-Yana! Of course, I understand that pregnancy practically turns off many parts of the female brain, but not to the same extent!
-Why did you leave your urine tests at the reception, because there is a window in the toilet for this!
Lord, I didn’t know where to go from shame!

This story happened back in 1998. A girl (17 years old) from a remote village was brought to the city maternity hospital. It’s time for her to give birth, and she has such thickets “there” that the medical staff almost lost consciousness.
They examined her, sent her to shave, and even gave her a nurse to help her. Saying:
- Why don’t I shave myself?
The girl locked herself in the bathroom. They wait 15 minutes, 30, 40, the nurse offers to help her:
- No, no, no need! I'm already leaving!
The staff gathered, even the head doctor came to look. Finally, after an hour and a half, the village beauty came out. She came out for a reason, but SHAVED MY HEAD! Krasapetina shaved her head, shaved off her eyebrows and, what’s coolest, in the right place everything was the same...
They say that the head physician was given tea for another thirty minutes.

The young parents, very worried, were expecting their first child. Like everyone else, this couple visited various doctors. Just before giving birth, the woman was sent for an ultrasound.

Imagine WHAT feelings you experienced expectant mother when a tired, young doctor, with a sympathetic face, said to her:
- Woman, how can I tell you, ummm, your son has a congenital pathology.
Which? The mother, who is turning pale before her eyes, is interested.
- THESE ARE Eggs! At the same time, the doctor shakes two fists in the face of the woman who is rapidly losing consciousness.
Having somehow come to her senses, the woman took a referral to the center for the fight against pathologies and went home to grieve. At home, stuttering, she gave her shocked husband an interrogation with passion. Like, honey, have you ever met any men in your family with a huge scrotum?
Needless to say, that night, the young family grieved inconsolably instead of sleeping peacefully.
Morning came, the woman and her husband went to the center for the fight against pathologies. They come for an ultrasound, the doctor, with a surprised and uncomprehending look, looks first at the direction, then at the ultrasound monitor:
- I can’t understand anything! Why were you sent here at all!?
The inconsolable mother, through tears, shaking her fists in the doctor’s face, answers:
- The previous doctor told me that the child had a rare pathology - THESE ARE THE EGGS!
Barely holding back his laughter, the old doctor said to his mother:
- Woman! You're having a girl! She just clasps her fists between her legs...

My friend Katya decided to go to the gynecologist... Everything would be fine, but 11 years have passed since the last visit... New technologies, you know. They prescribed an ultrasound for her.

The doctor (female) Katya instructed: - they say, go to the pharmacy opposite, buy a condom, pee and come for an ultrasound. Katya understood everything literally. I went, bought it, and went to the toilet at the clinic. And what do you think she did? Right. She managed to pee in a condom, as she was actually instructed)))
Katya suffered for a long time... it’s still necessary to get there, but that’s not so bad: - Katya is standing in the toilet with her pants down. IN right hand a condom filled to capacity, and it is not possible to put on pants with one left hand.
Katya swore a couple of times and decided to act: - she tied the condom into a bow, put it on the floor and calmly got dressed. And here she goes, all full of pride, carrying a condom (like a ball) in front of her, supporting it with her hand (so that God forbid he falls) through the corridor of the clinic, where about 50 people are sitting...

Katya walks into the ultrasound room and says: - Here, I brought everything!!! The female gynecologist and her nurse neighed like regimental horses, and Katya blinked her eyes and tried to understand what was wrong: either she peed too little, or, on the contrary, too much. After laughing, the doctor asked the confused Katya if she still had a condom, and, having received a positive answer, said: - you, Katya, just don’t poop in it))) Curtain)))

I was a romantic too... until I became a gynecologist.

Scientists, psychologists, have found that men choose the specialty of a gynecologist not by chance. Male gynecologists can be divided into two categories. The first are insecure people who, with the help of proximity (even medical) to women, hope to improve their personal lives: “what if something happens to me too.” And indeed, after a few years of working in their chosen specialty, the personal life of such doctors improves significantly: they can easily communicate with women and feel much more relaxed.

The second category, on the contrary, are men “sexy athletes” who are accustomed to close attention from women. But, in their opinion, there is never too much of a good thing. And Gynecology for them is just a goldmine where they can show off in all their sexual glory. But, alas, most women come to the doctor not to get pleasure, but to be treated. So in this sense, male doctors will be disappointed. Later they calm down and just continue to work calmly.

Georgy, 32 years old, gynecologist, reproductive embryologist:
My father advised me to become a gynecologist. I always wanted to be just a surgeon. But my father assured me that at one time he himself did not dare only because this profession obliges him to bear responsibility not only for the patient, but also for his child, i.e. for two. Since school, I have been very shy and, to be honest, at first I resisted my father’s persuasion. I thought about how I could look my grandmother in the eyes when she asked who I had finally become. For a Caucasian man, this is generally a shameful topic. Suffice it to say that when I got ready to get married, my profession became one of the stumbling blocks for the father of my bride. He told her: you will live with a man who will be surrounded by women every day!

But I did not regret that I chose this specialty. My purely academic and medical attitude towards my chosen specialty helped me in this. Of course, there are women who various reasons I would like to get an appointment with a male gynecologist, but most of them (thank God) still feel a sense of shame, and if I behave “wrong,” I will simply lose my bread, my clientele. Over the years of work, I have already learned to behave in such a way with women that even those who, perhaps, were afraid to come to see me, after 10 minutes of conversation calm down 100%. At work - I’m not a man, I’m a doctor - an asexual being, and I personally can’t do it any other way! My personal opinion is that male gynecologists who are aroused by their patients should not be allowed to do such work at all. In this state, the head, to put it mildly, does not cook, and, therefore, instead of solving the problems with which they approached him, this doctor can only help with another issue (an issue that is addressed to completely different institutions). Honestly, I was scared (not by doctors) that in such a profession I would become impotent. And this worried me very much. I directly addressed this question to my female gynecologist friends. So they answered me in unison that most of the male gynecologists they know are not only impotent or homosexual, but even, in their opinion, on the contrary, sexually hyperactive. Later I experienced this myself...

Konstantin, 33 years old, obstetrician-gynecologist:
Why did you choose this specialty? I don’t even remember now - it was a long time ago, you know, Khrushchev leaves, Brezhnev comes, it’s difficult to get a job at a factory, no one takes you to a collective farm, and nearby there was a rural hospital with training courses for gynecologists, so I went there, graduated in 2 months and went to work... well, something like that (Laughs, narrowing his eyes slyly). Just kidding, of course. It just happened that way. I’m even surprised at myself, I was so shy! Of course, the specifics of the profession are reflected in intimate life, but, rather, in in a good way- I don’t want random connections, because... many beautiful girls have big problems with gynecology - in best case scenario STIs (sexually transmitted infections - author's note), at worst - HIV. But with regard to impotence, it is unlikely; impotence in men is caused by other reasons. Well, there wasn’t something like that - like sex in a gynecology office! The specificity of medicine is such that SICK people come to you who do not need sex, but a solution to their problems; test drives are discussed in car dealerships, not in technical centers! And so, some people like it as a person, some people don’t like it. Even towards the beautiful girls at the reception you don’t really feel any unprofessional feelings. There is no romance in the gynecological office! Affairs with patients among gynecologists are most likely less common than among doctors of other specialties (even less often, probably, only in psychiatry). The best option for dating - traumatologists...

Yuri, 42 years old, gynecologist:
How do I feel if I come to an appointment? beautiful woman? Nothing special. It is important to separate professional and personal. Then everything will be fine. The well-known Bykov (“Interns”) would make an excellent gynecologist. He, Bykov, is very close to me in spirit. Although, of course, anything happened in my youth, I won’t hide it. Eh, youth, youth... A member there, a member of the court... Over the years, professionalism came, which put everything in its place.

Vitaly, 33 years old, obstetrician-gynecologist:
What novels! Professionalism must come first. I've seen so many things that it's hard to surprise me with anything. A patient comes to us for an appointment, and we don’t perceive her as a woman. No, of course, we are not insensitive fools... I remember, as a student, I did an internship at antenatal clinic. I came to the reception very beautiful girl 19 years old. So she undressed SO! Apparently, especially for me. I couldn’t even take tests from her; I asked the doctor to do it for me. Why couldn't I? I just couldn’t get up... But that was a long time ago! I was very young then.

Eduard, 37 years old, gynecologist:
Back in my 2nd year of medical school, I was fascinated by the complexity and at the same time fragility of women. reproductive system. That’s when I decided – this is mine! It happened, of course, that a very beautiful girl came to the reception, and I, as a man, naturally had not entirely professional feelings for her. It even happened that there was not just excitement or desire, but also more... Women came who tried to flirt with me, but in such situations a robe saves me. In general, over time you become terribly squeamish, sensitive to smells, etc. But with a certain circle of patients, special relationships are established, built on mutual sympathy, respect, and understanding. I highlight them because each of them is unusual in some way. In me they find a friend who understands them more than others and can help with advice. We often talk at receptions, and this does not prevent us from often being in good relations with their husbands. But I also saw jealousy towards me - this is when the husband did not reach the level of development of his wife. In short, there was mental intimacy, and we both received a lot from this communication. I didn’t lead to sex (it went). Did my profession affect family life? I’ll say right away that it didn’t reflect negatively. But, firstly, it helped to better understand my spouse (I, too, am just a husband), and secondly, I began to present terribly high demands to, mmmm, an imaginary ideal.

So, based on the answers received from male gynecologists, here is what we can recommend. If you want to arouse not only professional, but also erotic interest in a doctor, then you need to choose someone who is just beginning his thorny path in gynecology. And if you just need to get to a smart doctor who doesn’t care what gender his patient is, then it’s better to go to a gynecologist with extensive experience: he’s already seen so much that you can be calm about the chastity of his actions, thoughts and fantasies.

Just finishing the article, I suddenly remembered a couple I knew - he is a gynecologist, and she is a urologist. They were so beautiful, prominent, and always looked good together. I kept thinking: how are they? intimate life after such work? But I was embarrassed to ask, it was still awkward. And recently I found out that they were divorced - she left her husband for her patient, whom she was treating for prostatitis...

My friend, when she first went to the gynecologist (I don’t remember, it was in the 8th grade), the aunty doctor, instead of asking a question like: “Aren’t you sexually active?”, asked her: “With whom “Do you live?”, to which my friend proudly replied: “Yes, with my mother!”

One aunt, forty years old, went to a proctologist for some need. He tells her: “Take off your pants, bend over and spread your arms.” The aunt took off her pants, bent down and (we should show it further, but I hope you will appreciate the situation) spread her arms, like they dance a Lady, wide, wide. It was a sight - the doctor crawled out of the office.

I also went to the gynecologist once...
Well, as always: “Come in, undress, sit on a chair...”
I climbed onto the chair, put my feet on the supports, but I don’t know where to put my hands. folded it on my stomach - uncomfortable. She folded it on her chest - well, just like a dead woman (pah-pah-pah)
And then I put my hands behind the back of my head.
The doctor turned around from the washbasin, looked at me and said:
-What... you might get a good sun lounger...

I’m a builder and we had to do dentistry, it’s a new thing and I approached this issue thoroughly, I studied everything thoroughly, but there are sophisticated chairs from abroad for them and water and air and sewerage and vacuum, motherfucker and electrician and something else, in general I’m worried, but we did it another hospital and I visited there sometimes and then I looked at the chairs in the office, and I went to the doctor with questions about what and how, and she told me, the young man in this chair is not tearing teeth, but performing abortions on women, a silent scene.

According to some incomprehensible law of meanness, they are very rarely found different sides barricades are people with similar views on life. Childfree in the relevant communities and forums cry about how society puts pressure on them, literally extorting their children from them. Evil gynecologists create obstacles to abortions and conduct propaganda on the topics “this is harmful” and “this is pathetic.” Oh, if we and those complaining exchanged doctors, everyone would be happy!

First positive test, visit to the gynecologist. Her first question:

Well, what about an abortion?

Why is this? - I’m taken aback. - A desired child, my health seems to allow it, hereditary diseases No…

Why so early? (Looks at the card.) 21 years old, single, student. You must first get on your feet, earn a decent living, and you can’t tie a man down with a child!

She shrugged her shoulders and did not go into the jungle of explanations about joint the decision taken and about justified trust in the father of the child, with whom they had lived together for four years at that time. I found another gynecologist, not so “caring,” and calmly carried her to term and gave birth to a daughter.

The second child is okay, no questions asked.

Well, abortion?

Deja vu. I remember the first time, I wonder:

But why? Two healthy children, stable family and financial situation, quite childbearing age... Now what?

The third child is not given maternity capital for him, only for the second one! Well, why do you need so many children? - the doctor explains, like a little girl.

She shrugged her shoulders again and went to register with another specialist. You'll want to laugh. It turns out that only the second child can be desired, because for him maternity capital give?

After 15 years of working as a gynecologist, I got used to everything. AND foreign objects pulled out, and waited for ten minutes until the lady remembered when her last critical days there were, and the spirals met for twenty years... Two points just can’t fit into my head.

First: a cycle is something closed. Why do two thirds of women answer the question “What is the length of the cycle?” answer: “Three or four days”?

Second: why do ladies climb onto the gynecological chair naked from the waist down, but wearing fur hats?

From different women in white coats, I learned that men are absolutely forbidden to tell anything about their “women’s” health; what happens in her office is a secret behind seven seals. A man doesn’t need to know that I have erosion, he still won’t understand anything, and if he understands, he will definitely leave me, because he will decide that I am flawed, since something is wrong with me. Stories from life began pouring in about how a woman had her uterus removed in the hospital, and she told her husband that she was just going to get treatment.

An emergency operation happened to me - so the doctors on rounds kicked the guy out into the corridor: what if he heard that I had a double female organ has become unpaired and will quit! The fact that he already knew was not taken into account.

Then it’s completely unpleasant. My now husband came with me to the hospital by ambulance and waited in the waiting room. When it turned out that my bleeding was a miscarriage, they tied me to a chair before the procedure and said a bunch of things that I, numb with fear and surprise, not only did not understand, but also did not hear. When I asked my husband to repeat the same thing at the reception, all the staff made scary eyes and said that this was impossible. He, @#$, was told that I was being examined, but what actually happened to me, he found out from me over the phone after I had undergone anesthesia.

What is this anyway? Is that a concern? State project to reduce the statistics of breakups and divorces?

I don’t know about you, but if my man is cowardly giving in to difficulties related to my health and fertility in particular, I want to know this as soon as possible, because I don’t need him for such a gift. If a person is afraid of problems, then sooner or later it will come out. And if he wants to find a “problem-free” one, then it’s better to find out about this at 19, when you have only photos in common on vacation, and not at 35, when you already have two children and a mortgage.

Good afternoon. Yes, I'm a young guy. Yes, I recently graduated from medical school. Yes, I'm a gynecologist. How sick of some people around me I am! “You probably have impotence; such abundance will melt away any interest in the opposite sex”; "concerned"; “teenage complexes” is the mildest thing I regularly hear from my friends, lawyers and middle managers. I’m just keeping quiet about “keep your hands warm.” Just like the fact that women are more likely to die terrible death, than turn to a male specialist.

I think you will be surprised to know how many women leave my office every day satisfied with their examination and treatment. I assure you that many of them are not so happy with my female colleagues, because we, male specialists, treat women much more carefully and delicately. So your jokes and jokes got old a long time ago. It’s just insulting - especially in the presence of your other halves.

And I wish my dear ladies health - mental and physical.

Walking around the expanses of these Internets of yours, sometimes you just want to curse: “Women, what fools you are!”

I, a physician by training, needed to find a description of one hormonal contraceptive- there was no reference book at hand. The devil pulled me to look not only at pharmacological sites, but also at women’s forums. I thought I'd have some fun...

Let's start with the fact that three-quarters of the ladies do not know how to spell the word “gynecologist” (although it is usually displayed in capital letters in the “header” of the site). It turns out that the letters “i” and “e” can form so many combinations! Literacy is generally bad: the question “Is it possible to cum on a porter?” blew me away. Girl, finish third grade before having sex and using protection!

Most frequently asked question: “Advise something, otherwise there’s no time to go to the doctor.” Do you have time to sit on the forum? It’s a nice thing when one clueless whore advises another like her hormonal drug. She knows better than a certified specialist who has studied this for at least eight years. “Take it, it helps me well” or even “Yes, it will help everyone - it helped me.” Certainly. And I’ll write that an ax is good for the head, and I’ll see what comes of it.

“What are you talking about, there are so many side effects! I will never buy these pills." Have you tried drinking them? Of course, few people know that once noted when taking the drug during trials side effect is included in the list, but to assume that your liver and stomach cannot simultaneously fall off, all the hair on your body fall out, gain extra pounds and grow a mustache, is it possible? Such a drug simply would not have been put on the market.

Dear women masterfully invent new regimens for using drugs because “it’s more convenient,” they give advice that would make even the miracle doctor Malakhov’s bald head sweat, they recommend contraception using the “Indian method,” because it’s simple and you don’t need to take anything - in short, They do all possible stupid things instead of going to the doctor normally and getting a consultation.

There are, of course, literate people on the forums - they write sensible things without errors (the most sensible, of course, is to write at the end of a detailed message that it is better to personally consult a specialist), but there are so few of them! And about the rest I really want to say that women are fools. They won't believe it.

A friend of mine went to see a lady's doctor the other day. I had been postponing the visit for a long time, and as a result, it waited until the New Year. I must say, the clinic is expensive, the equipment is modern, the patients are licked from head to toe and they are catered to in every possible way - so that they leave more money...

Well, I went into the office, this and that, we talked about life, got acquainted with the complaints, collected an anamnesis, then - verbatim:

Come behind the screen, undress, let's look!

And the chair is super-sophisticated, it goes up and down smoothly, like on a hydraulic booster, the knee pads are wide, comfortable, (NOT COLD, a disposable diaper “to match the color of the eyes”, shoe covers on the legs... Damn, I would lie in it and relax after working day...

But! In anticipation New Year's holidays(and, obviously, to create a festive mood in the patients) is entwined with a blinking garland with multi-colored lights... A second stupor, then spontaneously:

Damn, doctor, you don't have a damn thing on you here!..

The doctor couldn’t begin the examination for another five minutes - she was laughing along with the nurse...

God bless doctors with imagination, as well as their patients!))))

I am a gynecologist. One day while on duty, at night, at about four o’clock, I was called into the emergency room to see a patient. In the examination room I am met completely drunk and absolutely naked girl 18 years old, standing, staggering and holding onto the wall.

I, doctor, immediately undressed so that you could look at me.

What hurts?

What happened, why did you come? - I ask.

Answers:

I was told to come here so the doctor could look at me.

Who said?

At the antenatal clinic.

Naturally, I watch it - no problem, everything is fine. I'm starting to clarify:

When was your consultation?

Just now.

And she said: “We were walking in a large group at my house and at about 2 o’clock in the morning my stomach hurt, my friend and I took a taxi to the antenatal clinic. We knocked on the doors for a long time, the door was opened by some
man. I said that my stomach hurt and that he should look at me. At first he refused, but I gave him a hundred rubles and he agreed. He took me into the office, looked at me for a long time, and then said: YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR, GO TO THE HOSPITAL!!! I immediately went here, and my stomach stopped hurting..."

…… I couldn’t speak, I just waved my hand, saying, go home.
Needless to say, at the antenatal clinic at 2 am there is only a guard...

- Doctor, every morning I find a small postage stamp in my vagina. Look, I’ve already typed a whole album.
- These are not stamps, but banana stickers. Here's a referral to an ophthalmologist. Next.

Medicine is a klondike of funny, strange and instructive stories, especially when it comes to reproductive health women. We read what doctors say from their experience.

Complaint.
"...Please involve a laboratory assistant in criminal liability because she gave me a “tripper,” but I’m an old virgin and I can’t have a “tripper.”
Tripelphosphates were detected in urine analysis under microscopy.

Friends, you cheered me up! Virgins are like that!

Old virgin? With this in the analysis, it’s most likely an elderly saleswoman! What kind of idiocy is this? If you do, then use a microscope! It was discovered under microscopy. “This is not mine, it was planted on me” By God, like children.

The sand is just pouring out from the old maid, and there is no clap!

In addition, siliceous, silicate, oxide, sulfide and carbonate ores were discovered. I demand their enrichment.

An unfucked woman is always a fierce horror of the brain. There is so much that the Russian gynecologist has not seen and heard enough about. It’s good that I didn’t go to gynecology at one time!

Stupid stupid. It would be better to check your kidneys.

Now the laboratory assistant will have to marry her. The virgin’s pussy was clean, but after analyzing it, they found it!

It is easier for the authorities to imprison the laboratory assistant than to try to make a refutation.

Almost off topic: - Doctor, I have lime in my lungs, sand in my kidneys, stones in my liver. Tell me where I have cement, and I will start building!

I ask you to conduct a forced educational program against the applicant, and also write on the card: if the doctor said to the morgue, then to the morgue.

Old honorary virgin of the Ust-Zhopinsky region! Chairman of the Council of Virgins at the House of Trade Unions. Her hymen won the hymen competition in 1968. How could a gynecologist allow this to happen?

1812 The young count returned from the war and brought clap. Called the doctor:
- Albertushka, help me out! There’s a wedding in a month with a young rich countess, and suddenly this happens.
- Count, there is only one way - he lives near St. Petersburg
An 80-year-old grandmother is a virgin, you need to go to her and fuck her three times.
- Albertushka, are you out of your mind? How can I? Maybe there is another remedy?
- Alas, Count...
A month has passed.
A cheerful, healthy count bursts into the doctor’s room and begins to shower the doctor with gifts and money:
- Albertushka, how wonderful life is, my young wife is super, I’m healthy, everything is wonderful!
Just tell me, Albertushka, how is it that with the help of sex with an old woman I was cured?
- You see, Count, someday it will be called penicillin.

I took care of my grandmother, 84 years old. Since I am a medical worker, my relatives asked us to do urine in our laboratory. We are very strict (only for our own people), I asked her to do the urine for mine. Now I walk in front of the laboratory assistants with my head down (whatever happened there, I was almost buried with such an analysis). So I understand that the gynecologist has seen a lot.

And why is everyone laughing? It's not funny. Well, I confused it with gonorrhea, well, kidney stones, so what?

How scary do you have to be to remain an old virgin?

- “Better late than never,” said the old maid and resolutely sat down on a nail.” I’ll tell you other things about virgins as a doctor with 25 years of experience!

Why does she want to prosecute a poor laboratory assistant for her tests?

Yesterday, one granny with suspected pelvic cancer refused to do an ultrasound with an intravaginal sensor, like, she’s an old virgin and proud of it. Granny is 70 years old.

The court decided to extend the period of virginity for another ten years.

There you already need a jackhammer, not a small sensor.

Maybe it's hers life principles- remained faithful to her lover who died in the war, for example. Many of my patients, virgins of the old school, justified their innocence. I even admire some of them.

I know such a woman. Very worthy man and good appearance. She worked in the hospital all her life, from its foundation.

As a rule, penicillin is found in smears of old virgins.

You want to poke such complainers with your face like a kitten. If you don't know, ask before you complain and make an idiot out of yourself. Wangyu, she is an exclusively anal virgin. And that’s not a fact.

It’s precisely such complaints that one can only laugh at, something else is much worse. They often complain about me that I wake you up early on rounds and don’t let you sleep, I’m such a bitch. This is what makes me want to poke my face.

I work at a university. This year, they underwent a medical examination not at the clinic, as always, but right here. An agreement was concluded with some office. We have a librarian, 74 years old, widow. A urine test revealed sperm. Now her colleagues are making fun of her.

How did the survey results become known to your colleagues? Has medical confidentiality been abolished?

An old virgin wanted to have sex and fucked someone else's brain as a partner. Virgins at the gynecologist are always scary. They sublimate sex with the brains of those around them.

Chicken after a medical examination: “Three feathers, tripper! Well, what three feathers when I’m covered in fluff!”

The same story happened to my friend, a laboratory doctor. Also the indignation of one lady (though, judging by the appearance, there was no trace of virginity there since the third grade), but the complaint about the “tripper” was present.

For modern medicine it's not a problem.

This is the whole point, that no one is responsible for anything. And if you perceive everything without humor and healthy cynicism, then in our time you can go off the rails or burn out thoroughly. Moreover, at an appointment with a gynecologist there are such shots!

The diagnosis was written in abbreviation humen nana - translated into Russian - a dad is needed ( infectious diseases, dwarf tapeworm).

Answer: “See you in court, virgin!”

Please explain for a non-medic!

Tripper is a synonym for the causative agent of gonorrhea, and tripelphosphates are a type of salts from which calculi (stones) are formed in the kidneys. The lady confused sexually transmitted diseases with quarry in the body. Very beautiful salts, by the way. These are the coffins.

Make the complaint public, let everyone know!

Well, there’s nothing to remember in which closet the skeleton is hidden!

I went for an ultrasound of the pelvic organs. Virgins undergo a regular ultrasound, and girls leading sex life, transvaginal. It's quite not pleasant procedure, that's why I said I was a virgin. It turned out that I was pregnant. You should have seen the doctor's eyes!

Immaculate Conception after all!

Usually they look transrectally, right? Or, as far as I know, a virgin's vagina without damage hymen can accept modern sensor. They're tiny!

Someone had a fun trip to the doctor!

The ambulance dispatcher is talking on the phone:
- “Woman, don’t scream, speak clearly, he’s fucked up - did he fall or went crazy?”

I just wanted to write! Such patients are always examined transrectally!

She's probably more pinned across the backyard.

I read individual comments and really learn a lot for the first time. The stories of virgins generally finish off! Well, people, well, there are no brains!

And the doctor told me: “Wait, wait
After all, you can hardly be found more virgin!
And the holy spirit quietly smiled nearby.
Or Tolyan, I don’t remember what his name was.

Somehow it seems to me that this girl is not the first time the ultrasound doctor has had an ultrasound, and he’s already heard enough of such stories that she’s a virgin and blah blah. Therefore, about the doctor’s eyes is most likely a fiction.

The doctor has such virgins in batches. It’s especially touching when they have symptoms. venereal diseases experienced givers.

This is what they expect when they lie to a doctor? Liars, damn it, of all times and peoples.

- “You should have seen the doctor’s eyes.” Stopudovo, I could barely restrain myself from knocking on his impudent, deceitful face.

Dare I ask, did she have an unpleasant transvaginal pregnancy, or what? Or a medical unique - a virgin gave it and was left with the film?

This happens. The hymen can be so elastic that it breaks only during childbirth. It’s not clear why there is a need to be afraid of a transvaginal sensor.

What nonsense? They look from the inside to see if the bladder is empty. Well, that's how it is in our city.

Immaculate Conception! We'll have to create our own religion!

Getting pregnant is a pleasant procedure, but an ultrasound in the same place that got you pregnant is very unpleasant. Grown women, and they deal with such garbage at doctor’s appointments! Well, you lost your virginity - don’t break down already! Moreover, there are procedures that are much more unpleasant. And according to the law of karma, they threaten the author. At least childbirth!

The doctor’s eyes are already accustomed to such fools with the Immaculate Conception. And yet they still need it to be pleasant.

It’s unpleasant when they press on your stomach when you’re full of urine, and then they push a thin thing in there, that’s all.

It was precisely about this procedure that my mother complained to her friend that the doctor put a glove on the ultrasound stick instead of a condom. I was extremely unhappy. And the girl, maybe, had something even worse.

Is transvaginal ultrasound an unpleasant procedure? Yes, I would go every week.

This girl was deprived of her virginity during a previous transvaginal ultrasound. And the sperm from the sensor is from a previous patient. That's what you need to tell your mom. I read how one mother started a lawsuit with a Turkish hotel - her daughter became pregnant from the water in the pool. It’s good that no signs of sexually transmitted diseases were found. The water in the pool, codenamed Ahmed, was taking care of itself.

It's a normal procedure there. Eliminate the suffering! What's unpleasant about it?

We had one lady from an enterprise cross out an examination with a gynecologist from her examination sheet during a medical examination - like, she had unnecessary specialists crossed out at the reception desk. Everyone around is fools, and one is smart, but she doesn’t know that an examination by a gynecologist is mandatory.

What could be pleasant about such an ultrasound? But patience is not a problem. Damn, the loss of virginity that the girl experienced was a much more unpleasant procedure.

- “It turned out that I was a man. Imagine the doctor’s surprise.”

What's unpleasant about it? It feels like something like putting an apple in your underpants and lying there.

That is, lying down for 5 minutes while the doctor carefully moves the probe “inside” is horribly unpleasant, but drinking 2 liters of water and then going crazy with the desire to piss yourself while they examine you “outside” is a truly heavenly sensation.

It gives off some kind of delusion. Well, I lost my virginity, well, I’m pregnant, but what could be especially unpleasant about the transvaginal examination procedure?

There, just in a Turkish hotel, a certain Aladdin was working in the pool, whose ancestor received a magic invisibility ring from a genie.

- “What happened and in what connection,
The girl walks to the ultrasound,
Bypassing men
And she has five reasons for this:
The first reason is me
And the second one is all my friends,
You can’t say it out loud about the next three,
In principle, the first two are enough for her..."

It is, of course, alive and warm, better than a cold sensor. But you can’t be such a bitch!

Everything secret becomes clear. Ashamed.

I went for an ultrasound of the pelvic organs. The ultrasound did not find the basin. What's wrong with me?

Mom argued that the hotel administration does not change the water in the pool, so paternity cannot be established.

I would rather have a vaginal ultrasound than drink water and barely make it to the toilet while they press a sensor on my stomach!

I don't think there were any special "eyes" there. Gynecologists have a lot of such pregnant virgins. Every second girl at the gynecologist tells such amazing stories about how she became pregnant either from the water in the pool or from the holy spirit.

How did she get pregnant if the procedure was so unpleasant?

You've probably heard the expression "I have and I cry."

A very pleasant procedure. As in the joke: “Doctor, can you do it twice around the school”?

I had it better. Came for an examination at private clinic, bought an inspection kit (spreader, gloves, etc.). But the doctor didn’t take the dilator, she carefully picks at something, then says, “What a great fellow you are, I very rarely see girls at 17 years old, I need to take care of my honor,” and stuff like that. Well, I had to say that I was 4 months pregnant, I didn’t really want to get into the wrong place. Those were the eyes! Nothing, we had a laugh with her. Another would probably run away complaining about the insults. Well, another funny thing is that not a single doctor can detect a suture on my uterus on an ultrasound. Who knows - good or bad.

Well, I had a 14-year-old ward. And yet, yes, she’s a virgin, she’s still pregnant, she’s done it. Moreover, her mother realized it around the 23rd week. The girl herself was sure that if there was “no blood,” it would be impossible to get pregnant.

Parthenogenesis?

It depends on what kind of enterprise. And in general, I’m just wondering what kind of place should I work in, so that I can’t get by with an oral consultation with a gynecologist?

At our medical examination, the gynecologist always conducts a real examination. And you need to go through it first. And no, we do not work in this place.

Ultrasound does not detect a suture on the uterus.

This is all great, but why impose this inspection on everyone? Really, dangerous infections A blood test will reveal it, but some minor pathologies should be the concern of the woman herself.

You - yes, but someone - no. Actually, that’s what medical examinations are for. For example, it is during medical examinations that some are prescribed treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, because the woman herself does not go to the gynecologist until the last minute. Unfortunately, these are common cases.

Someone's poor health- a problem of a person, not an organization. And for everything that is dangerous to others, they are tested.

Wrong. The state has a different concept. And this is quite reasonable. You're just not in the know, that's why you don't understand

And in order to get a cyst on the ovaries, which place should be treated?

Our gynecologist never feels our breasts. I'm very saddened by this.

A cyst is such a thing that you may not be able to wait until it is examined once a year. You have to watch this yourself. In some cases, a consultation with a gynecologist is generally necessary once a month.

And what's so unpleasant about it? Not sigmoidoscopy. There are so many strange people in the world!

It seems to me that the fear of such research is a sexual problem. Even at the gynecologist I felt very uncomfortable. A sexologist helped me resolve this problem. Although I was so upset at first! I even cried and was hysterical. Nothing, everything's gone.

And they make big, big eyes (“virgins”, I mean). What, I’ve already forgotten what sex is! Ultrasound shows 5-6 weeks of pregnancy. Funny.

I was already tested once in the hospital. It hurt for three days. I can do without such happiness. After this and after the stories of those around me, I recognize only paid gynecologists. Crazy money, of course, but everything is neat, attentive, and convenient time. That’s why I think that every woman should think about her own health.

Some girls surprise me. Doing an ultrasound is painful, touching the ovaries is painful for three days. How do you have sex, with moans, “oh, oh, it hurts?”

To the doctor’s amazement, if it really was amazement, he had to answer: Yes, yes! I know! An angel has already descended from heaven with the news of the second coming!

A girl's brain is innocent and unclouded. They saw it. What do I need, I’ll put a rectal cavity sensor in, if it’s “virgo”, business! Rectally it is also visible well. Well, let's look at the men's prostate rectally, what a problem. Abdominal even with full bladder It is not always possible to see everything for a reliable conclusion. Refuses - her signature for refusing abdominal examination. And yes, I won’t be surprised. So, let's have a laugh with my colleagues over tea. Sincerely yours, ultrasound doctor.

Is a smear also an “oral consultation”? Order No. 302-n: “All women are examined by an obstetrician-gynecologist with bacteriological (for flora) and cytological (for atypical cells) examinations at least once a year; women over the age of 40 undergo mammography or ultrasound once every 2 years mammary glands."

There is a simple way out - paid medicine, I do an ultrasound in paid clinic, you just go to the reception desk, pay the rate for whatever sensor you want, or all at once, and you don’t have to lie, and the doctor knows what to look for.

Undergoing a periodic medical examination is an employee’s obligation in the field of labor protection under the legislation of the Russian Federation, and not a right. Arranging for a medical examination is the responsibility of the employer. If the employer turns a blind eye to this, it means that he has simply never been punished for violating labor protection.

That's what I'm saying - they're shouting about rights and freedoms on every corner. But no one cares about responsibilities, even though they should. It’s unlikely that anyone forgets about the right to vacation and vacation pay, but they somehow don’t remember about their responsibilities. So, it is necessary to remind. Or oblige in some other way. Well, for example, make a medical book mandatory not for some individual professions, but for every citizen. If the office is not created for one day, she will make sure that it is then former employees they didn’t terrorize us with lawsuits, they earned it invisible to the eye disability due to inflammation of the left heel while hunching over at this enterprise.

Work from home - good option for example, for young mothers or people with health problems (social phobia, for example). He can work at home, but not in the office. At the same time, does a delayed medical examination among homeworkers create a threat to other people? Creates. Well, just like that, he’ll go to the store, take a walk, or somewhere else, pick up something contagious, infect the child, send him to kindergarten, school, and he re-infects everyone there. Well, or go visit your neighbors. Therefore, it would be logical to introduce mandatory medical books. Although homeworkers have the same rights as non-homeworkers, I know this.

This is a consultation with a gynecologist! Why lie about integrity? I don’t understand these ladies.

Now I will scold patients, and this despite the fact that I am a patient myself. One day I should have done something very unpleasant procedure(which I have never done before). And then I was in the hospital. Well, the doctor prescribed this procedure for me in three days. And I had the imprudence to tell several people from my room and neighboring ones that it was assigned to me, and now I need to prepare for it, all persimmon. As a result, they began to tell what kind of heroes they were, how they suffered, what feelings they experienced, while each tried to intimidate in his own way, telling in every detail how and what was done to them, how they moaned, lay there, and so on. I listened, listened, and gave up on these babbles, because they were bullied. I didn’t communicate with them for three days before the procedure, and then in the end it turned out that the devil was not as scary as he was painted to be. But because of such talkers, imaginary self-proclaimed “hero-martyrs,” some people’s hearts give out from fear even before the procedure.

On the one hand, such a massive “forcible” referral of females to a gynecologist or midwife may seem somewhat unpleasant and “ko-ko-ko, violating my rights,” but on the other hand, there are persons, for example, medieval grandmothers or even aunts years ago 50, which you can’t get to the doctor in any other way. “I’ve been single for 15 years, the man died, everything there has already atrophied,” and then - dammit - cervical cancer at some already unpleasant stage. And besides the fact that the patient may go to the next world, the doctor will also go to the carpet for not paying attention, not persuading, and ruining the beauty of the indicators.

Well, not everyone likes to have sex with a jackhammer or woodpecker.

On the one hand, the procedure is indeed not pleasant, but if it is necessary to assess the condition of the organ, then it is necessary. Let's say cystoscopy is much, much more unpleasant. On the other hand, the obligatory medical examination by the gynecologist has been lifted, but nothing can be done about it - for our state, a woman is just a uterus on legs. Now, if men had their prostates checked every year, many women would not be so indignant.

That's how they should check. But the men diligently mow.

As far as I remember, citizens have a right to medicine, not an obligation. To be vigilant or not to vigilant over your reproductive (and not only) health is nothing more than a right, sneeze, how many extra heads the state wants.

It will be a surprise for her if she plans to give birth. They will study it from all sides.

Oh, what a surprise awaits a girl in labor! But what am I talking about? It’s unpleasant to give birth; most likely, you’ll end up having an abortion. But abortion is also unpleasant. The lady has a stalemate, a stalemate! A banal examination by a gynecologist in comparison with her, and even a transvaginal ultrasound - these are just toys!

Vital. I remember in my first year we were examined and out of some fear they wrote on the cover of the card whether she was a virgin or not. And when I said “yes,” the doctor looked at me as if I were strange and said, “Why? You’re not scary.” I still don’t understand why the university was interested in the film between the students’ legs.
- Fine. Do not allow yourself to be examined by a doctor because you are in pain. index finger a woman's hand, but from a man's penis with a length of 12 cm and a thickness of at least twice as thick is normal for you, because you are excited.

I used to do ultrasound a little. The men made faces when they gave the memo, and it says - take a condom with you!

I’ll ask something stupid, but if a virgin says that she’s not a virgin, then what will happen?

What's so unpleasant? Looking like an idiot is much more unpleasant! The usual procedure. It seems to me that there are procedures that are much more unpleasant.

So, how to lose your virginity with a penis is normal. How to do an ultrasound - is it unpleasant? I just don’t understand women!

What funny stories happened to you at an appointment with a gynecologist?