Most celebrities try not to advertise the state of their health, but many openly declare their problems, talk about treatment and their victory over dire prognoses. This inspires and gives strength to thousands of people to fight cancer, makes them believe in own strength and gives hope for the best.
Emanuel Vitorgan
The actor did not know about his diagnosis until the moment he got back on his feet after surgery. In 1987, he was admitted to the hospital, and his first wife, Alla Balter, asked the doctors to tell her husband that he had tuberculosis. Emmanuil Gedeonovich admits: if he had known about his illness, his nerves would have been exposed. And so he fought with the hope of recovery and was able to win.
Andrey Gaidulyan
The star actor stoically accepted the news of his illness in the summer of 2015. He didn’t give up and urgently left for treatment in specialized clinic in Germany. German doctors confirmed the diagnosis: lymphoma (oncological disease of the lymphatic tissue). He fought for his life all autumn, and on February 14, 2016, he already appeared on the stage of the theater, and soon the previously postponed filming began. In the spring of 2016, Andrei Gaidulyan publicly announced that lymphoma had been defeated.
Laima Vaikule
The singer was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1991. The disease was discovered in her already at a stage when doctors could not promise anything. The chance of survival was only 20%. At first, the star gave up, fell into depression and was seriously preparing for death. But common sense triumphed over depression. The singer agreed to the operation, which was successful. Laima Vaikule was able to rethink her entire life and now constantly helps cancer patients not to lose faith in themselves and in their victory.
Boris Korchevnikov
The television presenter learned about the tumor after an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scan. According to the presenter himself, he was seriously preparing for death, in a hurry to finish everything important matters. Fortunately, the operation was performed on time, and further studies of the tumor showed that it was benign.
Joseph Kobzon
He has been fighting the disease virtually since 2002. Every day, without giving up even for a second. He has his own recipe for staying in shape, no matter what. No matter how bad he feels, no matter how depressed he is by depression and the fear of dying at any second, he must get up and walk, do useful things, not allow himself to spend time idly or just lie in bed. And then the disease simply won’t have a chance.
Irina Saltykova
The singer learned about the disease at the age of 30. She was not afraid to die, but she was afraid that her loved ones would not be able to survive her loss. Thoughts about her daughter supported her faith in healing. She believed that she would be cured. But he still cannot talk about the disease, although more than 20 years have passed.
Alexander Buynov
One can only envy the singer’s self-control and restraint. Upon learning that he was diagnosed with cancer, the singer calmly went to the clinic for surgery. Everyone was worried about him, only he himself was calm. When asked about his well-being, Alexander just grins, saying that something was cut out of him. male line. But the performer does not forget to coquettishly emphasize: along the same lines, everything is normal for him.
Svetlana Surganova
She was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 30. She struggled for several years and always believed that she would live. Only fifth abdominal surgery ended in complete victory over the disease. After recovery, Svetlana always encourages you to consult a doctor in a timely manner. She herself waited until the last minute before going to the hospital, although she had noticed the signs of oncology for a long time.
Valentin Yudashkin
The famous fashion designer found out about his illness in the fall of 2016 and immediately rushed into battle with the disease. Fortunately, his disease was discovered on early, which gave a very high chance of winning. Valentin Yudashkin consciously made the decision to undergo treatment in his homeland, which he never regretted. Already in March 2017, he announced his full recovery. He knew for sure that he was able to survive thanks to the support of his wife, daughter, and his friends. And I especially thanked Philip Kirkorov for his support.
Shura (Alexander Medvedev)
From a shocking singer terrible disease manifested itself alarm bells in the form unpleasant dreams And pain. A visit to the doctor sounded like a death sentence: testicular cancer. The singer abandoned all his ambitions, left the stage for a while, underwent surgery to remove a testicle and 18 courses of chemotherapy. He spent 7 years of his life and a lot of money on his treatment. I rethought what was happening and in 2014, together with Svetlana Surganova, recorded the composition “Prayer”. He considers the singer to be a sister in misfortune, miraculously healed, like himself.
Unfortunately, the fight against the disease is not always successful. Let us recall that on November 22, 2017, the famous baritone who had a brain tumor died in London.
Children are sick. This is fine. Acute respiratory infections and acute respiratory viral infections, chickenpox, mumps, even meningitis, measles and scarlet fever - the diagnoses are unpleasant, but not very scary - there are clear treatment, and they usually recover fairly quickly.
And there are truly scary diagnoses:
- they look like a surname after the word “syndrome” - Down, Rhett, Williams, Smith-Magenis, Steven-Johnson, etc.
- or as abbreviations: cerebral palsy, UO, ZPR, ZPRR, ADHD
- or as familiar words like “autism”, “schizophrenia”, “imbecility”, “leukemia”, “lymphoma”, etc.
- or how unknown to anyone and this makes even more frightening the words of the rarest diseases.
Finding out this about your child, especially for people who grew up in an aggressive, intolerant society, is a grief. Grief is a state that a person finds himself in when he loses something very important to himself.
In the case of a terrible diagnosis for a child, a person often loses all or some of this:
FEELING OF SAFETY, finds himself in danger of the child’s life and his own;
FEELING OF STABILITY AND DEFINITENESS, just now everything was clear and suddenly the situation changed, changed sharply and dramatically, new unknown data appeared in it, many unknowns!
IMAGE OF THE FUTURE, falls into a state of uncertainty about the future, just yesterday we were planning something, dreaming, getting ready, but now what next?
YOURSELF IMAGE, YOUR IDENTITY. For example, this: “I am a parent healthy child", "I - good parent", "I am prosperous successful person”, “I am the one who can cope with any situation”, “I am the one who never loses heart” and even “I am the one who is always lucky”, etc. There can be very different identities that suffer when faced with a terrible diagnosis. None of us have ever dreamed about the identity of “parent of a disabled child” or “parent of a terminally ill child,” or even the identity of “parent of a premature child.” Accepting such a role is very difficult and scary. Giving up your former identity is bitter and terrible.
If a person has lost something, he begins to grieve. Researchers say that the grieving process includes stages such as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Despair/Sadness, Acceptance. Their passage does not necessarily occur in this order. We will not delve into theory now.
After all, if a person experiences grief, he has no time complex theory, not up to smart words. It is very difficult for him to remain calm and soberly assess the situation and choose reasonable steps. A person loses the ability to think critically and begins to rush around in search of a refutation of the diagnosis or “ magic pill”, which will quickly save his child from this terrible diagnosis.
This is fine! Our psyche cannot tolerate uncertainty, that is, it cannot be in it long time, always strives to find support, stability, clarity and a way out, a solution, a plan of action.
The more unexpected the news of the diagnosis was for a person, the less clear it is, the less clarity in treatment and prognosis, the higher the likelihood that the news will come as a shock to the parent and will be perceived by his psyche as traumatic. The main emotion in this case is fear. Fear for the life of the child (now and in the future) and your own with such a child. This fear is animal horror. Such strong fear disables or weakens functions frontal lobes brain, which are responsible for planning. Control is taken over by a more ancient, and therefore more strong part brain - the limbic system, which has only 3 options: fight, flight or freeze.
A person experiencing shock falls into one of these states or into each of them alternately. How does this manifest itself?
BAY: a person reacts to the words and actions of others and to events aggressively, excessively and inappropriately to the situation; any little thing causes him irritation or an outburst of aggression, or tears, sobbing, which is difficult to cope with.
RUN: a person tries to get away from problems and overwhelming tasks, as if to run away, hide his head in the sand “I don’t want to know anything, I don’t want to decide anything, I want to sleep and wake up, and all this horror has disappeared” or physically runs away - from the family, from the child, to own illness and helplessness.
Or, on the contrary, he gets involved in violent chaotic activity - urgently, faster, save, run, time is running out! A person is tossed from side to side, he rushes in panic between doctors, healers, osteopaths, homeopaths, various specialists and charlatans, sells property, gets into colossal debts to pay for the services of all these people, sometimes rushes around the world, unwisely wasting all his resources and family resources.
FREEZE: the person seems to be disconnected from what is happening, reacts weakly to external stimuli, if you persistently tease him, he answers “huh? What? yeah." With his body he is here, but with his thoughts somewhere far/deep or nowhere, in a ringing void.
By these signs you can determine that a person is in shock or a post-shock state in which he is stuck. He needs help, preferably help professional psychologists who know how to work with shock trauma. It is important for others to understand that the main thing a person in this state needs is the return of calm, stability and the ability to think clearly and make informed decisions. It is quite difficult to appeal to his logic, appeal to the voice of reason, try to explain something and (re)convince something - the highest mental functions weakened, because limbic system turned on full power siren SOS! ALARM! Can you be calm, think clearly and make smart decisions in a room where the fire siren is blaring and the emergency lights are flashing? What if you have been locked in this room for a month, a year, several years? Introduced? What is the main task in such a situation? Right. Turn off the siren and lights.
In order to do this, you need to turn not so much to the mind as to the body. Only the whole body is our more powerful partner, capable of calming the limbic system, that is, resisting the ancient structures of our brain and returning us control and the ability to think clearly.
Therefore, it is important for a person to come to the maximum possible at the moment calm state before making any decisions related to the child. And the main task of a helping specialist (doctor, psychologist, other professional) or a loved one nearby is to help the parent return to a state of calm.
In addition to fear, parents experience many other difficult experiences. Learn more about them and how you can help in a video story about the concept of helping parents of “special” children of the “Special Resource” project, which we called “Exit from the Labyrinth of Powerlessness.”
The most terrible diagnosis
... The session was going on. A student I knew stopped by with a textbook under her arm. Her eyes were large and frightened. “Oh, girls, I just read Oncology. And it seems to me that I have cancer of everything!”
An attack of cancerophobia (“fear of cancer”), familiar to many medical students, overtook the girl just before the exam. Before that, to be honest, she rarely looked at the textbook. And then it’s written there...
But for mere mortals who are not knowledgeable in medicine, it is even worse - under the veil of mystery that is usually used to cover this diagnosis, everything only looks worse. Doctors have special words and designations for it that are incomprehensible to patients. “Look, just be quiet,” says the teacher to the students crowded into the room. And after 5 minutes everyone in the room knows that the old lady is doomed. Except herself.
It is difficult to say what more harm or benefit has come from the custom in our medicine of hiding the terrible truth. In the West, there was a different point of view on this matter: the patient must know everything in order to put in order, firstly, the papers, and secondly, the relationship with God. But despite these differences, humanity is united in its determination to defeat cancer. Since oncological diseases as a cause of death they rank second after cardiovascular diseases. So, if anyone is unlucky enough to die from a heart attack, then... 
But there is no need to panic. Cancer is not a predator that suddenly attacks you from ambush. Knowing what it is and where it comes from, you can minimize the risk of the disease.
As you know, all cells of the body are constantly renewed. A tumor begins when one of the cells breaks down in the part of the genetic apparatus that regulates reproduction, and it gets out of control. The main cause of DNA damage is chemical carcinogens(substances, causing cancer). “Terrible and terrible” radiation lags far behind them in this regard.
On initial stage the tumor hardly shows itself at all. Therefore, they often turn to a doctor when it’s too late... As the tumor grows, changes in the cells continue, they seem to “fall into childhood”, they stop fulfilling their normal function and respond to body signals. The connections between them are weakened, some of them, breaking off, are carried through the blood and lymph to other organs - metastases (secondary tumor foci) occur. A growing tumor compresses nearby organs, sometimes grows into them, and in addition, absorbs like a parasite. necessary for the body nutrients, poisons him with the products of his vital activity and, in the end, simply “eats” the person.
Well, enough horror. Of course, all this time immune system is not idle. The vast majority of "wrong" cells are destroyed immediately after they appear. Can you imagine, according to WHO, every 8 minutes a cancer cell. What would we do if it weren't for our immune system? It’s not for nothing that it was at a seminar on immunology that the thought that God exists for the first time occurred to me. It’s hard to imagine that such an ingenious mechanism arose on its own...
In general, the first thing you should do for prevention is to strengthen your immune system. How? Moreover, at school we took: healthy image life, sports, hardening, balanced diet. By the way, it is now considered very harmful to “roast” on the beach for a long time - solar radiation reduces immunity and has a bad effect on the skin. Doctors advocate wide-brimmed hats and sunscreen.
Secondly, it is better to load the body less with these same carcinogens, and this is everything smoked and fried (especially in reusable fat), as well as the notorious nitrates, not to mention smoking - the Ministry of Health constantly warns... True, in some countries instead Dry inscriptions are printed on photographs of smokers dying of cancer. They say it's impressive!
Among the factors leading to cancer, tobacco accounts for 30%, poor nutrition- 35%. This means that by eliminating them, you reduce the risk of getting cancer by 3 times! Occupational hazards, geophysical factors, food additives etc. lead to cancer much less often. Alcohol itself is not a carcinogen, but enhances their effects. In terms of diet, it is also recommended to refrain from eating too hot, fatty and spicy foods, but instead eat plant fiber.
Huge value vitamins are used to prevent cancer - primarily beta-carotene (provitamin A), vitamins C and E. They, being antioxidants, “correct” the effect of carcinogens and increase immunity; Vitamin C also sharply inhibits the synthesis of carcinogenic nitrosamines from those same nitrates. By the way, expensive imported fruits are far from holding the record for vitamin C content. Most of it is in rose hips, young walnuts, sea buckthorn, black currant, bell pepper, sprouted grains, as well as in dill, parsley, fresh and sauerkraut, and even in potatoes, only properly cooked.
Vitamin E is found in any vegetable oil, rose hips, soybeans and other legumes. It, unlike vitamin C, is not destroyed by culinary processing. Beta-carotene is found in everything red and orange - carrots, pumpkin, rose hips, etc., as well as parsley and dill. Consuming a small amount of fat with such foods ( vegetable oil, cream, sour cream) increases the digestibility of beta-carotene by 10 times. So improve your diet, and if you crave smoked lard unbearably, snack on it with at least a bunch of greens.
It is also considered very beneficial fasting(by the way, it doesn’t cost any money at all). At the same time, the body, thinking about what to eat, destroys, first of all, defective, incorrect cells. You just need to fast correctly and after consulting with your doctor.
Early referral is vital medical care. In Japan, for example, after the introduction of universal annual gastroscopy, stomach cancer is almost always cured in the early stages - relatively easily and completely. Women need regular visits to the gynecologist and monthly self-examination mammary glands. Often cancer occurs against the background of previous chronic diseases, so you can't run them. You need to monitor the condition of your skin. If a fast-growing mole appears, with uneven edges and uneven coloring, you should definitely see a doctor (melanoma is dangerous because it metastasizes very early).
By the way, of all cancers, the most common is stomach cancer, followed by lung cancer, skin cancer and cancer in men. lower lip, and in women - uterine cancer, breast cancer and skin cancer. Most of these diseases can either be prevented or at least detected in a timely manner. So draw conclusions and take action instead of just being afraid.
What, is it still scary? And rightly so. To be honest, I don’t understand how people manage to live without God in a world where there is cancer and death. How can they “rely only on themselves” and “manage own life"? "For what is your life? A vapor that appears for a little while and then disappears" (James 4:14).
Therefore, it is probably not very wise to make caring for health the meaning of life, to worry about own body, which will still turn to dust, sit on unimaginable diets and sleep in a pressure chamber, like Michael Jackson once did.
The other extreme is also bad - negligent attitude towards one’s own health is not approved by either medicine or the Bible. The Bible calls our body God's temple and says that “whoever destroys the temple of God will be punished by God.”
It’s probably ideal to keep a balance between these extremes, take care of your health if possible, and rely on God for the rest. And this hope will not let you down, even if you are faced with that same terrible diagnosis...
Experts treat such experiences with understanding. And yet they warn: do not give in to despondency! Having learned the terrible truth and having experienced the first shock, it is important to be able to choose LIFE.
Our consultant - psychologist Maria Belykh.
Having received a confirmed diagnosis of a serious illness, a person goes through five stages of accepting the diagnosis in one form or another. Hundreds of unanswered questions swarm in my head. The future hangs like a dark cloud. After all, the worst thing is the unknown. Psychologists assure: this is absolutely normal reaction. IN similar situation It is natural and even necessary to go through a certain period of grief, to mourn the changes that have occurred in fate. The main thing is not to get stuck in any of these stages.
Stage one. Shock and/or denial
Having received a confirmed diagnosis of a serious illness, the first hours or even days a person experiences a state of shock. He lives and acts “automatically” and may look completely calm and healthy.
Following the shock comes panic, the person begins to rush about literally and figuratively. To protect itself, the psyche develops a “denial reflex”: the patient does not believe in his diagnosis and often tries to lead a normal life, avoiding any reminders of the disease. This short-term state of denial is natural. defensive reaction, however, if a person remains in this state for too long, then, firstly, he experiences extreme stress, and secondly, he puts his life at great risk, since he does not see a doctor and does not take care of his health. At the same time, relatives may be completely in the dark: often the diagnosis is either hidden from them, or they do not know the whole truth. Therefore, at this stage a person may feel very lonely, even isolated from the world, alone with his fear.
How to cope. Educate yourself by collecting complete information about your illness. From getting to know the disease, you should gradually move on to getting to know the sick - that is, people suffering from the same disease. As the observations of doctors at the Moscow Center show multiple sclerosis, even ordinary friendly communication between patients increases the effectiveness of treatment and quality of life.
Stage two. Anger
As soon as a person passes the first stage, he begins to face reality and understands: a serious illness is now part of his life. And he often begins to feel angry - at God, at himself for doing something wrong, at doctors who cannot cure him, at others - for ignorance and misunderstanding. And because they... are still healthy.
And although anger is a normal reaction human psyche For any life crisis, when it lasts too long, stress levels rise sharply. And health often deteriorates: after all, emotional state is in direct connection with the physiological. It turns out that by being angry, you only act on the hand of the disease. In addition, excessive anger can deprive you of possible allies - people who could provide you with help and support in the future.
How to cope. You shouldn’t “burn through” priceless energy in vain. You need to be angry at the disease. No wonder the Tibetan lamas said that “you need to truly hate your illness in order to defeat it.” Look for examples among famous people, who fought the battle with dignity against a similar disease, lived long and well and left their mark on history.
Stage three. Deal
At this stage, a person tries to come to terms with the situation, making a kind of deal with his subconscious on the principle: if I behave well, everything will be as before. Right now the patient is ready to go to healers, sorcerers, use untested methods of treatment, invent his own, refusing the course prescribed official medicine. Many turn to faith, and very quickly they can reach the point of unhealthy fanaticism. Others, despite the severity of their condition, go on long-distance pilgrimages. In fact, this is a desire to escape from the disease, but in fact, from oneself.
How to cope. It is important to understand that a disease is not retribution or punishment for something, and it will not disappear anywhere, either magically, or miraculously, or in any other way, that your specific disease is just one of dozens of chronic diseases, that millions people live with a disease similar to yours all their lives.
At the same time, there is no need to prohibit yourself from doing anything. If you like going to a healer, go, just let your doctor know about it. Visits to temples and shrines also have a beneficial effect on the psyche of patients. Just remember that sick people cannot fast (any fast, not just strict fasting!) and cannot remain at the service through force, when the knees buckle and the vision darkens.
Better yet, find yourself a BUSINESS in which you can achieve success and recognition that will truly captivate you. Suffice it to recall the experience of Daria Dontsova, who began writing her detective stories in a hospital bed and managed not only to overcome a serious illness, but also to become famous.
Stage four. Depression
When reality finally sinks in, virtually all patients experience some degree of depression. Huge unresolved questions remain about plans for the future, about relationships with others, about changes in status in the family and at work. Necessity permanent treatment often radically changes the usual way of life, starting with the daily routine. Many people at this stage just want to crawl their heads under the covers and hide from the whole world.
How to cope. First of all, you need to understand that this is a temporary period. Feelings of hopelessness and gloomy pictures of the future are chimeras, which in essence are nothing more than symptoms of depression. Once you experience it, you will see your life completely differently. A diagnosis is not a reason to give up plans and hopes. Moreover, for each serious disease, new treatment methods are constantly being developed that help maintain capacity for life. for a long time. However, there are diseases that provoke depression in biochemical level. In this case, you need to seek help from a psychiatrist who will prescribe you treatment with antidepressants.
Stage five. Acceptance and revaluation
Acceptance and reconciliation are not the same thing. Acceptance means that a person has come to understand that he can live with his illness, that the patient has developed clear positive goals and aspirations, the implementation of which even illness cannot prevent. At this stage, it is time to re-evaluate your life, your plans and goals. Often, only after making a serious diagnosis do people understand what is really important and valuable to them, what is worth spending time and energy on, they focus on what is most important for themselves and give up what is unnecessary.
Attention relatives and friends
After receiving news of a serious diagnosis, it is better not to leave a person alone.
Use any strings to tie the patient more tightly to life: try to show him new, interesting things.
If the patient has thoughts of suicide, contact the centers immediately psychological assistance!
Don't put an adult in the position of a helpless baby. Underscores
Convey through words and actions the strength and confidence of the patient in the fight against the disease. Avoid tearful and pitiful intonations when communicating with him. Make a choice: either you support him and help fight the disease, or step aside.
Personal opinion
Lyudmila Lyadova:
- You should never be discouraged. Those who constantly whine will constantly be sick. Blues is a terrible thing, it should not be allowed under any circumstances, otherwise a man turns into a “moon”, and a woman into a “moon”. And if a person is given a serious diagnosis, will and courage are especially important.
Sooner or later, the doctor may declare that you are seriously ill. Your first thought will probably be that from now on life will go downhill. Actually this is not true.
The most terrifying news is diagnosis"Cancer". Most men are horrified by such a message, and distractions such as pain or medical procedures, do not soften the blow. Disasters such as an accident or a heart attack immediately stun the victim, and the person, having recovered from the initial shock, must learn to live with his illness. The tips you will read below apply to cancer diseases, but this line of behavior is applicable to any serious illness.
Unlike injuries and heart attacks, where you are immediately aware of what has happened to you, diagnosing a cancerous tumor usually takes a long time and is like slow torture. Here's the traditional scenario: you or your doctor notices something unusual; the doctor says it might be a tumor, but maybe not; the doctor’s voice sounds reassuring, but you really want to believe him; the doctor adds that additional tests and consultation with a specialist will provide more information. You have a few days of hope, and then you find out that something more than suspicious has been discovered. You are in despair, but you may perk up again when the doctor begins to assure you that many men with similar symptoms have not yet been diagnosed with cancer. Additional tests and probably a biopsy will provide a definitive answer. This will require another visit to the doctor, which means several more days filled with fear and anxiety.
Although the results can be disheartening, many patients feel great relief on the day of the biopsy, confident that they will now finally know the final result. diagnosis. They are very discouraged by the message that they will need to wait a few more days while a pathologist examines the tissue sample taken. Add a couple more days to this, since pathologists typically do not work on weekends.
So, another visit to the doctor. The time spent waiting for an appointment drags on like rubber. Finally, you are told that diagnosis confirmed. Your heart sinks, but you expect to hear something reassuring in subsequent explanations - after all, doctors always try to emphasize positive aspects, you hope to hear that this is a very small tumor and it was discovered just in time, are you wondering if there are metastases? The answer to such a question requires new research and, therefore, additional delays; in some cases, this can only be known after surgery or after metastases actually appear.
Getting proof that you actually have cancer often turns into a series of blows. Three or four such blows in a row are quite capable of unsettling any person. The patient plunges into hopeless despair. His life moves to the corridors of clinics and waiting rooms of specialist doctors, in anticipation of more and more bad news. Your belief that a normal productive life is over may even be strengthened by the start of treatment when you see the oncologist or radiologist in the company of other cancer patients who really look terrible. After a few months, most men regain some zest for life, but they rarely escape the feeling of irrevocable loss - even if everything goes for the better. I experienced this first hand.
Despite the claims of some authors, diagnosis"cancer" is very bad news indeed. And yet this is not the most worst disease, which can infect humans. There are fewer people who survived 10 years after their first heart attack than those who survived the same period after many types of cancer, and yet heart attack victims pull themselves together and continue to live, adapting to new conditions. Cancer patients should do the same.
TELL EVERYONE - THEY WILL HELP YOU!
Tell family members and relatives, as well as friends and colleagues with whom you interact regularly, about your illness. Anyway, sooner or later they will find out about it, and when they hear about it from you, they will understand that you trust them.
Cancer patients, especially men, most often hide it, but it is very difficult to carry such a burden on the soul. The thought of illness does not leave you. Serious illness as if it isolates you from others, especially strangers. You look at others with bitterness, obviously happy people- while the burden is so heavy on you that at times you wonder why no one notices anything. But they just can't see it, you have to tell them yourself.
In this case, you are not just reporting the news to gain sympathy, although, of course, you will receive it in sufficient quantities - sometimes it will even irritate you. You share your misfortune with others, as you would talk about any other big event in your life; after all, people are always exchanging news, and you must maintain continuous communication with society.
Don't try to predict how certain people will perceive your message. Many, initially shocked and filled with compassion, will later maintain the same relationship with you as before, from time to time inquiring about your well-being and possible progress in treatment. You can expect mindless encouragement like, “I'm sure you'll be fine in the end...” and tiresome stories about people you know who have also had cancer. Even if you are not interested, listen politely to everyone.
But be prepared for the fact that some people will begin to disappear from your life! Their first reaction may be no different from what was just described, but soon their behavior will begin to alarm you. If possible, they will not sit next to you during lunch, and for some reason your friends will suddenly stop calling and visiting. In response to your invitation, they will refer to other plans. Realizing that an old friend is avoiding you is not easy, but you should know that this happens to cancer patients all the time. Such behavior is, of course, heartless (if it's any consolation, know that your friend is almost certainly tormented by his conscience), but some people serious illnesses those around them are terrified to such an extent that they prefer to run away from them. After a few months, you may be able to get closer to someone again and restore your previous relationship. Accusations and reproaches are useless here; you just need to forgive people for their weakness.
Few of those around you will turn out to be truly saints - they will be very attentive, showing neither tearful pity nor thoughtless optimism. Later, they will want to know details about your treatment, and you will find that it is easy to talk to them about your feelings and fears. You will really need such people, but who exactly this person will be is absolutely unpredictable.
IF YOU HAVE A TUMOR, BE SURE TO GO TO AN ONCOLOGIST
An oncologist (a doctor who specializes in cancer) will review your medical card, test results and biopsy, after which he will offer some further actions. Be sure to visit this specialist, even if you have a small and easily treatable tumor.
The doctor who diagnosed you diagnosis, first of all, a surgeon. If necessary, he will, of course, recommend other types of treatment, but the most familiar and preferable for him is surgery, especially in doubtful cases.
And you, naturally, will want to discuss other possibilities.
In addition, it may turn out that cancerous tumors- not the most known area for your doctor, or he just doesn't like to deal with them. And the oncologist specializes precisely in such patients whose fears and questions coincide with yours. Based on our experience, we can say that oncologists are more attentive to patients. For almost all cancer patients, a visit to an oncologist is quite common; the attending physician will probably advise you to visit him and will not object if you make such a proposal yourself.
Ask if you can take part in a clinical trial.
Many people participate in clinical trials, trying new chemotherapy treatments, new synthesized hormones, and (very rarely) new surgical or radiological techniques. If you want to take part in such tests, then your goal is, first of all, to help yourself, and not all of humanity.
Patients almost always recoil when I mention clinical trials. “Why should I try an unproven treatment on myself,” they ask. I explain that clinical trials different from clinical trials. Medicines or techniques sent to clinics for testing have already been tested early stages research. Specialists know their spectrum of action; they know that these drugs are relatively safe and more effective than those used. To receive official approval, creators and researchers of new treatments and medications must compare them with the best analogues and win this competition, which is why every trial participant receives the best possible treatment.
JOIN THE SUPPORT GROUP
Your wife (or girlfriend) and close friends will support you, but no one will better than people sharing the same misfortune with you. To doctors and clinics providing treatment serious illnesses, similar groups are known. Men are much less willing to talk about their feelings than women, but believe me, in such groups no one is forced to have such conversations, you can just be silently present. I always insist that my patients try it - and many of them thank me afterwards.
BEWARE OF PEOPLE WHO DEMAND YOU TO BE HAPPY
Read everything you can. However, I warn you that there is one annoying thesis that is constantly present in popular literature and other medical publications. It sounds something like this: “Cheer up or die!” Even in old Hollywood films, the heroine found herself on the verge of death because, as the doctor explains to the audience, she “lost the will to live.” Here, with the inevitability of fate, a hero appears, thanks to whom the lost will is restored, the heroine opens her eyes and, immediately revived, rises from her bed.
Enthusiasts will probably be shocked by this characteristic. They sincerely believe in their wonderful advice, exclaiming that medicine can fight cancer, but you must also resist the disease. This, in their opinion, is much more effective and more important than drugs, surgery or radiation, and you must remain in a fighting mood, firmly believing in victory.
Cancer patients are always thrilled to learn about self-healing. Moreover, many people have the impression that this will actually work. After a few weeks, when the first shock from diagnosis, almost everyone experiences emotional improvement that helps them fight the disease, no matter what treatment the doctor uses. But if something goes wrong, the patient, depressed morally, begins to blame himself: “I should have tried this, but I didn’t have the willpower.” This could be one of the possible comments.
