several people, the teacher gives each group a card with an animal depicted on it. The first group begins to sing like dogs “Woof-woof-woof!”, the second – like cats “Meow-Meow-Meow!”, the third – like cows “Moo-Mu-Mu”, etc. This type of game helps to establish interactions between group members.
- "Interview". A presenter is selected from among the children to conduct the interview. Each child approaches him (you can stand on a chair) and a dialogue begins. Children imagine that they are adults and must confidently ask and answer questions: “What is your name by name and patronymic?”, “Where do you work?”, “What are your hobbies?” etc. At first, it will be difficult for the leading child to come up with questions and the teacher will need to help him. This game helps develop communication skills, teaches dialogical communication and increases vocabulary.
- "Bragging Competition". Preschoolers sit in a circle. They should take turns boasting, not about themselves and their skills, but about their neighbor. Whoever boasts the best will receive a small gift. This activity helps children bond with each other.
- "Round dance". Develops a sense of community. Kids stand in a circle, hold hands and walk in a circle, showing, at the command of an adult, a cunning fox, an angry wolf, a big scary bear, a frightened bunny, a cheerful bird, etc.
- "Who Speaks". Develops attention and auditory perception. The teacher chooses one of the children as the leader and he stands with his back to the other children. Other kids, one by one, ask the leader questions, who must give an answer and name the person asking the question. The one whose name the leader guesses becomes the leader himself.
For a complete personal development A child needs to be able to communicate with both adults and peers. This is the only way he can find himself in this world. In order to develop a preschooler’s communication abilities, it is necessary to support him, have long conversations with him and facilitate his integration into the group of peers. Various games are very effective for developing communication, by participating in which children learn to recognize each other, trust and work in a team.
A preschool child communicates differently with children like himself and with adults. This happens on an intuitive level and is explained by the preschooler’s expectations of what he wants to get from communication. In psychology, there are forms of communication between preschoolers that have developed on the basis of needs that push the child to interact.
Communication as a condition for meeting the needs of a preschooler
Before a child develops the need to communicate with others, he reaches out to others for the sake of comfortable sensations, for the sake of gaining security, for the sake of receiving impressions. These needs appear from the first days of life.
By the age of 3, cognitive needs come to the fore. Where can she be satisfied if not by turning to an adult?
Kids need to make so many discoveries and understand how this world works that they constantly need explanations and help from parents, educators, and older brothers and sisters.
Younger preschoolers not only ask questions. They strive to express their Self. They need to address it to someone: “I myself!” Or draw the attention of the same children to yourself by declaring “This is my toy”, “Look what doll they gave me.” For such self-affirmation, viewers, listeners, and partners are needed. Communication provides them.
By the age of five, the need for respect is formed. Children demonstrate what they have already learned and what they know or can do. When communicating with peers, edifying phrases are often heard: “Look how you should do it,” “Do it as I do!” In addition, in middle preschool age, boys and girls need equal play partners. Children's games are nothing more than an organized form of communication.
In older preschoolers, the need to talk about their impressions and convey interesting information and establish your authority among your peers. Therefore, their communications cover an increasingly larger circle of peers. Preschoolers are already good at identifying moral qualities, so they are drawn to those peers who are closer to them.
We have provided a small list of needs that preschoolers satisfy in communicating with others.
Communications that arise on the basis of certain needs, motives, as well as the verbal and non-verbal means used, form stable forms of communication.
For babies, almost all interactions are tied to specific situations. With growing up, forms of communication in preschoolers develop, and they acquire an extra-situational character.
How do preschoolers communicate with others?
If we briefly consider how forms of communication progress in preschool age, it is best to turn to the developments famous psychologist Lisina M.I., who identified four levels of communication from infancy to 7 years, designating them as a form:
- Situational-personal
- Situational business
- Extra-situational-cognitive
- Extra-situational-personal
The first ones in this list are formed earlier, based on concrete actions, objects, experiences. By older preschool age they do not disappear, but partially give way to more developed forms, not tied to the situation. These changes are facilitated by the development of speech and speech in children.
Highest form communication for preschool age is one that promotes understanding of the meaning of human relationships, as well as the assimilation of the norms and values of society. Consequently, this is an extra-situational-personal form of communication.
Forms of communication between preschoolers and peers
In the period from 3 to 7 years, forms of communication are observed that are consistently updated from younger to older preschool age:
- Emotional-practical
- Situational business
- Non-situational business
Communication among younger preschoolers is prompted by emotions or practical action. Kids can simply run up to each other with a joyful smile, and this is already a sign that they are interested in communicating. It is not so important how long their communication will captivate them. The emotionality of contact is valuable.
The children's joint actions are still short-lived. They can make Easter cakes nearby or roll cars. They can demonstrate how far they throw a ball or slide down a slide. However, the emotional-practical form of communication provides the basis for the formation of initiative in communication.
In middle preschool age, children's business communication actively develops. This is due to progress. Preschoolers no longer play just side by side, but together, choosing more complex plots, distributing roles, and agreeing on the rules.
Some appear business qualities, but they are tied to situations. For example, a child may act as a strict controller in the game in accordance with the chosen role, but behave timidly in ordinary contacts.
Extra-situational relationships allow you to shift attention from the actions of the communication partner to the person himself. Unexpectedly, the preschooler begins to see his play partner as an interlocutor, a person with his own interests and preferences. Another thing is that the revealed personality traits can either please or repel. Both a boy and a girl can tell their yesterday’s friend that they no longer play with him, because he takes other people’s toys without permission, offends others, etc.
Among children, a preschooler acquires behavioral skills, learns mutual understanding, and discovers social values.
The behavior of peers serves as a kind of mirror, allowing the child to see himself from the outside. And the developing preschooler helps the preschooler to notice the nuances of facial expressions and statements that previously escaped attention.
Forms of communication between children and adults
Communication with adults is, in essence, interactions in the “zone of proximal development,” since a preschooler uses his potential and fills in the blank spots in his knowledge.
Starting from the age of 3, the baby becomes an active explorer of everything around him.
Cognitive communication with an adult gives the child real ideas about the world and expands his understanding of the cause-and-effect relationships between surrounding objects and phenomena.
Extra-situational-personal form of communication
The older a preschooler gets, the more he understands that the social environment is much wider and more diverse than his usual environment. The child realizes that he needs to learn how to behave and act correctly. different situations. Moreover, he sees the different behavior of his peers, which leads him to the conclusion that not everyone behaves as they should.
The preschooler has questions for elders in order to understand the meaning of relationships between people. To some extent, the older preschooler checks his point of view to see whether it coincides with the position of the adult. This is how generally accepted social norms are assigned.
By talking with adults, the child learns standards of expression and behavioral cultural norms. The preschooler begins to develop his own authorities. To understand a certain situation, he increasingly turns to the adult whom he considers most competent in this matter.
Some features of personal communication
The desire to communicate with adults largely depends on the personal expectations of the preschooler. If a child has a predominantly positive experience of previous contacts with specific adults, he is drawn to them. Conversely, negative impressions cancel out the desire to communicate. Some grandmothers wonder why their grandchildren are so reluctant to visit them. They don’t even notice how zealously they protect the inviolability of their shelves, how strictly they reprimand the child when he violates the usual order in their apartment.
Personally, a preschooler needs warm emotional connections and adults to be interested in him, his activities and skills. The child expects support and empathy, he is sensitive to praise. This does not mean that children should be praised. But there will always be achievements worth celebrating.
It is curious, but the following phenomenon is observed: loving parents and grandparents always find a reason to support and praise the child. If there are no warm feelings, the child is often scolded and his mistakes pointed out rather than supported.
Children are attracted to the positive emotional content of relationships with significant adults. This is the favorable background against which cognitive and personal development is successfully realized.
Preschoolers communicate with their peers in the form of games. The main content of the game is the performance of actions that are associated with attitudes towards other people, whose roles are performed by other children. The role functions of children are interconnected. Emotional involvement in the game is clearly expressed.
Communication in play in early preschool age is in the nature of observations and imitation. By the age of four, children enter the stage of play cooperation, when the partner becomes an important and integral part of the game. At preschool age, children can already agree on the theme of the game, roles, plan game actions ahead, maintain a dialogue, while maintaining the ability to respond to unexpected statements from their partner.
M.I. Lisina identifies several periods in the communication of preschoolers with peers:
1. The emergence of communication activities with peers. After being born, the child does not have contact with others. The newborn’s reactions to peers (for example, crying) are contagious, reflexive in nature, and are not communication.
2. First year of life. According to E.L. Frucht, the interaction of children older than 8-9 months, is the first form of social contact. The researcher bases his conclusion on the interest that children show at this age.
S.V. Kornitskaya does not agree with this opinion and believes that “the communication of infants is not prompted by a special need to communicate with each other.
M.I. Lisina notes that the above judgments require factual justification. She notes that infant interactions need to be studied experimentally.
3. Early age. Among researchers, one can find different indications of how children at this age interact.
According to B. Spock, two-year-old children love to watch each other’s games, and begin to reckon with each other after three years.
V.S. Mukhina also points to the interest of young children in playing with each other.
4. Preschool age. After three years, the child begins to initiate communication, and children begin to actively play together. The need to communicate with each other begins to be clearly visible.
Communication of preschoolers with peers has its own characteristics that differ from communication with adults:
1. Variety of communicative actions and their wide range. When communicating with peers, there are many actions and addresses that are practically not encountered when communicating with adults. It is in communication with other children that forms of behavior such as pretense, the desire to pretend, express resentment, etc. appear. In communicating with peers, the preschooler decides large number communicative tasks: managing the partner’s actions, monitoring their implementation, assessing specific behavioral acts, comparing with oneself.
2. Communication with peers is intensely emotional. Actions that are addressed to a peer are characterized by a higher affective orientation. When communicating with peers, the child exhibits many expressive manifestations, which manifest themselves in various emotional states - from furious indignation to wild joy, from tenderness to feelings of anger.
3. Non-standard and unregulated communication between children and peers. If, when communicating with adults, even the youngest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when communicating with peers, preschoolers use the most unexpected actions and movements. Such movements are characterized by particular riskiness, irregularity and lack of specificity.
4. The predominance of proactive actions over reactive ones in communication with peers. This is especially evident in the inability to continue and develop the dialogue, which falls apart due to the lack of responsive activity from the partner. For a child, his own action is more important, and, in most cases, he does not support the initiative of his peers.
During preschool age, children’s communication with each other changes significantly: the content, needs and motives of communication change. From two to seven years, two fractures are noted: the first occurs at four years, the second at about six years. The first turning point manifests itself in a sharp increase; the importance of other children in the child's life. If at the time of its appearance and for one to two years after that the need to communicate with a peer takes an insignificant place, then in four-year-old children this need comes to the fore.
The second turning point is associated with the emergence of selective attachments, friendships with the emergence of more stable and deeper relationships between children.
These turning points can be viewed as the time boundaries of three stages in the development of children's communication. These stages can be called forms of communication between preschoolers and peers.
The first form is emotional and practical communication with peers (second to fourth years of life). The need to communicate with peers develops in early age. By the age of two, children begin to show an interest in attracting the attention of their peers, showing off their achievements and eliciting a response from them. At one and a half to two years old, children begin to develop special play actions when they express an attitude towards a peer as an equal being with whom they can play around and compete.
Imitation plays an important role in such interactions. Children seem to infect each other with common movements, a common mood, thanks to which they feel a mutual community. By imitating a peer, a child strives to attract his attention and win favor. In such imitative actions, preschoolers are not limited by any norms; they take bizarre poses, tumble, grimace, squeal, laugh, and jump with delight.
The second form of peer communication is situational and business. It is formed around the age of four and until the age of six. After four years of age, in children (especially those who go to kindergarten), peers begin to overtake adults in their attractiveness and occupy an increasingly larger place in life. This age is the heyday of role play, when children prefer to play together rather than alone.
Communication in a role-playing game occurs at two levels: at the level of role relationships (i.e. on behalf of the roles taken - doctor-patient, seller-buyer, mother-daughter) and at the level of real relationships, i.e. those that exist outside the plot being played out (children distribute roles, agree on the conditions of the game, evaluate and control the actions of others). In joint play activity There is a constant transition from one level to another. This may indicate that preschoolers clearly separate role and real relationships, and these real relationships are aimed at a common cause for them - play. Thus, the main content of communication between children in the middle of preschool age becomes business cooperation.
Cooperation must be distinguished from complicity.
Along with the need for cooperation, it is necessary to highlight the need for peer recognition and respect. The child seeks to attract the attention of others. Children carefully observe each other's actions, constantly evaluating and often criticizing their partners. At the age of four or five years, they often ask adults about the successes of their comrades, show their advantages, and hide their mistakes and failures from other children. During this period, some children are upset when they see the encouragement of a peer, and rejoice when they fail.
All this allows us to talk about a qualitative change in attitudes towards peers in the middle of preschool age, which consists in the fact that the preschooler begins to relate to himself through another child. A peer becomes the subject of constant comparison with oneself. The child begins to look at himself “through the eyes of his peer.” Thus, in situationally business communication a competitive, competitive beginning appears.
By the end of preschool age, most children develop new form communication, which is called non-situational business communication. By the age of six or seven, a child’s number of extra-situational contacts increases significantly. Children tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their plans, and evaluate the qualities and actions of others.
The development of extra-situational communication in children occurs along two lines: on the one hand, the number of extra-situational, speech contacts increases, and on the other, the very image of a peer changes and becomes more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of the interaction.
Conclusions on the second chapter. Depending on the communicative orientation, the following can be distinguished: psychological types, which occur in preschool age: artistic, dominant, romantic and executive.
At preschool age, a child’s communication with an adult changes from extra-situational-cognitive communication to extra-situational-personal communication. The forms of communication between preschoolers and peers are: emotional and practical communication with peers; situational business form; non-situational business form.
Communication of preschoolers with peers has its own characteristics that differ from communication with adults: the variety of communicative actions and their wide range; bright emotional intensity; non-standard and unregulated communication; the predominance of proactive actions over reactive ones in communication with peers.
At preschool age, the child’s world is no longer limited to the family. People who are significant to him now are not only his mother, father or grandmother, but also other children and peers. And as your baby grows up, contacts and conflicts with peers will become increasingly important to him. In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic scenario unfolds. interpersonal relationships children. Preschoolers make friends, quarrel, make peace, get offended, get jealous, help each other, and sometimes do minor dirty tricks. All these relationships are acutely experienced by the child and are colored by a wide variety of emotions. Emotional tension and conflict in children's relationships are much higher than among adults. Parents and educators are sometimes unaware of the rich range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, naturally, do not attach much importance to children's friendships, quarrels, and insults. Meanwhile, the experience of first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child’s personality is built. This first experience largely determines a person’s attitude towards himself, towards others, towards the world as a whole, and it is not always positive. Many children, already in preschool age, develop and consolidate a negative attitude towards others, which can have very sad long-term consequences. Identifying problems in interpersonal relationships in a timely manner and helping the child overcome them is the most important task of parents. Help from adults should be based on understanding psychological reasons underlying certain problems in children’s interpersonal relationships. It is internal reasons that cause a child’s persistent conflict with peers, lead to his objective or subjective isolation, and make the child feel lonely - and this is one of the most difficult and destructive human experiences. Timely detection internal conflict in a child requires from adults not only attention and observation, but also knowledge psychological characteristics and patterns of development of children's communication.
Features of communication between preschoolers
However, before talking about problematic forms of interpersonal relationships, you need to understand that a child communicates with peers in a completely different way than with an adult. First, a striking characteristic of peer communication lies in its extreme emotional intensity. Preschooler contacts are different increased emotionality and relaxedness, which cannot be said about the interaction between a child and an adult. If a child usually speaks relatively calmly with an adult, then conversations with peers are usually characterized by sharp intonations, screaming, and laughter. On average, in the communication of peers, there are 9-10 times more expressive and facial manifestations, expressing various emotional states - from furious indignation to wild joy, from tenderness and sympathy - to fight. With an adult, the child, as a rule, tries to behave evenly, without extreme expression of emotions and feelings. Such a strong emotional intensity of contacts between preschoolers is due to the fact that, starting from the age of four, a peer rather than an adult becomes a more attractive partner for a child. Preschoolers themselves already clearly understand that they are interested in children like them, and not just with mom and dad. The second important feature of children’s contacts is their non-standard and unregulated nature. If, when communicating with adults, even the youngest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when interacting with peers, preschoolers behave at ease. Their movements are characterized by a special looseness and naturalness: children jump, take bizarre poses, make faces, squeal, run after each other, imitate each other, invent new words and make up tall tales, etc. Such free behavior of preschool children usually tires adults, and they strive to stop this “disgrace.” However, for the children themselves such freedom is very important. Oddly enough, such “antics” are of great importance for the development of a child. The company of peers helps the child to show his originality. If an adult instills norms of behavior in a child, then a peer encourages manifestations of individuality. It is no coincidence that those activities that require the manifestation of creativity - play, fantasy, dramatization - are so popular among peers. Naturally, as children grow up, they become more and more subject to generally accepted rules of behavior. However, loose communication and the use of unpredictable and non-standard means remain distinctive feature children's communication until the end of preschool age. Third distinctive feature communication between peers - the predominance of proactive actions over reactive ones. Communication involves interaction with a partner, attention to him, the ability to hear him and respond to his suggestions. Young children do not have such abilities in relation to their peers. This is especially clearly manifested in the inability of preschoolers to conduct a dialogue, which falls apart due to the lack of responsive activity from the partner. For a child, his own action or statement is much more important, and in most cases the initiative of a peer is not supported by him. As a result, everyone talks about their own things, but no one listens to their partner. Such inconsistency in children's communicative actions often gives rise to conflicts, protests, and resentments. The listed features are typical for children's contacts throughout preschool age (from 3 to 6-7 years). However, the content of children’s communication does not remain unchanged throughout all four years: children’s communication and relationships go through a complex developmental path, in which three main stages can be distinguished.Junior preschool age
IN younger age(at 2-4 years old) it is necessary and sufficient for a child to have a peer join in his pranks, support and enhance the general fun. Children run after each other, hide and look for others, scream, squeal, and make faces. Each participant in such emotional communication is primarily concerned with attracting attention to himself and receiving an emotional response from his partner. In a peer, the child perceives only attention to himself, and the peer himself (his actions, desires, moods), as a rule, is not noticed. A peer is just a mirror for him, in which he sees only himself. Communication at this age is extremely situational - it depends entirely on the specific environment in which the interaction takes place, and on the practical actions of the partner. Quite often, some attractive object can ruin the friendly play of children: their attention immediately switches to it. The fight for a toy and the reluctance to give up one’s own is a distinctive feature of children. They assert and defend their “I” primarily through the demonstration of their property: “Look what I have!”, “This is mine!” That is why it is very difficult to give what is yours. Attractive toys become a reason for endless disputes and conflicts among children. They can communicate normally only in the absence of distracting objects. Encourages adults to play together with one toy in this case are useless - children at this age can pay attention either to a peer or (which is much more common) to a toy. Only with the help of an adult can a child see an equal person in a peer. Please note small child on the attractive sides of a peer, on the fact that he can do the same simple actions (clap his hands, jump, spin, etc.). In early preschool age, it is better to organize games without objects, in which children act simultaneously and in the same way. These are well-known round dance games or simple games By certain rules(“loaf”, “bunny”, “carousel”, “bubble”, “cat and mouse”, etc.). Young children are indifferent to the successes of their peers, even if the praise comes from an adult. The baby does not seem to notice the actions and mood of his peer. At the same time, the presence of a peer makes the child more emotional and active, as evidenced by the children’s desire for each other and mutual imitation. The ease with which three-year-old children become infected with common emotional states, may indicate a special commonality that arises when identical skills and things are discovered. This commonality is so far determined only by external signs: “You jump, and I jump,” “You have green slippers, and I have the same ones.” It is by emphasizing this commonality that relationships between kids can be improved.
Middle preschool age
A decisive change in attitude towards peers occurs in a child in the middle of preschool age. In the fifth year of life (especially for those children who attend kindergarten), one-year-olds become more attractive to the baby and occupy an increasingly larger place in life. Nowadays, children consciously prefer to play with another child rather than with an adult or alone. The main content of children's communication in the middle of preschool age becomes a common cause - play. If younger children played nearby, but not together, if the attention and complicity of a peer was important to them, then during business communication preschoolers learn to coordinate their actions with the actions of their partner and achieve a common result. This kind of interaction is called cooperation. At this age it prevails in children’s communication. If children after 4 years old do not know how to play together and their communication is limited only to fussing and running around, this is a clear sign their backlog in social development. At this age, children need cooperation and meaningful communication - that is, play. At this stage, the need for recognition and respect from a peer is no less clearly manifested. The child strives to attract the attention of others, sensitively catches signs of attitude toward himself in their glances and facial expressions, and demonstrates resentment in response to inattention or reproaches from partners. The “invisibility” of a peer turns into a keen interest in everything that he does. At the age of four or five, children closely and jealously observe the actions of their peers and evaluate them: they often ask adults about the successes of their comrades, demonstrate their advantages, and try to hide their mistakes and failures from their peers. A competitive element appears in children's communication. Children closely and jealously observe and evaluate the actions of their peers. Children's reactions to an adult's opinion also become more acute and emotional. The successes of peers can cause grief in children, but their failures cause undisguised joy. It is at this age that the number of children's conflicts increases significantly, envy, jealousy, and resentment towards peers are openly manifested. A preschooler forms an opinion about himself, constantly comparing himself with peers. But now the purpose of this comparison is no longer to discover commonality (as with three-year-olds), but to contrast oneself with another. Through comparison with peers, the child evaluates and asserts himself as the owner of certain advantages that can be appreciated by others. For a four- to five-year-old child, his “surroundings” are his peers. All this gives rise to numerous conflicts among children and such phenomena as boasting, ostentatious actions, and rivalries, which can be considered as age-related characteristics of five-year-olds. A way to help a child of middle preschool age communicate normally with peers is playing together. Children who know how and love to play will definitely learn to establish contacts with partners, distribute roles, create game situation. Teach your child to play together (preferably role-playing), help children come up with an interesting plot - and a good common game will become more important for them than praise or their own successes.
