Preschoolers’ communication with peers changes qualitatively in comparison with communication in previous periods. For preschoolers (4-5 years old), communication with peers becomes a priority. They actively communicate with each other in a variety of situations (during security moments, during various types activities - games, work, classes, etc.). Communication is especially evident and develops during play activity. Developing communication influences the nature of the game and its development. A wide variety of collective tasks arises:

• cooperative play;
• imposing one's own patterns;
• managing the partner’s actions and monitoring their implementation;
• constant comparison with oneself and evaluation of specific behavioral acts.

Such a variety of communicative tasks requires mastering the appropriate actions: demand, order, deceive, regret, prove, argue, etc.

Communication with peers very emotionally charged. Actions addressed to a peer are affectively directed (9-10 times more expressive and facial manifestations than when communicating with an adult).

There is a wide variety of emotional states: from furious indignation to violent joy, from tenderness and sympathy to anger. A preschooler approves of a peer more often than an adult, and more often enters into conflict relationships with him.

Contacts between children are non-standard and not regulated. Preschoolers use the most unexpected actions in their relationships. Their movements are relaxed, not standardized: they jump, make faces, take different poses, imitate each other, come up with different words, compose fables, etc.

Among peers, the child can freely express his individual characteristics.

With age, children's contacts become more and more subject to generally accepted rules of behavior. But until the end preschool age distinctive feature children's communication are its lack of regulation and looseness.

In communication with peers, proactive actions prevail over responsible ones. For a child, his own action (statement) is more important, even if most often it is not supported by a peer. Therefore, the dialogue may fall apart. Inconsistency in communicative actions often gives rise to protests, resentments, and conflicts between children.

Table 9.1
Changing the nature of communication in the preschool period

Thus, the content of communication changes significantly in the period from 3 to 6-7 years: the content of needs, motives and

Forms of communication are gradually developing.

Emotional-practical communication with peers predominates at the age of 2-4 years. It is characterized by:

• interest in another child,
• increased attention to his actions;
• the desire to attract the attention of a peer;
• the desire to demonstrate your achievements to a peer and provoke his response.

At 2 years old, the child exhibits special play actions. He likes to indulge, compete, and tinker with his peers (Fig. 9.8).

Rice. 9.8. Imitation of peers

In early preschool age, the emotional-practical is preserved, and along with it, situational communication arises, in which much depends on the specific environment in which the interaction takes place.

Every child is concerned with attracting attention and getting a partner's response. At the same time, the mood, desire

Situation. The children played pranks together and alternately, supporting and enhancing the general fun. Suddenly a bright toy appeared in their field of vision. The children's interaction stopped: it was interrupted by an attractive object. Each child switched his attention from his peer to a new object, and the struggle for the right to possess it almost led to a fight.

Determine the approximate age of the children and the form of their communication.

Solution. These children are between two and four years old. During this period, emotional and practical communication is clearly manifested, which largely depends on the situation. A change in the situation leads to such a transformation of the communication process.

By the age of 4 it develops situational business form of communication.

This is the period of development of role-playing games. Peers now occupy more space in communication than adults. Children prefer to play together rather than alone. Fulfilling the roles they take on, they enter into business relationships, often changing their voice, intonation and demeanor. This facilitates the transition to personal relationships. But the main content of communication remains business cooperation. Along with the need for cooperation, the need for peer recognition stands out.

Situation. Dima (5 years old) carefully and jealously watches the actions of his peers, constantly criticizes and evaluates their actions.

How will Dima react to the unsuccessful actions of his peer?

Solution. Dima will be happy. But if an adult encourages someone, then Dima will most likely be upset.

At the age of 5, a qualitative restructuring of attitudes towards peers occurs. In middle preschool age, the child looks at himself “through the eyes of his peer.” A child of the same age becomes a subject of constant comparison with himself. This comparison is aimed at contrasting oneself with another. In situational business communication a competitive beginning appears. Let us recall that among three-year-olds the comparison was aimed at identifying commonalities.

Another person is a mirror in which the child sees himself.

During this period, children talk a lot with each other (more than with adults), but their speech remains situational. They interact mainly regarding objects and actions presented in the current situation.

Although children communicate less with adults during this period, extra-situational contacts arise in their interaction with him.

At the end of preschool childhood, many develop a non-situational and business form of communication.

At 6-7 years old, children tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen. They evaluate the actions of other children, ask personal questions to peers, for example: “What do you want to do?”, “What do you like?”, “Where have you been, what have you seen?”

Some people can talk for a long time without resorting to practical actions. But still the same great value For children, they have joint activities, that is, common games or productive activities.

At this time, a special attitude towards another child is formed, which can be called personal. The peer becomes a valuable, holistic personality, which means that deeper interpersonal relationships are possible between children. However, not all children develop such a personal attitude towards others. Many of them have a predominant selfish, competitive attitude towards their peers. Such children need special psychological and pedagogical

Table 9.2
Distinctive features of a preschooler’s communication with peers and adults

Communication with peers	Communication with adults
1. Vivid emotional intensity, sharp intonations, screams, antics, laughter, etc. Expression from pronounced indignation (“What are you doing?!”) to violent joy (“Look how good it is!”). Special freedom, relaxed communication	1. More or less calm tone of communication
2. Non-standard statements, lack of strict norms and rules. The most unexpected words, combinations of words and sounds, phrases are used: they buzz, crackle, mimic each other, come up with new names for familiar objects. Conditions are created for independent creativity. Nothing hinders activity	2. Certain norms of statements of generally accepted phrases and speech patterns. Adult: - gives the child cultural norms of communication; - teaches to speak
3. The predominance of proactive statements over responses. It is more important to speak out yourself than to listen to others. Conversations fail. Everyone talks about their own things, interrupting the other	3. The child supports the initiative and suggestions of the adult. In this case: - tries to answer questions; - seeks to continue the conversation; - listens carefully to children's stories; - prefers to listen rather than talk
4. Actions directed at peers are more varied. Communication is much richer in purpose and functions; in it you can find a variety of components: — managing the partner’s action (showing what can be done and what cannot be done); — control of his actions (make a remark in a timely manner); - imposing your own samples (force him to make them); - joint play (decision to play); - constant comparison with oneself (“I can do this, and you?”). This variety of relationships gives rise to a variety of contacts	4. The adult says that it’s good and what's bad. And the child expects from him: — assessment of one’s actions; — new information

The child learns in communication with peers:

• express yourself;
• manage others;
• enter into various relationships.

In communicating with adults, he learns how to:

• speak and do the right thing;
• listen and understand others;
• acquire new knowledge.

For normal development, a child needs not only communication with adults, but also communication with peers.

Question. Why, when communicating with a peer, even a dull one, does a child expand his vocabulary significantly better than when communicating with parents?

Answer. The need to be understood in communication and in play forces children to speak out more clearly and correctly. As a result, speech addressed to a peer becomes more coherent, understandable, detailed and lexically rich.

Rice. 9.9.

Communication with a peer takes on a special meaning(Fig. 9.9). Among the diverse statements, conversations related to one’s own “I” predominate.

Situation.“My son Misha (7 years old),” writes his mother, “is almost perfect. But in public he is always silent. I try to justify this to my friends for some reason, like Misha is tired, in a hurry to get home, etc., but still my son’s isolation worries me. When he is at home, everything is fine, but in public he immediately withdraws into himself. Please advise what to do?

Give advice to mom.

R e sewing You need to try to explain to Misha that shyness is often perceived as unfriendliness, and in order to please people, you need to be more sociable. But when giving such advice, one must be sure that this problem did not arise because of my mother. It is possible that:

• Misha’s silence is a property of his character, he behaves the same way in the company of children, that is, in fact, he does not change, but the expectations of his mother change, who would like Misha to behave more naturally when communicating with her friends;
• in communication with others, the mother herself changes, which makes Misha feel uneasy and withdrawn;
• the conversations going on in the group that makes up my mother’s circle are not of interest to Misha, and it is possible that this group is satisfied with Misha’s silence.

Often, parents use pressure on their children, “forcing” them to become shy, and then become overwhelmed by the problem they themselves created (Figure 9.10).

Rice. 9.10. An adult, compared to children, is a more understandable and sensitive communication partner

In general, it can be noted that the goals and content of children’s communication undergo significant changes with age (Table 9.3).

Table 9.3

Changing the goals and content of communication with age

Age	Target		Example
	The desire to attract the attention of a peer with the help of one’s objects	"I" is what I have or what I see	“This is my dog...” “I got a new dress today.”
	Satisfy the need for respect. Of particular importance is the attitude of other people to their own successes.	They demonstrate what they can do. Children like to teach their peers and set themselves as an example	“Here, I did this myself!” “Here, look how to build!”
	Demonstrates one's knowledge for the purpose of self-affirmation	Statements about oneself are expanded through: - messages about one’s objects and actions; - more stories about yourself that are not related to what the child is doing now; - messages about where they were, what they saw; - the fact that children share plans for the future	“I was watching cartoons.” “I will grow up - I will.” "I love books." Vova overtakes Kolina with his car and says: “I have a Mercedes.” He drives the fastest."
	Judgments on cognitive and moral topics in communication with peers they serve to demonstrate their knowledge and assert their own authority.	The statements reflect the spirit of our time and the interests of parents. Children happily tell their friends what they heard from their parents, often without even understanding the meaning of what was said.	“What are martial arts?” "What is business?"
	It's more interesting to report new knowledge yourself, than to listen sew them from your own friend	The topics are far from the lives of children, since they adopt them from adults in the family
		Judgments and assessments show the influence of an adult	“You can’t be greedy, no one hangs around with greedy people!” - this is how children “teach” their friends, repeating the words of adults addressed to them

Situation. We quite often hear children's statements of this type: “Let's play cars together!”, “Look what we got!”

What do such appeals from children indicate? What age children are they for?

Solution. Children have a common cause that fascinates them. Now it is no longer so important which “I” and which “You”, the main thing is that we have an interesting game. This turn from “I” to “We” is observed in children after 4 years of age, when an attempt to unite in play occurs.

Situation. Dima (4 years old) and Kolya (4 years 1 month) played alone, each with his own toy. Parents noticed that the boys' peers did not accept them in joint games. The psychologist who examined these children told the parents that the reason for this was the lack of speech development in their sons.

What feature speech development did you mean psychologist?

Solution. Children who speak poorly and do not understand each other cannot establish interesting game, meaningful communication. They get bored with each other. They are forced to play apart because they have nothing to talk about.

Situation. Vova (4 years old) quickly says to Vita (4.5 years old): “You’re kind of greedy.”

What does this and similar judgments of peers indicate?

What are the features of children's value judgments?

Solution. Children give assessments of this kind to each other based on momentary, often situational manifestations: if he doesn’t give a toy, it means he’s “greedy.” The child willingly and openly communicates his dissatisfaction to his peer. Assessments of young children are too subjective. They come down to the opposition of “I” and “You”, where “I” is obviously better than “You”.

Throughout preschool childhood, a child's message about himself changes from “this is mine,” “watch what I do,” to “what I will be like when I grow up,” and “what I love.”

In older preschool age the purpose of mutual communication between children is to demonstrate yourself, your merits, to attract attention. A child's peer assessment, approval, and even admiration are very important to him.

When communicating with peers, each child’s phrase has “I” in the center: “I have...”, “I can...”, “I do...”. It is important for him to demonstrate to his peers his superiority in something. Therefore, children love to brag to each other: “They bought me...”, “And I have...”, “And my car is better than yours...”, etc. Thanks to this, the child acquires confidence in being noticed that he is the best, beloved, etc.

A thing, a toy, that cannot be shown to anyone loses its appeal.

For parents, the baby is always the best. And he doesn’t need to convince his mom and dad that he’s the best. But as soon as a child finds himself among his peers, he has to prove his right to superiority. This happens by comparing yourself with those who play nearby and who are so similar to you.

It is noteworthy that children compare themselves with others very subjectively.

The main task of the child is to prove his superiority: “Look how good I am.” That's what a peer is for! It is needed so that there is someone to compare with, so that there is someone to show one’s merits.

First of all, the child sees a peer as an object for comparison. And only when a peer begins to behave differently than we would like, then he begins to interfere. In such cases, the qualities of his personality are noticed, and immediately these qualities receive a harsh assessment: “You are greedy.”

The assessment is given on the basis of specific actions: “If you don’t give a toy, it means you’re greedy.”

But a friend also needs recognition, approval, praise, and therefore conflicts between children are inevitable.

Situation. The children play together and don't complain about anything.

Does this situation mean that everyone in the group is equal?

Solution. No, that doesn't mean it. Most likely, a certain type of relationship has developed between the children: some only command, others only obey.

It may also happen that an aggressive child intimidates one, begs another, ingratiates himself with a third, but somehow subdues everyone with his activity.

Let's consider the main causes of children's conflicts.

• Every child expects a good grade from a peer, but does not understand that his peer also needs praise. It is very difficult for a preschooler to praise and approve of another child. He only sees external behavior another: that he pushes, screams, interferes, takes away toys, etc. At the same time, he does not understand that each peer is an individual, with his own inner world, interests, desires.
• The preschooler is not aware of his inner world, your experiences, intentions, interests. Therefore, it is difficult for him to imagine how the other feels.

The child needs to be helped to look at himself and his peer from the outside so that the child can avoid many conflicts.

Situation. Studies have found that children from orphanage who have unlimited opportunities to communicate with each other, but are brought up in conditions of a lack of communication with adults, contacts with peers are poor, primitive and monotonous. They are incapable of empathy, mutual assistance, independent organization meaningful communication.

Why is this happening?

Solution. This happens only because they are brought up in conditions of a lack of communication with adults. To develop full-fledged communication, a purposeful organization of children's communication is necessary, which can be carried out by an adult, and especially by a specialist in preschool education.

Question. What influence should an adult have on a child in order for his interaction with other children to be successful?

Answer. There are two possible ways. The first assumes organization of joint subject activities of children. For younger preschoolers, this path is ineffective, since children of this age are focused on their toys and are mainly engaged in individual play. Their appeals to each other come down to taking away an attractive toy from the other. We can say that interest in toys prevents the child from seeing his peers.

The second way is based on organization subjective interaction between children. This way is more effective. The adult's task is to improve relationships between children. To do this, an adult:

• demonstrates to the child the dignity of his peers;
• affectionately calls each child by name;
• praises playing partners;
• invites the child to repeat the actions of the other.

Following the second path, the adult draws the child’s attention to the subjective qualities of the other. As a result, children's interest in each other increases. arise positive emotions, addressed to a peer.

The adult helps the child discover his peer and see positive qualities in him.

In a role-playing game, with common actions and emotional experiences an atmosphere of unity and closeness with peers is created. Interpersonal relationships and meaningful communication develop.

Situation. Often the efforts of workers kindergarten are aimed at creating a holistic interior and selecting attractive toys that would delight children, and the teacher could then occupy and organize them.

Are such expectations of adults justified?

Solution. Often, instead of joy, toys bring sorrow and tears. Children take them away from each other, fight over their attractiveness. Any explanations from the teacher about how to play with these toys without conflicts do not help. The advice conflicts with children's usual experience of playing at home, where they are the masters of the toys.

The lack of experience in gaming communication and playing together with peers leads to the fact that the child sees another child as a contender for an attractive toy, and not as a communication partner. Experience playing together under the guidance of an adult is required.

Situation. In orphanages and other official institutions, the duty of the teacher is to be patient, restrained, etc. day after day. an indispensable condition work. But research shows that precisely this “one-sided” approach to a child is one of the disadvantages of public education. From birth, a child is thus accustomed to only one way of interacting with the outside world.

Solution. It is better for a child if he gets different experiences of interacting with the world around him. After all, mothers and fathers can be “kind” and “evil,” “restrained” and “reasonable,” etc. But the child should always feel that he is loved by his parents.

The sprouts of new relationships “We”, not “I”, should be supported by adults (Fig. 9.11).

Rice. 9.11.

Situation. Two teachers were involved in developing the speech and communication skills of preschoolers, but they did it in different ways. One asked the children either to tell a fairy tale they knew, or to describe an object that they saw, or to compose a story on the topic of a collective experience. And she constantly demanded a complete answer from the children.

Which teacher will have children working more actively in class?

Solution. With the second teacher, the children will work more actively, since each appeal to them was an invitation to dialogue, motivated by a creative approach, and therefore interesting. With the first teacher, the children were not so interested in talking about already known things, even when discussing events from collective experience.

For the second teacher, the dialogue was based on lively spoken language. It is more useful for a child to say 2-3 phrases under the influence of a vivid figurative impression than to force a “descriptive retelling”.

Question. What is the best way to develop coherent speech in a child, taking into account his individual characteristics?

Answer. Coherent speech can be developed in the process of teaching a child to retell by description. It is best to do this, taking into account the individual characteristics of the children, their interests (sculpting, staging plays, etc.).

Natural dialogue occurs in dramatization games, performances, during plot-didactic games, in the process of dialogues on topics from personal experience, in reasoning when guessing riddles, etc. In children in conditions interesting hobbies verbal expression of one’s own thoughts occurs naturally.

Situation. By older preschool age, many children master only the simplest forms of dialogic communication with peers.

What should adults pay attention to in order to develop a child’s dialogical communication skills?

Solution. Typically, children transfer the skills of dialogical communication with adults to communication with peers. An adult should pay attention:

• to develop free reasoning skills;
• to include argumentation in the dialogue;
• to maintain the duration of the dialogue.

Work on the development of logical communication must begin at the age of 3-5, when the child masters coherent speech, when he interacts with peers in collective, role-playing, outdoor games, when he is engaged in collective activity: draws, designs, etc. This type of work allows you to solve 2 problems at the same time.

• Language development child. His speech attention, phonemic hearing, and articulatory apparatus are formed.
• Development of coherent speech. Gaming and verbal interaction with peers is being established.

Answer. The child must be able to focus on a peer partner, address him proactively, and respond in word and action to his statements.

Communication should be friendly, targeted, supported by commenting, reasoning, interconnected statements, questions, and motives.

At preschool age, the child’s world is no longer limited to the family. People who are significant to him now are not only his mother, father or grandmother, but also other children and peers. And as the child grows up, contacts and conflicts with peers will become more and more important for him. In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic scenario of children’s interpersonal relationships unfolds. Preschoolers make friends, quarrel, make peace, get offended, get jealous, help each other, and sometimes do minor “dirty tricks.” All these relationships are acutely experienced by the child and are colored by a wide variety of emotions. .

Research by N.I. Ganoshchenko and I.A. Zalysin showed that in a state of excitement, children visually turned to a peer twice as often and through speech three times more often than to an adult. When communicating with peers, older preschoolers' behavior becomes more emotional than when communicating with adults. Preschoolers actively turn to peers for a variety of reasons.

Emotional tension and conflict in children's relationships are much higher than among adults. Parents and educators are sometimes unaware of the rich range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, naturally, do not attach much importance to children's friendships, quarrels, and insults. .

Meanwhile, the experience of first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child’s personality is built. The style of communication and position among peers determines how calm and satisfied the child feels, and the extent to which he assimilates the norms of relationships with peers. This first experience largely determines a person’s attitude towards himself, towards others, towards the world as a whole, and it is not always positive. Many children, already in preschool age, develop and consolidate a negative attitude towards others, which can have very sad long-term consequences. When children communicate, relationships quickly develop in which preferred and rejected peers appear. “For the joy of communication,” the child spends a lot of energy on feelings associated with the success of identification and the suffering of alienation.

Identify problems in interpersonal relationships in a timely manner and help the child overcome them - the most important task parents. Help from adults should be based on understanding psychological reasons underlying certain problems in children’s interpersonal relationships. . Exactly internal reasons cause a persistent conflict between the child and his peers, lead to his objective or subjective isolation, make the child feel lonely - and this is one of the most difficult and destructive experiences of a person. Timely detection internal conflict in a child requires from adults not only attention and observation, but also knowledge of the psychological characteristics and patterns of development of children's communication.

Communication with peers is a tough school of social relations.

By the age of 6-7 years, children’s attitude towards their peers changes significantly again. At this time, the child is capable of extra-situational communication, which has nothing to do with what is happening here and now. Children tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their preferences or plans, and evaluate the qualities and actions of other children. At this age, it is already possible for them to communicate in the usual sense of the word for us, that is, not related to games and toys. Children can simply talk for a long time (which they could not do in early preschool age), without performing any practical actions. . The relationship between them is also changing significantly. By the age of 6, the child’s friendliness and emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of peers increases significantly. Often older preschoolers carefully observe the actions of their peers and are emotionally involved in them. Quite often, even contrary to the rules of the game, they strive to help their peers and tell them the right move. If four- to five-year-old children, following an adult, willingly condemn the actions of their peers, then six-year-olds, on the contrary, defend a friend or can even support his “resistance” to an adult. At the same time, the competitive element in children’s communication remains intact.

However, along with this, older preschoolers acquire the ability to see in a partner not only his toys, mistakes or successes, but also his desires, preferences, and moods. Children of this age not only talk about themselves, but also ask their peers questions: they are interested in what he wants to do, what he likes, where he has been, what he has seen. These naive questions reflect the emergence of a selfless, personal attitude towards another person. By the age of six, many children have a desire to help a peer, give or give him something. Schadenfreude, envy, and competitiveness appear less often and not as acutely as at the age of five. Sometimes children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. Such emotional involvement in the actions of peers indicates that peers become for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and comparison with oneself, not only preferred partners. Interest in a peer as a valuable personality in itself, important and interesting, regardless of her achievements and the subjects she possesses, comes to the fore. Parents, of course, should support their children’s attitude towards their peers, teach them by personal example how to care for others and take their children’s affections seriously.

Also, by the age of 6-7 years, preschool children’s friendliness towards peers and the ability to help each other significantly increases. . Of course, the competitive nature remains for life. However, along with this, in the communication of older preschoolers, the ability to see in a partner not only his situational manifestations is gradually revealed: what he has and what he does, but also some psychological aspects the existence of a partner: his desires, preferences, moods. Preschoolers now not only talk about themselves, but also ask questions to a peer: what he wants to do, what he likes, where he has been, what he has seen, etc. Interest in the personality of a peer is awakened, not related to his specific actions.

By the age of 6, many children’s emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of their peers increases significantly. It is important for children what and how another child does (what he plays, what he draws, what books he looks at), not in order to show that I am better, but simply because this other child becomes interesting in itself. Sometimes, even contrary to accepted rules, they strive to help another, to tell him the right move or answer. If 4-5 year old children willingly, following an adult, condemn the actions of a peer, then 6 year old boys, on the contrary, can unite with a friend in their “confrontation” with an adult, defend or justify him. For example, when an adult negatively assessed one boy (or rather, his building from a construction set), another boy came to the defense of his friend: “He knows how to build well, he just hasn’t finished it yet, just wait, and he will do well.” .

All this indicates that the thoughts and actions of older preschoolers are aimed not only at positive assessment an adult and not only to emphasize his own advantages, but also directly to another child, to make him feel better.

Many children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. So, for example, they are happy when a kindergarten teacher praises their friend, and get upset or try to help when something doesn’t work out for him. A peer, thus, becomes for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and a subject of comparison with himself, not only a preferred partner, but also a self-valued personality, important and interesting, regardless of his achievements and his toys.

Children become interested in what the other child experiences and prefers. A peer is now not only an object for comparison with oneself and not only a partner in an exciting game, but also a valuable, significant human personality with your own experiences and preferences. .

In older preschool age, children increasingly do something specifically for a peer in order to help him or somehow make him better. They themselves understand this and can explain their actions. It is very important that children think not only about how to help a peer, but also about his moods and desires; they genuinely want to bring joy and pleasure. Friendship begins with such attention to a friend, with care for him.

In older preschool age, attitudes towards peers become more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of interaction. They care most about their friends, prefer to play with them, sit next to them at the table, go for a walk, etc. Friends tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their plans or preferences, evaluate their qualities and the actions of others. .

Thus, in a six-year-old child the highest form predominates communicative activities- non-situational personal communication. First, a striking characteristic of peer communication lies in its extreme emotional intensity. Contacts between preschoolers are characterized by increased emotionality and relaxedness, which cannot be said about the interaction between a child and an adult. If a child usually speaks relatively calmly with an adult, then conversations with peers are usually characterized by sharp intonations, screaming, and laughter. On average, in the communication of peers, there are 9-10 times more expressive and facial manifestations, expressing various emotional states - from furious indignation to wild joy, from tenderness and sympathy - to fight. The second important feature of children’s contacts is their non-standard and unregulated nature. If, when communicating with adults, even the youngest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when interacting with peers, preschoolers behave at ease. Their movements are characterized by a special looseness and naturalness: children jump, take bizarre poses, make faces, squeal, run after each other, imitate each other, invent new words and make up tall tales, etc. The third distinctive feature of peer communication is the predominance of proactive actions over reactive ones. Communication involves interaction with a partner, attention to him, the ability to hear him and respond to his suggestions.

The listed features are characteristic of children's contacts throughout the entire preschool age (from 3 to 6-7 years).

At preschool age, the child’s world is no longer limited to the family. People who are significant to him now are not only his mother, father or grandmother, but also other children and peers. And as your baby grows up, contacts and conflicts with peers will become increasingly important to him. In almost every kindergarten group, a complex and sometimes dramatic scenario of children’s interpersonal relationships unfolds. Preschoolers make friends, quarrel, make peace, get offended, get jealous, help each other, and sometimes do minor dirty tricks. All these relationships are acutely experienced by the child and are colored by a wide variety of emotions. Emotional tension and conflict in children's relationships are much higher than among adults. Parents and educators are sometimes unaware of the rich range of feelings and relationships that their children experience, and, naturally, do not attach much importance to children's friendships, quarrels, and insults. Meanwhile, the experience of first relationships with peers is the foundation on which the further development of the child’s personality is built. This first experience largely determines a person’s attitude towards himself, towards others, towards the world as a whole, and it is not always positive. Many children, already in preschool age, develop and consolidate a negative attitude towards others, which can have very sad long-term consequences. Identifying problems in interpersonal relationships in a timely manner and helping the child overcome them is the most important task of parents. Help from adults should be based on an understanding of the psychological reasons underlying certain problems in children’s interpersonal relationships. It is internal reasons that cause a child’s persistent conflict with peers, lead to his objective or subjective isolation, and make the child feel lonely - and this is one of the most difficult and destructive experiences of a person. Timely identification of an internal conflict in a child requires from adults not only attention and observation, but also knowledge of the psychological characteristics and patterns of development of children’s communication.

Features of communication between preschoolers

However, before talking about problematic forms of interpersonal relationships, you need to understand that a child communicates with peers in a completely different way than with an adult. First, a striking characteristic of peer communication is its extreme emotional intensity. Contacts between preschoolers are characterized by increased emotionality and relaxedness, which cannot be said about the interaction between a child and an adult. If a child usually speaks relatively calmly with an adult, then conversations with peers are usually characterized by sharp intonations, screaming, and laughter. On average, in the communication of peers, there are 9-10 times more expressive and facial manifestations, expressing various emotional states - from furious indignation to wild joy, from tenderness and sympathy - to fight. With an adult, the child, as a rule, tries to behave evenly, without extreme expression of emotions and feelings. Such a strong emotional intensity of contacts between preschoolers is due to the fact that, starting from the age of four, a peer, rather than an adult, becomes a more attractive partner for a child. Preschoolers themselves already clearly understand that they are interested in children like them, and not just with mom and dad. The second important feature of children’s contacts is their non-standard and unregulated nature. If, when communicating with adults, even the youngest children adhere to certain norms of behavior, then when interacting with peers, preschoolers behave at ease. Their movements are characterized by a special looseness and naturalness: children jump, take bizarre poses, make faces, squeal, run after each other, imitate each other, invent new words and make up tall tales, etc. Such free behavior of preschool children usually tires adults, and they strive to stop this “disgrace.” However, for the children themselves such freedom is very important. Oddly enough, such “antics” are of great importance for the development of a child. The company of peers helps the child to show his originality. If an adult instills norms of behavior in a child, then a peer encourages manifestations of individuality. It is no coincidence that those activities that require the manifestation of creativity - play, fantasy, dramatization - are so popular among peers. Naturally, as children grow up, they become more and more subject to generally accepted rules of behavior. However, loose communication and the use of unpredictable and non-standard means remain distinctive feature children's communication until the end of preschool age. The third distinctive feature of peer communication is the predominance of proactive actions over reactive ones. Communication involves interaction with a partner, attention to him, the ability to hear him and respond to his suggestions. Young children do not have such abilities in relation to their peers. This is especially evident in the inability of preschoolers to conduct a dialogue, which falls apart due to the lack of responsive activity from the partner. For a child, his own action or statement is much more important, and in most cases the initiative of a peer is not supported by him. As a result, everyone talks about their own things, but no one listens to their partner. Such inconsistency in children's communicative actions often gives rise to conflicts, protests, and resentments. The listed features are characteristic of children's contacts throughout the entire preschool age (from 3 to 6-7 years). However, the content of children’s communication does not remain unchanged throughout all four years: children’s communication and relationships go through a complex developmental path, in which three main stages can be distinguished.

Junior preschool age

IN younger age(at 2-4 years old) it is necessary and sufficient for a child to have a peer join in his pranks, support and enhance the general fun. Children run after each other, hide and look for others, scream, squeal, and make faces. Each participant in such emotional communication is primarily concerned with attracting attention to himself and receiving an emotional response from his partner. In a peer, the child perceives only attention to himself, and the peer himself (his actions, desires, moods), as a rule, is not noticed. A peer is just a mirror for him, in which he sees only himself. Communication at this age is extremely situational - it depends entirely on the specific environment in which the interaction takes place, and on the practical actions of the partner. Quite often, some attractive object can ruin the friendly play of children: their attention immediately switches to it. The fight for a toy and the reluctance to give up one’s own is a distinctive feature of children. They affirm and defend their “I” primarily through the demonstration of their property: “Look what I have!”, “This is mine!” That is why it is very difficult to give what is yours. Attractive toys become a reason for endless disputes and conflicts among children. They can communicate normally only in the absence of distracting objects. Encourages adults to play together with one toy in this case are useless - children at this age can pay attention either to a peer or (which is much more common) to a toy. Only with the help of an adult can a child see an equal person in a peer. Please note small child on the attractive sides of a peer, on the fact that he can do the same simple steps(clap hands, jump, spin, etc.). In early preschool age, it is better to organize games without objects, in which children act simultaneously and in the same way. These are well-known round dance games or simple games certain rules(“loaf”, “bunny”, “carousel”, “bubble”, “cat and mouse”, etc.). Young children are indifferent to the successes of their peers, even if the praise comes from an adult. The baby does not seem to notice the actions and mood of his peer. At the same time, the presence of a peer makes the child more emotional and active, as evidenced by the children’s desire for each other and mutual imitation. The ease with which three-year-old children become infected with common emotional states, may indicate a special commonality that arises when identical skills and things are discovered. This commonality is so far determined only by external signs: “You jump, and I jump,” “You have green slippers, and I have the same ones.” It is by emphasizing this commonality that relationships between kids can be improved.

Middle preschool age

A decisive change in attitude towards peers occurs in a child in the middle of preschool age. In the fifth year of life (especially for those children who attend kindergarten), one-year-olds become more attractive to the baby and occupy an increasingly larger place in life. Nowadays, children consciously prefer to play with another child rather than with an adult or alone. The main content of children's communication in the middle of preschool age becomes a common cause - play. If younger children played nearby, but not together, if the attention and complicity of their peers was important to them, then during business communication preschoolers learn to coordinate their actions with the actions of their partner and achieve overall result. This kind of interaction is called cooperation. At this age it prevails in children’s communication. If children after 4 years of age do not know how to play together and their communication is limited only to fussing and running around, this is a clear sign their backlog in social development. At this age, children need cooperation and meaningful communication - that is, play. At this stage, the need for recognition and respect from a peer is no less clearly manifested. The child strives to attract the attention of others, sensitively catches signs of attitude toward himself in their glances and facial expressions, and demonstrates resentment in response to inattention or reproaches from partners. The “invisibility” of a peer turns into a keen interest in everything that he does. At the age of four or five, children closely and jealously observe the actions of their peers and evaluate them: they often ask adults about the successes of their comrades, demonstrate their advantages, and try to hide their mistakes and failures from their peers. A competitive element appears in children's communication. Children closely and jealously observe and evaluate the actions of their peers. Children's reactions to an adult's opinion also become more acute and emotional. The successes of peers can cause grief in children, but their failures cause undisguised joy. It is at this age that the number of children's conflicts increases significantly, envy, jealousy, and resentment towards peers are openly manifested. A preschooler forms an opinion about himself, constantly comparing himself with peers. But now the purpose of this comparison is no longer to discover commonality (as with three-year-olds), but to contrast oneself with another. Through comparison with peers, the child evaluates and affirms himself as the owner of certain advantages that can be appreciated by others. For a four- to five-year-old child, his “surroundings” are his peers. All this gives rise to numerous conflicts among children and such phenomena as boasting, ostentatious actions, and rivalries, which can be considered as age-related characteristics of five-year-olds. A way to help a child of middle preschool age communicate normally with peers is playing together. Children who know how and love to play will definitely learn to establish contacts with partners, distribute roles, create game situation. Teach your child to play together (preferably role-playing), help children come up with an interesting plot - and a good common game will become more important to them than praise or their own successes.

Senior preschool age

By the age of 6-7 years, children’s attitude towards their peers changes significantly again. At this time, the child is capable of extra-situational communication, which has nothing to do with what is happening here and now. Children tell each other about where they have been and what they have seen, share their plans or preferences, and evaluate the qualities and actions of other children. At this age, it is already possible for them to communicate in the usual sense of the word for us, that is, not related to games and toys. Children can simply talk for a long time (which they could not do in early preschool age), without performing any practical actions. The relationship between them is also changing significantly. By the age of 6, the child’s friendliness and emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of peers increases significantly. Often older preschoolers carefully observe the actions of their peers and are emotionally involved in them. Quite often, even contrary to the rules of the game, they strive to help their peers and tell them the right move. If four- to five-year-old children, following an adult, willingly condemn the actions of their peers, then six-year-olds, on the contrary, defend a friend or can even support his “resistance” to an adult. At the same time, the competitive element in children’s communication remains intact. However, along with this, older preschoolers acquire the ability to see in a partner not only his toys, mistakes or successes, but also his desires, preferences, and moods. Children of this age not only talk about themselves, but also ask their peers questions: they are interested in what he wants to do, what he likes, where he has been, what he has seen. These naive questions reflect the emergence of a selfless, personal attitude towards another person. By the age of six, many children have a desire to help a peer, give or give him something. Schadenfreude, envy, and competitiveness appear less often and not as acutely as at the age of five. Sometimes children are already able to empathize with both the successes and failures of their peers. Such emotional involvement in the actions of one-year-olds indicates that peers become for the child not only a means of self-affirmation and comparison with oneself, not only preferred partners. Interest in a peer as a valuable personality in itself, important and interesting, regardless of her achievements and the subjects she possesses, comes to the fore. Parents, of course, should support their children’s attitude towards their peers, teach them by personal example how to care for others and take their children’s affections seriously. By the end of preschool age, stable selective attachments arise between children, and the first shoots of friendship appear. Preschoolers gather in small groups (2-3 people each) and provide clear preference to your friends. Disputes and problems arise mainly in connection with “who is friends with whom,” or “hangs out with whom.” The child may seriously experience the lack of reciprocity in such relationships. Psychological assistance parents in this case is very important. A child needs to share his troubles with someone, express his grievances. The serious and sympathetic attitude of close adults, their advice and support will help the child survive these first experiences and find friends. Moreover, children quarrel and make up very easily and, as a rule, quickly forget grievances. This is, in general terms, the age-related logic of the development of attitudes towards peers in preschool age. However, it is not always realized in the development of specific children. It is widely known that there are significant individual differences in a child’s attitude towards his peers, which largely determine his well-being, position among others and, ultimately, the characteristics of his personality development. However, this is a topic for the next separate conversation.

The problem has always been relevant in the research of foreign and domestic figures in pedagogy and psychology.

And this is not without reason, since it is a completely natural phenomenon. Children love to share their experiences during different types activities. Cooperative games Children cannot pass without communication, which is the leading need of children. Without communication with peers, a child can experience certain mental disorders.

And, conversely, full communication is an indicator of the harmonious development of a preschooler’s personality.

It should not be limited only to relationships within the family. Preschoolers should have contact with peers, teachers, and other adults.

A kindergarten group is practically a stage on which events unfold between the children - its actors. In interpersonal things, not everything goes smoothly. There are quarrels and peace. Temporary truces, grievances and petty dirty tricks.

In all positive relationships, preschoolers form and develop positive personality traits.

In negative moments of communication, the preschooler receives a charge negative emotions, which is fraught with sad consequences in his personal development.

What are the problematic forms of relationships with peers?

Forms of communication that are problematic include increased children's aggressiveness, excessive touchiness, shyness, and other communication problems.

Let's briefly look at the factors of peer misconduct.

Aggressive children

If a child is aggressive, it is unlikely that his peers will become friends with him. Most likely, children will avoid such a child. Such children are objects increased attention from parents and teachers.

Most preschoolers exhibit aggression to one degree or another. And it’s normal when a child reacts with some degree of aggression to unfair actions from the outside. However, this form aggressive behavior does not affect in any way general condition baby and always gives way to peaceful forms of communication.

But there are children whose aggressive manifestations are a stable side of their personality; they persist and even develop into the qualitative characteristics of preschoolers. This harms the normal communication of children.

Let's turn to another problem of children's communication.

Touchy children

Although touchy children do not cause much harm to others, it is also very difficult to communicate with them. Any wrong glance towards such preschoolers, an accidentally dropped word, and you already lose all contact with such a child.

Grievances can be very long-lasting. It is not easy for a touchy child to overcome this feeling, and he can withdraw into himself for a long time.

This feeling has a destructive effect on any friendly relationship. Resentment leads to painful experiences for children. They originate in preschool age. Younger children are not yet familiar with this feeling.

During the period of preschool childhood, when a child's self-esteem is formed, resentment arises suddenly and takes root deeply in the child's consciousness.

Unlike an aggressive child, a touchy child does not fight or show physical aggression. But the behavior of a touchy preschooler is demonstratively suffering. And it is not conducive to friendly communication.

Often, an offended preschooler deliberately attracts the attention of others by deliberately refusing to communicate with anyone who approaches him.

Shy kids

Communicating with shy children brings little pleasure. They generally refuse to communicate with unfamiliar children and adults. Getting to know them is a problem of the highest level.

Unfortunately, the beginnings of shyness can be observed in most preschool children. And if in 60% of preschoolers shyness disappears as soon as the child is offered something interesting, then it is very difficult to get others to talk.

Not everyone and not always succeeds in talking to a shy preschooler. When a stranger approaches, be it an adult or a child, a shy child feels emotional discomfort and becomes timid. In his behavior one can detect notes of anxiety, and even fear.

Shy preschoolers, as a rule, have low self-esteem, which prevents them from entering into relationships with peers. They feel like they will do something differently than what is required of them. And therefore they refuse to take steps towards the group of children at all.

Remain aloof from general affairs and any joint activities, watching other children play from the side.

I would like to note another type of children who have communication problems.

Demonstrative children

Such children, as a rule, compare themselves with other children and demonstrate their successes to everyone around them. They are arrogant and proud, even as children.

Demonstrativeness gradually turns into a stable quality of the child’s personality and brings him a lot of negative experiences. On the one hand, the child gets upset if he is perceived differently than he presents himself to be. On the other hand, he does not want to be like everyone else.

At times, a demonstrative child is able to perform a positive action. But this is not for the sake of anything else, but only so that once again show yourself, demonstrate your kindness.

Communication with a demonstrative child becomes very difficult in preschool age. Demonstrative children love to attract undue attention to themselves; they often bring beautiful toys to kindergarten to show off to other children.

Interestingly, demonstrative children are active in the communication process. But this communication on their part is devoid of interest in the other.

They talk exclusively about themselves. If they fail to assert themselves in the eyes of their peers, and especially adults, then such children begin to show aggression, make scandals, and quarrel with everyone.

And although other children don’t particularly want to communicate with them, they themselves really need to be surrounded. Because they need someone to listen to them in order to demonstrate themselves to society.

Features of communication between preschoolers and peers

As we discussed above, preschoolers’ communication with peers is very dependent on them. If they are aggressive, touchy, envious or demonstrative, then they often have problems in the process of communication.

But all children of the age we are considering have general features communication with peers.

Preschool children are characterized by increased emotionality. In a group of peers, they exhibit other forms of communication.

This applies to expressive and facial expressions. Children generally love to gesture during conversations and support their statements with facial expressions. This helps them be emotionally expressive when communicating.

I would like to note some features of communication between children in preschool age. Children love to communicate. During communication with peers, they develop speech skills, develop communication skills. Of course, there are also some problems with communication associated with frequent conflicts in the children's team.

Communication with peers is more relaxed than with adults. Completely different forms of behavior prevail here. Features of the behavior of preschool children during communication include irregular communication patterns. Such as bouncing, bizarre poses, antics. One child may deliberately imitate another, which does not happen in communication with an adult.

But in every free manifestation, the child reveals his individual personal characteristics. And these distinctive features Children's interactions with peers remain until the end of preschool childhood.

Another feature of children's communication in preschool age can be considered that the child's initiative predominates in response actions. The preschooler quickly responds to another child’s remark with reciprocal activity. At such moments, dialogue speech develops. At the same time, you can notice such problems as protests, grievances, conflicts, because the child is trying to be the last to say his weighty word. And none of the children wants to give in.

About forms of communication between children and peers

Now it’s worth talking a little about the child’s forms of communication among his peers.

The first form of communication among preschool children is usually called emotional and practical.
A child, often in early preschool age, expects participation in undertakings and pranks. This form of communication is situational and depends on the specific situation.

Problems in this form of communication can arise during interactions between communication partners. Either children switch their attention from their interlocutor to some object, or they fight over this object.

This is due to the fact that the development of objective actions is not yet occurring at a sufficient level, and the need to use objects in communication is already being formed.

In such cases, permission is reluctant.

Another form of communication between peers is called situational and business.

Around the age of four, its formation begins and continues until the age of 6. The peculiarities of this stage are that now children begin to develop role-playing skills, even role-playing game. Communication is already becoming collective.

The development of cooperation skills begins. This is not the same as complicity. If in the emotional-practical form of communication, children acted and played individually, although they were in the same group. But everyone imagined themselves differently. Here, children in the game are closely connected by a single plot and the roles they take on.

One role falls out, and a problem arises - the plot of the game is broken.

Therefore, it can be stated that the situational business form arises on the basis of a common cause to achieve a certain common result of interaction with peers.

In popular children, the development of communication skills in this form of cooperation outstrips the development of children's communication skills, which are less noticeable in the children's team.

It’s even worth noting here that aggressive and demonstrative children, which we talked about earlier, are more successful in developing communication skills than touchy and envious children, who more often remain on the sidelines due to their personal characteristics.

At 6-7 years of age, preschool children's communication skills become more or less developed. Children become more friendly towards their peers. The formation of mutual assistance skills begins. Even demonstrative children are already beginning to not only talk about themselves, but also show attention to the statements of other children.

At this time, the formation of an extra-situational form of communication begins, which goes in two directions:

• growth and formation of extra-situational contacts (children talk about what they did and saw, plan further actions and share their plans with others, learn to evaluate the words and actions of others);
• formation of a peer image (selective attachments to peers appear regardless of the communication situation, and these attachments are very stable by the end of the preschool period of childhood).

These are, in general terms, the features of the forms and problems of communication of preschool children. Now let's move on to consider effective ways development of communication skills between the child and his peers.

How to develop communication skills of preschool children in preschool educational institutions?

A preschool child’s communication skills with peers are actively formed in the process dialogue between children. Children's dialogue speech carries the basics of conversational speech activity in general. This includes the development of monologue skills and the formation of the preschooler’s speech readiness for the upcoming schooling.

Dialogues are actively used by children during games and other joint activities.

At the same time important role assigned to an adult who takes an active part in such communication between children.

Playing together, as a form of social life for a child of this age, helps solve many relationship problems.
Role-playing games help develop community and conversational skills. In games you can implement the formation of all forms of communication.

An adult needs to teach children to start, continue and end a dialogue. The child must be able to maintain a conversation, answering questions posed during the dialogue.

Dialogue is a very difficult form of communication, through which it is fully realized. social interaction. Therefore, an adult should contact the child as often as possible, maintaining a positive emotional tone. This will encourage the preschooler to talk. Features of communication during dialogue contribute to the formation of skills in constructing sentences of various types, from simple narrative ones to complex ones in their design and phonetic aspects.

Have you ever sat on a bench in any playground on a sunny day?

Where children from one year and up to seven years old play? If yes, then you probably, while watching them, caught the whole pattern of their communication. Four-, five-, and six-year-old children usually play in groups or as a team.

While younger children either play alone, not particularly interested in their neighbor in the sandbox (unless, of course, he is attracted by other people’s bright toys), or he is entertained by his mother. In principle, this is the peculiarity of communication between preschool children, namely this age.

So, what is communication between preschool children?

As a rule, this is a long, continuous process that includes styles, forms of communication, as well as the targeting of communication (the child’s communication within the family, with adults, with peers).

Let's look at each component of communication in more detail. The forms of communication between children depend directly on their age. Modern psychology identifies four forms:

• Situational-personal (from birth to six months): from about 1 month the baby begins to turn his head towards the sound, from 1.5 months to smile, and from 3-4 months to smile in response to the smile of his parents. These are the first manifestations of communication: the child responds to the sounds and facial expressions of his parents (those people he is used to and knows well).

• Situational-business (from six months to two years): at this age, the parent is a model for the child, an assistant, a mentor. In any form of activity of a child, he requires the presence of an adult, his complicity.

• Extra-situational-cognitive (from two to five years): the specificity of this period (junior and middle preschool age) is that the child is ripe for communication with adults and partly peers. The child is drawn to an adult, which manifests itself both in games and in attempts to help around the house and copy the actions of adults. If a child attends kindergarten, then at this age the role of the teacher is also paramount (the child tries to earn praise, brings gifts to the teacher). At this age, a child can be called a “why?” he constantly asks questions about the world around him, natural phenomena, i.e. his needs for cognition increase.

• Extra-situational-personal (age six to seven years): the main means of communication is speech, which allows the child to convey and, most importantly, receive the necessary information. Children of senior preschool age begin to develop their first collective communication skills, team games, cooperation. This is the highest degree of communication for a preschool child.

The first two forms (inherent in early preschool age) involve nonverbal communication, i.e. using facial expressions, gestures, touches, smiles, actions. Speech accompaniment of actions and games is inherent in the last two forms.

The development of communication skills depends entirely on the choice of communication style between adults and the child (whether parents or a teacher in a preschool educational institution). The style of communication predetermines the further development of the child’s character, his initiative, sociability, leadership qualities, ability to cope with difficulties.

There are three main communication styles of preschoolers:

1. Authoritarian style is a tough style that involves adults making demands for strict obedience, suppression of initiative, and, as a result, punishment for disobedience. The result of such upbringing can be the following qualities of the child: fear of new circumstances, various fears in later life, anxiety, helplessness, waiting for someone else to make decisions.
2. Liberal – characterized by permissiveness, compliance, excessive effeminacy, lack of life guidelines. Low initiative communication is evident.
3. Democratic (humanistic): in the foreground comes goodwill in communication, mutual support, support, joint equal participation in various activities, which forms a child’s positive self-esteem and self-confidence.

Of course, in everyday life no style found in pure form in child-adult relationships. Usually there is a mixture of authoritarian and democratic (as a means of “carrot and stick”), or democratic and liberal. Most children are designed in such a way that, in principle, they like to communicate, explore toys, they are open to everything new and interesting, inquisitive and cheerful.

But there is another category of guys who are more anxious, suspicious, and shy. Such children experience some difficulties in communication, especially in preschool age. Impaired communication skills (as well as their slow development) are a consequence of various barriers:

• - psychological and emotional characteristics child. (Melancholic child, shy, introverted, aggressive, impulsive, leader child);
• - behavioral characteristics (rudeness, pugnacity, tearfulness);
• - neurological problems(increased fatigue, headaches, depressed mood);
• - the child has no need for communication (or it is not sufficiently formed) - it is more interesting and calmer for the child to play alone than with peers, although they are quite friendly with him.
• - lack of motives for communication among preschool children – we're talking about that the child does not understand why he should share a toy with someone, help someone in the game, or give him hints if he plays well alone without any problems.
• - the dominance in children is not of the communicative (dialogical) principle, but of the practical one. Some children find it much more interesting to draw, sculpt from plasticine, sing, and weave beads than to talk with a group of children.

Of course, the organization of the educational process, the formation of conflict-free skills interpersonal communication for preschool children falls on the shoulders of teachers. Children who do not attend kindergarten are largely deprived of the full development of communication skills, because The psychology of communication with children is a complex, multifaceted process.

In any children's group, sooner or later a conflict brews - i.e. serious disagreement, dispute. To ensure conflict-free communication between preschool children, the teacher-educator sometimes has to use all unimaginable methods.

Scientific papers, reports, presentations on the formation of conflict-free communication are written on this topic, scenarios for activating communication are developed, conferences are organized, the content of which boils down to one thing: painless resolution of conflict situations in children's environment.

What causes a conflict situation in a group of children?

Most often, conflict arises in gaming activities.

Let's highlight the main types:

• arguing over the desire to have certain toys;
• arguing over what games to play;
• conflict over who will participate in the game;
• about the rules and plot of the game; regarding the distribution of roles;
• conflict over the destruction of the game.

The teacher is obliged to create conditions for the maximum prevention of conflicts or their optimal resolution, which are the main tasks of the pedagogical process.

Plan for organizing conflict-free communication for preschool children:

1. Provide a sufficient number of identical or similar toys in the group;
2. Teach children to share toys, play in turns, exchange;
3. Help the guys distribute roles, involve everyone who wants to. When distributing roles, use counting rhymes and lots to avoid conflict;
4. If the game is disrupted by one of the children, try to switch his attention to another activity, involve him in another activity;
5. If a fight occurs, immediately interrupt it, delve into the subject of the fight and try to explain why both sides are wrong;
6. Organize training of children in the rules of polite communication, education of culture: - teach children polite words when contacting each other (thank you, please, excuse me); - teach how to say hello and goodbye; - stop attempts at sneaking (direct them to the target of the sneak: “And Vanya said something bad.” The teacher should answer: “Go tell Vanya about it, not me”);
7. Ensure children spend time together (possibly with their parents) outside kindergarten: theater, circus, performances;
8. Use games, competitions, read cautionary tales and stories as an opportunity to correct communication problems in a group. Such techniques allow children to develop their ability to negotiate and forgive insults;
9. A more subtle and personal approach to communicating with a certain category of children is the so-called “difficult” children. Psychological types such children: shy children, aggressive, impulsive.

Features of communication with difficult preschool children:

1. Features of communication with aggressive children

Characteristics of a shy child: isolation, excessive restraint and shyness, uncertainty, timidity, difficulty in expressing one’s opinion, in answering questions asked, many fears and internal experiences, refusal to play in teams.

• - praise the child more often even for the most insignificant success. Praise inspires such children;
• - involve the child in activities that are familiar and close to him;
• - give tasks in pairs with one of your peers;
• - offer your help, because It can be quite difficult to ask a child for help on your own.

3. Features of communication with impulsive children

Impulsive children are children who act under the influence of emotions, on the first impulse, without thinking through their actions. They have excessive mobility, restlessness, hyperactivity, short temper, irritability, and touchiness.

• - show an example of calm in any situation;
• - gradually develop the child’s perseverance, captivating interesting tasks or games;
• - set specific, understandable tasks for the child;
• - increase physical activity;
• - determine the framework of behavior that is permitted and solvable.

Thus, the role of communication among preschoolers is great. Further success in all areas depends on how successfully a child has learned to communicate and cooperate with others: studies, career, family life, ability to overcome difficulties, cope with tasks.